Warning: Slash alert. Yaoi. You know the drill.
"So...how was your guys' night?"
"Oh...Uhm..."
"It was...er..."
Well...
It was interesting to say the least.
"Jiminy jaminy..."
"She gave us the room anyway! Even after we told her we weren't a couple!"
"Oh, I'm sure she just made a mistake..." Felix murmured, curiously inspecting more of their spontaneous sleeping quarters. Red velvet was obviously the theme...mixed in white, silver, and gold...and really, really fluffy carpet. "The floor looks so comfortable!"
"There's a reason for that..." muttered Ralph under his breath, face flushing as he caught sight of the mirror on the ceiling. Above the bed. Those sick people...
"I almost wanna get on my knees and touch it everywhere!"
"...and there's the reason," sighed the wrecker, scowling at the rose petals all over the floor. They kept getting stuck between his toes and it was just so annoying...
"What's in this red box?" the lighter brunette wondered as he picked up the object in question. He inspected it carefully, checking each individual side as though expecting to see a clue. When he found none, he shrugged and slipped the lid off. "Ooh. These wrappers look real fancy...I think they're lollipops...but without the stick!"
"Give me that, Felix!" Ralph suddenly called sharply, pulling the offending item away from his best friend's hands. The smaller man blinked at him innocently, eyes wide in surprise. Blushing uncontrollably, the wrecker firmly sealed the box, ignoring the tiny complaints from his companion. He glanced around the room for a place to hide the devious little thing, his eyes finally landing on the closet door.
"Ralph! I was looking at that!"
"There's nothing worth looking at!"
"Then why are you hiding it? What's wrong with the lollipops?"
"They're not lollipops, Felix!" groaned Ralph exasperatedly, tossing the box on the highest shelf of the empty storage space. When he checked back on the handyman, he inwardly panicked.
Felix was looking through everything.
Everything.
"This fridge is all nifty...but why's ours filled with whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"
"There're handcuffs in this drawer! Maybe some cops slept here before us!"
"More lollipops!"
"These chocolates have funny words on the wrapper!"
"What's 'lube'? The bathroom has tons of it!"
"These people must really like lollipops..."
"Are you okay, Ralph? You're on the floor and your face's all red..."
Why. Did. Felix. Have. So. Much. Energy?
And what perverts designed this room?!
"Felix...if you care at all about my well-being, you will stay put and leave this stuff alone," Ralph all but hissed, frustrated and overwhelmed. At his unintentionally-harsh tone, Felix shrunk back, his features undeniably hurt. He frowned and lowered his head in shame, pulling his hat over his eyes.
"Sorry...I'll be quiet now..."
But Ralph, alarmed by the sudden sullenness of his counterpart's words, immediately bolted upright and vigorously shook his head. "Hey...no, that's not what I meant! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap."
"No, it's fine...I guess I was acting too squirrelly, huh?"
"No! You didn't do anything wrong! You're perfect!" blurted the larger man suddenly, making the both of them blush red. He tripped over his words, sounding nothing less than an absolute bumbling baboon. Felix, for his part, smiled goofily and tipped his hat at his partner cutely.
"Shucks...thank you, Ralph!"
"Y-yeah...uhm...maybe we should sleep now... Like you said, big day ahead of us and all..."
"Good point! I'm tired again..." chuckled the fix-it man, pulling his cap off. He yawned and turned towards the bed, only to pause in his actions as a new problem surfaced:
Their sleeping arrangements.
The thing with a heart-shaped bed was that there were no determined 'sides'; towards the ends, it curved, leaving them with less-than-satisfactory foot-room if they chose to sleep there. In other words, they both actually needed to scoot in the very middle to make this whole thing work. Especially since Ralph was giant.
"Uhm..."
"Do you want me to sleep on the floor, or...?"
"No, no! We can fit, Ralph. It'll just be a little snug and tight in there..."
Ralph knew he'd been spending too much time with Zangief and Satine when the first thing he thought was "That's what she said!"
He really should stop going to Tapper's with his friends...
"C'mon, Ralph, join me on the fluffy bed!" Felix beamed, tugging his hand towards the four-poster. Ralph stared at their joined hands in unexplainable giddiness, getting way too many emotions from the simple act than he should have. Friends didn't hold hands...friends didn't make each other feel like this.
And they were just friends, right?
Surely these feelings were platonic...
Otherwise, that would mean that he saw Felix the same light the little hero saw Calhoun. Would mean that he might actually like Felix in that way. Would mean that there was a tiny possibility that he was in love...with...
