They could have gone back to Sam's but Cas lived closer and he knew he had a long night ahead of him.

He let Dean into his tiny flat. It was old but meticulously clean. The couch a ratty green and the floors 70's brown.

"I thought nurses got paid better than this," Dean said dropping down onto the couch before shifting in discomfort as he felt just how broken it was.

"I'm secretly a millionaire," Cas told him rooting through the fridge for something to eat. He hadn't got much left, enough for pasta and cheese that was all. "Are you hungry?"

Dean frowned. "No," he said as if confused by himself. "I just want to sleep."

"You have a mild concussion. I'll have to wake you up every now and then throughout the night."

Dean groaned. "I just want sleep."

"If you want to live to see the morning then you won't bitch when I wake you."

Dean agreed with a huff.

"So you got a TV?"

"No."

"Dude you're weird."

Cas shrugged. It wasn't like he had time for TV anyway, not that he could afford one. "You were going to sleep remember?"

"Yeah, um, you got a spare bed or is it the couch for the night?"

Cas threw the ingredients for his dinner onto the small work surface. "You can have the bed."

"Na man I don't want to..."

"It's quite alright. I won't be sleeping much anyway."

Dean stood and Cas showed him to his bedroom. Like everything in his apartment it was small, neat, old with barely any clutter. Dean fell immediately onto the used sheets and Cas supposed he didn't care if they were changed or not.

"Do I have to sleep all night in this head thing?"

"Yes."


Dean was a grumpy sleeper and Cas had to fight him awake every time he visited in the night. By morning they were both fed up and tired, but Dean was still fine and so Cas took it as a win.

They sat and drunk instant coffee at the breakfast bar that split Castiel's kitchen from his lounge. It was early and both of them were feeling rough.

"Look how about we go out and get some real stuff," Dean said after a few sips. "This is doing nothing for me."

Cas didn't want to tell the man he couldn't because he didn't even want to waste the price of a cup of coffee so he levelled his best scowl at Dean.

"My treat. As a thanks and all."

Cas sighed and gave up. He was a rare coffee drinker because the stuff was extortionate but he loved the bitter drink almost as much as he loved expensive teas and anything sweet.

"Very well."

"One question though, do you ever change out of those scrubs?"

"They're clean I assure you."

"Not my point man."

Cas just shrugged and got his shoes.

Sam called when they'd reached the coffee shop. "Cas have you seen Dean?"

"Yes, he's here."

"Oh thank god. He's not answering his phone. I didn't want to call you too early but I was worried after last night."

Dean reached for the phone and Cas batted his hand away. "He left all his things in his car."

"Typical Dean. He stay with you?"

Cas wasn't sure how to tell Sam about Dean's accident. Dean was snatching for the phone again so he handed it over listening quietly as Dean told Sam about the night before.

"Dean!" Cas could hear Sam's shout across the table. "You didn't say! You hit your head! You could have passed out by the side of the road!"

"Eh you have things to do," Dean shrugged. "And Cas was there."

"Put him on."

Dean smiled apologetically as Cas took the phone. "Sam?"

"I want you to punch my dumbass brother in the nose for me right now. Don't hold back, hit him hard."

"Sam he's fine."

"He's an idiot."

Cas couldn't disagree with that. Especially when said idiot was grinning at him stupidly across the table.

Cas said goodbye, promised to meet Sam with Dean later and hung up.

"He says to punch you."

Dean opened his arms wide. "Lay it on me." He still hadn't taken the ridiculous head bandage off, his hair sticking up at stupid angles. Cas took pity on the man then, reaching across to undo the bandage. Dean leant forward a bit but then laughed to himself.

"What?"

"Nothing man, it's nothing."

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"It wasn't that. Believe me it wasn't." Dean gave a deep, self-conscious blow from puffed cheeks and pursed cheeks. "How's it look?"

Truthfully, a mess. Dean's hair was crusted with blood. The sutures were small and neat but they were still obvious and the cut jagged and puffy. The haematoma had dispersed overnight under the compression so at least Dean didn't have an egg on his head but it had left a dark purple bruise that covered the top right of his forehead.

"Like you were in a car accident."

"Just the look I was going for."

"Perhaps we shouldn't have done this in a cafe."

