You know the drill - SM owns everything, including my soul.... :)

Thanks again to my wonderful beta, Emilie Fauve!


I could hear Carlisle pull up a chair next to Rosalie. He began talking to her through her agonizing pleas for death; a human death. I tried to flee his voice, but I couldn't flee his thoughts. I heard every word of what he said to her.

It'll be okay. The pain will subside. Then you'll be one of us.

She didn't want to be one of us. She didn't want to live after what Royce had done to her. She was too tied to mortality, to her family and everything in this world. The weight of Carlisle's rash decision bore down on me, reopening my own wounds of regret and anger over having become what I am. I couldn't stand it. I nearly ripped the outer door off its hinges as I stomped outside.

Someone for Edward.

I cried out in agony as Esme's thoughts pounded my brain. How could she continue to think of playing matchmaker like this when she knew nothing about Rosalie? Was it simply because I had no mate? Is this how she and Carlisle justified turning her? For me? This was different than when Carlisle changed Esme; he knew her already, and she was in love with him! The transformation for her carried none of the regret because she knew they could love one another, share a life together. Esme's human life was over and she had no one left. But Rosalie did. She had a family that cherished her. She was engaged, in love with the monster that raped her and left her for dead on the side of the road. Just like I was a monster, a terrible creature frozen in time, incapable of change and feeling the kind of love that Carlisle and Esme insisted resided within me. Did they think she'd easily give up one monster for another, and did they just assume I'd be willing to take her as a companion because they wanted me to?

I began to run as fast as I could, fleeing the demon thoughts that plagued my mind from all three of them: Rosalie crying out for death and envisioning her own funeral; Carlisle talking her through the pain, spilling all of our secrets in preparation for her birth into immortality. But the worst thoughts came from Esme. She sat next to Carlisle, silently watching both of them as she ran images through her mind of Rosalie and me sitting together on the front porch, our heads bent close together in a quiet display of affection followed by an image of me gently stroking Rosalie's cheek before leaning in to kiss her. After that, the images came more rapidly and became much more vivid; replays of events that had happened for Carlisle and Esme, now with me and Rosalie superimposed in their places. I cried out again, pulling at my own hair in an attempt to rid myself of the onslaught of graphic and impossible images. I would not go down that path. I could not go down it.

It was hours later when I finally slowed, eventually stopping along a small creek in the middle of the woods. I considered hunting to distract myself from the caldron of turmoil boiling inside of me, but I wasn't hungry or in the mood to track down a lone buck or bear. Instead, I slid down into a crouch against a large boulder, cradling my head in my hands as I considered my options.

I really didn't want to leave again. I had tried that, striking out on my own for several years. It was a more miserable life then the one dancing through Esme's thoughts. I had no willpower to deny myself human blood without the unspoken support of my kind. I rapidly ruled that choice out.

The second option was to return and embrace our latest family member. My stomach curled at that thought as well. Even if I was capable of opening my cold heart to Rosalie and forming some sort of bond similar to Carlisle and Esme's, did I really want to? The girl was shallow and vain and she didn't want to be one of us. I couldn't think of a more miserable soul to be stuck with through eternity - and that was assuming that I could love her the way they wanted me to. I knew I wasn't capable, despite my family's hope that I was wrong.

That left a painful third alternative - return home, yet not embrace Rosalie. Deny Esme her wish for us to become companions and try to stomach a new family member that was miserable in her new life. Attempt to treat her as a sister, but nothing more. It would be taxing and utterly wretched, but I could do it, at least for awhile. If she turned out to be more aggravating then I had anticipated, I'd reevaluate my options and go from there. I owed Carlisle and Esme at least that much. They might even abandon the romantic notions if I proved to them how incompatible the two of us really were. Besides, I had heard Rosalie's thoughts before – she didn't want to be with me any more than I wanted to be with her. Surely, Carlisle and Esme would see the strife between us sooner than later?

I skipped a rock across the stream, letting the finality of my decision calm my frayed nerves. I felt marginally better after having made this choice. All I could hope for now was that Rosalie would do one of two things – leave us to search out her own way, or accept her new life with us and play the part of a daughter and sister peacefully, so we could all coexist. I had very little hope for the latter, but I had been wrong before.

The sun was dipping below the tree line as I began to race home and return to my growing family. As I approached the house, Carlisle and Esme's thoughts rang loud and clear through my mind.