H-ha! What a stupid idea. He didn't love Fix-It Felix, Jr. like that.
...
So why did it feel so right to climb into bed with him? Why was he so warm and happy to have Felix pressed up against his body as they attempted to find a reasonable spot to sleep on? Why did he love the way the handyman grinned and whispered "G'night, best friend!" to him and him only, with those shining baby-blue orbs and cute round nose...and...and...
What was going on?
"...good night...Lixie..."
"Hello? I asked a question."
"It was good," Ralph replied tightly, spearing three sausages with his fork and cramming everything into his mouth. "'ere fn."
"Wreck-It Ralph!" reprimanded Felix quickly, glaring in disapproval at his friend's actions. "Don't talk with your mouth full! And on that note, take smaller bites!"
"Listen to your wife," Calhoun evenly stated, taking a swig of her black coffee. She smirked at Ralph when he threw her an annoyed look, unfazed.
"Can we go swimming today?" interrupted Vanellope, no longer interested with whatever the adults were arguing about. Plus, she disagreed with what Felix had said; her eating habits were just as impressive as Ralph's, if not better. "I think they have a slide and everything!"
"Sure, we could do that first," agreed the handyman, scooping a forkful of eggs into his mouth. He glanced over at his counterpart to ask for his input on that day's activity, but stopped short when he noticed the other man's sloppy state. "Jiminy jaminy! Your mouth's a mess!"
"Wha?"
"Chew, don't speak." Tutting, Felix grabbed a napkin from the table and climbed onto Ralph's knee, carefully dabbing at the food stains around his friend's lips. The wrecker's face immediately reddened deeply at the rather domestic act, and he forced his eyes away from the very-focused handyman.
All this Calhoun carefully noted, something she couldn't say she was quite pleased about. "Fix-It," she barked in annoyance, startling the man in question into dropping the napkin, "sit down, soldier. You look silly."
"Oh." Finally realizing the implication of his actions, Felix sheepishly grinned at both his girlfriend and best friend, clambering back down to his seat. His face was noticeably pink, but that had little to do with the fact he'd been caught.
Ralph...has the prettiest eyes.
Why hadn't he noticed before? They were gorgeous. Chocolate brown, expressive, so, so perfect...
Uhm. Or so he'd been told. Yeah.
That was it.
"I think I'll go back to bed," Ralph suddenly announced, jumping to his feet. Vanellope dropped her spoon of pudding in surprise and gaped at her closest friend.
"What? You can't leave now! We're going swimming, remember?"
"You guys go ahead," mumbled the brunette with a sigh, shaking his head. He hated going against Vanellope's wishes; he tried as often as he could not to do so. But right now, his friendship with Felix was at stake. He needed to sort this out first. Fun later. "I'm tired."
"You just woke up!"
"Well, I need more sleep." Dismissively, he walked off, waving over his shoulder. His heart clenched painfully when Felix stared at him in disappointment, his eyes unlit. He held a hand up in farewell, though, but that only lasted until Calhoun reached over and touched the side of his cheek...
Damn it, Ralph thought as he scrambled into his room, the image of the couple still fresh in his mind.
He grabbed the 'do not disturb' sign from the doorknob and hung that outside, his mind still reeling.
Felix was dating Calhoun.
Felix had a girlfriend.
How could he forget?
Of course he'd never feel the same way. Of course those friendly gestures meant nothing, held no significant implications.
Of course Ralph was insane for even considering the possibility that...that...
No! He wouldn't even think about it.
He was just going to stay locked up in this room—this taunting, unmerciful room—until he could sort himself out.
...Well, as sorted out as he could get, anyway.
A soft knock on the door woke him up from his conflicting thoughts. He panicked for a spilt second, before diving into the bed and throwing the covers around him. Ironically enough, he found his face buried into the shirt Felix wore yesterday, the smell of the handyman still fresh...so very enticing.
Kill me now...
"Ralph?" a tentative voice spoke, the sound of the door closing accompanying it. "You okay, buddy?"
Buddy, thought Ralph disdainfully, screwing his eyes shut and attempting to even out his breathing. He must've done a pretty good job fake-sleeping, for he heard Felix sigh and mutter, "Good job, Felix...he couldn't sleep last night all thanks to you..."
