Hi again (: here's the 2nd chapter! hope you like it
Inspired in the song ´Lovegame' by Lady GaGa
Love,
MG
I opened my eyes with a little regret of having woken up from that dream.
Last night I dreamt with him, again. Normally things like this wouldn't happen to me, for a start I wouldn't be even bothering with this trivial thoughts of love... But when it comes to Syuusuke, it can't be helped.
Night after night I dream about him, I wish it could stop.
I give a look around at my room and found something that called my attention, a red box with his name on it. It was a Valentine's day gift and it was all thanks to Oishi.
Flashback
It was a Friday, at first period: Math
I was sitting right next to Fuji, who was beside the window, Oishi was sitting behind him and Kikumaru was next to him. It was one of the few classes we all got to share together, not that it makes a difference anyway.
I've made a proposition to my heart and mind, if during classes my mind payed attention then I would feed my heart thinking about him all day long. Silly, I know. But that certainly didn´t happen today.
I wasn't able to take my eyes off of him and, believe me, I was trying hard, but nothing. Once in a while he would stop staring at the window and notice I was looking at him, but in a few seconds he would have switched his look back outside, again.
Oishi noted this imediatly and gave me a look full of concern, I ignored this, because I already know this is wrong and weird coming from me.I don't what him saying this is so unlike me. I can see that for myself.
Being in love with Syuusuke was not something I was going to accept, it was just plain attraction, that's it.
Before I could realize it was lunch time. I headed through the door. Syuusuke asked me in the morning if we could have lunch together but I had some bussines to do, so I rejected.I need to have some words with Ryuuzaki sensei about the formation for the nationals. But just when I was on my way Oishi stepped in..
"Sumimasen, Tezuka"
"Ahh?" I said without showing any emotions, like always when I'm not near Fuji.
"Is something wrong with you?"
"Not at all" could it be that he's going to ask me about him?
If he does then I'll be forced to lie.
"I noticed the way you stared at Fuji all morning long" he said a little worried "Is there any trouble between you two?"
"No" if he doesn't believe this I'll have to convince him into it.
"Could it be that..." he said shutting up imediatly "Nah, it must be my imagination"
What is he thinking? It may be better if I asked him, because what if he tells this to someone else thinking is a state from his mind? But I don't think I'm that obvious for him to realize except...for today.
"What is it?" I asked with a monotone tone.
"Are you..I-in..in..l-ove w-with him?" He said with a confused look
"...." No response for that, of course
"Tezuka, you are unsure of this yourself aren't you? But what happens to you when you see him? What do yo feel?"
"Nothing" I'm a liar, I know.
"For God's sake, Tezuka!" he said really surprised "How can you say that after I've seen how you look at him? I know what you feel, I know that you are just not caring about your feelings. Denial is not a good path when there is something is there"
"It's complicated" And with that I started my way in the search for Ryuuzaki sensei.
"Why don't you confess on Valentine's day?" he said in a loud tone so that I could hear it.
"That would have no sense at all when I don't have any feelings towards him" Am I trying to convince myself?
"Everytime that you see him don't you just want to hold him tigh and protect him from the world? Each time he laughs or smiles don't you feel your world is being brighten up?"
When he said that I was in shock, naturally I didn't show that on my poker face, but I was in a big one.
I'm more into Fuji than what I've thought I was. A lot more, according to what Oishi just said. My once calculator and programmed mind has turned now into a mess of feelings and thoughts that I cannot control anymore. I think I'm kind of pathethic.
"So just give it a chance, Tezuka" he said with a comprehensive look "Give it a chance to the posibility of being happy with him and letting someone else in your life besides tennis"
The part that I hate about this is that he's totlly right.
"Hn.."
He knew that with that I was completely admiting my feelings and all of the things he just said.
End Flashback
I took the small box and put it into my bag along with my tennis clothes for today.
Normally I would hate this day, because of all the girls and boys that will be bothering me with their gifts. Why can't people understand that I don't like sweet things? Well it doesn't really matter, is not as if I was going to accept them anyway. But today is kind of different.
I took a quick shower and put my uniform on, grabbed my bag and left home.
I was on my way to pick Syuusuke up, like always.
Today, what I hate the most is that a lot of people, too, are going to give things to Fuji and confess to him. And in this situation that is a really big problem. I'll have to share him.
When I arrived at Fuji's he's there waiting for me.
"Morning, Tezuka" he greeted me with his brilliant smile
"Morning, Fuji"
We started our walk silently, until...
"Saa, Tezuka" He said with his smile still on, of course
"Hn?"
"Do you have someone special you like?"
Why did he had to ask this today? It's just a coincidence?
"No" as always I have to keep it right. But I know he can tell that I'm lying.
"How lucky you are" he says with a sad grin on his face.
"Lucky?" I asked a little surprised.
"You don't have to be worried about thinking if that person loves you back" He said as his smile started to fade and he seemed a little... hurt?
"If that person rejects you, then that means he is not deserving of your feelings" At that statement he stared at me and gave me a smirk.
