The Monster Within Me
Part One: How It Started
Chapter Two
My POV
My mind slipped into the woman's mind. I'm not entirely sure how I even ended up there. She didn't seem to know that I was there, accidently invading her space. It was dark and in the center of well wherever, she sat meditating, sitting crisscrossed in the air. I stood there confused and watched. How did she not know I was in here? I was pretty sure with the powers she had that they would include sensing things, like when someone went into their mind. She whispered three alien words. What did they mean?
Then I was somewhere else. My mind, hers I don't know. It was pitch black. I couldn't even see my hand right in front of my face. I shivered. It was cold. Not the cold like temperature, but cold as in feeling, like sensing, emotion maybe. I felt scared. I began to tense up and my arms wrapped around myself protectively.
Images suddenly presented themselves before me. It was like I was watching a movie almost. I had to still be in her mind. I think these things I was seeing were memories, her memories. None of them made sense, and I only got little snips of each one before it changed into something completely different.
Then everything stopped. It became dark again. I opened my eyes and blinked sleepily. My fists rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I yawned then looked at her. I didn't even know her name, or at least not yet. I sensed the people before she did.
Cars with blaring sirens pulled up into the driveway. She then opened her eyes and looked at me. She didn't say anything. She stood up picked me up then walked to the door. I went to squeezing her arm again. I was nervous. I knew they were good people, but I still didn't actually know them and I didn't know if they were going to take me away from her. I was afraid they would. I was afraid someone would find out that it was me. That I was the reason my parents were dead, in my room, soaked in blood. She whispered to me that it was okay when I squeezed her tighter.
Raven POV
I opened my eyes when I heard the sirens. The police or whoever was here. Lilith looked at me nervously. I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything. I stood, picked her up and went to the door. As soon as she was in my arms the circulation was cut off again. She was scared. She didn't know what was going to happen. She squeezed me tighter when my left hand went for the doorknob. I stopped, and whispered to her that it was okay, nothing bad was going to happen and that I wouldn't let it. Her eyes calmed, but her grip did not loosen. I was the only one she trusted at the moment.
I turned the door handle and opened the door, slowly, trying to keep Lilith calm. As soon as the door was open all the way she went to burying her head into my cloak I had wrapped around her and pressed herself up against me. I didn't pull my cloak of her head. I let her hide. When she was ready she'd come out.
The looks I got from the police reminded me of how different I really was, and how not everyone would accept me or trust me, that I was weird in their minds. The looks angered me slightly, but I pushed it away. They didn't know me and really had no idea what I would look like. I was just not what they expected.
I could feel Lilith tense up. She could sense all the eyes that were on us, or mainly me. It made her nervous. She pressed against me harder and squeezed my already numbing arm tighter. She wanted out. She wanted to be somewhere she felt safe. The closest she was getting was being up against me under my cloak.
My eyes were emotionless but not cold, my lips neutral, neither smiling nor frowning. They continued to stare at me, saying nothing. They weren't exactly judging me, they were just surprised. Surprised by the fact that I was so pale and wearing a leotard, that my hair and eyes were violet and that I had a birthmark on my forehead. I gave an impatient sigh and asked them to quit staring at me, that I knew I looked different. My voice was colder than I meant it to be. My words snapped them back to reality and they went on like nothing had happened, like I was actually normal.
My POV
I could sense all the eyes on us. It only made me even more nervous. I was almost shaking. I held onto her has tight as I could. I couldn't get enough of her calmness into me. I could also sense her annoyance. She didn't like the starring either. I shook ever so slightly when she told them to quit starring. Her voice sounded so cold to me, yet almost comforting.
They finally began to speak. I didn't listen to what was said or even going on. I kept my self hidden and tight in her arms. The only things I could really hear were my own breathing and her heartbeat. Each harmonic beat was comforting. It made me feel warm and sleepy. I didn't fight it. I let my heavy eyes close and sleep take me away from the world.
My dreams were strange and didn't really make sense. What had happened repeated itself dozens of times before it changed and turned into her memories I had seen a bit earlier. Then it changed yet again to a room with four people. None of them really looked normal. One was green, another robotic, one wearing a mask, and a girl floating in the air looking worried. Then everything went black, but I did not wake up. I simple dreamt of nothing else and basically just sat there in my mind.
Raven POV
As they spoke to me it made me feel like they thought I was dumb. They were talking slow and simple. They didn't think I knew anything about the police system, or how a crime scene worked. They thought I was scared and had no idea what I was doing. I could have disappeared right there and simply left, but somehow I kept myself there.
