Chapter Two: Nothing To Live For
After about one hour had passed since Yami and Tea left for the movie theatre, Yugi couldn't stop staring up at the clock. He was mentally keeping track of how long the couple had been gone for. One hour and five minutes, one hour and six minutes, one hour and…
Bring! Bring!
Snapping him back into reality, the spiky-haired teen got up off of the couch and walked into the kitchen where he grabbed the cordless phone from atop the counter. Pressing 'Talk' while returning back to the living room and situating himself back down onto the couch, he greeted whoever was on the other end.
"Hello?"
"Yug? Hey! What's up buddy?"
"Joey?" His voice sounded dismal, completely opposite in comparison to that of the blonde's.
"Of course it's me! Who were ya expectin'? Seto Kaiba?" That comment, however, managed to steal a quick, yet honest laugh out of the shorter male.
"Heh, sorry about that. I guess I've just been out of it lately, ya know?"
"Huh? What do ya mean, Yug?" This was one of those oh-so-fateful questions that Yugi dreaded answering; he wasn't prepared for such a quizzical response to his statement. Even though he and Joey were the best of friends, he still didn't know if he could trust the blonde with something so personal. He couldn't even express his inner feelings to Yami, the one whom he was supposed to be able to confide in, no matter what the circumstances…
So if you can't trust someone like your own alter ego, then whom can you trust?
That is the question that plagued Yugi's mind for what seemed like forever; he just couldn't seem to comprehend a reasonable answer.
"Yug?" Joey repeated, snapping Yugi back into the dreaded state of reality. Reality: the one place in which an individual finds great difficulty in achieving solitude.
"What? Oh, sorry." Now the blonde was growing more and more suspicious of his friend's rather odd behavior.
"What's up man? You've been zoning in and out since we first started talking. Is something wrong? You know you can tell me if there is, I'm your best friend!" That was true; Yugi knew that he could trust Joey with his life, yet there was something holding him back from saying anything. Yami and Tea were also friends of the New Yorker and he didn't want to make it sound as if he was jealous or worse…beginning to dislike them completely…
More silence filled the already quiet atmosphere before Yugi was able to conjure up a reply to his friend's question.
"I…I know…" he stuttered.
"Then why don't you tell me what's buggin' ya?"
"I do…it's just that…well…" Struggling to find the right words, Yugi did not have even the slightest clue as to how to respond to his friend's newest query.
"What?"
Taking a deep, significant breath, the spiky-haired teen formed a possible answer within that of his own mind. "Look, it's about Yami and Tea," he began, an obvious tone of seriousness hanging on every word.
"Hm? What about 'em?" With a solemn expression plastering the whole of his face, Joey was completely oblivious as to why Yami and Tea were being dragged into a conversation dealing with Yugi's emotions.
"Well…they…they're dating…"
After hearing a small yet distinctive laugh on the other end, Yugi hung his head, defeated. He knew that what he had said was completely obvious, but how else was he supposed to enter the subject of the two teens?
"Heh, I already know that, Yug; everyone knows about that!" It was true; in their small circle of friends, gossip usually spread fast.
Yugi's cheeks reddened slightly as he raised his head slightly. "Yah, I know. But that's not all that I wanted to say…"
Secretly, Joey knew that the spiky-haired teen had more to say than what he did, yet refused to say anything…until now that is. "Oh? What about?"
Gulping down a large breath of air in which he had not realized he had been holding, Yugi prepared to speak the truth; it was the truth that had been plaguing his mind for quite some time.
"Well it's…"
"Yes?"
"I just…" Words failed him; his words were being foolishly stubborn at the worst possible time.
"What is it bud?" Joey was starting to grow even more curious as to what his friend had to say. What could be so important that he was having a hard time simply uttering the words?
"I…I can't…" A person knows what he or she is capable of and knows when to quit trying; for Yugi, that time was now.
"Huh? What do you mean? Why can't you tell me? Like I said before, I am your best friend so you know that you can trust me with whatever it is you want to say," the blonde stated reassuringly.
"I know that Joey, but it's just that…well…this is different…"
"Different? How so?"
