"Oi mates, Wheatley here with another weekly update on the random events in Aperture Science," Wheatley greeted in one breath, "It took me a while to come up with that," he pointed out proudly. "Um, so anyway, let me introduce the cohost of the week… who should be here by now…"

He got off his bed and walked out of the door. The camera stared at the wall for a minute before voices could be heard from the hall.

"Well, you didn't give me a specific time to be here," Chell said as she walked in and sat down, "You didn't plan this out very well, did you?"

"I… well… oh, never mind…" Wheatley failed to counter, sitting beside her, "So, you all know this is Chell…"

"Hey," She greeted casually.

"Well… Let's move on to the first section," he said.

~The Random Event of the Week~

The camera showed the TV in the living area, which showed a bunch of brightly colored, cartoon ponies singing. It turned to look at the entire human cast of Average Life staring at it, captivated.

"So, one of the authoress's friends came over," Chell explained when the camera turned to her, "And now…" she gestured to the group watching the show.

"Spaceship is magic…" Space muttered, his eyes wide and unblinking.

"Everyone's just… completely brainwashed by this 'My Little Pony' business," Wheatley said from behind the camera, "Even Anger."

"Now I know how to control all of you," Glados commented, watching the others with a smirk.

The camera switched back.

~The Prank of the Week~

"It has, err, come to my attention that I need to remind some of you something," Wheatley began nervously, as if he was afraid the readers would jump through the camera and beat him up, "I said that the prank of the week would be something I do to someone's room, and I got pranks that… didn't involve people's rooms."

"We got requests for pranks involving the oven, the incinerator, and one about putting something over GLaDOS's optic… which is really not a good idea," Chell commented.

"So, I had to come up with the prank by myself again this week," Wheatley said.

"And by 'by himself' he means that he asked me to come up with it for him," Chell corrected.

"I didn't ask you to come up with it for me, I asked for ideas!" Wheatley countered.

"Yes, but you never came up with anything yourself," she replied.

He glared at the camera for a second before continuing, "Well, anyway, I thought about the 'throwing marshmallows' thing in the incinerator and it somehow became this."

"You mean I thought about the 'throwing marshmallows' thing."

"Whatever!"

The camera switched to a scene of a person's bedroom door.

"I'm Abraham De Lacy!" Rick's voice could be heard, "Guiseppe Casey! Thomas O'Ricky! O'Ricky the Adventure core!" He danced (quite badly) into the camera's view as he sang the last few lines. He took a moment to fix his hair before opening his door.

He stood there silently for a second while several bags of marshmallows with a few stray pieces tumbled out. He then bent down and picked up a bag and opened. He ate a marshmallow, shrugged, and entered his room casually, kicking aside knee-deep layer of bags that covered the floor as he shut the door and jumped on the bed.

"That was… anticlimactic," Wheatley commented when the scene switched back to him.

"Obviously, the usual response to finding your room full of marshmallows is to start eating them," Chell said sarcastically.

"Well then," he said, "Moving on."

~The Dare of the Week~

"The dare that I chose for this week," he began, "Was to jump into a full swimming pool full of Repulsion Gel."

"Now, that was fun," his cohost commented.

"Well, let's roll the clip."

The scene switched and showed Wheatley nervously watching a pipe slowly fill a pool with the blue gel.

"So… no one's really sure what's going to happen, not even GLaDOS," he said nervously.

"Should be interesting," Chell chuckled evilly from behind the camera.

He glared at her for a second before only being able to come up with "Shut up."

The pool was filled, and the pipe shut off.

"Here goes nothing," he said, jumping in feet first.

The gel bent down without breaking its surface tension, making a hole in its surface with him almost completely buried in it. He screamed like a man as it suddenly flung him upward, the liquid rippling upwards after him like slow-motion water when something falls in it. He struck the surface again, this time on his back, and the gel receded below him and flung him up again just as before, though with less force. He continued to scream as the process continued, even though the momentum lessened with each bounce. Finally, he came to a stop.

"You know, this actually feels pretty nice," he said, laying on it like it was a mattress.

"Just remember that it doesn't like the human skeleton," his cohost reminded him.

"Oh! I'll just get out then," He said, trying to contain his fear. However, the bouncing of the gel as he tried to stand left him in the same position he started in. "Apparently not," he muttered.

Rather than trying to stand, he awkwardly bounced and rolled over to the pool's edge and clambered out.

~Questions of the Week~

"Now we have the questions of the week," Wheatley announced, "You have to answer them too, by the way," he told Chell.

Q 1: What is GLaDOS's neurotoxin made of?

"Death and despair," he answered firmly.

"Oh, really?" she laughed.

"Well? Say what you think it is."

"The… tears of small children," she replied with a shrug.

Q 2: Does Morality ever do anything interesting?

"She breaks up fights, she draws sometimes, she reads, she can bake cookies…" Wheatley listed.

"So yeah, nothing interesting," Chell concluded.

Q 3: Do you actually know who Aristotle is?

"Of course I do!" he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, "He's the guy who built the Roman Empire with the Navi party!"

"…What?" she demanded.

Q 4: What is your favorite type of pony?

"The… magical kind that prances through fields of flowers," he improvised, clearly not sure at all what he was talking about.

"The kind that breaths fire," she answered with more confidence.

"Ponies can't breath fire!" he countered.

"They can if they're magical!" she replied.

Q 5: Does pranking GLaDOS's chamber count as pranking someone's room?

Wheatley was silent.

"Are you going to answer?" Chell asked with a grin.

"Well…" he sighed, "You know what? Yes, yes it does count but… please… no…"

"You do realize you are going to have to at some point now, right?" she stated.

"…Yes."

~The Meme of the Week~

"So, for the meme of the week, we have-" Wheatley was interrupted by a small blue glowing ball swirling around his head.

"Hello? Hey! Listen!" it said in an annoying, high-pitched voice. He swatted at it and it flew out of sight.

"Sorry about that, mates," he said, "This weeks meme i-"

"Hey! Hey, listen! Hey! Hey! Listen!" The little thing came back and buzzed around the room, much to Wheatley's annoyance and Chell's amusement.

"Ugh," he growled when it finally went away. "Now. This week's meme…"

"Watch out!" said the blue thing. A storage cube flew into the room and nearly hit him.

He glared at the cube for a second before standing up. "You know what? Whatever. Show's over guys, see you next time."

He left the room, leaving the cube on the floor. The blue orb came back and floated over his bed.

"Good job," Chell told it, holding her hand out for a fist bump.

The fairy replied by bumping into her fist.

A/N: Yes, it's later than I thought it was going to be, but homework was being mean.

Also, I'm still willing to do requests if you guys have any. I'm fresh out of plot bunnies. They all ran away.

And yes, I know I shouldn't have involved a Disney parody twice in a row, but it seemed to fit so well… and Rick can't parody as well as Space and Curiosity.