Chapter 2: Out of Control

Disclaimert: S. Meyer is the owner of Twilight.

My thanks goes out to n8tivegurl who put the idea for this chapter in my head. I hope I met the challenge to your satisfaction.


Emily was good enough to lend Bella the book she told Jacob about. It took her a few days to get through it. She was surprised at how much information her mother hadn't told her. Friends didn't give her the whole scoop either. And the high School classes? Forget it!

Bella delivered the book to Jacob at the end of the week. He was ready for his book report in twenty four hours. It was amazing how fast he could read when it was something he was acutely interested in. She was amazed and relieved at the same time. A lot of the male gender just thought: put the boy part into the girl part, and they would miraculously both pop their cookies at the same time and everybody would be happy. It just wasn't that simple; it didn't work that way in real life. And some of the stories she heard from her friends weren't exactly fairy tales either. Let's just say, their first experiences did not live up to their expectations. And soooo . . .

There they were sitting on the couch discussing Sex for Dummies. "I don't get it," Jacob was complaining. "It doesn't seem fair. Why does the first time have to be so uncomfortable for the girl?"

Bella shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe it's designed that way, so the females will think twice about who they want to give it up for. Or, here's one—it's meant to bring out the gentle, sensitive side of the male."

Rolling his eyes, Jacob retorted, "Oh, yeah, how many guys, besides me do you think will be gentle and sensitive. How many guys would admit that they don't know what the hell they're doing, or even think there's something wrong with her? I wonder how many girls out there were in tears after their first time?"

Jacob looked down at the floor. "I know I'm gonna be a nervous wreck. I'll be so worried about hurting you. And if I do, it'll just kill me, knowing that you're making me feel sooo good and all I'm doing is giving you nothing but pain. I can't stand even thinking about hurting you. It won't be intentional, but still . . ."

Bella reached over and placed Jacob's hands in her lap. "Okay, enough. We'll just make sure we have plenty of astroglide and take our time. I think impatience—you know, trying to rush through it—is the main problem with the guys."

"That's easy for you to say. You have no clue how hard it is for a guy to take it slow. I mean, wham, that urge—it hits you like a ton of bricks—you just want to get the show on the road. I repeat—it is really hard to control that fire.

"Okay . . . movin' on." That item had been hashed out. Next, item number two was placed on the table.

There was a big question written into his features now. "Here's another thing I don't get—why does it take so long for a woman to get aroused? I mean, hell, sometimes I feel locked, loaded, and ready to shoot just by looking at you."

Bella's warm chocolate pools gazed lovingly into Jacob's eyes. It was making him all soft, and gooey inside. "I guess it's like when you want to give something special to someone you love; you sacrifice for them, putting them first. Making love with someone should be the same, not selfish or one sided. It forces the guy to be generous in sharing his pleasure with her. Isn't that what love is all about . . . sharing? Which reminds me: I'm making you a promise, because I know how you are now. I won't ever deny you, even if I'm not in the mood. I can't imagine that ever happening, but you never know."

"That's good, because I'll want you every day—twice a day, if I'm not too tired." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Well, think about it, Jake. If you came home after work hungry, and I had already eaten. Would I make you wait until I got hungry again to feed you? That doesn't make sense. The need for sex is a hunger, maybe not for food, but it's still a basic need, a hunger nonetheless. There's an emotional side to it too. Everyone needs to feel like they're wanted and desired. Every person on the planet wants to be loved, and I'm so glad that I'm loved by you."

She looked up at him with those big brown eyes and Jacob couldn't resist. He took her quickly in his arms and peppered her with tiny kisses which soon became a long, lingering, hungry search for that feeling that she so aptly described. He wanted her. He needed her. He loved her to distraction. She was a part of him, kept in a special place deep within the depths of his soul. He could never live without her; the mere thought would tear him into shredded ribbons—ribbons of despair.

Bella felt the same. It was as if he had transferred all his emotions, channeling them straight to her heart. And it was overflowing with the sensation.

When they finished devouring each other, Bella smiled. "So what else would you like to discuss? Let's get it all out in the open, once and for all."

Running a finger along her ear, Jacob asked, "Wait, what about you? Don't you have any worries?"

"I already told you about my concerns. I do have one worry though and it has nothing to do with sex." A small tear drop suddenly escaped from one eye, leaving a wet trail down her cheek. She swallowed thickly, past the barricade that was fast forming in her throat. It was making it hard for her to talk. "I'm so afraid of losing you, Jake—that's my biggest fear. I'll be left behind some day when you find your imprint. You won't have any control over that, and there's no way any woman in her right mind would reject it. You'll have your soul mate, and I'll be hurt and all alone."