There was a brief moment of silence before Yugi managed to form a response to the question that was asked of him. "I don't know. It just is." It wasn't very informative, yet it was all he could muster concerning the present circumstances.
"Oh I see…" Dismay suddenly evident in his once cheerful-sounding voice, the blonde hung his head and sighed deeply, of which Yugi could hear it clear as a bell.
Thinking that he had upset one of his best friends, Yugi quickly shot out an apology. "It's okay, really! It's not you! You didn't do anything wrong, I promise."
"I know. I'm not upset because of that. It's just, well, I was hoping to hang out with you today but if you're not feeling up to it then I'll reschedule the plans I made for another day. It's entirely up to you." Keeping his fingers crossed and hoping for the best, Joey couldn't help but think about what life would be like in his friend's shoes, especially on a day such as this. Even though he had had no idea of why Yugi was feeling the way he was, he knew that it couldn't be because of anything good. There was something bothering him, yet he seemed too scared to tell even his best friend the truth. The blonde, however, understood completely. He went through the same thing when his father would abuse him. Depression. That was what he felt every day of his life…that is until he started dating Seto Kaiba and eventually moved in with him. That was probably the best day of his whole life; he loved the blue-eyed brunette with all of his heart and never once wished to leave his side. Wait! Maybe that was what was bothering Yugi. When he brought up Yami and Tea's relationship, he couldn't find the courage he needed to talk about it. What if the reason he was so nervous was because he liked Tea or Yami as more than a close friend? Could that be true? Did he really love one of the two? The only problem keeping him from finding out the truth was Yugi himself. Could he gather up all that he had and ask him if he really did love someone? It was definitely nerve-wracking, that was for sure. What if he hated him for asking? Was it possible that he didn't even want to bring up the subject of Yami and Tea's relationship again? Was it too depressing to talk about? All these questions brought about much confusion and by now it was more than the blonde could handle. Fortunately, he finally managed to reach a decision.
"Yugi?"
"Huh? What is it Joey?"
"Well, I was just thinking and I was wondering about something. If, of course, you don't mind me asking."
"Sure, go ahead." Yugi was oblivious to any potential question the blonde might ask.
"I just wanted to ask you if…um…" It was almost as if something was preventing him from speaking. For some reason, he couldn't find the nerve to finish his statement. His heart was telling him to consider Yugi's feelings and to not place anymore added stress onto the young one's shoulders. On the other hand, his mind urged him to ask the question that he so longed to ask. What was he to do? Who should he listen to: his heart or his mind? In the end, who was truly right?
"Wanted to ask me what?" That voice was exactly what the blonde needed to snap out of his current daydream and focus back in on reality.
"Sorry Yug, I guess my mind kind of wandered off there for a bit, huh?"
Nodding his head slowly, the shorter teen replied, "Yah I guess so. But anyway, back onto the topic we were discussing before. What is it that you wish to tell me?"
Joey shook his head in such a way that it looked as though he was attempting to dry off his hair after just coming out of the shower. "Yah, right, almost forgot about that for a minute."
"It's okay."
"Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about Yami and Tea…"
"What? Why? I'm okay with their relationship, really." Even though the blonde was blind to his friend's actions, it didn't take a genius to figure out how the spiky-haired teenager was acting. His free arm (the one he wasn't using to hold the phone) was waving about in mid-air as though he wished to end the current discussion immediately.
Joey raised a curious eyebrow. "You don't sound fine to me. Why are you acting so…" He couldn't say weird; it would make him sound as though he did not care about the feelings of his supposed best friend. Heartless. That was what Yugi would think of him if he finished his statement with the first word that had come to his mind. He couldn't risk that, not now and not ever.
"Why am I acting like what?" Curiousity was now starting to get the better of Yugi; he wanted to know just what was on Joey's mind and why he looked so nervous.
"Like…" He couldn't do it; no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't work up the courage to tell his best friend the truth. He didn't want to say anything and risk making the young King of Games upset, or even worse, depressed.
"Joey? Please, if you have something to tell me, tell me. I won't get upset, I promise. You're my best friend and there's nothing you can say that will offend me."