"I know how this works" I finally said to them, "I do this like, every day, granted it doesn't involve murder, but I think I can handle it without you slowly, telling me what to do."
They all looked at me taken aback. "Really" said one "do you have a badge?"
"Not exactly" I said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked a different one.
My eyes had somewhat narrowed by now. I was annoyed. I simply wanted to get Lilith out of here and go home. I almost growled. Most of them were skeptical and didn't really believe me. I was about ready to blow something up. I never really had to deal with this before. This was new, and I didn't like it.
I ignored the question and instead asked "are we going to the station or not?"
That seemed to perk them up and get them off my back. I needed to cool down.
Lilith popped her head out when I got into a car. Two drove us to the station while the others including two other cars stayed to investigate, like they'd find anything. They had no idea what or where for that matter they were looking for. This was not a case they could solve. They had no idea what they were up against. Well, I didn't really either, but still I was better off, I knew how to pretty much deal with anything including those that were not supposed to exist in their minds.
Lilith looked around curiously as I buckled her and I in. she did not speak, but she didn't need to, her eyes said everything. She was nervous still and scared. The only reason she came out was basically because she didn't want to be forced to come out, so she thought she'd come out now, and try to calm down. I had to tell Lilith to let go of my arm. I couldn't feel it anymore. It was kinda dead at the moment. She hesitated, before she let go slowly then grasped my other non-numb arm.
The man who was not driving spoke to Lilith. Not really trying to get any information out of her, but more of trying to earn her trust, comfort her. And it was actually kind of working. He told her jokes and eventually got her to smile at one. I wasn't paying attention. I was staring out the window trying to figure out how to get the heck out of here. These jokes were stupid and annoying. Dare I think it, but Beastboy could have done a better job. I took deep breaths to keep myself from yelling and closed my eyes and kind of meditated. My magic words helped calm me.
I could feel Lilith tapping me. I tried to ignore it, but then she started pulling on my arm.
I sighed and opened one eye, "what?"
She looked up at me and smiled. "I still don't know your name" said she, "what is it?"
I opened my other eye and looked down at her.
"Raven, my name is Raven" I said.
Lilith loosened her grip on my arm. "I like that name" she said, she paused then asked "What's a Raven?"
I almost smiled, the key word being almost. She was kind of cute. Her voice was sweet and full of innocence. Had I even had that at that age? It seemed like since birth I had no innocence, that I was a kind of a monster. But that was all behind me now, all in the past. I was good. It didn't matter what blood you had, what you chose mattered.
"A raven is a big black bird. Kind of like a crow but bigger, smarter and prettier" I explained.
"Do you have a raven?" asked Lilith.
My eyes showed warmth in them for the first time in months and I actually smiled, just a little one, maybe I wouldn't even call it a smile.
"It depends on how you look at it. I do have a raven, but not in the way you would think."
Before Lilith could even respond the driver asked "how's that?"
Lilith's eyes asked the same question they were all curious.
"I may not have a physical raven…" I paused and explained to Lilith what physical meant, "Physical means the real thing, it's solid, and you can touch it. I don't have that, but I do have it spiritually". Before Lilith could even ask the question I explained it, "Spiritually means it's a part of you, you may be able to see it, but it's not solid, you can't touch it."
That was the simplest I could think of how to explain it. I don't even know why I said I had it spiritually. Lilith's innocence must be getting to me. It actually makes me feel like I can show myself, the real me and I kind of like that feeling.
My POV
I finally pulled the cloak of my head as she got in the car with me. I didn't really want to be forced to later, so why not come out now. I looked around myself. I had never been in a police car before, though I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Then she told me to let go of her arm. I looked at her, then slowly loosened my grip then grasped her other arm. I needed at least something to hold onto.
One of the men spoke to me. Him speaking made me nervous at first. After a few silly jokes I was beginning to feel more relaxed. I could sense her annoyance at the jokes. I decided to finally get her name, and hopefully stop the jokes and rid her of her annoyance. It seemed to work. She told me her name was Raven. She wanted to smile, but didn't. I wasn't really sure why. Then I asked her what her name meant and if she had one. Her explanation was somewhat confusing. It seemed to confuse the men up front too. At least I wasn't the only one confused.
I became quieter when we became closer to the station. I didn't know what was to happen. Not knowing made me more nervous. Raven could tell I was nervous and wanted to hide. She looked at me then put the cloak back over my head. She was going to let me hide? I was confused. She wasn't going to let them question me, or at least not right away.
