Ethan opens his eyes, blinking against the sunlight beginning to peek through the open blinds. It still feels too early and he's about to roll over and go back to sleep when he feels it - a warm, solid weight pressed against his side.

Kristina.

His heart starts to pound, consciousness slamming down on him, as he lifts his head, trying to quickly take in the scene.

On top of the covers.

Fully dressed.

Completely innocent.

He exhales and lays back flat, staring at the ceiling as he tries to remember the previous night. He turns his head slightly, glancing down at her again, letting his eyes linger on the profile of her face, illuminated by the warm, golden glow of the early morning light. Several strands of hair have fallen into her face and his hand itched to brush them back, out of the way, but he doesn't want to risk waking her. Today's a big day and she needs her sleep. He frowns, suddenly remembering. Today is a big day.

He turns his head toward the door and sees her luggage stacked, ready to go.

She's leaving today.

It's only been two weeks but one of her friends from school set her up with a last-minute internship at a law firm in New York City. She says it's not exactly what she wants to do but she would get paid, it would look great on a resume, and it was New York City. Kristina said it was mostly luck that she landed it so late, though there may have been a little string pulling from her mom. He didn't doubt that Alexis would do anything to get her out of his apartment, but they couldn't prove it.

He knows he should probably be happy, for her and for himself. It's a great opportunity for her and he wouldn't have to sleep on the couch for the next three months. But, if he's honest with himself, happy was far from what he felt when she told him. He dismissed the disappointment that settled in his stomach as a symptom of missing her for the last year.

Even though he was reluctant to let her move in with, not wanting to lead her on, it didn't mean he didn't want her here; she and Johnny were his best friends, after all.

Still, he can't ignore the feeling that something in their relationship shifting.

Last night, as she finished packing, she looked over at him and said, "It'll probably be a lot of fun. And a chance to get out of Port Charles. We could all probably use that once in a while, right?"

It's subtle but he didn't miss it, the offer she was trying to convey.

You could come with me.

He remembers a time when she would have asked and kept asking until she got the answer she wanted. There was also a time she would have said no to the internship and stayed here, playing house in his apartment for the summer. There was also a time when he would have said no, counted out the reasons why it was a bad idea, and just start lying if she persisted.

Maybe he really didn't give her enough credit. Or maybe she was growing up.

Either way, he knows the relief he felt when she didn't ask isn't because of her but because he's not sure how he would have answered. He's not sure what he wanted.

:::

"What's this for?" Ethan asks, counting a few extra bucks in the wad of cash Johnny threw at him.

Johnny shrugs. "Things have gotten significantly more dangerous and you need to be well-compensated for it. I don't know what my father's game is but the goal was to provoke Sonny and it worked. He's gunning for us." Johnny walks past Ethan, slapping him on the back. "And that's the deal - you're paid handsomely for sticking your neck out for us."

Ethan tips his head. "Well, glad to be of service. Especially when I get paid like this," he adds, shoving the cash in his pocket.

"Yeah well, remember I'm a kind and generous boss. I could dock your pay for the kind of trouble you're bringing."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ethan asks, looking up at Johnny.

"Does the phrase 'Stay away from my daughter or I'll kill you' ring a bell?"

Ethan groans and falls back into the sofa, already sick of this conversation.

"Look," Johnny continues, "you walk around with a target on your back because of Kristina. I'm surprised Sonny hasn't hit the roof yet as far as you're concerned. Consider yourself lucky she left when she did."

Before Ethan can reply, his cell phone buzzes in his pocket. He fishes it out as Johnny moves to sit across from him. Ethan quickly scans the message and shoves the phone back into his pocket.

"Problem?" Johnny asks casually.

"No, no."

Johnny pauses. "Kristina?"

Ethan looks at Johnny, annoyed, his silence an answer.

"Yeah," Johnny nods. "Brave man."

"We're friends," Ethan says emphatically. "Sonny can bring up the Pine Barrens as much as he wants; it's not going to scare me. Nothing's going on." Ethan hesitates. "Besides, I think Kristina's finally grown out of whatever crush she had on me. And I never had feelings for her like that."

Johnny studies him carefully and he has to fight the urge to look away under his scrutiny. "I can understand why you're lying to everyone else – Sonny, Alexis, your family, even Kristina. But why are you lying to yourself?"

:::

She'll be home for three days at Thanksgiving and two weeks at Christmas.

Things have calmed down over the last couple of months so when she comes home, she'll be staying at the lake house.

He knows it's for the best. The quiet won't last, if anything it's like the calm before a storm, but Kristina misses Alexis and Molly and he's glad she'll have the opportunity to take advantage of it.

