So dealing with Nightmares is the easy thing... I mean, being the er... person I am. I have the ability to deal with them like Jamie does. Not hard to turn Nightmare sand back into dreamsand. At least not for me, but as it turns out... it wasn't Pitch who was the problem...

Apparently there's another side to Jack who calls himself Jakul. This side of his power is ... not nice, to say the least.

As much as I want to help Jack deal with Jakul... I've started to have doubts about my ability to... see, I'm mortal and that means I have my own darkness to deal with too. To keep her from taking control of me at any time... I haven't given her a proper name. She calls herself Shadow. Jakul is dark and might want to rule the world, but Shadow... she's way worse. She doesn't want to rule it, she wants to watch it burn...

Being an adult, I've seen, read, experienced things that Jack/Jakul never would have really... I know things that would make most people shudder and while I love Jack like a little brother... I'm reluctant to do what needs to be done in order to track him down now that Jakul is in control.

Don't get me wrong, Jakul is a threat to everyone; he needs to be stopped, but letting Shadow take over me just to find him... that could have consequences I'm not sure the world could live down... Then again.. I hope I can trust that the Guardians - Jack included - can stop her. Of all the Guardians... Jack might be the only one with the means to destroy her for good...

I know too well I'm speaking of my own death here as well, but it's a chance I have to take... I have to help Jack... if that means ending my own life... well, so be it.

This might be the last time I'm able to tell anything about Jack or even anything of myself... I don't know what will happen when I let her have the control she wants so... if you're still reading this... just know that I had the best of intentions in my decision and please try not to hold against me whatever it is that Shadow does.

Thank you for staying with me this long. Well... here goes nothing.