Raven POV
Lilith began to grow quiet, well quieter. I knew we had to be getting close. She looked at me, her eyes asking me to give all the answers to her problems. I put my cloak over her head because one: I knew she wanted to hide and two: I couldn't stand to have her look at me that way. I felt like I was almost not protecting her anymore. She didn't want to be asked questions. She wanted to be left alone… with me.
I bit my lip, I needed to think, think of a way to get the two of us out of here as fast as possible. The fastest way would to simply teleport back home, but that didn't seem right and I was not about to be charged with kidnapping. There was no way I could do that. What was my other option?
My thought was cut short when the police man parked the car and he and his partner got out. I unbuckled Lilith quickly, and she basically jumped into my arms. I positioned her on my left hip, opened the door, stepped out, and let my eyes wander slightly. The town was small. The buildings were really small compared to the massive buildings of Jump City.
I gave a slight sigh when I felt Lilith put a tight grip on my arm. This was starting to get old real quick. I whispered to her to let go, that I probably needed both hands. I was pretty sure I didn't but I didn't really want her clinging to me right now. She let go, but was not happy about it. She held onto the inside of my cloak with tight fists, trying not to grasp my arm again.
I followed the police officers into the small station. Lilith pressed her head into me and closed her eyes tightly. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tighter to help relax her. It worked until a lady came out and told me to get the blanket off the child in a not so polite tone.
My eyes narrowed, "First: it's a cloak, and Second: she's scared and needs time to adjust."
My voice was cold, but she took no note of it. She stopped then looked at me with a you-better-listen-to-me-now look. I glared back. The two police officers that had transported us did nothing to help. They just stood there, shifting back and forth nervously.
By now Lilith had grabbed my arm and was squeezing it with all her might. I could actually hear her heart beating faster. I knew no one else did but me, but well it was probably my powers or something. This woman angered me. Who did she think she was? She had no right to tell me what to do. She had no empathy for this little four year old. This was simply business to her. She wanted to ask the questions then get out of here. Children were obviously not her specialty. It wasn't mine either, but at least I was actually trying to help. She was just making things worse.
She raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to make her say it again. "Excuse me" she said.
"Do you have any idea what's she's been through tonight? Do you have no compassion? Both her parents were killed and she was being dragged to who knows where. If I hadn't showed up, she'd be gone. And you would have no idea that a murder even happened." I said in a loud firm tone.
"And you are?" she asked mockingly.
Something almost blew up when she said that. My eyes were on the verge of glowing with anger.
"Who am I… lady I could ask you the same question" I said almost growling.
The men looked back and forth, from me to her. They weren't sure what to do? She gasped. Apparently nobody had ever spoken to her that way in her entire life. I was pretty proud to be the first. Her eyes were burning with anger and distaste. I narrowed my eyes even further.
We were saved when an older woman came in and asked what was going on in a firm voice to the lady that was glaring at me.
Immediately, she straightened up, "oh nothing mam, just having a bit of a problem with cooperation" said she with a totally different tone of voice.
I had almost completely had it. I forced my eyes and muscles to relax and slowed my breathing. I shut my eyes and thought my magic words in my head over and over and over again. The older woman looked at me with curiosity. The younger one wondered what the hell I was doing.
Then finally one of the men spoke.
"If I may mam, say a word" said he.
I sensed the woman nod her head at him.
"This miss here is just trying to keep the little girl calm and well Ms. Clalm (claw-lem) is sort of causing tension. The girl will need some time to calm down and may need some coaxing, and well her yelling is really not helping" said he.
The other man gave a slight nod of his head. I opened an eye to see what was happening. The older woman looked at the Ms. Clalm and told her politely to leave, that she was not needed. The young woman left with her nose in the air. I then opened my other eye and sighed. My sigh made Lilith's muscles relax and she held on loosely to my arm.
"I do apologize and hope you may accept it" she said.
I gave a slight nod then said "thank-you."
"I am Mrs. Kaelm (kay-lem). Perhaps we could have a seat and you can tell me what happened."
I only nodded. I didn't really trust my voice at the moment. It had been hard enough to say thank-you without yelling and in a more normal voice as in what she would expect.
She motioned for me to follow then turned and began walking down a hallway. I followed behind, trying to keep my mind to myself and away from everybody else's. Lilith peeked out of the cloak to see where we were.
Once we were seated, Lilith actually took her head out of my cloak and gave a shy little smile to Mrs. Kaelm. She gave a warm smile back to her. Lilith then looked at me asking me with her eyes to tell the story first, that she was not ready yet. Mrs. Kaelm took the hint as well.