"Naturally what you say makes a lot of sense, Tezuka, but it's not easy having to deal with a broken heart, you know?"
"Actually, I don't"
I really don't know about those things... I've never been in love before, until now.
"It's the worst feeling ever"
"..." I don't know what to say.
After saying that, we both arrived to the courts and went to the club house to change our clothes for the morning practice. He likes somone, what am I supposed to do now?... This was unespected, why of all the days did he choose to tell me this today? Just after I decided to tell him how I feel. I'm even more confused now, if that is even posible.
I changed all my clothes and the only thing left were my shoes, but when I took them out I come into realization of the box that is just bellow where the shoes were. To Fuji Syuusuke it says...What an inappropiate moment for this. I looked for Fuji but he's nowhere to be seen, guess he's already done and outside. I force the box even deeper into my bag and close it. Finally I put my shoes on and walked out to the courts.
I gave a look at the school clock... it's still early. As I step into the court A I find that there's something going on. Everyone is gathered together, apparently around someone. I step acoss the crowd and see Kikumaru down on the floor and Syuusuke next to him.
"What happened?"
"It seems that Kikumaru sempai passed out,Tezuka buchou" said Echizen
"But it was strange because he was hyper just a while ago.." added Kawamura
"Everybody go start practice and run 20 laps because of this mess" After that I could hear all the complains from every single one of them. Well, everyone except for Fuji. He's so worried about Kikumaru that he didn't even noticed I came into the picture. At that moment an unknown feeling made me want to be the only object of Fuji's attention. I wasn't, of course, and was far for being it compared to the redhaired boy...Could it be that he is the one he's in love with? By the way Fuji's looking at him...
"Fuji"
"Yes, Tezuka?"
"Help me to take Kikumaru to the bleachers"
"Hai, I think he has a light fever"
Fuji put his right arm around Kikumaru's waist,I did the same but on the other side, placed him there and searched for some cold water to put on his forehead.
"Ne,Tezuka, you can go to practice. I'll stay with him" he said caressing his best friend's cheek.
That hurts. I was right, he's the one Fuji was talking about. Then I won't be a trouble interfering here.
"Hn" That was all I managed to say before going to the courts.
Practice went well after that. Everyone finished their laps and started playing some matches, and after a while Kikumaru and Fuji joined in. It seemed that what happened to Kikumaru was just a lack of stamina that he recovered with that 'sleep'.
It was 15 minutes before the morning practice ended when Oishi came to where I was standing,apparently he had ended all his matches for today.
"Hey, Tezuka!" he said cheerfully "So, are you going to confess today?"
Ovbiously not.
He hit on a weak spot.
"No"
"What? why?" he asked confused
"He likes someone else" I said that with the coldest tone I was able to emit.
"I don't think so... He would have told Eiji about it...wouldn't he?"
"No if he's the one Fuji's in love with"
"Umm..But I think he's into you, too. I'm almost sure he will confess to you today if he is"
My mind is a disorder right now.
"He can do as he pleases"
He gave me a concerned look but didn't say anything. Even if he did I would have ignore him. I'm too annoyed to talk about this.
Being in love with him has turned me into this. I don't recall anytime,other than this one, that I've felt jealousy. This is not my normal self... right know I feel like my mind and heart are playing with me, a painful game to be honest.
Practice finally ended, and I went to the locker's room to change back into the uniform without sharing a word with anyone, not even a look.
After puting my clothes on, I open my bag and give a look to the box... I don't think it's coming out from there. I close it, pick the bag up and get ready to walk through the door. But before I did the last someone called me...
"Tezuka!" I turned around just to see the tensai's smiling face, I don't even know if it's just a fake smile. Truly, I don't care right now.
"Yes?" the cold tone came back.
"Could you meet me at the roof at lunch? I have something important to tell you" he said a little less thrilled than before, I bet he noted the coldness in my voice.
Is he kidding me? If this is what Oishi said, if he wants to confess to me, then what kind of game is he playing with me? I'll have to ask him myself to know the truth...this is confusing.
"Aah"
"Alright! thank you so much can't wait until then"
This time I did pay attention to his smile as he left the room. It was the most beautiful I've ever seen. Maybe there's a tiny chance that he's in love with me, too?
This is too much for my mind to handle. I cannot concentrate in anything at this moment, there are so many things running through my head. For the first time in my entire life I'm totally and completely unaware of what is coming next.
School hours passed as lighting.
It was already lunch time. Without even thinking about it I was already half way on the stairs that led to the roof.
I finally arrive and see you standing there waiting for me. I have no idea what is going on, but I've come to a simple conclusion: This is a game I'll have to play. Not knowing the results of it and neither what kind of game it is, I'm forced to do it because it's the only way to figure this out.
No gut, no glory.
I can see you standing there from across the roof with that gorgeous smile of yours. You make it seem so easy.
This lovegame is going to drive me crazy, I can't hold this back any longer.
So, game on.
Please review this story (: so that I can improve and know if you like it.
Take care and wait for the next chapter!
Love,
M