Ralph felt bad for that. Almost bad enough to conveniently wake up and assure his friend that his presence wasn't the reason—
Well. Actually, it was. But not because it was uncomfortable or awkward. If anything, it had felt too good, and Ralph hadn't been able to sleep because he'd been trying so very hard to not reach over and...pull him into his arms.
For body heat. I-It was cold last night.
Yup. That was the only reason he wanted to hold Felix's tiny, precious body and keep him close to his chest and—
Uhm…
He said body heat, didn't he?
Tugging the sheets closer around himself, he let out a tiny breath. He heard Felix shuffle around the room wordlessly, probably looking for his swimming trunks. Ralph sincerely hoped he wouldn't peek inside the box again... It was doubtful that he could handle hearing any more about those "weird lollipops".
"Sweet dreams, Ralphy," he suddenly heard a soft, gentle voice whisper beside him, a hand patting his head carefully. Ralph almost forgot how to breathe then and there, almost dropped his unconscious charade. He barely kept it together, and it was fortunate that Felix stepped out of the room almost instantly after that questionable parting.
"...he…called me 'Ralphy'..."
And those words—plus that rather affectionate, fleeting touch—were all he thought about for the next hour.
Even after he'd already dozed off.
"I love you." Kiss. "I need you." Embrace. "You're all I want."
"Felix..." he gasped, falling on his back. They were in the middle of a game. On the roof. He couldn't break character now. "What are you doing? Th-They can see us!"
"Shh," the handyman silenced him, holding a finger to his lips. "Nobody else matters. Just you and me, gorgeous."
"G-Gorgeous?" he stammered, unable to move. Terribly confused, he could do nothing but watch the hero of his game crawl onto his stomach, scooting so very close to his face that they could count each other's eyelashes.
"Kiss me again...tell me how much you love me..."
"B-But...I don't..."
"Really? Sorry, but I don't believe you." Felix grinned mischievously at him and grabbed the sides of his face, their lips now centimeters apart. "Let me change your mind anyway."
He awoke to an armful of pillow and a rather sweaty body.
For a long moment, he just laid there, staring blankly at the ceiling mirror's reflection.
He saw a red-faced, worn-out fat guy with a bucketful of conflicting, confusing emotions.
That poor loser...
Groaning, he tugged at his chafing, uncomfortable clothes in annoyance, his body warm and overheating beneath them. Perhaps a nice cold bath would soothe his nerves...
God...what was up with that dream?
He and Felix acted so...coupley. And goo-goo ga-ga for each other.
They weren't like that...
He didn't want him to be like that...
...right?
The bad thing about moving about just seconds after waking up was that one tended to be a little...off and oblivious to the world around them when they did. Like Ralph, for example, who carelessly walked into the bathroom, rubbing his eyes and yawning, without even noticing that the shower was already on and occupied.
It wasn't until he caught sight of an unaware, bathing Felix did he realize that maybe he really should've pulled his act together first before getting up.
But, oh boy, was he wide awake now.
Because this was the Honeymoon Room and the designers of the place were perverts, there were no shower curtains or things of the like. Instead, a see-through, clear glass cylinder surrounded the shower, placing the occupant on clear display, where everything was visible.
Assuming that said occupant was bare naked.
Felix, however, was not.
He was safely clad in dark-blue swimming trunks, having obviously just gotten back from the indoor pool.
To Ralph, this was both a blessing and a curse.
Commence drooling.
Felix was beautiful. Gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous. His skin was perfect and smooth and creamy, droplets of water clinging everywhere, looking like sweat (he got way too excited from that than healthy). His hair wasn't anally tidy as usual but wet, all over his forehead, covering parts of his eyes. And his physique! Who knew he was hiding all that muscle underneath his simple work clothes?
His biceps were especially perfect. They weren't overwhelmingly large and unrealistic, but noticeably visible and proportional to his tiny body. (And this pretty much went for the rest of the muscles all over his hot body).
No doubt from all the fixing he did everyday...
What else can he fix?
And that was when it came to Ralph that his thoughts were slowly becoming less platonic and more unhealthy.
Because it wasn't very platonic to want to jump into the shower and pull Felix into his arms and get rid of those stupid swimming trunks and...and...
I'd wreck that.
He wasn't just admiring his best friend's physical appearance anymore...
He was desiring it.
And not in an envious manner, either. Not in the same way he used to want Felix's life back before he went Turbo.
No...
This was completely different.
And it terrified him.
For the whole rest of the day, he couldn't stop thinking about Felix.
How nice he looked...how adorable he was in general...how everything he did was just so freaking nice and thoughtful and...gah!