"Na man it's cool, that bandage was killing me. Itchy." To prove it he ran his hands over the back of his head, worsening his already messy hair. The movement stretched his broad chest and Cas caught himself staring yet again. He wasn't sure what it was about this man but he kept forgetting himself. "I look ridiculous either way so..." He shrugged and grinned, eyes sparkling in the artificial light.

He did look ridiculous, eyes tired, hair a state, clothes rumpled. Cas though was still staring. He was still enthralled by the way Dean's tongue came out to lick the rim of his coffee mug.

"Yes," Cas attempted to cover himself, shaking his head to get the images out of his mind. He did not need to be thinking about the pink of Dean's tongue then.

When he looked back Dean was still rubbing at his hair. "Remind me never to ask you when I need to be lied to."

Cas frowned which caused Dean to laugh.

"Wow, over honest. Could you even lie to me Cas?"

Dean looked self-satisfied, like he'd just worked something important out.

"Yes."

Dean laughs all the more. "See. You couldn't even lie about that."

"Doesn't that make it a lie?"

"There's the possibility. So you didn't lie."

Cas sighed which Dean found way too amusing.

"Just finish your coffee then we'll ring a tow company about your car."

Dean's face fell. "Oh shit my baby!" He almost dropped his coffee mug. "I forgot about her. How could I forget my girl?"

Cas wasn't sure what to say. This was all an overreaction in his mind but Dean didn't seem to be playing around.

"And I'm not calling a tow company. I can fix her up now I've got some light. Probably could have done it last night if we'd angled your lights properly, but there was the whole head injury thing..."

"And it was not safe for you to be working with heavy machinery whilst there was the possibility of a concussion."

"Yeah whatever Cas, but she's been out alone in the middle of nowhere by herself all night." He stilled and averted his eyes. Cas wondered why he was suddenly shy. He hadn't pegged Dean Winchester as one to ever worry about anything. "I'll call a cab out there and fix her up. We've still got a few hours before meeting Sam."

Cas wasn't sure why he did it, he didn't really have the money for extra gas and he was exhausted to his bones but he shrugged to himself and offered Dean a lift.

"Na man, it's cool. You've already done too much for me."

"It's no problem. I would like to... make sure you don't injure yourself."

"Gees thanks for the vote of confidence Cas."

"You almost got crushed last night by that car."

Dean huffed but didn't argue.


Dean didn't get crushed by the car.

In the daylight he was a quick and sure mechanic, finding where the tire nut had gotten stuck and removing it with a few tough smacks of his mallet.

Cas just watched not really understanding why Dean took so long to just change a tire. He had gotten distracted underneath and Cas guessed he was checking over the rest of his car.

It didn't bother Cas though, in fact it gave him more of a chance to check Dean out. He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't entirely too distracted by the way Dean's top rode up to expose the line of his hips. Cas let himself watch. As long as he was honest with himself and accepted it could go no further than quick peeks while Dean was otherwise occupied then he was content.

"Cas you got the wrench out there?"

"No. I have none of your tools Dean."

The Winchester slid out from under the car awkwardly, highway dust covering his black t-shirt.

He gave Cas a disbelieving look before pointed to the tools laid out beside the car.

"Oh," Cas suddenly understood. Dean wanted him to hand him the wrench. He stood and bent to look at the variety of metal. "Which one?"

Dean just sighed and reached over to pick it up himself now he was no longer under the car anyway.

"Cars aren't my thing," Cas explained feeling a little embarrassed.

Dean grunted as he slid back under the way, wiggling his hips and shoulders. Cas resolutely bit down on the thoughts that flooded his mind. Dean Winchester was a jerk he reminded himself. He'd shouted when they first met, been grumpy all through the night and had just grunted when Cas hadn't known which wrench he'd wanted.

Except he'd also apologised. And had a head injury. And brought Cas coffee.

Cas decided it was too early to make up his mind on the strange man.

When Dean emerged again he busied himself letting the car down and clearing away his tools. Cas continued to watch him but he couldn't shake the feeling that Dean was annoyed. It made Cas angry in turn, the feeling unusual and tight in his chest.

He got tired, he snapped at people because he was having a hard day, but he rarely got angry. Rarely did anyone push him to such feeling.

Dean Winchester had a knack.

"Do you still require for me to come and meet Sam with you?" Cas asked frostily.

