Substitute Soul: Divergence

Chapter 1

Flashback

"Brother! Brother, please!"

"Al…" Edward Elric groaned, forcing himself to sit his aching body upright in the face of his younger brother's urgent shouting. He squinted his golden eyes open through the pain tearing through him, taking in the absolute absence of color where there had once been an abundance of blood red. A deep seated panic gripped him in denial of what he knew had just happened. No, no PLEASE…But there was no denying that not a drop of red water remained to light the cavernous room in Lab Five. Blood sluggishly rushed in the young man's ears as he looked to the center of the large despicable transmutation circle he had helped create. There, sitting innocuously in the middle of the room, was the Philosopher's Stone, the sinful draw, the holy grail he thought would make everything right again, would fix his sins…But would only end up destroying his soul for good. It gleamed red, the only color in the suddenly dim and lifeless surroundings. Agony pounded in the grievous wound in his side as well as the gaping wound in his heart. He had done this…all those people…

That train of thought was blown from his mind as a dark figure fell to its knees behind the stone.

Edward's stomach plummeted through the floor. Alex…his adopted brother, and one half of his ultimate failure.

Alex Elric stared blankly ahead with agonized red eyes, once such a vibrant green, now reflecting the gleam of the stone sitting before him and the absolute pain that had become his soul. Tears streamed down his young face, and his mouth hung open in complete shock, shoulders slumped, defeated. What had that bastard Truth shown him to put such an expression on his face? "Alex..?" Ed whispered, reaching out with one weak hand. His vision flickered, but he forced himself to stay awake as his wounds sapped his strength and stole the breath from his lungs.

Soft footsteps announced that they were not alone, and three figures emerged from the gloom. Lust, Envy and Gluttony, the Homunculi who orchestrated this very moment, holding the three Elrics by the strings since the fucking beginning, stood beside Alex's huddled form predatorily, staring down coldly at the barely conscious alchemist.

"Thank you, Edward," Lust said. She bent down and picked up the magenta bead with delicate fingers, long raven hair sliding over bared, slim shoulders. The tormentress moved behind Alex and knelt at his back gracefully, wrapping one gloved arm around his middle and pulling him against her as the other two watched on, the gleam of insane possessiveness in her eyes.

"Stop it!" Alphonse screamed from somewhere in the dark, strange echoed voice muted to the beleaguered and panicking blonde's ears. Edward tried as hard as he could to crawl forward, driven to desperation, but he couldn't move anymore…

Lust ignored them both and held the stone before a trembling Alex. The shocked Elric seemed to come to, red eyes snapping into focus from the depths they had been, but his tears only fell harder as he gazed down at the stone before him. "Please…don't do this…let me die," he pleaded in a voice so very similar to Edwards and so heartbroken that it ached.

"Shhh," Lust hushed him, stroking her hand gently down his chest to soothe, but only served to send a shiver of terrified disgust down Edward's spine as he watched. "It's okay, Empathy," she whispered, using the name imposed upon Ed's younger brother by Truth himself. "It's finally time to join us. I promised you I would give you your heart, didn't I? We've waited for you so very long…"

"Please…" Alex sobbed, voice breaking in desperation. "Let me die!"

"Can't do that, little brother," Envy grinned from Lusts left, slim hips cocked to the side arrogantly and condescending smirk on his smug face. "We've put too much energy into you." Gluttony giggled, a finger on his wide mouth and his bulbous form shaking slightly with vacant mirth.

Before Alex could make another utterance, Lust brought the stone to his bare chest and pressed gently.

After that was a blur, despite Edward's best effort at remembering. Alphonse screaming in the background, a few vague impressions of colors, sounds, pain and a nameless dread…

"Time to go–"

"No matter, we have what we came for–"

"…sacrifices?"

"Leave them–"

And when he woke next, Edward and Alphonse's brother was gone.

o-0-o

FOUR DAYS LATER Central Hospital

"Edward Elric!" A loud, feminine voice broke the silence of the room violently, causing the blonde young man to swing his eyes to the door in shock. A slim woman stood strong in the doorway, legs spread aggressively and blue eyes challenging. "You have to eat at some point!"

The young alchemist flinched at her demanding tone, blinking a bit blearily and looking around himself. He forced his mind to focus after what felt like much too long in silence. Dull gold eyes slipped around absently, not really taking in the white sterile hospital room and pausing, as always, on the blank spot where his youngest brother once sat before he requested to move to the roof. As it had every day since that time, Edward's heart sank in disappointment at Alphonse's still empty space.