Why couldn't Ralph get him out of his mind?!
"Hey, Ralph," the majestic little angel asked him with wide majestic blue eyes and an equally as majestic smile, "what do you wanna do for the rest of today?"
And that majestic voice. Like a thousand angels singing in a wondrous symphony.
...either he was really in love or he had too much access to root beer...
Or maybe a little of both...
You, was what Ralph wanted to say, out of the cheekiness from the drink. But what really left his mouth was, "Whatever you want."
Which, at this point, he hoped was him.
Bad Ralph.
"Well, honestly, I just wanna sit back and relax with my best friend," bashfully admitted Felix, smiling deliciously at him from his perch on the edge of the bed. With his freshly-showered hair—his messier-than-usual, mind-numbingly naughty-looking hair—and that charming grin on his face (plus the fact that Ralph couldn't stop thinking of his naked chest), it was a wonder he that hadn't been pounced upon sooner.
So it wasn't all that surprising when his giant-fisted predator finally did decide to pounce.
The larger program, still under the spell of root beer and infatuation, gave him a bold, daring smolder, eyes half-lidded, tongue poking out. He licked his lips and waggled his eyebrows as he bluntly checked Felix out, heart hammering away in his huge chest. With a shaking hand, he dropped the now-empty glass bottle onto the floor with a thunk, a bit uncoordinated.
"R-Ralph?" Felix stammered, frozen in place as he watched his closest friend saunter over to him, still with that lecherous smirk. His face was in flames, his heart a train loosing control as it plummeted down a steep hill. He could do nothing but gape as Ralph bent down, pressed their noses together—oh land, it felt warm, amazing—and brought their lips so close that they could feel each other breathing.
Closing his eyes, not quite sure what was going on, the handyman leaned in, surprisingly eager for what he didn't know was to come.
Ralphy...
But they never touched, never got to feel the much-talked about fireworks.
He only got an awkward "sorry" and a tired sigh.
What?
"...Ralph...? Where are you going...?" Felix asked breathlessly, watching the wrecker pull away slowly with a pained grimace on his face. He reached out to grab one of Ralph's fingers, but the taller of the two had already withdrawn and was heading for the exit.
"I-I'm taking a walk. Don't wait up..."
Without a backwards glance, he left, the door shutting tightly behind him.
"...Ralphy...?"
"I almost kissed him! I practically forced myself onto him!"
"Mmm...but that's natural, isn't it? Aren't you supposed to feel that way towards your husband?"
"Listen, lady, I'm tellin' you for the last time! We are not married! We aren't even dating!" Ralph huffed, slamming his root beer mug down onto the bar. He scowled at the grinning Melissa The Manager—who was now playing bartender—wondering to himself why all the females he knew were so aggravatingly stubborn.
Or at least really persistent.
"You sure? I'm getting those vibes," the tall brunette giggled, sliding down a few drinks to a group of rumbunctious men on the other end of the bar. She only smiled when Ralph continued to glower at her. "Anyway, what did he think about the almost-kiss?"
"I...I don't know..." mumbled the giant man hesitantly, his voice weak and lost. He buried his face in the expanse of his hands, groaning dejectedly. "I left before he coul—"
"Woah, woah, woah! Time out! You left him like that?"
"What was I supposed to do?"
"You could've stayed," incredulously pointed out the manager, waving her arms in emphasis. "You could've went through with it."
"I don't think you understand; he's my best friend! He has a girlfriend and he's waaaay to good for someone like me—"
"You're perfect for each other! Anybody can see that!"
"We aren't—" Ralph began, only to be cut off when Melissa all but shoved a solid brass key in his hands. He raised an eyebrow questioningly, which she quickly smirked to.
"Ever taken a nice stroll in the moonlight?" she asked lightly, leaning closer to him from the other side of the bar as though sharing one of her darkest secrets.
"Er...no, I don't think I have..."
"You should. I find that it helps with realizations and confessions." She gave him the thumbs up, winking. "Especially when two parties are involved."
"What are you—?"
"It's a shame that this place is always in daylight, though," continued on the manager with a devious glint in her eye, drumming her fingers on the counter. She pointedly stared at the key she'd just given him, something he successfully caught on to. For once. "But if you go through the back door—near the elevators—and follow the path up the hill, you'll find a nice little dome with a door that this key just so happens to open."
Ralph openly gaped. "You want me to what now?"
Melissa crossed her arms rather victoriously, already sensing that she'd just won her argument. If it was even an argument in the first place. "I want you to find your man and ask him..."