Dean looked up surprised.

"I, um, I don't need you to, but... Sam's your friend right?"

"I find I am exhausted."

Dean tried an obviously forced smile. After getting to know his usual honest and open grins it looked all the more fake. "You and me both."

Cas clenched his jaw. He wanted to stay angry.

"You should get some rest yourself."

"Are you going to wake me up every 5 minutes if I do?"

It was a tease but Cas was not in the mood to pick up those little social cues that so easily eluded him.

"No Dean. I am going to go get some sleep myself."

He turned, but felt a hand slide around his wrist immediately.

"You ok?"

And because Cas couldn't lie he shook his head. "Please give Sam my apologies."

Dean finally let go of him. There was a broken look in his eyes but Cas ignored it. "Sure man. And thanks. For everything. I'll see you round."

Cas didn't say yes.


Cas was getting used to the pen tapping.

"Yes Sam?"

"Dean said to thank you for looking out for him the other night."

"He already thanked me himself."

"Yeah I know but..."

Cas looked up at his sort of friend and waited. Sam looked like he was wrestling with himself, unsure of what to say or how he wanted to say it.

"Out with it."

Sam glared at him. He had a way of it when he put his mind to it.

"What... what exactly... happened? Between you and Dean? I mean I haven't seen my brother in seven years but I think..." Sam let off, embarrassment flooding his features.

Cas though didn't understand. "Happened? Well I picked him up, he shouted at me because I wasn't you so I set him straight as to your job being important and that you'd made arrangements. He calmed and I took him to the ER, sutured his wound and applied a dressing. The doctor cleared him to leave if he had somebody to stay with and since you would be busy all night I agreed to let him stay at mine. He was angered I kept waking him up but he survived the night so should be thankful."

He glanced at Sam then and saw the psychiatrist's mouth was open.

"What?"

"Nothing, go on."

"We went out for coffee, because I only have instant in my apartment. Then I reminded Dean about his car so we went to fix it, or more rightly Dean fixed it and I watched. Whereupon I got tired and decided to go home since Dean had transport of his own."

It wasn't a lie. He'd missed the part where he'd become angry at Dean for no reason but he was blaming that on his tiredness.

"That's all?"

Cas gave Sam a curious look not understanding where the younger Winchester was going with the conversation.

"Explain Sam, please."

"I just... You know what, never mind. Dean's weird. We probably just need to get used to each other again."

"That seems likely."

Sam leant forward over the lip of the raised section of the desk to where Cas was writing below. "Will you come out for drinks tonight? I was going to meet Dean when I finished but I could hang around till your shift is done."

And because it was Sam Cas couldn't find a reason to not go.

He finished his shift to find Sam by his car waiting. "Dean was going to pick me up, but I told him I'd meet him at the bar," he explained.

"That makes sense," Castiel answered getting in and unlocking the passenger door.

"You know Dean's an awesome mechanic on the side," Sam said looking around the old interior of the mustang. "He could probably fix your car up for you if you wanted."

Cas thought of how much it would cost to get the old thing running smoothly again and almost choked up at how beyond him it was. He loved the car. The old, stupidly expensive and broken car. It was the one thing his dad had given him. All he'd left Cas with was bad memories, worse debt and a '67 mustang.

"No thank you."

"Dude it could be spectacular. I think Dean would pay you to let him work on this car."

"I would charge him $5 hour."

"I'll run it by him later. But seriously, I never had you pegged for a muscle car kinda guy."

"It was my fathers."

"Oh, yeah? Dean's Impala used to belong to our dad. Before he died. I think that's why Dean's so attached."

Cas gripped the wheel. The leather was cracked and shiny from the years of hands that had gripped it.

"I... cannot sell this car, though it is a significant burden. I do not believe I had the same relationship with my father as Dean did with his, but this car was the one thing he gave me worth having."

He didn't want to say any more. He didn't want to tell Sam how the car was the one thing that he'd managed to get from his father, the one thing that wasn't detrimental to his life. He held it with both hands and refused to let go because it was the trophy of his abusive childhood, his prize for surviving. In the battle between his him and his father just living to get out was a win. The mustang was a symbol of that.

Sam sensed the turmoil within Cas and said no more. Either that or he saw the way Cas's hands were so tight on the wheel his knuckles had gone white, the way he clenched his jaw.