"Not hungry," Edward sighed, leaning back against the hard pillows on the hospital cot he was confined to and resuming his vacant gaze out the window. The back of his head itched but he ignored it, no longer tempted to run his hand through the unfamiliar short cut, the ends still ragged and uneven from where he had hacked through it with his automail blade.

Winry's shoulders relaxed somewhat in resignation, gaze softening at Edwards recalcitrant back.

"He still hasn't returned, has he," she said softly. Edward grunted in response, feeling almost numb. It wasn't just the drugs coursing through him that held the slowly retreating pain in his side at bay, either. Ever since the events at Lab five four days ago, he'd felt…drained. Empty. And the only one who could pull him from that–the only one left, he thought, depressed–hadn't spoken to him since the day after he woke up.

The red glow of his youngest brother's eyes had gazed upon him steadily, but no matter what the older boy said, he could not get Alphonse to respond. It was terrifying, the silence, and when Edward's pleas became desperate, Alphonse calmly asked Major Armstrong, who visited every other day, to help him to the roof so he could watch the sky. Heartbroken once again, Edward watched as his only remaining brother was lifted upon Alex Armstrong's shoulder–the armor that held his soul marred and broken from the recent battle, leaving him helpless–and taken from his sight.

Edward's mismatched shoulders hunched, as good as a confirmation to Winry's eyes.

With a deep sigh, the young woman slapped the tray containing the sparse mush the hospital called food upon the table beside the boy's bed and plopped into the visitor's chair. Edward seemed to tense further at her close proximity, but Winry, long a childhood friend, would not be deterred.

"Why haven't you talked to him," she asked gently, but steel laced her voice, brokering no refusal to answer. Edward, long used to his friend, understood when to give in lest she pester him for days, answered reluctantly.

"I tried…"

"Edward, it's been days. Try again."

A sharp stab of anger tore through Ed in that moment, and he whipped around, ignoring the sharp report of pain from the stitches in his side. "I TRIED!" He snapped. For a moment, his eyes flashed a fiery gold before fading back into a dull ochre. "I tried," he whispered. "It was like he couldn't hear me at all. He just stared…" Ed's voice broke and Winry frowned deeply, never having seen her friend look quite so dejected since the night the brothers tried to bring their mother back to life.

The young woman sighed and had to agree with Edward's assessment. She had known Alphonse since practically birth and this sullen, monosyllabic mood was completely unlike him. Even she could only get a few noncommittal responses when she had arrived a few days before.

"Oh, Ed…" Winry only knew a little of what happened in Lab Five, but it was enough to know how horribly it had all gone wrong. She didn't think she would ever forget the moment when she received a call from Riza Hawkeye, a woman she had met only briefly the two times she had visited Central. In a grave voice, Hawkeye informed her of the bare minimum of what had happened, clipped tone suggesting that there was so much more, but as a civilian Winry could not know.

But it was enough.

Alex was gone. Alphonse was broken. Edward was badly hurt.

By who? Why? What had happened? Frustration and fear had curled within the young woman's gut. She was always in the dark, always waiting for that next call that might or might not be the news that her friends–damn near brothers–had gotten nearly killed once more. She had stormed to Central, righteous fury and spanner as her weapons of choice, but it had all drained away the moment she saw Edward.

Wane, broken, Edward had stared at her blankly with dulled eyes, completely alone and pale in a sterile white hospital room, looking as though the world had crashed upon his small shoulders. With a devastated expression, Winry had walked in the room and taken Edward gently in her arms. No tears leaked from the boy, so Winry cried for them both.

By the time she got there, Alphonse had already left the room, and no amount of questions on her part would rouse him from his self imposed silence.

"Why would he do this…" Winry mumbled rhetorically, not really expecting an answer. She got one regardless, however, and jumped as Edward replied sarcastically.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, voice cracking slightly through the sarcasm. "Maybe it's the fact that I put him in a damned suit of armor. Maybe it's the fact that I dragged him down with me, always drag him down with me, every time I step out the door." As he spoke, more pain filtered through his rising voice. "Maybe it's that I couldn't protect my little brother from being half eaten by a monster or that I let Alex be taken away from us or that I created–" Edward cut himself off sharply with a strangled moan, biting through his lip until a small bead of blood leaked from beneath his sharp teeth.

Wide eyed, Winry leaned forward and lifted a hesitant hand to his face. Edward flinched, but released his lower lip at her gentle insistence, eyes slightly shocked. She ran a warm finger over the small cut, wiping away the blood. A light blush dusted Edward's cheeks and he looked away, though his expression remained miserable.

