She notices him the next day in the hall, and to her joy he walks straight toward her, a smile on his face.
"Are you doing anything tonight?"
She blanches. "What?"
"Are you free tonight?"
"Uh..." She shakes her head, trying to clear the thought that this question means anything more than the ordinary. "I was planning on going to the library."
His smile never fades. "How late do you plan on being there?"
"All night?"
"Perfect. I'll see you later."
He brushes passed her. She turns to watch him leave as though his vanishing form might somehow explain what the hell just happened.
It's impossible for her to focus on research. She finds a chair and a table in the library and places a stack of books in front of her, but beyond that she makes little progress. Her eyes refuse to take in the text, and her mind keeps wondering where Solas is and why he seemed so excited earlier.
At length, she leaves her table to find one on the upper floors. Maybe if she can distance herself from the front door, she might be able to focus better. When this too fails, she puts a pair of earbuds in her ears and tries to distract her wandering mind with music.
It works, but it doesn't help her studying.
It's hours before she's finally able to focus. And it barely lasts thirty minutes until she's pulled out of it by a hand on her shoulder.
"There you are!" Solas stands behind her with a backpack over one shoulder and a jacket tied around his waist. He wears a wide grin across his face. "Grab your stuff and follow me."
He's stepped away before she's even removed both earbuds from her ears. She gives the books up for a lost cause, shoves her notebook and music player into her backpack, and hurries after him.
"Solas, where are we going?"
"You'll see. Come on." He sounds practically giddy.
She follows him into the stairwell, then up three floors to the seventh level. He keeps walking, right up to the door marked, "Roof Access. Authorized Personnel Only."
"Um, Solas?"
"Don't worry," he says. "I do this all the time."
He lays his hand on the door handle. The lock clicks and turns without him touching it.
"How did you–?"
"I have friends," he says.
She follows him out onto the library roof. At seven stories up, they can see the whole of campus and surrounding Halamshiral. The Winter Palace glitters in the distance. More pressing though is the elf kneeling a few feet from her and digging a blanket out his backpack.
"Solas, if we're caught up here–"
"Don't worry," he assures her. "They only come up to do maintenance on the exhausts." He waves a lazy hand at the vents behind her. "And they did that last week."
She watches him as he lays the blanket out on the rough surface of the roof, then folds it over to make it thicker. "Solas, what are we doing up here?"
He doesn't answer right away, seeing to the blanket and making sure it's folded to his satisfaction. "Helping you with your research."
She stares at him.
He smiles. "Would you like to see the ancient origins of the Knight Enchanter specialization?"
Her eyes widen. "Are you serious?"
He nods, grinning.
She casts one last look at the door and one last thought on the worry of being expelled before rushing over to him. "What do I have to do?"
"Just make yourself comfortable." He gestures at the blanket on the ground, then pulls out and folds a second one for himself to lay on. He gives her his jacket to bunch up as a pillow, then bunches up his backpack to make one for himself.
"So," she says as he lays down beside her. "How is this going to work?"
"Basically," he explains. "We both hold an image in our minds as we fall asleep. It will be the same image. Thus, when our minds enter the Fade, we'll arrive in the same location. And I'll be able to pull your mind into lucidity, so you can walk around as I do."
"Okay. Sounds simple enough." Though, she wonders if she'll be able to calm her excitement enough to fall asleep. "What image do I need to think of?"
He waves his arms in front of him, gesturing out at the star-dotted sky. "Imagine a tall citadel, with spires reaching toward the heavens, entwined in harmony with nature upon a mountain face. Eluvians dot the area, and a waterfall runs through the center of it all."
It sounds miraculous, and she tries for a moment to picture it in her head before realizing they have a problem. "Solas, I can try to imagine that, but you've actually seen it. How are our images going to match up?"
"Oh! One second." He sits up and rummages through his backpack. "I forgot." He hands a crumpled paper depicting the image he just described in painted acrylics.
"Solas!" She bolts upright, running her fingers over the paper's surface. "This is..."
She turns to him. He cocks his head and blinks, as though he has no idea the significance of what she holds in her hands. "This is ancient elven technique. There are Dalish who couldn't do this justice."
"You flatter me."
"I do not." She returns to the paper and runs her fingers over it again. "How could you…?" But even as she voices the words, she knows the answer. He's seen and studied it in the Fade. "This art form takes the experts of my people half a lifetime or more to learn."
"I have more time than most people."
She turns to find him smirking at her. She wants nothing more than to smack him and insist he take this seriously.
He gestures at the blankets. "Shall we?"
Part of her wants to scream in exasperation. But the other part is ecstatic at the thought of experiencing ancient secrets in the Fade. She takes a deep breath and lies down. She holds the painting in front of her, taking another moment to marvel at it before committing it to memory and storing it under Solas' jacket under her head.
He smiles at her. "See you on the other side."
She closes her eyes and holds the image of the citadel in her mind. For some time, she can't sleep at all. A few glances to see if Solas has dozed off before her don't help. But eventually, her mind settles.