They pulled into the parking lot of the Roadhouse and Sam lead Cas inside.

Dean was already sitting at the bar nursing a pint. Cas had to stop and regain himself. Dean was wearing a thin grey tee that showed every muscle in his back as plain as if he were naked. There was a smudge of oil just under his right ear from where he'd been fixing his car again and had rubbed his neck.

He took the second, before moving to sit the other side of Sam.

"Good evening Dean."

"Hey Cas."

It was awkward and Cas had no idea why. Sam was always so at ease but with Dean he was overly careful and trying to impress. Dean wasn't sure how to react to Sam. Cas could see he wanted to tease, wanted to just act like they were brothers and that the past seven years hadn't happened. Cas was the stranger and the last time he'd seen Dean hadn't exactly ended perfectly. That and he was wound up like a jack in the box with the tension he was feeling because of his overt attraction to the new man.

Alcohol loosened the bothers with a few well-placed prompts from Cas. They began to banter, call each other names and attempt to embarrass each other. Cas could see this was a good thing, this was how the brothers interacted.

A less good thing was how Dean had placed a jack and coke in front of Cas and practically ordered him to drink it. He let Cas order something slightly easier to palate the next time, but had ignored Cas when he said he needed to drive home.

"Cab," was Dean's grinning reply. "We'll drop you off on the way since Sammy has to live a thousand miles from anywhere."

"I don't live 1000 miles from anywhere. I live in a nice neighbourhood."

"You have a fucking little white picket fence," Dean laughed almost spilling his pint on Castiel's scrub trousers. He apologised quickly, wiping the non-existent patch on Cas's knee. Cas let him, biting his cheeks against the feeling of strong warm fingers.

"Though I guess it could be worse." Dean levelled a look in Castiel's direction.

Cas glared back at him.

"Cas has vinyl flooring."

"It's rented," Cas said trying to be nonchalant.

"Not an excuse. Your landlord sucks."

"That's why the rent is so cheap."

Cas looked down, realising Dean still hadn't removed his hand from his knee.

"Which reminds me," Sam broke in and Dean pulled back to engage his brother. "Cas has a mustang in need of some serious work. He said he'd let you fix it up."

Cas sighed and wished things were different. "I can't afford that sort of expenditure."

Dean frowned for a moment before shrugging it off and focussing on the most important thing to him. "It's tempting," he mused. "That car could be something special. Put it all fixed up next to my baby and I might just pass out of awesomeness."

Cas shook his head. "But really Dean, no. I couldn't afford even the parts."

"I'll see what I can find, call in a few favours."

"Dean..."

"Cas," Dean bit back holding the man's eyes with a heavy stare. "She deserves it."

Cas suddenly became aware of how Dean was leaning in closer and Sam had disappeared. He was alone, with a drunk and open Dean Winchester. The more the man spoke the more Cas was convinced he was a jerk, until he did something like this.

"Maybe I should just sell it to someone who can take proper care of it."

"No! No! Cas we're gonna make her beautiful. You won't even recognise her when we're done."

And for a moment Cas let himself believe.

"Dean it's getting late. We should push off. I've got work tomorrow." Sam had appeared at Castiel's shoulder and was yawning widely.

"Why don't you push off. Me and Cas were having more fun without you anyway," Dean joked.

Cas felt his cheeks heat. "No, I think I should be leaving as well."

He followed Sam out to get a cab, Dean moodily dragging his feet after them.

"Sorry the sasquatch cut the night short," Dean smiled as they pulled up at Cas's apartment. Sam was almost asleep in the front seat. "We'll catch up soon yeah?"


It was typical that when Dean did catch up he was in the sluice cleaning shit off a commode, plastic apron hanging off his neck.

"You know I always had a thing for the whole hot-nurse gettup. Now..."

Cas glared at him from where he was aware the wipe in his hand wasn't clean. He had a sudden urge to fling it at Dean and his movie star grin.

"Scrubs?" Dean shrugged. "Not as hot as those little white dresses."

"Dean that was not nursing attire, that was a carry on film."

Dean laughed as Cas finished fitting the commode back together and stripped the apron and gloves. He shoved past with his elbows to get to the sink.