"I won't let that happen. I'll wear blinders. You can lead me around, when we're outside among the peasants. I'll give you a bat to beat the woman away from me." He could see by her sad expression, that his light hearted attempt at humor did nothing to alleviate her anxiety about the whole imprinting business.

He stroked her cheek lightly, and then raised her chin up so he could look straight into the windows of her heart. His voice was low and soothing. "I promise you, it's never gonna happen. How could it? The way I feel about you . . . it's . . . there're just no words to describe it. Can't we close the lid on that worry? Please, Bells . . . I don't want that thought to ruin our chance to be together. I love you. I'm here now, right beside you. Let that be enough for now."

Another little glistening drop trickled down onto her other cheek. Jacob brushed away the tears on both of her cheeks with one finger. He pulled her toward him, resting her head on his shoulder, smoothing her hair with his hand.

They sat there on that dilapidated old couch in quiet repose for several minutes. Bella listened to Jacob's steady breathing, as he continued stroking her hair.

The sound of Billy's wheelchair squeaking in the kitchen interrupted the silence, and Bella finally moved in his arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I didn't mean to cut our conversation short.

"It's okay," He answered. "You had that bottled up inside you for so long and you needed to let it out. Feel better now?"

She huffed out, "No!"

They both laughed. Jacob kissed the top of her head and ruffled her hair.

Bella repositioned herself beside Jacob. "I promise not to cry anymore." She exhaled loudly, hesitated and then blurted out. "So, what else is on your mind?"

Jacob tossed her a seductive glance, at least he thought so.

It wasn't lost on Bella; she caught it immediately. "Good grief, I mean about the book, you idiot."

"My Bella is back." He winked at her. "All right, I guess . . . jeez . . . I'm . . . I'm afraid I won't be able to satisfy you. I don't want to leave you hanging and frustrated. You'll end up hating me."

"Is that all?" She actually appeared to be amused by that comment.

Jacob was confused. "What do you mean, is that all? That's a guy's biggest dread—that he'll fail to please his woman in the bedroom."

"Don't worry. I won't let you fail. I'll be spoon feeding you strict instructions on how to please me. So, see—no worries. You'll take care of my needs just fine." A big grin broke out over her face. To Jacob it was like the dawn dispelling the dark shade of night.

"Jeez, I had no idea that women were so different from men. There're like the total opposite."

Bella cocked an eyebrow, "Hence the term, the opposite sex."

Standing up from the couch, Bella pulled on his hand. "And speaking of needs earlier, I'm getting awfully hungry. How about you? Do you want me to fix you something to eat?"

He answered in typical Jacob fashion. "I'm a wolf, Bells. What do you think?"


They got through the next two weeks, trying to surround themselves with people. But the last Friday of that fateful period—May 7—tested their resolve. There was a great celebration in La Push; Emily and Sam were getting married.

Jacob looked rather dashing in his suit and tie. Bella wore the only formal dress she owned, the lavender velvet sheath with the satin bow at the waistline. It was the same dress that Renee had bought her for her graduation. It was certainly a hit with Jake. He couldn't keep his eyes—or his hands—off of her.

He held her intimately, enclosing her small hand over his heart as they danced to a slow, romantic number. He whispered in her ear, "Do you have any idea what you are doing to me? God, I could just eat you up."

They finished eating—their food—and Jake grabbed her hand, walking with her away from the community center where the reception was being held.

"I can't stand it, Bells. You are absolutely breathtaking today." He pulled her to himself closely, tangling his hands in her softly waved mahogany hair. His lips danced up her throat, and over to the sensitive spot right behind her ear, before finally reaching her waiting mouth. Jake's warmth overtook her and their combined breaths quickly came in gasps.

"I've gotta have you, Bells. This dress is slaying me," he groaned.

"Good thing our wedding is only a little more than two months away," she panted.

"I'm not going to last two more hours." Jacob's smoldering dark eyes bored intensely into hers, revealing a rapidly escalating desire. He could sense it in her too; the scent of her arousal was teasing his inner wolf unmercifully.

"What would you say if I asked you to run away with me this minute? Just you and me—Jake and Bells. We could elope and be married by this afternoon. Will you do it? Will you marry me today . . . right now?"

With eyes flashing brightly, Bella replied, "What are we waiting for?"

"You mean it?" His head jerked in surprise.

"Do I ever lie to you?" Was it his imagination, or was she winking at him?

"That's all I wanted to hear!"


A/N: So what do you think? Will they really tie the knot? Please I need to know what you're thinking. I need a few reviews to make me think too.