She's going to be exquisitely beautiful when the transformation is complete…wait until Edward sees her.

Edward – how could he be so upset with this? He has to understand my decision to save her, to right the wrongs on that dark street. But what if he's unable to see that this is truly a gift for him, a way to help him accept his immortality and find the good in it? What if he can't welcome her into our family?

Carlisle's thought made me stumble and hang my head in shame. He was worried I wouldn't welcome her? Was his opinion of me that low? I had grown so accustomed to the constant drone of praise from my father-figure, that to hear him think of me in such a way was acutely painful. I couldn't disappoint him again, not after the last few years. No matter what I thought of her, I had to try to at least be civil to her, for him.

I began the arduous task of masking my inner turmoil as I crossed the yard towards the front door. It was essential I make Carlisle proud and act accordingly - at least try and keep the peace. There was no turning back from Rosalie Hale becoming one of us. I would have to accept that decision and move forward; however, I was not yet ready to concede to Esme's request. That was simply impossible. I saw it as a bit of a compromise - I would welcome Rosalie to our little coven, but I would not allow myself to love her. I wasn't capable of such a thing even if I wanted to.

They both heard me walk up the steps to the front door.

Edward's back!

Esme was emitting a plethora of happy thoughts laced with enduring hope for a loving future between myself and Rosalie. I sighed deeply, pondering how best to let her down easy.

Carlisle's thoughts continued down the same path, yet also questioned my ability to see his side of this decision. I walked calmly through the front room toward Esme and Carlisle's bedroom where he sat holding vigil over his latest creation. Rosalie was still trembling in pain, but her voice was exhausted, as she had not stopped screaming since I had left. Now she was only capable of low sobbing as the fires continued to race through her veins.

I focused on her thoughts for the first time since I had fled the house. They were murky; most likely due to the overwhelming presence of intolerable pain. Every now and then I'd catch a fleeting thought, mainly a plea for Carlisle to kill her. She was coherent enough to know she wasn't dead, but she thought the burning was still a remnant of Royce's brutal attack. It was still too early for Carlisle's words to make sense to her.

Standing behind Carlisle, I watched Rosalie violently shudder on the bed. While I was gone, they had changed her out of her bloodied dress and washed the dirt off her alabaster skin. Esme must have brushed and cleaned her hair as well, because it was no longer caked with dirt and grass. If not for her pained expression and rigid posture, she would have resembled a perfect angel. I had to admit that Esme was right in one respect – she was exquisite. If only that beauty permeated down through her soul, then maybe this would be easier.

"How much longer?" I asked.

I'm not sure. At least another day. But she can hear us – I don't want to make it worse for her.

"Carlisle, your…" I started to ask him about his intentions, his feelings for her. I already had a good idea of how he felt, but I wanted him to speak it aloud before Esme and me. I wasn't trying to be hurtful or malicious, but I needed to know that everything was out in the open. Reading minds didn't always afford an accurate assessment of situations such as these.

He turned to look at me questioningly. I heard Esme approach from the other room, as if she sensed a need to be present for this discussion. Her intuition was correct. I rethought my question before finishing it.

"Will she stay with us?" This wasn't exactly what I wanted to ask, but it would still give me a better sense of what lie ahead.

Carlisle's expression darkened slightly. "It's her decision to make…but I think she'll stay."

Esme stepped forward, resting a hand on each of us. "I want her to stay with us. It'll help make our family complete." She glanced over at me, and I didn't need to hear her thoughts to see what she was getting at.

I looked away, unable to convince her or myself that I'd try to make this new living arrangement work, yet also unable to shut down her romantic expectations once and for all.

"Esme, you can't force such a thing on her." Maybe if I turned it around, making the suggestion unrealistic for Rosalie instead of myself, that would help her see the reality of the situation. It was worth a try. "She will need to learn how to live again, first." I could hear an edge creeping into my voice.

"He's right. Let's wait and see how she feels when she wakes up." Surprisingly, Carlisle was taking my side. I looked over at him curiously. Despite my role as his beloved son, I still believed my position on such matters took second place to Esme's.

I know this is hard for you Edward, but she's only thinking of your happiness. Please don't rob her of that. However, I also won't push you on the subject. Let's wait and see what happens over the next few days before we make any brash judgments.

I nodded slightly, feeling a few pounds of the crushing weight upon my shoulders being removed. I could give them that much. I could try to make this work.