"Enough," Winry whispered, drawing his eyes back to her own blues. "Enough," She said louder, more firmly, and pulled back. Standing to her feet abruptly, she backed away and crossed her arms, staring a shocked Edward down with a challenging gaze. "I've had enough! You and Alphonse are brothers and I will not tolerate this any longer." Imperiously she pointed her ever present spanner at Edward who straightened, eyes going comically wide. "YOU! EAT!"

Edward's hand moved, almost without his consent, and he grabbed a sorry looking bread roll from the tray beside him, taking a large bite under her demanding gaze. "That food had better be GONE by the time I get back, Edward Elric, or so help me," she threatened, wrench waving in the air dangerously close to a certain blonde's nose, who nodded rapidly.

Winry nodded once before spinning on her heel, long golden hair snapping behind her like a whip.

"Where are you going!" Edward asked, voice muffled by disgustingly dry bread.

By the time he choked out his question, Winry was already stalking down the hall, various hospital staff leaping out of the volatile woman's way. "All of it, Edward!"

The shaken alchemist gulped harshly and stuffed more bread in his mouth, self-preservation instincts taking over even before he registered the order. He blinked slowly in bewilderment as his long time friend disappeared out of sight, leaving a trail of scared staff in her wake. His gaze snaked over to the still full tray of bland food and he groaned, but knew better than to disobey. Soon enough, though, his starving and neglected body took over, no longer caring what the food tasted like as Edward ate for the first time in days.

o-0-o

It was quiet up here. So quiet. White clouds drifted lazily overhead as a gentle breeze carried them along. Alphonse Elric rested against the nondescript wall next to the entrance to the roof, gazing at the clouds that he could not block out with his lidless vision and observing with limited senses the wind he couldn't feel.

Alphonse tried to clear his mind as his second oldest brother had taught him. He imagined he could breathe, just for a moment imagined he wasn't just an empty shell incapable of movement any longer and tried to block out all thoughts…

Painful memories intruded once every few seconds, but Alphonse pushed them down with an effort. No, he couldn't think right now. Thinking would only bring him more pain and confusion…

But of course, the way he was now, crippled and immobile, there was nothing to do but think. Al let out an unnecessary sigh as he became once more wholly incapable of blocking out his whirling thoughts.

Once again, Barry the Chopper's mocking voice intruded upon his mind, the other soul trapped in a suit of armor plaguing him with endless visions and seeds of doubt.

How do you know you aren't just an imitation!? A series of fake memories and emotions created by your brother to serve him? Souls aren't quantifiable by science, so how would you know the difference!

"No," Alphonse whispered out loud. "It isn't true…I'm Alphonse Elric," he replied to his memory.

But there were things he couldn't remember, and sometimes he couldn't deny that he didn't' feel quite…there. Was any of this real? Doubt and conflict swirled through his soul, made all the more intense because of his inability to move or distract himself. And that was just it wasn't it? He was just a shell, a can with a soul inside…If it was even a real soul…

And the circular thoughts just kept coming. He had been entirely unable to respond to Edward when he had tried to talk to him before. Feelings of uselessness and despair and even a little bit of mistrust had figuratively choked him when he gazed into his brother's worn and sad face. Guilt…he shouldn't have been so worthless that Edward had to face all of that alone…sacrifice his soul and his morals alone…Al should have been able to save Alex from those monsters, and save Edward from what he was forced to do.

But he couldn't. He was just a tin can, easily defeated and destroyed. Or perhaps those feelings were imposed upon him by Edward's programming…

Those thoughts had been torturing him to no end for days while his unnatural body denied him sleep. And the thing was, he didn't know how to make them stop.

A loud bang interrupted the depressed boy's musings, and a puffing Winry stormed from within the building. She threw her head side to side before spotting Alphonse who would have cringed back were he capable.

"Winry…?"

The woman bared her teeth and squared up to the boy. "ALPHONSE ELRIC!"

"Ah! Yes?!" Al replied immediately, fear lacing his voice and shocked thoroughly out of his dark mood.

The fuming woman pointed her wrench threateningly at the boy, who despite not being able to feel anything, still feared the wrench of his childhood friend. "I have had it with your moping. You are going to march back in there and TALK TO YOUR BROTHER!"

Alphonse deflated, shock giving way to annoyance. "If you haven't noticed," he said bitterly, "that's not possible."

Winry seemed genuinely taken aback for a second, glancing up and down Alphonse's ruined form, before seeming to rally. "NO. No more excuses. You've been brooding for DAYS and I will see you two make up or I will drag your sorry butt down to Edward's hospital room MYSELF!"

