Chapter 2

He was floating in a mist of gray. He felt safe, and had no need to leave his secret place. He couldn't remember how long he had been here or how he had gotten there. He wasn't sure where he was, but he knew he was safe. He had hid when the other had come looking for him. He had been scared and felt that someone was trying to hurt him. They had tried to hurt him before, but he had gotten away from them and now he was safe.

Who was he? He couldn't remember that. Where was he suppose to be? Was he suppose to be in his secret place? He hadn't been here for a long time, he was sure of that, but how did he know that? He just did. This was his secret place and he had been here before. But when? He just couldn't remember. Why had the other come looking for him? Was he a friend or enemy? He wasn't sure. He had hid and not let the other touch him, but he was afraid that the other had known he was here. He would have to be careful and not let them find him. They had tried to hurt him, and he had gotten away, but this new other didn't seem to want to hurt him did he? He decided he had to be careful. If the other came back, he'd watch and decide if he'd let the other find him. Somehow, the other seemed familiar. But he would wait and see. He would not let anyone hurt him again.

Chakotay was sitting in the mess and wondering what they were going to do about Tom. The younger man was still in sickbay, and none of them knew if he'd get better. What had happened to the young pilot? How had his very soul been erased? Chakotay knew that without Tom at the helm and back to himself, the trip home would be quite dismal. He had in this very moment realized that Tom was truly the heart of the ship. He had always given his all to this ship and crew. He gave without a thought of himself, and his cheer and wit was what kept the bridge so well oiled and working. He was the binding tie to all the crew.

He looked up and saw Harry Kim enter the mess, a look of despair on his face. He along with B'Elanna had taken the news of Tom hard. Tom was after all his best friend and B'Elanna was the glue that held the two friends together. The crew use to joke that they were the three musketeers. Now Harry came over carrying his tray and sat down. He nodded to Chakotay, and absently took his fork and began to eat.

"Harry, how are you?"

Chakotay didn't like the look on the young ensign's face. He looked like he was very disturbed and he just shrugged and said

"I'm okay, commander...it's just hard knowing that something has happened to Tom and we don't even know what happened. Has the Doc finished his tests yet? Have you heard anything yet?"

Chakotay shook his head and said

"Nothing yet, but I'm sure the Doctor will be able to come up with a treatment."

He watched as the ensign continued to look at his tray. He had taken a couple of bites, but now was just pushing his food around.

"Chakotay, what if he can't? What if we never get Tom back?"

The anguish in his voice was quite evident. Chakotay reached out to place his hand on his shoulder and said

"I'm sure that the Doctor will come up with something. Also, Tuvok said he had plans to help and hopefully with them both working on the problem, we will get Tom back."

"Thanks Chakotay, I'm sure we will."

He took another bite and then said thoughtfully

"I wonder what they did to Tom to cause so much trouble? And why?"

Chakotay had been asking himself the same questions. What would make someone literally wipe out someone's being? What were they after? Was it the inhabitants of the planet? They had held position at the place they had recovered the shuttle and Tom, but in the forty eight hours they had been here, no contact had been made. They knew that they were aware of their presence, as they had scanned them twice, but had not made an attempt to contact them. They had tried several times, but were not answered, so they were not sure if they were even being received. The captain had decided to stay put for the moment and give the Doctor a chance to run his tests. Deep down, she knew that they would have to contact the planet to see if they could help. She refused to admit defeat. She was determined to do everything she could to help her pilot. The look of nothingness in Tom's eyes had haunted her dreams, and she wanted nothing more than to get him back.

The Doctor had been running tests all day on Mr Paris and he still did not show any upper brain function, but he had found a slight fluctuation in the lowest level of the brain, so maybe Tuvok was right, that Mr. Paris was still there. He certainly hoped so. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he really liked his assistant. And he was sure that Mr. Paris felt the same. He had been talking to Tom all day, and had watched those vacant eyes for any sign of recondition or comprehension, but the eyes held their vacant look. He wasn't sure if Tom could even hear him, but he continued to chat and hoped that something was getting through to the young man.

He had just finished a story of what was going on in engineering when the Captain came into sickbay.

"How is he doing Doctor?"

She had come over to see if Tom had gotten any better, but he was still just laying there with the same blank stare. His beautiful blue eyes had no life in them at all. None of the sparkle that defined the pilot. It broke her heart to see him this way. He had always been so full of life and now it was as if he wasn't even there. She looked deep into his eyes, but saw nothing. The Doctor came over and stood with her and said

"There has been no change, Captain, however, I have detected some activity in his lower brain function. I believe that Mr. Tuvok is right that somewhere within Mr. Paris' mind, he is there. How to bring him back though, I'm not sure. Although I'm not happy with the idea of a Vulcan mind meld, it may be the only thing we have."

Kathryn brushed a lock of hair off the Lt.'s forehead and said

"Tuvok will need to meditate for a while. He said he should be able to begin in a couple of hours. We can try our first meld at 2100 today."

The Doctor nodded and again looked at Tom. He hoped they would be able to pull this off.

