Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Kubo-sama would kill me
Title: Canon
Warnings: Suggestive dialogue, Spoilers (if not current with manga)
"…Ichigo…ah…"
"Mmm?"
"I-Ichigo, we should…we should…ohh…"
"Hmm?"
"Mmm…stop for a second. We should stop."
"Eh?"
"Dammit don't try licking me like that! No means no!"
"Ouch! What the hell Rukia?! I thought you liked it when I-"
"Idiot, it's not about that! This just isn't a good spot. Someone could see."
"Che, no way Rukia. No one's gonna find out."
"I said quit it! Get your hand outta there! What if your sisters come by?"
"Then they'll run away and pretend they didn't see anything."
"What if your father sees us?"
"Then we'll get congratulations. Geez, are you trying to get me out of the mood?"
"I thought that was clear when I started hitting you."
"Not really…I mean remember that time-"
"Stop it! Alright, what if Nii-sama catches us?"
"I'm way past the point of caring about him. Come on Rukia…"
"Ah! Oh that's not f-f-fair…now you're ch-cheating..mmm…"
"Ha…see…"
"Mmm."
"You worry too much. Anyone comes by, I'll just kick their ass until they scram."
"What about Ku-"
"WHAT?! What are you two doing?!"
"AH! Kubo-sama?!"
"T-this isn't what it looks like!"
"Are you two…CANON?!"
"NO!"
"No Kubo-sama of course not! Ichigo was just-"
"You know how I feel about that! Didn't you learn anything from Kaien, or Isshin, or Byakuya?!"
"W-wait, you got it all wrong sir!"
"Did you not just see what happened to Ulquiorra when he got too handsy?!"
"Yes! I mean no! I mean we weren't-"
"Oh you are soooo dying tragically."
"W-wait! You can't kill me! I'm the hero!"
"Ichigo!"
"OW! I didn't mean that he should kill you, you're the heroine, you're irreplaceable!"
"Idiot! Do you know how tired I am of taking long vacations?! Tell him nothing's going on!"
"Nothing's going on!"
"Like I'm going to believe you now!"
"Really Kubo-sama! Ichigo and I are just nakama!"
"I can't ignore where I just saw his tongue! That's not very platonic!"
"Do something Ichigo!"
"Right uh…umm….I…I like Inoue!"
"Eh?"
"That's right! I'm actually…uh…having feelings for Inoue now. That last spread with the bathing suits, wow, it really got the blood boiling you know."
"…I don't believe you."
"NO! Really! I mean, I'm so confused…uh about stuff."
"Hmphf. So how do you feel about Rukia? She was in the spread too."
"Uh, I could go either way you know. Nothing's crystal. Right Rukia?"
"Right? Oh right! Yes! I'm also on the fence. In fact I've been spending more time with Renji and feelings could definitely develop."
"Hmm…Really?"
"Absolutely! Both of us are totally confused about our feelings."
"Yeah, we're so far away from being canon."
"Canon? Us? No way Kubo-sama!"
"…I don't know…you two were just…that seems pretty indicative of couple behavior…"
"That is…uh...this is…an omake!"
"Yeah yeah! A practice omake for one of Kon's wild fantasies."
"We were just practicing! I mean, omakes are never serious right Ichigo?"
"Ha! Yeah! Right Rukia!"
"Well…okay…heh…I guess that is pretty funny. I'll think about it."
"Great idea Kubo-sama!"
"Yeah, just as long as you two aren't canon. Cause then I'd have to kill you…"
"…Ha…ha…"
"H-hai Kubo-sama…"
"I'll start the sketches! I'll bet Kon'll love it. I'll see you crazy kids later!"
"…"
"Is he gone?"
"I told you to stop didn't I? This is why you should always do what I say, when I say it. Fool."
"Shut up Rukia…That stupid bastard…just because he's got the worst case of blue balls he's gotta-"
"I heard that!"
"Dammit!"
"No, he didn't say anything! Kubo-sama please don't do anything rash!"
"Oh ho ho, that's IT! I'm bringing Don Kanonji back!"
"Noooo!"
AN: I think this is my favorite. This was written right after poor Ulqui bit the dust. Ouch too soon Jade, too soon.
Just to reiterate, these one-shots are not replacing Indefinitely(if you care XD) they're just to keep me writing when I've smacked into a wall. Thank you for reading!
EDIT: I know this came out quickly, but I don't want to get anyone's hopes up that updates will be daily. Because they won't. sorry!