"That won't be necessary," a husky voice came from the door, and both Winry and Alphonse looked on in shock as Edward eased himself outside. He was hunched, the wound in his side still causing him a great deal of pain, and Alphonse couldn't help the thrill of panic at seeing him up and about so soon after so brutal an injury. Still, he could not bring himself to react, and when Edward's pained eyes met his, Al looked away.

"Edward," Winry gasped in distress, immediately going to the injured boy's side. "What are you doing up! Your stitches–"

"Can wait," Edward snapped, waving Winry aside. His sharp gaze bore into Alphonse, and the boy thought he could almost feel his soul pressing in on his own, though he knew it was impossible. He only had that kind of connection with Alex…

"Alphonse," Edward's voice pleaded gently. "Please, talk to me."

"Why should I," Al said, voice dark.

"Because I'm your brother, dammit," Ed retorted angrily, the emotion only thinly veiling the panic he was no doubt feeling.

"Are you? Are you really," Alphonse said, and it was as if he was listening to himself in the third person, unable to control his own voice. He didn't look, but he could almost physically feel the pain his words caused Edward.

Winry gasped. "Al, how could you say that! Of course Ed is your brother!"

"Am I his real brother," Al continued as if Winry hadn't spoken. "Am I Alphonse Elric? Did Alphonse Elric even exist?" He turned his gaze onto Edward, who visibly flinched, pupils barely a pinprick of black on wide golden eyes. "You attached me to this suit of armor, didn't you brother? Did you also create my memories?"

He looked down at the ground, barely keeping his voice steady. "After all, memories are just data you can look up like a cabinet of files. As talented an Alchemist as you are, you could have made me any way you wanted…"

"Alphonse," Edward choked, "That's not–"

But Al continued ruthlessly, all of what he had been thinking and fearing coming out at once in a terrible wave. "Alphonse Elric was never a real person."

"Al, what–" Winry tried to interrupt, but she was cut off as well.

"Back before we stormed lab five, there was something you wanted to tell me, wasn't there, my so called brother," Alphonse said coldly. "That was it, wasn't it? That I'm not real! That I've never been real!" At this point, the boy was panting, worked up even though he had no body to breathe with. "I can't remember parts of my past because they never happened! My memories and my soul is fake, something you created! That's what you wanted to tell me, isn't it!"

"Al that's not what he was trying to tell you," Winry shouted desperately, "He was trying to ask–"

"Stop lying to me!" Alphonse shouted.

"I'm not," she yelled back, "You and Ed and I have been together since birth!"

Still, Edward just stared, shock painted all over his face, and that only seemed to confirm Alphonse's fears.

"And what proof do you have? Pictures? How can I believe that when Alex looks exactly like that boy with Edward! How do I know he wasn't the one who–"

"Stop," Edward finally spoke, stopping Al in his tracks. Al choked back, armor vibrating with terrible emotions. The older boy's eyes were hidden behind his bangs and his mouth was set in a deep frown. "So this is what you've been thinking about this whole time?" He stepped forward. "That you weren't real? That I just created you to be my plaything?"

"Well, did you? Answer me!"

Edward grit his teeth while Winry looked on fearfully between the two.

"Why won't you say anything?! Unless it's true!" Alphonse felt panic well up within him, crowding his soul. He wanted to be able to move. He couldn't move! "I'm just an empty piece of metal! How can I continue living this lie!"

"Enough!" Edward finally shouted. He kneeled down and got right into Alphonse's metal face. His eyes were full of fury and pain and Alphonse flinched back from him with a gasp. "How can you think that all of this was a lie? That Alex was a lie? Did you think he just made it all up about his home, about wanting to get back? When you connected, were his emotions fake!?"

Alphonse reeled, taking in Edward's words. No…no it hadn't been. There's no way someone could keep that up…but…

"Did you think," Edward continued, voice choked with either fury or grief, "That I made you up? Fabricated your feelings? Made up Mom?!"

And just like that, a flood of memories, real memories, infused Alphonse's soul, filtering away his doubt.

Trisha making them pies with a bright smile, the hazy memories of her gentle touch as she tucked them into bed.

Edward smiling sleepily as a child, holding Alphonse's hand and guiding him to the bathroom when he felt scared to go alone.

Winry's bright smile and hot temper when they were little and would ditch her to go read alchemy books.

