Author's Notes:
"YAY, Timmy!" Cosmo cried. "We get to make up brand new material for the author's notes section."
"I know, Cosmo," Timmy said rolling his eyes.
"Cosmo, you moron, can't you just do what the author needs us to do again without ruining everything for everybody?" Wanda asked with a sigh.
"I don't know, Wanda, can I, Timmy?" Cosmo asked.
Timmy shrugged. "Don't ask me."
You three are just as difficult to work with.
"Oh yeah!" Wanda threatened the author.
I retract the previous statement... Please.
"I wish for a Disclaimer Addendum," Timmy said with a big grin.
Disclaimer Addendum Poof: Characters also appearing in this crossover from the sister show Danny Phantom are the property of Butch Hartman, creative genius and mastermind of both Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom... And if Cosmo doesn't stop making me type these silly gushing praise filled Disclaimer's he's going to be sent to Unwish Island and forced to clean SuperToilet again...
"AHHHHHHHHHH! SO MUCH CLOGGING!" Cosmo trembles in fright.
Chapter Begin Poof...
Denzel Crocker had been in his Crocker Cave running a quick check over all his Fairy finding systems when the spell cast by Timmy Turner's fairies affected all of Dimmsdale and Sunnydale.
Since he was an obsessive crazy person – Crocker was immune to the spell due to the simple fact that he had used magic proof protection to – uh, protect himself. After one too many times of being affected by one of Timmy Turner's wishes he'd decided to make it impossible for them to transform him. At least while he was in his super secret fairy finding fortress of fairy-proofdom.
Thus Crocker was surprised when a loud howl ripped through Dimmsdale – quickly twisting a few dials on his fairy-detector monitoring device he stared with beady eyes intently at the image that popped up.
Crocker smiled. "Aha! Timmy Turner must have wished that everyone would transform into real and scary versions of their lame Halloween costumes in an effort to terrify himself and his fairies… Hmmm… How can I take advantage of this?" Crocker asked himself tapping a finger against the panel of his fairy-detector in thought. "Drat! I knew I should have dressed up as a fairy for Halloween today – I could have proved the existence of fairies and used my magic to capture a real… FAIRY – GOD – PARENT!"
"Denzel! What are you doing down there?"
Crocker flinched. "Nothing, mother!" he shouted up to his mother back in the house.
"Well come up here, I want to show something to you," his mother commanded in a thickly accented voice.
Crocker's eyes widened. "Oh no! Mother dressed as a vampire to hand out candy to all those ungrateful little brats… That means… GAH!" Crocker cried out in alarm as the shadow of a bat fell upon his wall.
"I refuse to wait," his mother stated her fangs glistening.
"Quickly! To the emergency fairy-proof escape device!" Denzel declared raising his hand in the air. "GAH!" he cried again as he rushed over to a corner of his hideout and quickly pressed a large red button marked emergency exit.
The spring mattress hidden under the floor propelled him up through a new opening in the ceiling sending him tumbling through the night sky – his shadow-like flailing form zipped between the moon and the earth tossing a shadow of a pathetic little man over the pavement.
Crocker landed rather painfully in a pile of trash cans outside of Timmy Turner's house. "I must remember to fix that device," he said rubbing his backside slowly. "Now! To begin searching for Timmy Turner's… FAIRY – GOD – PARENTS!" Crocker shouted spazing out in the process.
"Oh look, boys, a tasty mortal treat for us to nibble on," the leader of a group of vampire children said barring her fangs.
"Mother's been busy," Crocker said nervously taking a step back from the vampire children. "You don't want me! My blood is weak and lifeless, filled with the stench of failure, wouldn't you rather drink the blood of someone else?" he asked with a disturbing looking smile on his face.
The lead vampire thought about it for a moment. "Nope," she said with an innocent little smile.
The group surrounded Crocker.
"Now I really wish I'd dressed up as something tonight," he said. The vampires jumped him. "GAH!" he cried out. "Not the face!"
Grumbling frustratedly Buffy stalked down the street trying to find someone she was familiar with to help her get to Giles' place before anything else could go wrong.
A car nearly ran her off the road as it was being chased by two large spider-demons that used to be innocent and cute adorable little children dressed up as spiders.
Buffy glared at them wishing she could kill them, but knowing it would be wrong. "Why is it I can remember everything?" she asked out loud. "Half these people don't seem to realize they're supposed to be human."
"Buffy!" Willow cried as she finally found her friend. Willow froze in mid-air and stared at her in shock. "B-B-Buffy?" she repeated nervously.
"Willow. I see you're a ghost," Buffy observed.
"What happened to you?" Willow asked hovering up to her bestest girl friend and studying her closely.
Buffy sighed in mute rage and shifted the weight of her head from one arm to the other. "I got decapitated in the sixteenth century… or something… I'm not sure if I'm actually dead because I don't feel dead. I also don't look transparent or like any of those zombies I've run across. So! I don't know exactly what to classify me," she informed.