"May I know your names please?" she asked.
I responded calmly that the little girl was Lilith and that I was Raven.
"Your full names please. It must go down into the records." She said getting out a notepad and a pen.
Knowing Lilith did not want to say anything yet I quickly searched her mind for her full name.
"Lilith's full name is Lilith Anne Roeker (roe-cure), and mine is Raven Roth" I said quietly.
Lilith looked at me with a strange look. She was probably wondering how I knew her full name. After the woman had written down our names she asked me what time I heard the event, arrived, and what had happened.
With a straight face and calm voice I said "I did not hear Lilith in trouble. I sensed it. I was meditating when her emotions washed over me and I heard her scream. It was about 2 pm where I was. I knew I had to do something. I could feel the evilness surrounding her. I disappeared, and then reappeared a little ways from where Lilith lay."
Mrs. Kaelm looked at me strangely, but wrote down every word I said and I continued, "Lilith's ankles were entangled with a chain made out of energy, almost the same energy that I possess. She was being dragged towards a portal by many shadow creatures. I didn't count how many there were, though I could tell your there were more than ten. They then attacked me. I defended myself and Lilith and imprisoned them within my mind to force information out of them later."
The woman now looked at me like I was sort of crazy. She wasn't sure if she should believe this or not.
"Lilith was crying when I picked her up. When I asked about her parents she told me they had killed them. I then flew to her house to contact the police since my phone had no power left. I did take a look at the murdering scene. It was pretty bloody and her parents were pretty much ripped apart."
That's when I added "you will find no evidence of who did it. If you find any evidence at all it will most likely be a remanence of the portal they opened or a sliver of their magic which you most likely won't find. And it wouldn't tell you who did it anyways". I paused for a second then said "I know you don't really believe me. You need evidence. I swear that you full humans can't believe anything until you actually see it with your own two eyes."
"Full human?" she asked, "then what does that make you?"
Lilith looked back and forth at us. She didn't really understand what was going on and what I meant by full humans.
"Half human" I said gently, trying not to freak her out to much.
Lilith looked up at me quizzically, "then what's your other half?" she asked innocently.
I met her gaze then said softly "you don't want to know Lilith. I'd rather not scare you." I said the second part quieter.
My POV
Being at the station only made things worse. Some lady came out and started yelling at us. We hadn't even done anything wrong. She scared me. I clung to Raven with all my might. Nobody was dragging me away from her. My heart pounded in my head and I trembled slightly. Raven was angry. You didn't really have to sense it to know. It was pretty obvious. Raven spoke to her, but it only seemed to make things worse.
Things quieted down right away when another woman entered the room. The first one acted like nothing had happened and like we were the ones causing the problem. I really dislike her. She made me angry. Raven's sigh of relief calmed me at once. My anger subsided.
The woman who saved us was nice. I liked her. She made me feel like I actually didn't need to be afraid. She led down the hall to an office. I peeped out from under the cloak to see where we were going. When the door was shut behind us I pushed the cloak back off my head and gave a small smile to her, thanking her. She smiled back. She had a nice smile.
I then looked up at Raven. There was no way I was talking first. Maybe I'd talk later. I listened carefully to my saver's story. I wondered where she was from, and if she had a family. Maybe I could meet them. My thoughts changed when she said something about full humans. This confused me. How could someone only be half human? What else was there? The fact that she didn't want to tell me bothered me. I really, really wanted to know. Maybe it was her other part that gave her, her powers. Wait, did that make me only part human too. Cause I did kind of have powers. Then what was I?
Mrs. Kaelm was utterly confused too. Maybe not as confused as I was since I already knew Raven had powers and had been there when she used them. Duh I was there; I was the one she was rescuing.
I began to sweat. I knew I was next. I would have to tell them my story. I wasn't even completely sure what that story was. I had to make up something for the part of me changing into, whatever I changed into. My breathing became shallower. I didn't think I could do this… yet… maybe never. My muscles tensed up and my eyes almost glowed white. I need to calm down I thought. Raven didn't even have a chance to calm me down before something exploded. The light bulb on the ceiling sparked then chattered. Mrs. Kaelm gave a surprised scream. Raven didn't even flinch.
Raven POV
Lilith began to get nervous. She knew that she would need to say at least something. She wasn't ready yet. I needed to calm her down and tell her that she didn't need to say anything yet. Before I could lift Lilith up a light bulb shattered. This startled Mrs. Kaelm greatly. She screamed and jumped out of her seat. I didn't even move.