Joey took a moment to digest everything that Yugi had just said. Maybe he was right, maybe he really could tell him. After all, they had known each other for quite a few years now and there was nothing that they couldn't tell each other. Truthfulness among friends is much more important than worrying about future reactions, he had to admit that. So without any further thoughts about the present matter, Joey took a deep breath and let it out just as quickly. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, prepared to say exactly what was on his mind without any hesitation whatsoever. Yugi, on the other hand simply waited patiently to hear his blonde-haired friend's response.
"Well it's just that…I was just wondering why…um…why you have been acting so different lately…"
There was a brief moment of stunned silence before it was broken and replaced by words which, when joined together, formed that of Yugi's short, yet straight up reply.
"I…I know. I don't know what's come over me lately but I'd rather not discuss it. I just need to be alone for a while, to reflect on my thoughts, ya know?" Joey nodded his head as a way of showing that he understood before Yugi continued his speech. "I hope you don't mind…"
"It's okay, I understand. We all need time to be alone once in a while. Besides, whenever you're feeling better, maybe you can hang out with Tristan and I. We miss ya bud."
Yugi blushed upon hearing that comment. "Thanks Joey, that really means a lot to me."
"Not a problem."
"So, I'll talk to you later?"
"Yep, see ya!" and with that, both teens hung up the phone at the same time. Even though Joey's spirits were now dampened a little, he knew that Yugi being alone for a day or two was for the best. As much as he still wasn't completely sure why his best friend sounded so depressed, he wasn't about to start interrogating him with copious amounts of questions. That would definitely put too much stress on the young teen; he just needed to work everything out on his own. Once he did, life would hopefully get back to the way it once was…hopefully…
After his rather long phone conversation, Yugi decided to head upstairs to take a well-needed rest. He figured that it would help him comprehend the day's events and everything that had happened.
Upon reaching the top of the stairs, Yugi took a left and headed straight down the long and narrow hallway to his bedroom at the far end. Pushing the door open, he shuffled over towards his twin-sized bed and sat down. He put his head in his hands and sighed softly. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get the images of Yami and Tea out of his head. He simply wished that he and Yami could be together forever. If that wish were to come true, everything in his life would be perfect. Unfortunately, he knew that as long as Tea was around, that wasn't going to happen. His dreams were never going to come true so what's the point of even living? He played with that question over and over again in his mind yet couldn't find even one plausible answer.
Reaching over to his night side table, Yugi pulled open the drawer and took out his own personal pocketknife. It was quite old yet looked to be almost new; Joey had bought it for him a few years back for his birthday. However, the blonde was completely unaware of what his friend was planning to use it for…
Raising it slowly up to his arm, the blade withdrawn, he placed the cool metal object overtop of his wrist. Closing his eyes, he pulled the knife smoothly, yet quickly across his untainted skin. Blood now flowing freely out of his newly made wound, he did the same thing to his other wrist. Soon enough, the oozing red liquid was dripping everywhere, yet Yugi did not seem to care in the least. In fact, it almost seemed like he was enjoying the pain he was enduring. Everything seemed so clear, as if he was beginning to see a whole new side of things. However, that did not last long. Due to rapid blood loss, the young teen fell backwards onto his bed, drifting into the state of unconsciousness.
Downstairs, Yami had just walked in the door without a single clue as to what had just happened a few minutes before he had arrived.
"Yugi?" he called out.
No response.
"Yugi? Where are you? I'm home."
There was still no response.
Yami was growing worried, yet decided to check upstairs, thinking that his hikari may have decided seek solitude in his room. He knew that Yugi had been acting very much unlike himself lately and was always urging others to leave him alone.
Once he had climbed the very last stair, Yami made his way to that of Yugi's room. However, when he stepped inside, he was both shocked and horrified to see the sight before him. He took no hesitation in dialing 911 on his cell phone, praying that he was not too late.
About five minutes later, sirens could be heard just down the street…
Ramen Goddess: -gasps- What's going to happen now? (Don't worry I didn't kill Yugi. There is NO character death in this story!) Sorry to leave you all with a dreadfully evil cliffhanger but I thought that this would make the perfect opening for the epilogue that will hopefully be coming soon! But for now, don't forget to review! Luv ya all! Ja ne!