Tuvok had meditated for two hours, and now he felt that he was ready to attempt the first try to reach the pilot. His first attempt had verified that Tom was still there but he was so hidden that Tuvok had had a hard time finding him. Now he was going to try and delve into the interior of Tom's mind to see if he could get closer than he had. The young pilot had a strong defensive mind and it was obvious that he had spent years building it up. Tuvok knew that Tom had a past, and that he had suffered from intense nightmares, but he had been surprised at how strong those defenses were. He knew he had a struggle ahead of him.

He entered sickbay to find both the Captain and Lt. Torres present. He had hoped to not have an audience, but decided that maybe he could use it to his advantage. If he could make contact with Tom, he could let him know that they were waiting for him. He nodded to the Captain and said to the Doctor

"I am ready to try and make contact with Mr. Paris and hopefully, make some progress to getting him to trust me."

B'Elanna was standing next to the bio bed, just stroking her husbands cheek. She had not seen a difference in him, and tears were welded up in her eyes. She had refused to let them fall, but she was determined to be here to help in any way possible to get her husband back. She had been here for over an hour now telling Tom of all the days doings. She had hoped he had heard her, but to look at him, there was no indication that he had even heard her. Now she looked at Tuvok and said

"Please, if you make contact tell him...tell him I miss him and want him back."

Tuvok looked at the Lt. and said

"I will endeavor to do so, but I must warn you, it may take quite some time...he has gone deep within himself, and it may take some time to gain enough trust to lure him out."

B'Elanna just nodded and stepped away, as Tuvok walked over to begin the meld. He closed his eyes for a minute, and then he reached for the points on Mr. Paris' face to begin the meld...

He was walking down what seemed to be a long corridor. There was a mist swirling around him, but it didn't have the dampness that he associated with mist or fog. He was trying to make contact with the presence he sensed. That presence was just out of reach and he could feel it retreating away from him. He still felt the terror and the only thing he could relate it to was that of a small child who was trying to hide from what they saw as a danger to themselves. He also felt the sorrow that a child hiding would generate. It was a strong emotion, and Tuvok was having a hard time blocking it out. He moved closer to the feelings, but suddenly, he came face to face with a large bald eagle. The bird was about ten feet in front of him and was intently watching him with bright yellow eyes. The bird cocked its head and said

"Why are you here? What do you want?"

Tuvok was not taken aback when the bird spoke to him, as in a mind meld, anything could happen, and being in the mind of a human increased that possibility. Tuvok raised his eyebrows and replied

"I am here to bring Lt. Paris back home."

The eagle nodded and said

"That is a big job, as he is hiding and will not come easily...you will need help. His friends will help but you must gain his trust."

"Can you tell me how this happened?"

The eagle shook his head and replied

"That is for him to tell you...but he is strong. His spirit is just hurting at the moment. He must trust you before he will follow you...have patience and he will trust."

The eagle began to fade into the mist as it got thicker, but Tuvok heard him say as he disappeared

"Do not give up."

He stood there in the increased mist and thought about what had just happened. Was this just a defense mechanism, or was the eagle a symbol of something else? It was a mystery that he would have to meditate on later. Right now he had to try to make contact. Taking a deep breath, he softly said

"Mr. Paris...I am only here to help you, but you must trust me to come home. Please Mr. Paris...you are safe, back on Voyager, and we all want you to come home. I can help you."

He waited to see if anything would change. He still felt the fear and distrust but it wasn't quite as strong as when he had first entered. He took a step closer, but suddenly he felt the fear and panic of a small child and he was suddenly thrown back as if a wave had hit him. He stumbled and almost fell. He could feel the walls go up, and knew he had done all he could right now. He had felt, that for a moment, the walls had started to come down. Now was not the time to push it. He would return. He began to retreat, and once he did, he felt the relief as he did. He now knew that he had a lot of work to do to reach the young man and knew he needed the help of the pilot's friends and family. Slowly, so he wouldn't startle Tom, he withdrew.

The other was back and trying to find him. He couldn't let that happen. He was scared and tried to push further away. He knew that if he came out that he would get hurt. He pushed himself against a wall and tried to make himself as small as possible. He would hide and not make a sound, and maybe the other would leave him alone. He tried not to whimper, but just as he thought he couldn't stop himself, something happened. He cautiously moved forward until he could see the other. He looked familiar, and he thought that he should know him, but he couldn't remember. Who was he? Was he a friend? Did he come to hurt him? He started to feel the fear rising in him and was going to slip back into the wall when he saw a large eagle appear in front of the other. Where had he come from? He was fascinated with the magnificent creature. He was so graceful and didn't seem afraid at all. He found himself wishing he could feel the same way, but he couldn't get past the fear. The eagle and the other talked and he watched as the other seem to listen to what the bird had to say. It didn't really make sense to him but the other seemed to understand. He watched with a growing feeling that neither wanted to harm him. As he watched, the bird began to disappear and this startled him. Where had the eagle gone? He had begun to feel some peace with the eagle there and now he was left alone with the other. He looked at the other as he called to him. His fear began to overwhelm him and he quickly retreated into the shadows. Had the other seen him? Was he safe? A sudden wave of fear came over him and somehow he knew that the other was now retreating. He sighed in relief and began to close his eyes and started to float comfortably in the gray mist. He was safe again and he could relax. He fell asleep thinking of the bald eagle and having a sense of peace. He was going to be okay.

TBC