Alex's grieved face when he thought no one was looking, the same look that Trisha had right before she died, so experienced and wizened, in no way resembling the photos of a happy young Alphonse…

A haze of panic seemed to clear slowly from Alphonse's beleaguered mind as he looked on his brother's face properly for the first time in days. "Ed…I…"

His older brother dropped his eyes and squeezed them tight, but not before Al caught a glimmer of moisture. "Al…what I wanted to ask you that night…but was too afraid to say it. It's my fault that you no longer have a body…Do you hate me?!"

"What…?" Alphonse whispered.

Ed's shoulders began trembling, head bowed low against Al's chest. "Do you hate me," he repeated. "I gotta know. I wouldn't blame you if you did…Do you hate me for all that's happened?"

"That's...what you've been trying to ask me?" Alphonse suddenly felt more confined in his own body than even before. Because he wanted to wrap his arms, his real arms, around this idiot brother of his. He had been so stupid. All this time, Edward was worried that Alphonse would blame him, as if he didn't share an equal burden. He had let Barry's words get between them and let his feelings lend credence to complete lies, growing a wedge where there was none. He may not have had the deep empathic connection with Edward that he had with Alex, but Al and Ed had a connection all their own; that of blood brothers who grew up together, who knew each other inside and out. That could never be fabricated. His answer was obvious. "I could never hate you, brother." Edward's breath hitched at his words. "I'm sorry…"

A tense moment passed them by as the three youths stood in silence. Then his older brother chuckled weakly, glancing up behind his bangs with somewhat cleared eyes. "You know, we used to fight over all sorts of stupid stuff, didn't we Al," he asked quietly, clenching Al's shoulder plate tightly.

"Heh, yeah...Like who got the most candy…" Al responded, soul easing like a gently unraveling knot.

"Or that toy, remember?"

"Or who got to marry Winry when we grew up."

A faint laugh came from beside them and both boys turned their gaze on Winry, who had tears streaked down her cheeks but a relieved smile gracing her lips. "Oh boys," she mumbled, shaking her head. "That plate better have been cleared, Edward," she finally said, turning around and heading to the stairs, "or there will be hell to pay." She paused, "I'll see you two later," and closed the door gently behind her.

Ed frowned, a light blush warming his cheeks, and complained, "You didn't need to bring that one up, Al."

"Yes, I did," the younger Elric responded, feeling mirth for the first time in over a week. It felt...real.

Ed let out a genuine smile at that, before frowning once more. "So you're telling me that all those memories are lies?"

"...Sorry."

"Or that our desire to get our bodies back and Alex back to his own world," he clenched his automail hand, "fabrications."

"No. My feelings are real."

"That's right. We are in this together all the way, all three of us. We are going to save Alex, and we are going to push forward, make ourselves better, faster, stronger until we get our bodies back!"

"Right. Whatever it takes."

"Whatever it takes."

o-0-o

A little while later, Edward found himself back in his hospital room, dearly wishing for more painkillers, despite his absolute hatred of the stuff. He had really pushed himself a little too far just then. But despite that, his heart felt lighter and more hopeful than it had in days.

"Edward," Winry said brightly from her position by the window, clearly having been waiting for him. "Where's Al?"

"On the roof still," Ed replied easily. "Said he needed to think about some stuff and cool down."

"But," Winry said, a tad uncertain.

"It's alright. I think we're okay now." He grinned, and Winry relaxed. "Say, there's something I need your help with."

"Oh," Winry ribbed, "besides repairing you two's relationship?"

"Heh, yeah, besides that." The young man's gaze turned serious, and Winry sobered in response. "There isn't enough of Al's original armor to fix him. I want you to build me something."

o-0-o

Hello folks. Been awhile. I have, unfortunately been job hunting, so that's why you haven't heard from me in forever. It's no walk in the park, I'll tell you what. I'm exhausted. I thought shit was supposed to get easier after graduation! What happened?!

Anyway, in other news, I achieved black belt status! Wooo!

Nuff about me. On with the story! So yeah, Ed and Al are duking it out, working through some feels. Had to be done, I'm afraid, but the good news is, it should lighten up a bit, at least on their end. Alex is another story. We'll hear from him soon, I promise.

So quick question, because I'm totally curious. To my readers old and new: Do you see Alex as a woman or a man? I mean in your head. I'm just asking because some refer to him as a her or vice versa in reviews and it kinda seems split down the middle. It totally and completely doesn't matter, so don't feel obligated to answer, but it's just interesting to think about, yeah?

Anywho, thank you all for sending your love. Every review/fav/hit makes me happy and motivates me to work hard. Hope to hear from you all again!

Next Chapter: Interrogations