"That wasn't me" I said confused.
If that wasn't me then who… oh boy…
"Lilith… was that…" I didn't finish my sentence before Lilith started crying.
That pretty much answered my question. But how did Lilith…. Was she part…? I was surprised. Nothing usually caught me off guard. But this… this was the last thing I was expecting. I hadn't even considered this. She couldn't have telekinesis. I didn't sense it when I saved her. I didn't sense anything unusual. How could I have missed this? How did Lilith hide it? I was still getting this through my head when something else exploded. The lamp on the desk became covered in black energy that… was like mine. It rose in the air then shattered.
Mrs. Kaelm didn't know what to do. She didn't even know what the heck was happening. I picked Lilith up and hugged her. I knew her eyes were glowing white underneath her eyelids. My eyes lit up to hold Lilith's powers back. I needed to keep them under control for her. She had no idea that with this kind of power came a lot of responsibility, and self-control. She was only four. She hadn't been raised like I had. The second I began to understand words I was being taught how to control my powers. She didn't know what these powers were. I was fairly certain at that point that Lilith had some demon in her. How much, I didn't know.
This was going to make things a bit harder to get out of here. None of these people here knew about people from, well… not earth. This was going to complicate things. And I still needed to contact my friends to tell them where I was. I couldn't let them take Lilith from me now. She needed me and without me she'd never learn how to control herself. It was important that I gain custody of her. I was the only person who could protect her, who would understand her.
I needed to calm things down and get these people to cooperate with me. So what if something had exploded. It could have been worse, a lot worse. A part demon not knowing how to control their demon side was dangerous. We were lucky that nothing worse had happened, that it was only a light bulb and lamp that exploded.
Lilith began to calm slowly. She was burying her tear stricken face into my right shoulder. My lit up eyes began to calm. They were barely glowing now.
"Lilith, it's okay. You don't have to be ashamed. I know how it feels. I won't let them take you away from me. You don't need to be afraid".
I paused. How was I supposed to tell her that it was her emotions that partly controlled her? This was a lot to take in at such a young age, especially when your parents were killed last night.
"Lilith, you need to calm down. You need to control yourself. You being upset and nervous are only going to make more things break" I said calmly. "Now, breathe in slow and deep. Hold it for a second then release it slowly."
Lilith began to follow my instructions. Tears stopped slipping from her eyes and she concentrated on her breathing. I breathed in and out slowly with her.
"Repeat after me, "Azerath Metrion Xinthos."
I knew these weren't her magic words, or I was at least hoping they weren't. I just thought they might help her think about something else and calm her even more. She began to say my three magic words. She didn't say them correctly, but they seemed to be helping anyway. I was beginning to sense her power. It felt kind of like mine, but I also felt something else, something very dark and probably not good. I couldn't figure out what it was though.
My POV
Raven began to ask me the question I didn't want to answer. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was trapped. I started crying. Then something else shattered, only making me feel worse. I shut my eyes tight, and just wished everything would go away, that this was a dream and I'd wake up in my bed, and my parents would be in the kitchen making breakfast. But I knew it was real. They were dead… and it was all my fault.
Raven lifted me up and hugged me. This gesture comforted me greatly. I felt something strange… like… my powers being lifted from me… or pushed back into me and locked up. She was controlling them for me… I think. I slowly began to calm myself down. She spoke to me saying that everything was okay and that she'd protect me, that she wouldn't let them take me from her. She really cared! I could sense it. I buried my face into her and gave a small sigh. She rocked me back and forth slightly then told me that I needed to control myself that those feelings I was feeling was only going to make things worse. I knew her intention was only to help, but it only made me more nervous. Then she instructed me to inhale and exhale slowly. She did it with me. The deep breaths helped. Anxiety began to slip away. Then she told me to speak three words. They were the three words I had heard her speak before. "
Aziath Metion Zinthos", I said.
I knew I wasn't pronouncing them exactly correct, but I couldn't pronounce the words very well. They were strange to me. They felt strange to speak. What language were they? What did they mean? Surprisingly, concentrating on saying the alien words helped calm me a lot, like… the feeling was indescribable. I hadn't ever felt this way. For the first time in my life I felt peaceful, relaxed, like there was nothing wrong. It was a wonderful feeling. I felt so at peace that I began to feel sleepy. I yawned and fought to keep my heavy eyes open. With another yawn my eyes close and I began to drift off to sleep into my own dreamland.