Willow frowned briefly. "I suppose you could be like. Some kind of twisted version of the Headless Horseman… Or maybe your Slayerness prevented you from completely dieing like I did." Willow snapped her fingers – this resulted in a rain of water to start pouring down from the sky.
"Hey!" Buffy shouted. "What's with the waterworks?"
Willow snapped her fingers again halting the rain. "Sorry, Buffy! Sorry!" she said in a pleading tone. "Ever since I became a ghost I've had these weird water based powers… I think it's because the ghost me died from drowning."
Buffy visibly stiffened at that.
"Whoops," Willow said softly.
"Never mind that!" Buffy snapped trying to ignore the haunted memories of last summer. "Where's your body?"
"I don't have one anymore," Willow admitted. "I mean. I didn't see anything lying under the sheet when I left it. I met Death by the way, he seems really nice, that guy from the costume shop was killed somehow and guess what? Principal Snyder and Spike are both going to die tonight, so, hey… at least that's a plus. Right?" Willow smiled.
Buffy sighed. "That depends on who they get to replace Snyder," she pointed out.
"We'd better find Xander and get Giles to help figure out what happened to us," Willow decided trying to change the subjects. She really hadn't considered what was going to happen once Snyder was dead.
"I'm all for getting to Giles," Buffy said. "But I doubt we'll be able to find Xander in all this insanity," she pointed out with a shake of her neck. This almost caused her to drop her head. "I've got to stop doing that," she muttered.
Willow smirked. "Why don't we split up then?" she suggested. "Nothing can hurt me as a ghost. And if I find Xander we can meet you at Giles' place… Oh wait, didn't he say he was going to be in the library tonight until after the trick-or-treat thing?" she asked.
Buffy's neck made a nodding motion and her head tumbled to the ground rolling to a stop next to a fire hydrant nearby. "FUCK!" she cursed. "It took me forty minutes just to figure out how to pick me up," she groused.
Willow gently bent down to the ground and scooped her back up in her ghostly hands. "Just because I'm a ghost doesn't mean I can't touch things," she said. "Try not to do that again while I'm looking for Xander," she added.
"Whatever… It's hard not moving your neck when you want to," Buffy said with an exasperated sigh. "Thanks, Wills," she added taking back her head from her ghost friend.
Willow nodded and started off. "If you run into Angel try not to freak him out," she called back over her shoulder.
"Like I want to see Angel now," Buffy muttered. Her nose began to itch so she scratched it while carefully plucking a few twigs and leaves out of her long luxuriant hair. "When I find out what caused this I'm going to kill them," she vowed. "Either that or cut their heads off so they know how it feels," she added with a vicious gleam in her eyes.
Xander – the part of Xander that wasn't a Hyena-Hybrid Soldier – stirred from his restless state as he came to after a brief nap. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but after eating a whole case of fresh beef for the Double-Meat Palace he'd kind of dozed off.
Stirring next to him was a soft furry form – with a tail – Xander smiled as he remembered what else had happened.
That fond afterglow was shattered the moment the cat-woman next to him also woke up.
"Harris!" Cordelia Chase shrieked loudly as her gaze fell on him. And more importantly his lack of the soldier uniform he'd been wearing. "OH GOD! What did we do?" she shouted hissing and backing up from him.
"You weren't complaining about it earlier," Xander accused. But part of him was sick to his stomach. This was Cordelia Chase he'd slept with – Jesse's dream girl before he was murdered by a demonic vampire – it wasn't right that this had happened between them.
"Oh Ewwwwww! Just gross," Cordy said her tail flicking. She began to lick herself clean.
This made Xander's hair stand up and he smiled lecherously. "That preening is so wild," he said.
"Don't you touch me!" Cordy snapped claws exploding from her fingertips in her rage. "What happened to us?" she demanded. "Somehow I blame you… This never would have happened if Party Town hadn't run out of cat costumes. I just know you had something to do with it. I hope I can get my deposit back from that Ethan character," she said off-handedly.
"Cordy, you aren't in a costume anymore!" Xander pointed out.
Cordy stopped licking herself and shuddered. "Don't think I hadn't noticed! I do have eyes after all," she said. "Mother is going to have kittens."
"I think that ship has sailed," Xander quipped.
Cordy shot him a glare. "You're going to help fix this, Xander Harris. You and that freak club you belong to, Summers, Rosenberg, you're all going to get me back to my beautiful human self… Or else!"
"Or else what?" Xander demanded.
"Or else I'll press charges against you of rape and assault," Cordelia informed icily.
Xander stared at her in disbelief and angry disgust. "I should have known better than to mate with an inferior species," he declared.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cordy demanded.
Xander laughed and his laugh unnerved the dark furred cat-girl laying next to him. "Let's just say I should have gone with my first instinct as far as prey is concerned."
Cordy's slitted eyes narrowed with a dangerous sheen to them in the darkened Double-Meat Palace. "I'm higher up on the food chain than you are, laughing boy," she reminded beginning to stalk him.