She's jerked into awareness. At first, she thinks she's awake until she realizes she's not on the rooftop but the mountainside in Solas' painting. He's holding her hand and doesn't let it go.
"Come on," he gestures toward the spiraling structure before them and pulls her toward a courtyard.
He releases her hand as to they come to what must be a training yard. Less than a dozen elves, mostly men but some women, battle each other on cobblestones. Their clothing is foreign, but there are adornments reminiscent of the Dalish.
The fighters face each other, one to one. Some carry staves, others melee weapons, all use magic. One warrior creates a glowing sword in his hand out of pure energy. Another imbues his knives with charmed flame. Others strike with a force impossible without magical aid. One woman hits her staff against the stone floor and a shield of pure will appears before her.
"There were called Arcane Warriors," Solas tells her. "The name for the technique was Dirth'ena Enasalin, 'knowledge that led to victory.'"
"Can they see us?" she asks.
"No," he tells her. "It's just a memory."
But it feels so real, the sounds of exertion from the warriors, the warmth of the sun on her skin, the smell of wildflowers and sweat…
They stand and watch until the sparring session is over. The warriors bow to each other, then disperse.
"Are you ready to go?" Solas asks.
"No." She laughs. "Can we explore?"
He grins like this was the answer he was hoping for. "Of course." He offers his arm, and she takes it.
They tour the corridors, discovering ancient tapestries, murals, and artifacts.
They peruse an ancient library with books written in an unrecognizable form of elven.
They travel the eluvians, jumping distances they couldn't have covered on foot.
They watch ancient beings perform mundane tasks that appear miraculous for the sheer novelty of the time period.
They sit on a bench in a courtyard and take in the mountain beauty. For a little while she imagines she's one of the ancient beings who belong to this world.
With a contented sigh, she drops from the bench onto the grass and lays on her back to look up at the clear blue sky. "Solas," she says. "This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever..." She doesn't know a word for what this is.
He joins her on the grass and sits. "You are quite welcome, lathallan. I've enjoyed having someone to share it with."
She turns her head to beam at him. "I could do this every night."
"I would treasure the company."
She laughs, then sits up so they are facing each other. "Do you ever… find it difficult existing between two worlds?"
He gives her a sad smile. "All the time."
Her hand finds his before she pauses to consider whether or not she should. Their fingers caress but don't entwine.
"It helps," he says. "To find things to ground oneself in reality."
"You mean people?"
He shakes his head. "Not usually."
"What about currently?"
He smiles, and she forgets about everything around them. The ancient elves and their secrets are nothing compared with the way he's looking at her. He raises a hand to cup the side of her face, and she leans closer to him.
Her lips meet his and find no resistance. In fact, she thinks she hears him sigh before pressing back. The hand against her cheek slides to the back of her neck as he kisses her.
All too soon, he's pushing her away. "We shouldn't. Not here."
She doesn't understand. "Why not here?"
He chuckles, and her heart flutters. "Do you want to draw demons to us?" He pulls her closer and whispers into her ear. "Wake up."
Her eyes open and she staring at the pale morning sky above the library building. She sits up to find Solas already up and waiting for her.
"Are you all right?" he asks her, smiling.
She nods. "Yeah."
She reaches for him, and they pick up where they left off, more eagerly with the threat of demons out of the way.
Eventually, she breaks away from him with a laugh. "I don't normally do this."
"Kiss men on illegal rooftops in the middle of the night?"
She turns back to him. "Something like that."
"This is..." He rubs the back of his neck. "Unusual for me as well."
"Maybe we… should hang out more." He laughs, and she hits him. "You know what I mean!"
"Yes, I know what you mean, and I would love to. But first..." He stands. "Let's get off this roof before light breaks and someone sees us up here."
They gather everything into his backpack, but she hesitates to let his painting go.
"Keep it," he tells her.
"Oh, no, I couldn't."
"Of course you can." He insists. "Keep it."
Her head is in a spin the entire drive back to her apartment. She can hardly believe everything they'd seen in the Fade… or what they'd done after the fact… or that she could feel so strongly for someone she hasn't known for very long.
All these things she holds in her head as she unlocks her apartment door and steps inside. Her roommate, Vivienne, smiles at her from the kitchen counter, up entirely too early as usual. "There you are!" Her eyes look her up and down, noting she's in the same clothes as yesterday. "Goodness, don't tell me you were at the library all night."
"No, I was with Solas." Too late does she consider the implications of her words. Alarm fills her as Vivienne's eyes widen.
"My, darling." She lays a hand on her chest.
"No, Vivienne!" She hurries, horrified. "I only–"
"No need to deny it, dear. I too have sought causal pleasures from time to time. Although, I suggest we find you more appropriate personage to engage with."
She puts a hand on her hip. "What's wrong with Solas?"
"Nothing's wrong with him, I'm sure," she says. "But certainly we can find you someone just as if not more pleasurable with higher standing."