He's also grateful for other reasons, the ones he doesn't have to think about with her so far away. He wants to blame everyone else. Johnny for putting ideas in his head, Sonny and Alexis for seeing things that weren't there, and Kristina for making him miss her, but he knows it's not their fault. It's his and he'll deal with it, even if it means putting a little more distance between them when she gets home.

It won't be easy. He's already promised to meet her on Thanksgiving and Kristina's started talking about them getting a small tree for the apartment so they can spend Christmas Day together.

:::

"Knock, knock," Kristina says as she lets herself into Ethan's apartment.

"Hey, I was just getting ready for you," Ethan says, gesturing towards the plates he's set out on the table.

"Very nice." Kristina raises her arm, lifting the large bag she carried. "I brought plenty of leftovers and, of course, one dozen pumpkin cookies."

"So how did it go?"

"Pretty good." Kristina begins to unpack the contents of the bag onto the table. "Both Mac and my Mom came willingly this year which, I think, is a victory."

He smiles, continuing to open tupperware and remove foil. "Well, I admire your tenacity. It may finally be paying off."

"Yeah, sometimes people just need time to see what's right in front of them." She looks at him knowingly and hands him a cookie. "And maybe a little well-intentioned pushing."

He thinks for a second and takes the cookie from her. "I guess so."

:::

The New Year's Eve party rages inside, the music from the Metro Court ballroom almost drowning out his thoughts as he looks down at Kristina.

It's been a while since he's felt the need to remind himself of all the reasons this shouldn't happen - the age difference, her father's threats to make him disappear, his own father's warnings about being wrapped around a such a pretty finger.But they're all starting to sound like excuses and as she steps closer, her gaze wandering from his eyes to his mouth, they're fading fast from his mind.

She pulls him down and he willingly moves forward to meet her, his hands going to her hips. She kisses him and he kisses back. When she starts to pull back, probably to gauge his reaction, he moves his hand to grip her arm, stopping her. Her breath hitches as he lowers his head again.

She leaves three days later with a smug smile and his promise to visit her in the spring.

:::

Ethan and Johnny rush to the hospital and get there in time to see Sonny and Anthony face off in the middle of the trauma unit.

Anthony's eyes follow the stretcher as Dante is wheeled into surgery. He shakes his head slowly. "Children … so hard to keep an eye on them."

Sonny stares Anthony down. "I know … I know you did this."

Ethan looks around and sees Lulu and Olivia off to the side, holding on to each other. Guilt makes him hang back, behind the nurse's station.

"You do, do you?" Anthony asks, a hard gleam in his eyes. "I don't appreciate your lack of trust. And I don't like to be threatened. You might want to be very careful what you say next."

"If he dies, you know … you know what's going to happen. It's not a threat." Sonny pauses. "It's not a threat."

They probably would have kept going but Patrick comes out and promises to have them both escorted off the property if they don't stop.

Anthony leaves and Johnny follows soon after but Ethan stays. And he doesn't relax until Patrick comes back with an update four hours later. Dante's going to pull through.

Ethan drops his head to his hands, relieved. He texts Kristina to let her know everything will be okay. In his head though, he can't help but add this time. Just thinking it, he realizes he's never been so happy that Kristina left Port Charles.

:::

It's a seven hour drive in late February. She said it would be perfect since she wouldn't be home for Spring Break this year, planning instead to go on a service project to Central America. He encouraged her when she first mentioned it. The less time she spent in Port Charles, the better.

He waits for her at the campus center, surprised by how much the place looks like the brochure. He stops in front of a giant cork board advertising all kinds of summer internships, job placements, and study abroad programs. He studies it while he waits, thinking about how many opportunities lie in front of her. Literally, a world of them.

"Ethan!"

He turns to see her, all but running toward him, her smile growing impossibly big as she nears. She immediately wraps her arms around him and he embraces her back, stooping down to fully wrap his arms around her.

"I'm so glad you're here. I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he says against her hair.

She grabs his hand to lead him to her dorm room. As they make their way across campus, she points out areas of interest he's sure he'll forget.

He catches people looking at them as they walk. At least, he thinks he does. He looks to Kristina but she's happily chatting away, and never lets on if she notices.

:::

Her dorm room is tiny. There are two beds, two desks, and two chairs. He can tell immediately which side is hers without even looking at the pictures of her family pinned up next to her desk. Michael and Morgan. Alexis and Molly. Sam and Jason at their wedding.

He glances at the other side of the room and Kristina must notice because she tells him her roommate will be spending the weekend with her boyfriend so he can stay here with her. He nods and drops his duffel bag on the floor, trying not to think about the implication of her words or if she told her roommate he was her boyfriend.