Xander felt his Primal side beginning to submit to this sudden aggression. His eyes widened in surprise – he hadn't expected that reaction at all. "Right… Uh, Cordy, I think we're in some serious trouble right now. So why don't we forget whatever it is we did and just try and find Buffy, I'm sure she'll know how to deal with this problem," he said confidently smiling at the cat-girl.
Cordy's tail flicked softly and she inclined her head in a superior gesture. "Lead the way, laughing boy," she instructed.
Xander frowned slightly as Cordy smiled at him revealing something in her teeth. "Uh, Cordy, did you eat anything before we met?" he asked.
"What are you implying, Harris?" she demanded.
Xander indicated the small bit of cloth sticking out between two of Cordy's fangs. "Nothing. But you've got a piece of tie stuck in your teeth," he explained.
Cordy rubbed her belly briefly and made a disgusted expression. "Oh right. I thought that was a nightmare… Oh well, Principal Snyder didn't taste as bad as I thought he would."
Xander's jaw dropped at that remark. "Say that again?"
"I refuse to indulge your silly and time consuming request," Cordelia Chase informed haughtily.
Xander started laughing. "I would have paid good money to see you eating our Principal," he said.
Cordy grinned like a – well – a cat. "What can I say, I get hungry when I'm horny," she revealed.
Xander laughed all the way back outside. And Cordy wasn't unnerved by the partially insane laughter emanating from her recent conquest – that was the story and she'd stick to it – no way was she ever going to admit that she'd been taken in by Xander's charm. Or his 'other' attributes.
The demon known as William the bloody was a pile of ash. Drusilla had wisely not gone out with her lover – so she escaped his fate – unfortunately for Spike he'd been a little too eager to recruit certain creatures to help him locate what he perceived to be a helpless Slayer.
The glowing spectral woman standing over his ashes smiled as she ran a hand through her blue hair. "I don't know how I got here. But I'm going to find out," she said. "And maybe I can find a new source of power here to fan my flames," she added with a cunning little smile.
Summoning a guitar from the ether the spectral woman started to rise up from the ground. She bumped into another ghost dashing through the air – the two of them tumbled to the ground rolling around until they crashed into something solid.
"Ouch," the other ghost said.
"Why don't you watch where you're…" the spectral rocker froze as she caught sight of the other ghost. She was dressed in a provocative ensemble with a short skirt, a mid-riff bearing top and had her hair done up in a bun, plus she had some killer make-up. "Hi," she said with a winning smile.
"I'm so sorry!" the other ghost girl said nervously running a hand over her bun-hair. "Uh. I was trying to find somebody and I wasn't paying attention where I was going… Totally my fault," she said apologetically.
"Not a big thing," the guitar carrying ghost said with a bright smile. "So. What's your name?" she asked.
"Willow… Willow Rosenberg." The hot looking ghost girl said. "I don't think I've seen you around here before, do you go to our school?"
"No," the guitar carrying ghost replied shaking her head. Reaching out she took Willow's hand in hers. It sizzled and a shower of steam started to rise. "Hot! I like it," the ghost said.
"I'd better get going. I've got to find my friend," Willow said.
"Mind if I tag along?" the fire ghost asked innocently.
"Sure, why not?" Willow asked with a shrug. "I mean… I don't mind."
The fire ghost smiled sweetly and giggled. "How about sayin' my name, Willow?" she asked teasingly.
"But I don't know your name," Willow said glancing around distractedly.
The fire ghost played a few strings on her guitar. "Oh you will remember my name," she said. "It's Ember." And her hair flickered into a glowing blue flame with intense heat.
"Ember, nice to meet you," Willow said distracted once again as she continued to worry about Xander – so she didn't notice when Ember's form seemed to brighten with power.
"Oh. Oh! Yeah! Rock- on, Willow!" Ember said. "Let's go find this friend of yours," she added. "The more people saying my name the better off I'll be," she added to herself.
"Ok. Follow me, Ember," Willow said rising back up into the ground and rushing off.
Ember flared a second time. "I don't know how I got here from the Ghost Zone, but I think I'm going to like it here," she said inhaling Willow's scent as she followed after her. "Ooooo yeah, I'm definitely going to like it here," she added watching Willow's retreating backside hungrily.
To Be Continued Poof…
"We didn't even get to appear in this chapter," Cosmo complained.
"So? We'll be in the next one," Timmy reminded.
"Oh right." Cosmo cheered up.
"Do you think we should try and warn that Willow girl about the danger she's in letting that Ember ghost follow her around?" Wanda asked nervously.
"Nah… We'll just wish up a certain Halfa to help protect her," Timmy said.
"Oh no!" Cosmo exclaimed. "But we're supposed to be the crossover characters, not him!" he muttered.
Wanda sighed. "Timmy?" she pleaded.
"I wish this chapter was finished," Timmy said.
…