"...to take a stroll with you?" Felix wondered as they leisurely made their way down a clear path hidden behind the hotel. Keeping up with Ralph was an arduous task for the little handyman, seeing that he was only about a tenth of the size as his so-called adversary. To any onlookers, he might as well be jogging. "Ralph?"
"Huh?"
"I asked you why you wanted me to take a stroll with you," patiently repeated the light brunette, his face warm with honeyglows. He didn't dare look Ralph in the eye, lest he embarrass the both of them.
After all...ever since the spontaneous and heated incident that had occurred a few hours ago, he couldn't help but stop and notice things about Ralph that he never had before.
Like how Ralph had an extremely handsome face and extremely enticing, messy hair in the most amazing shade of brown. How Ralph had a smile that just melted him into goo, how sweetly quirky the gap between his top front teeth was. How Ralph's body was actually quite desirable despite him being nine-hundred pounds, how his huge hands—soft and calloused at the same time—just added to his general appeal. How his overalls fitted so adorably on him, how his bare feet looked like the most precious things ever...
Goodness gracious, Felix just wanted to hug him and never ever let go...
"Eh...I just figured if Vanellope and Calhoun can have their girls' day thing, why not have one, too? But for guys. W-we're guys," he added quickly, his voice faltering as his neck and face and ears began to redden. He kept his eyes facing straight ahead, in fear of acting impulsively, of perhaps acting it out on Felix. Fortunately, they were already halfway up the hill, the sunlight not quite as severe as they neared the top. It was amazing how many trees and plants they had growing around here; he'd never seen so many in his life.
"Aww, do you have the honeyglows, too?"
"N-no!" Ralph scoffed, unintentionally picking up his pace, leaving poor tiny Felix several paces behind. He pretty much had to run to catch up, but he remained grinning. "It's just really hot out."
"You think so?"
"Yeah. Phew! We need shade." He paused then, pointing casually to the dome a few feet away that Melissa had directed him to. "Hey, why don't we go over there?" In that convenient, totally-random, I-had-no-idea-existed building.
"Are we allowed to?" anxiously whispered Felix as they approached the metallic double doors, glancing around for any signs of bystanders in a manner not unlike of a shy bookworm hanging out with the school bullies for the first time.
Ralph inwardly chuckled at his friend's innocence, discreetly slipping the key from his pocket and sliding that into the lock. It opened with a soft click, granting them entrance. Heart pounding away in his ribcage, he grabbed the hesitant Felix with one hand and hurried into the complete darkness of the room.
"Woah! You gotta tell me before you do that, Ralph! It scared the jeepers out of me..."
Click.
All at once, the lights came on.
But not just any lights.
Stars.
The darkness around them was oddly similar to the twenty-four hour darkness back home at the Fix-It Felix, Jr. game. The only difference, however, besides the infinite expanse of stars covering the night sky, winking happily at them, was the large, breathtaking pure-white full moon. Silently majestic, silently shining.
Moonlit stroll, huh?
"I've never seen it like this before," gasped Felix as he took in the midnight scenery, removing his blue hat and holding it to his chest. He scooted closer to his counterpart until their sides were touching, his arm against Ralph's hand. Shyly, he nuzzled him. "It's beautiful."
The wrecker ripped his gaze from the captivating sight to stare at his friendly companion, whose face shone in the moonlight, whose baby-blue orbs sparkled in the glow. When they met each other's gazes, Ralph's jaw slacked, his heart lost control. "Yeah," he choked, falling down on one knee, placing a hand behind the other's back, his eyes never leaving Felix's awestruck face, "you are."
And that was the last thing he remembered before they both closed their eyes, leaned in, and pressed their lips together for the first time.
Endless fireworks.
A/N: I love Ralph x Felix. In case that wasn't already painfully obvious x)
I am the pervert who designed the Honeymoon Room, Ralph. You might like it now, though.
As for the shower scene, all credit goes to the awesome Melissa Felton 8. I wouldn't be able to come up with that on my own~
I would think that Felix is so painfully innocent that he doesn't know half of the things going on in the Room. Like those stickless lollipops. Lol.
I'm gunna try to update sooner. Just a bunch of things came up this week... UGH.
Just a quick little note: upon further inspection of Felix, I came a rather late conclusion that he is, in fact, a brunette. But because I'm lazy, I will leave my other fics alone in which I called him blonde. Just a heads-up there xD
Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. Le sigh.
