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Chapter Two "Reluctant Cooperation"

Rick was sent to find Billy again. He was glad it was him because the others could be very clueless when it came to other people's feelings. But it did feel a little like he was spying on his friend. Of course, Michael and Casey were Billy's friends too, and if they weren't worried before, they certainly were now.

This time, Rick found Billy outside by the fountain. He was sitting on the ground against the basin reading something. As Rick came closer, he could see it was a worn old book with the name Sir Walter Scott on the spine.

Rick sat down on the edge of the fountain above Billy. He didn't say anything, but just sat in silence for several minutes.

Finally, he heard an almost inaudible sigh from Billy. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Nothing." Rick shook his head. "I just came to make sure you're okay."

"Well, I'm not."

Rick was shocked at Billy's honesty. Until now, the man had seemed unflappable. He talked incessantly, but never lost his cool.

"Do you need to go home?" Rick asked.

Billy looked up at him with a glare as if to say, suggest such a thing again and I will drown you in this fountain.

Rick backed off. He'd never seen Billy look so... affected. He was always light and flippant. Except sometimes when he was giving Rick advice, and then he seemed more like a big brother even though they were the same age.

"So," Rick said. "You like poetry?"

Billy frowned. "That's like asking if someone likes sunsets or music."

Rick shook his head. "Maybe for you."

"I find the rhyming couplet comforting."

"Is it helping?"

Billy shrugged and looked back down at the book in his hands. "Not really."

"Can I help?"

Billy looked at Rick again and then got to his feet. "You have," he said.

As they headed back to their office once more, Rick wondered if he had actually been any help. He had a vague idea of what Billy was feeling from all the holidays with his former fiance he had been forced to endure. Of course, it wasn't the same, but it was something. There was one thing, though, that really bothered Rick.

"You never got divorced?" he asked.

Rick was surprised when Billy answered. "Seemed like a lotta unnecessary paperwork."

Rick nodded, but he didn't really understand. And he had a feeling this was only the beginning of his confusion.

CHAOS

When Billy and Rick got back to the office once more, Michael and Casey didn't look particularly happy. Olivia was gone, but there was a stack of files on Michael's desk, and Rick got the feeling that she only left minutes ago, if that.

Michael got up from his desk and motioned for Rick to dissipate. He walked over to Billy's desk and leaned over it.

"Are you gonna be able to handle this?" he asked, quietly so the others couldn't hear.

"I'm handling it," Billy said, not looking at Michael.

"Well, pardon my lack of confidence in that statement. You don't seem to be handling anything."

"It won't happen again." Billy's voice seemed even quieter than before. Then he looked up at Michael. "We got a job to do, so let's do it and get it over with."

Michael sighed. There was nothing more to say. He knew Billy well enough that getting anything more out of him now would be impossible. Impossible for Michael maybe.

"Listen," Michael said. "You need to talk to someone. I don't care who; talk to Blanke for all I care. Just talk to someone."

Billy only nodded and Michael took that as a victory. Billy might just talk to himself, but it was something at least.

The ODS spent the rest of the day going over the information Olivia had left for them. The next morning, they would have a meeting with her and the rest of her team to determine the best course of action. No one was looking forward to that.

When they all finally decided to go home, no one was sure if they should say something to Billy or not. But he surprised everyone by walking over to Rick's desk.

"I've got something I need to do," he said, handing Rick a slip of paper. "Meet me here in an hour?"

Rick looked down at the paper and nodded. Billy smiled halfheartedly and turned and headed for the door.

"What'd he say?" Michael asked.

Rick looked over at him. "Just to meet him later," he said.

Michael nodded as if he knew something Rick didn't. "Good," he said.

CHAOS

Billy didn't exactly want to be cooperative, but it seemed the best thing to do for all concerned. He could worry about his own feelings on the matter later. So, he found himself outside the conference room temporarily reserved for their MI-6 guests. He knew full well who was on Olivia's team and he would try his best to ignore them.

Billy walked into the room unannounced and the four people at the table all looked at him in surprise. Harrington was the first to speak.

"What do you want, Collins?" he demanded.

Billy didn't even look at him. "Might I have a word with you, Operative Drummond?" he asked as politely as possible.

Olivia quickly recovered her composure. "Certainly," she said, getting up and moving toward the door. She brushed past Billy as she moved into the hallway. He tried not to think about it, but to no avail.

Once the door was closed and the two of them stood in the dark hallway, Olivia crossed her arms.

"Yes?" she asked.

Billy took a second to gather his words. "I wanted to say," he began, "that I hope there won't be any more interference in this mission."

A smile ghosted Olivia's lips. "I never wanted to make this difficult for you," she said.

Billy nodded. He wanted to say something about how she had always been that way, but he didn't. Olivia looked like she had more to say as well, but neither of the spoke for a good minute.

"Well," Billy finally said. "I'm glad to have that out of the way."

Olivia nodded. "And I'll beat some sense into Harrington if he acts up again."

"I'd really rather you let me do the honors."

Olivia smirked. That was the Billy she knew. And with that split second of happiness came all the years of anything but. She collected herself and headed back to the door.

"See you in the morning," she said.

CHAOS

Rick didn't have long to wait before Billy showed up at the out of the way bar he had directed Rick to. It was quiet and almost seemed like time stood still in the small room. Rick sat at a table with an untouched glass of water in front of him.

"You're gonna need more than that," Billy said as he sat down. Then he signaled the bartender who seemed to know him.

"Okay," Rick said. "Why am I here?"

"What, you hadn't guessed?"

Rick shook his head and Billy seemed reluctant to say more. So, he waited. When Billy finally did start talking, it wasn't what Rick had expected.

"When I was in the Secret Service," he began, "I did tend to break the rules. But not too much. Not enough to get into too much trouble, you know. That is, until... Well, I woke up one morning and the only reason I thought I had for staying out of trouble was gone."

Billy took a long drink and Rick wondered if he were going to leave it at that. But he didn't.

"So, I stopped worrying about what could happen to me," he said. "I didn't think it mattered anymore... but it did. I thought I had lost everything until I screwed up even bigger and then realized I hadn't, but it was too late. And the irony of it all is that it was all my own fault."

Rick didn't really understand, but he nodded anyway. He wasn't sure what Billy needed right then, but he would at least be there and listen. He had a lot of questions for sure, but all of them seemed far too intrusive.

"I'm sure you're wondering why," Billy said. "And that I can't tell you. But... but I was lying when I said I'm in a better place. The job maybe, but that's not all that important when it comes down to it."

Rick suddenly realized the pivotal question. It was extremely intrusive, but once it popped into his head, he couldn't get it out.

"Do you still love her?" he asked, before his brain could tell him to stop.

Billy looked across the table, his expression communicating that he had expected that question. But he didn't seem to have an answer. For a long time, he just stared until finally, he shifted in his seat and looked Rick in the eye.

"I can't answer that," he said. "I wish I could."