"Might be something to be said for scrubs though," Dean almost whispered and Cas almost gave himself whiplash turning to try and glean exactly what Dean had meant. Dean was looking at him, face blank but there was nothing there to confirm or deny Castiel's thoughts.

"Meaning?"

"More comfortable," Dean said lamely and Cas wondered if he was covering himself. Dean would have made a joke, he always did, it was almost pathological with the man. Maybe he had made a joke and Cas just wasn't getting it. It was likely. Cas felt his cheeks pink.

"Yes they are," he replied needing to say something, anything. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to pick up Sam but he's running late - again." Dean shrugged off his annoyance, trying to act like it didn't bother him. "Thought I'd come say hi."

Cas was unsure exactly why Dean felt the need to say hi. They didn't know each other that well, but he supposed he was the only people Dean did know in the city other than Sam.

"Hello," Cas said politely. He didn't want to be rude to the man, but he was still confused and annoyed by his reaction to Dean. Part of him wanted to push Dean out the door and tell him never to come back. The other part... He quashed the thought before he got mental images that would disrupt his work all night long.

"Do you fancy a coffee? My treat."

"I'm working Dean."

"Yeah I know, but, do you get a break?"

Cas sighed at himself for even considering it. Yes, he did have a break coming up. It was a little early but everyone was settled and safe. He wasn't sure he wanted to waste what little down time he got at night with Dean, but at the same time he just absolutely did.

"Give me a minute to tell the others."

When he'd done his ears were burning and there were five grinning nurses and auxiliaries watching him leave with Dean.

"I have half an hour," he told Dean strictly.

"Cool. The restaurant still open?"

"Yes."

He was aware he was being blunt but the only other option was to curl himself around Dean like a cat. He chastised himself for being so deluded. Dean had shown no interest in him past friendship. He was also arrogant, rude and they argued constantly. No way were they ever going to be more than overly hostile acquaintances. Cas did not date assholes.

Dean brought them two black coffees and watched as Cas poured sugar after sugar into his. "You're kidding me right?"

Cas didn't look happy, but he continued to pour in more sugar.

"Four? Five?"

"We all have our vices."

"Yours being diabetes?" Still Dean rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a bag of Fruittella. He pushed them across to Cas who couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "Man you're so easy. I'll have to remember this."

"Sam already uses my sweet tooth against me," Cas griped as he pulled the wrapper off one of the fruit sweets.

"Well it's not like you have any other faults," Dean said flippantly. It made Cas's heart stop, the ease of the compliment. He stayed deathly still as he wondered whether Dean had realised what he'd said.

Dean took a sweet and picked at the wrapping without actually peeling it off. Slowly a blush came to his cheeks before he rather clunkily changed the subject.

"I'm not an idiot, you know? I know I've come across as a total jackass since I met you but that's not me. I'm an alright guy really. I just... this whole moving thing. And Sammy being different but still Sammy. I don't know what to do with him. He's my brother but he's acting like I'll blow a top if he says the wrong thing. And then there's you... I don't know how to act around you. I feel like I'm getting everything wrong."

Cas let Dean finish, till the man wound down and seemed to slump. It was a big speech for Dean. Cas guessed he didn't usually say such blatantly emotional things.

"I understand," Cas begun. "Moving is difficult, but you have a reason to make it work and get to know the area. Time Dean, give it time. Sam is scared that you've grown apart. He wants this to work out as much as you do. I think you made big progress in the bar last night."

"Yeah?"

"I do. He loves you a lot Dean. It will take time but I think if you persevere then you will be ok. As for you being a jackass I am withholding judgement for now. You have had your reasons."

"And what about you?"

"Me? Nobody really knows how to act around me. Do not think you are alone in that Dean. For some reason people like me, but I have few friends because I am awkward to be around and do not know how to react in social situations, such as this. People get "weirded out" by me pretty quickly when they know me better than an acquaintance or colleague."

"I'm not "weirded out"."

"Give it time."

"I will."

Coffee finished Cas realised their stilted and difficult conversation had actually taken longer than he'd thought.

"I must return to work."

Dean cleared away the mugs and followed Cas out.

"So you'll come out with me and Sam again? It'd be cool and I need to get your properly drunk this time."

Cas groaned. "No Dean. I do not do drunk."

They both stopped as they heard a thump behind them. Cas ran when he saw the body lying on the hard floor a few doors down, Dean hot on his heels.