:::

She insists that they go out to dinner. She can't wait for him to try the food at her favorite Italian restaurant. Over dinner she casually starts mentioning things they can do together while she's home for Spring Break.

"What about the trip?"

"Well, I was thinking since I'm already going to be gone all next year with the study abroad program, I could skip this trip. This way I get to go home and spend some time with my Mom and Molly … you." She smiles and nudges his foot under the table.

He tries to smile back but he's not sure it's very convincing.

:::

He sits at her desk while she's in class the next day, examining the books stacked there. Mostly business and economics textbooks. They don't talk much about her classes but he was still surprised when she announced that she had declared her major as business. He suspects it has everything to do with Sonny.

When Michael started working at ELQ, he and Kristina got the idea of using his on-the-job experience and her book smarts to legitimize their father's business. He doesn't believe it can happen, certainly not any time soon, but she sounds so optimistic and excited about the future, he goes along with it anyway. The farther Sonny falls, the harder they work to try to save him. Sometimes he thinks she would be better off walking away and never looking back.

Ethan's phone buzzes in his pocket. It's a text from Johnny. We have a problem.

He is about to stand and call Johnny back when he notices a binder on the floor, squeezed between the desk and the wall. He sets down his phone and pulls the binder out. It is filled with brochures and print-outs from the Internet. Grad schools. He can't help but notice that they are all within a few hours drive of Port Charles. He's sure there's a reason for that, and it makes him uncomfortable.

He puts it back and walks to the window, momentarily forgetting about Johnny. He looks out, at the students walking around.

After Maya left, he told Kristina it was for the best. Their lives were going in different directions and it was better to get out before too much damage was done.

Now, he wonders when that thinking changed. And whether or not he was making a big mistake by being here.

:::

Ethan is waiting for her when she comes back.

Kristina throws down her bag when she walks in, a smile on her face. "Hey!"

"Hey."

The smile slips off her face as she takes in the look on his face. She bites her lip and tries to smile again, but its clearly forced. He knows she can tell something is wrong, and probably knows what it is, but she valiantly tries to ignore it.

"So what did you do today?" she asks, turning to pick up her bag and start unpacking her books, purposely not looking at him.

"Kristina …"

"Did you walk around campus? Or explore the city?"

"Kristina."

She puts her books down and takes a deep breath before turning to face him.

"We need to talk."

:::

"Why? Why would you -"

Lulu stops abruptly, and Ethan thinks it has to have something to do with the look on his face. He appreciated her concern when she first stopped by the Haunted Star but now he just doesn't want to have this conversation.

"Sorry, sorry. Supportive, I know. Just – why?"

"It hit me. I thought – I thought it was over, you know, making decisions because of me but I don't think it is so … I told her that."

Lulu studies him and shakes her head. "I don't believe you. I think there's something else, something you're not telling me."

Ethan sighs. "One day, years from now, she's going to look around and wonder what happened. How she got stuck here, dodging bullets meant for her father … or me."

"That's not for you to say. You don't know that. And you can't make decisions for her, Ethan."

He gets up from the table they're sitting at and walks to the bar for a drink. "She's going to regret it. She'll realize there's so much better out there for her. Better than anything that's here."

"What about you? You love Kristina, don't you?"

Ethan doesn't answer and takes a drink.

:::

Ethan's not thinking as he pulls a cute waitress in to his apartment, her flirty laughter filling his ears. Not that thinking would have helped. He knows Kristina still has a key to his apartment but she's supposed to be in Honduras building houses and purifying drinking water. Not standing in the middle of the living room waiting for him.

But that's where she is, standing in the middle of his living room, watching as he kisses a waitress, his hands in her hair and her hands under his shirt.

:::

Kristina is leaving for Rome today.

He only knows because Molly keeps him updated. Kristina has been home all summer but he hasn't seen her once, not even in passing. He hasn't made much of an effort himself, preferring to spend all his time hiding in the Haunted Star. And she hasn't come looking for him either.

The last contact he had with her was one day when he came home and found the spare key taped to his door.

Ethan is all too aware of how much time passes without talking to her. He counts the days without meaning to and thinks that she's gone, really gone this time, along with the responsibility and stress and dangerous father and mob wars and age and all the reasons it was a bad idea.

And he misses her.

He knows he could go to her, beg her to listen, apologize for all his doubts and the way he's treated her. She might forgive him and one day the light in her eyes might return.

But he won't. He won't show up at the airport this time because he still has the same doubts.

And he hates watching her leave.