She sighs. "Vivienne, this isn't what you–"
She gives a wave of her hand. "Say no more, darling! I am on the case." She slides from her chair and heads toward her room. "I suppose it would be important to you that he's elven... and it must be a he, yes? I'm sure I know someone who would..." Her voice trails off as she grows further away and eventually vanishes through the door on the other side of the living room.
Mithra stands stunned in the foyer, wondering if there's any way she can redo the past five minutes.
She looks forward to joking with Solas about Vivienne's interpretation of their night together, but when she catches him in the hall the next day, he turns down a different passage. She convinces herself he must have been in a hurry to get somewhere, but the remainder of the week turns out similarly. She doesn't understand why he'd feel the need to avoid her.
He doesn't meet her for dinner before heading to Varric's, and he arrives at the apartment five minutes after her. He won't meet her eyes.
Hurt as she is, she focuses on their characters for Varric's sake.
As Ellana and Fen talk on a balcony, Solas finally makes eye contact. "I haven't forgotten the kiss."
She isn't sure if he's roleplaying or talking directly to her… or both.
"Good," she says. Then, without breaking eye contact, she tells Varric, "I walk up to him… suggestively."
"Meaning?" asks Varric.
"Ellana wants another kiss."
"And what does Fen do?"
Something shifts in Solas' eyes. She doesn't know what it is.
He drops his gaze. "I… walk away."
"Roll a will save."
He does. 18.
"I grab his arm," she says. "Ask him not to go." She's not sure if she's roleplaying or something more.
"Roll again," says Varric.
Solas rolls a 2.
Varric chuckles.
Solas looks straight at her. "Ar lath ma, vhenan."
He stands from the table and walks out the front door.
Mithra and Varric stare at each other.
Varric jerks his thumb in Solas' direction. "I have no idea what he said."
"I do." She stands from the table and goes after him.
Solas stands still in the middle of the parking lot. If a car came down the street toward him, she's not certain he'd notice.
"Solas?"
He doesn't respond.
She moves closer. "Solas?" Only when she's standing next to him does he finally turn his head. "Are you okay?"
He averts his gaze, staring off into the distance. "Do you remember the Mage-Templar War?"
"Of course, I do," she says. "Everyone does."
He shakes his head. "There are children for whom it will be nothing more than a fact in a history book or a time they remember when everyone was scared but they couldn't understand why."
He doesn't elaborate, and she waits.
"I had friends," he tells her. "People I cared about, and who I thought cared about me. People I thought I could trust. When the war broke out everyone was terrified. Family turned on each other..."
He falls silent, and she moves closer to him. "What happened?"
He takes a deep breath and lets it out. "They reported me to the Templars." His hands curl into fists. "Templars who at that point were so far gone from the Chantry, who were killing mages and mistaken refugees for sport." He turns to her. "Do you know where I'd be if I hadn't ran?"
She can only stare at him open mouthed, the pain his eyes and the horror of the situation too much for her to come up with an appropriate response.
He goes back to staring into the distance. "I'm not sure I ever really… stopped running."
She lays a tentative hand on his shoulder, and that's when she notices he's shaking. "I'm so sorry, Solas."
He turns to her and gestures between them. "I don't know how to do this."
"It's okay." She pulls him into an embrace and holds him as tightly as she can.
"I'm sorry." His voice breaks.
"It's okay," she repeats.
The stand like that for a while, with Solas shaking in her arms and her hoping that maybe if she holds him tight enough some of the pain might go away. The only reason she lets him go is because a damned car comes toward them.
"Come on," she takes his hand and leads him through the row of parked cars to the edge of the asphalt where they sit with their feet in the grass. She pretends not to notice as he wipes his eyes.
Eventually, he turns to her. "It's been so long since I could trust someone. And I want to, but..."
"You don't have to explain, Solas. I understand."
He shakes his head. "I've been… I should have handled this better."
It's the truth, but she's not about to admonish him for it. "At least, you're talking to me now."
"I'll work on it," he tells her.
She moves closer to him so their shoulders brush. "What you said back there… was that for Ellana, or did you mean it another way?"
He smiles at her. "Would it scare you if I said it wasn't for Ellana?"
"I don't know," she admits. They haven't known each other for very long, but with how strongly she feels toward him... Does it make them fools to throw a word such as "love" around?
He looks away. "Scares the hell out of me."
She gives him a moment, then turns his face to hers. "Solas, what you've been through… I would never do that to you."
"I've heard that before."
"You've heard it from shitty people."
He actually laughs. "Perhaps."
"For certain."
They stare at each other. Solas raises a shaking hand to her cheek. She takes it and holds it firmly in hers.
"I'll work on it," he insists.
She hugs him again because it seems like the right thing to do. When they part, she takes his hand and pulls him to stand. "Tell me a story."
"About what?"
"Anything. Tell me about ancient ruins you found in the Fade."
"I can do that."
They walk the apartment complex, and she holds his hand. And she doesn't care if she's in for another long night that Vivienne will take to mean an illicit affair, or if Varric's still sitting at his dinning table wondering where the hell they went. And when Solas says, "Ar lath ma, vhenan" a second time and kisses her, she isn't afraid of falling in love right after him.
