"I needed to tell you in person. I made you come today, because his funeral is going to be in the morning. And I know... You'd want to be there. I called Akira from his work in Dubai because..." My father's voice trailed as the expression on my face showed horror. Akira had come to make sure... I was going to be okay.
"No." Was all my mouth could manage. Akira's hand rested on my shoulder. Father's eyes in disarray...All these little things, I couldn't control the fear they brought to me anymore. The word came out of my mouth again and again, until my body trembled to the ground. Palms covered my face, while my whole body was curled to my knees. No, no, no... I muttered it plenty more, letting it becoming less and less recognizable with tears mixing in.
When I finally found the ability to say anything else, what I said wasn't a word. It was a name. "Yuki." My voice broke over the second syllable, so terrified of its weight. I said it again, this time allowing myself to see him. That bright smile, that... fucking clutz...
"Yuki..."
I'm not sure how long my father and Akira watched me from above as I sobbed into my hands. Curled up in a position I knew to be safe. But at some point, Akira pried my hands away as I screamed with all my might. Fingers grasped at his wrists, scratching even. Akira only continued to pull me up, acting as if I wasn't even yelling. He latched himself onto me, before I fell... legs too weak to stand. If I could relive that, I only wish to remember his face. Maybe he could handle me, but I have a feeling his expression broke somewhere... not being able to see me like that. Screaming in resistance. So helpless. Raw.
"Natsuki." He finally said my name. I resisted more, legs kicking at his shins. My wrists trembling under his strength.
"Let go of m-me!" My face pressed away, not wanting to see his eyes.
"Natsuki, look at me!" As his voice raised, my crying subsided. Teeth grinding trying to hold myself in. When I looked over he was stern... and I saw nothing else. "I'm going to take you into your room." He said, a warning I guess, before he threw me over his shoulders.
"You're going to die of heat in those." I was laying on my bed, looking up at the ceiling. My mind was blank. I tuned him out as he began to unbutton my coat, and slip my shoes off. The last thing he took off was my scarf. But I can't remember any more than that. He said I can't remember it because of the shock. Shock... because of... Yuki? How could I have been that wrecked..."Please." Akira spoke, but I never responded. Eventually everything shut down completely, my body rested.