The man was laid on his back, eyes closed. Castiel tried to keep himself calm as he checked to see if the man was breathing, placing his fingers to his neck at the same time.

"Dean," he said with all the force and assurance of knowing how easily people fell apart in these situations. He spoke as he tipped the man's head back, checked his airway, nothing. "Run and get me the defibrillator, the red box on the wall outside the restaurant. Then go back to the red phone and call 2222, cardiac arrest level 2, area J. Go now."

He had already moved to the man's chest, ripped open his shirt to begin compressions. Hard and fast, locking his elbows and linking his hands together. Dean was back almost instantly, Cas grateful for the facemask that was kept with the defib. He fitted it over the man's mouth, head tilted back, tight seal. Two breaths, don't overinflate the lungs. He ripped open the box and fitted the sticky pads, watching as the screen cycled through its analysis. Nothing, back to compressions.

Dean was back within a minute. "What can I do?"

"Mask," Cas huffed. He was getting nothing from the man. He counted out his last three compressions hoping Dean knew it to be his cue.

The Winchester fumbled with the mask as he tried to fit it, Cas had to help him fit his hands, get the tilt so the man's airway was open.

"Not too hard."

The breaths were good, into the lungs not the stomach and Cas got back to compressions.

It was another two rounds until the machine spoke up, telling them both to back off so it could analyse the man's rhythm.

"Cas?" Dean asked his voice shaking.

"You're doing well Dean," he promised as the machine confirmed to keep going.

"Help's coming," Dean told him, trying to return the comfort.

"I know." Cas hated the feeling in his arms, the pressure on the back of his hand but he refused to give up or slow down.

"Let me take over," Dean said positioning himself opposite. Cas agreed with a nod, arms shaking as he ended his cycle and moved to the mask.

Dean had good positioning, Cas coached him through the compressions, it was always easier when there was someone to let you know if you were slowing down or not using enough force.

Then the godsend of footsteps running crept into earshot and Cas almost sagged in relief.

"Here come the cavalry," Dean grinned as he huffed.

He continued as the team arrived and Cas explained the situation. Then he stood back, bringing Dean with him.

Dean was shaking, hands trembling and so he shook out his arms and took deep breaths.

"That was... interesting."

"You did very well."

"Ha. Just remind me to take you out to a coffee house next time instead."

They stood back and watched as the team continued compressions, got lines in and took off bloods. IV's were squeezed in by hand, adrenaline given.

Dean nudged Cas and pointed so Cas explained the I-gel airway being inserted. He explained the fluids going in, the results on the blood gas that somehow ended up in his hand after the team had finished with it. Dean listened silently through it all, occasionally probing for more information.

It wasn't to be though and Dean gripped Castiel's wrist tightly as the registrar stepped back and shook his head, asking the team if they were all in agreement.

Cas pulled Dean away then.

"But why?"

"Dean he was dead."

"But they could have..."

"Not they couldn't have. Sometimes, a lot of the time, we can't."

Dean bit down on his cheeks hard and refused to look at Cas. The nurse gently pulled him away, stroking a hand over his shoulder.

"Dean?"

"See why I didn't become a doctor like Sammy, or a nurse like you."

"It's not all like this Dean."

He said his name again, trying to bring Dean back to him. The man was deeply caring, warm but brash. Cas was beginning to understand Dean Winchester better.

"How can you stand it?"

"Because yes sometimes we lose. Many times though we win. Dean look at me." He pulled Dean round, holding both his hands. "Dean."

"Yeah Cas. I get it. I just... I wish we could have saved him."

"We gave him a chance."

"Maybe if I'd had been trained..."

"No. Do not put this on yourself. You did perfectly."

He moved a hand to grasp the collar at Dean's shoulder, pulling him in so he couldn't look away.

Dean's eyes opened wide and he made a small gasp.

"Dean?"

"It's just every time you lean in I think you're going to kiss me and I'm always sort of disappointed when you don't."

Cas let go then, his hand slipped away and Dean stepped back embarrassed.

"Anyway, your break finished half hour ago. You should get back to work."

He grinned wide and false, disappearing with a breezy merriment that showed more of his discomfort than running away scared ever could have.


Editing part 3 right now so it should be with you soon!

Enjoy