Thank you to all of my reviewers and subscribers! It's you guys who keep me going! Special thanks to VoldieBeth, for being my first reviewer (Not that the others aren't great!)!
This chapter concentrates on the Avengers, but the next one will have much more of Loki.
Now where was I? Ah! Yes! The second chapter!
Disclaimer: Weeell! I went to the Marvel film studios and bought the whole lot of it, but then they sent Nat to kill me and retrieve the copyrights, so I just gave up on the idea.
To Burn in Agony and Ecstasy
Chapter Two
That night the Avengers (including Thor) and Pepper sat at the kitchen table in the Stark Tower, now renamed the Avengers' tower, enjoying a dinner, cooked by Pepper and Natasha, which was a mix of American and Russian kitchens.
"Natasha," Tony butted in, "you forgot the vodka." He smiled charmingly.
"I don't see it as an essential in Russian meals. Unless it is compulsory in American traditional meals..." She almost snapped back. She hated it when her home-land was thought of only as the birthplace of vodka and AK-47 guns. Clint managed a snicker and Tony's startled face and gave Natasha a knowing look.
"So Thor!" Natasha changed the subject quickly. "Things seem pretty stable on Earth, how are things in Asgard?"
"Ah, my fair lady, you bring me to the subject of Loki's trial and his punishment." Thor said with some sadness. "Loki is a criminal and I agree with that, but he seems to be sending himself through needless agony, as he calls it."
"Indeed?" Tony asked. "Looks like I own you a ten Benner, Old Reindeer does seem to have a consciousness." Bruce looked at Tony with a look that clearly said 'I am not amused' and 'This is not the time'. Thor looked at the two men harshly. He coughed and continued.
"He refuses to tell anybody what tortures him, he just says he burns, as he put it 'In agony and ecstasy'. And I feel deeply sorry for him."
"Sometimes," Natasha said, "people don't need to be punished, to understand what's wrong. They're conscience starts punishing them and they don't even think of committing such crimes again. But usually it's people who aren't emotionally strong or stable. I wouldn't have thought Loki a person of that kind."
"I knew people, from my time that is," Steve started, "who went to war to protect their families, who acted on the desire to save the world, but came scarcely a year later from an unstable emotional state. Some of them went mad form the scenes of battle, some from the fact that they killed people just like themselves…"
An awkward silence fell as the company took in Steve's words.
It was in this silence that Steve Natasha and Clint understood how much the three of them had in common. They all saw battle, they all killed and they all felt somewhat guilty, even though in the end they did the 'right' thing, for the 'greater good'.
When the meal was finished Thor went to the balcony to fly back to Asgard when he remembered Loki's message for Clint. Luckily the archer was close-by.
"Barton!" Thor called. Clint came out onto the balcony a few seconds later.
"What is it?" Clint asked.
"Loki asked me to tell you something. I think it may be something to do with why he's feeling so guilty, or whatever 'burns' him."
"Me? As in specifically me?" Clint asked, more than a bit confused.
"He asked to tell you, that he left a spider in Midgard."
Rage, anger, fire, jealousy, love, hate and other feelings clouded Clint Barton's mind milliseconds after he heard Loki's message. But he was a trained spy and assassin, so his body showed zero emotions. He would have to tell Natasha, but he would cross that bridge, when he came to it.
"Hmm…" He simply stated.
"Have you got any idea what he may have meant?" Thor asked.
"No. Sorry." Thor sighed and spun his 'hammer' and flew back to Asgard.
Back inside Natasha was cradling the guitar in her hands and playing a tune, which Tony and Clint found familiar, but they couldn't think why.
Мы по любимым разбредемся и по улицам, We will go back to our own streets and loved
Наденем Фраки и закрутимся в судьбе, We'll wear our best suits and spin in destiny
А если сердце заболит простудится, And if our heart will get sick, get a cold,
Искать лекарство будем не в себе! The medicine we shall find not in ourselves!
Natasha finished the song and set the guitar aside.
"Nat?" Clint asked her. "Could I have a moment with you?"
"Konechno!" She said and followed him to the corridor.
"Be careful, Barton! She took out one of my top boxers when he made a pun about her!" Tony shouted across the room.
As they rounded the corner Natasha put her back against the wall and looked expectantly at Clint.
"And?"
"It's about Loki." And as those words rang through her ears, Natasha remembered her nightmare. But she didn't let her face flinch.
"Thor said that Loki asked him to deliver me, specifically me, a message." He searched Natasha's eyes for any sort of glimpse of an emotion, but he found none. What else did you expect Legolas? He mentally scolded himself.
"Loki said that he left a spider on Earth." The words stumbled out of his mouth, tripping on his tongue, eventually making the sentence a bit blurted-out-like. To Clint's comfort the Black Widow's face showed no emotions whatsoever. Perhaps she was a top-level spy, but feelings such as love can't be hidden, even if the outside of a person is stone cold.
"Well the bastard's in Asgard right now, so I don't really give a shit at the moment." Natasha's voice was cold. Clint grabbed her arm as she was about to leave, a sudden panic taking over his mind.
"So if he was still on Earth you could have been bothered?"
"Clint, Loki is the last person I'm worried about right now. I haven't got a 100% accurate idea of what he meant, but since he's not a problem for me any more I am not going to waste my time deciphering his code."
"But did you ever…" Clint was lost for words, "…have any, I don't know, have you ever been attracted to him?" He knew the question was awkward and he didn't know what made him ask it, but something inside him screamed and made his heart melt at the thought that his Natasha could have been attracted to the God of Mischief. Perhaps it was jealousy, perhaps lust for her.
"Clint!" She answered roughly, "Love-is for children!" Her eyes were angry. He was a fool to think she could be attracted to Loki; he was just a God dam fool!
"Love-is for children, but lust-is for adults." Clint pushed on uselessly.
"Clint, forget it! Ok? I hate that son-of-a-bitch and you know it!" Clint knew that Natasha was really pissed of with him now by the way her whisper was getting an annoyed tone.
She was right. Love was for people who believed the world was theirs and theirs alone, for people who believed that it would be just the two of them forever and always. Love was something that got adults compromised and killed, in their profession at least. Love was something that made a person vulnerable. But lust was something different. And Clint had admitted that. He chose for himself that it was respect and friendship and lust that kept him attached to Natasha, not love.
But deep down, under his stone armour, he knew he was lying to himself. He just hadn't admitted it fully yet.
Natasha went to sleep that night, hoping that it would be images of her past, not the self obsessed bastard, who was trapped in Asgard and who was sending Clint ciphered messages that made the archer vulnerable.
But Natasha's hopes had been denied. She was back in the endless field. But this time the figure was walking towards her. She ran but the figure caught up with her and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her towards himself and wrapped his arms around her slender figure. Natasha tried to fight him off, but his hold was strong as was his body. His eyes looked into hers, exploring their depths. Natasha was once again scared by the maniac look in his eyes. And before she knew it his lips had crashed into hers. Fighting back was useless so Natasha forced open her eyes and came back to reality. She felt cold sweat drip down from her forehead. The alarm clock read 5:59.
Natasha dressed herself, washed her face with cold, flipping hell, freezing water, wiping away the last scenes of the nightmare. Suddenly she felt like her lips were a bit swollen. You're paranoid, Nat, just paranoid! She thought to herself and went to make herself a coffee.
But something in the deepest point of her whispered to her subconscious, that it was not just a nightmare.
Love it, hate it? Tell me!
