Set post-7.01 The Best Man.
Announcment
Barney finds himself outside, doused in the quiet of the balcony. He spots Lily nearby, obviously avoiding the noise and chaos the reception her husband has ruined. Barney saunters over to her, and- adopting a gruff Cockney accent- says, "So, you're up the duff, then?"
Lily glances round at him, nods and Barney switches back to his normal voice to say, "Finally. S'it mine?"
She pulls an oh-very-funny face, and Barney says before he thinks about it, "You know, this is the first pregnancy I've ever been pleased about,"
"Sweet," she retorts snarkily- but the more Lily considers it, the more she thinks how empty Barney's life is. Of course he doesn't see it that way, but it seems bleak to her that his default reaction to the words "I'm pregnant" is panic, stress and chain-smoking.
For the first time, her hands go instinctively to her abdomen.
"Can you feel it?" asks Barney, eyes wide. Lily shakes her head,
"Not for ages. I'm only a few weeks gone,"
He nods thoughtfully, and asks, "Can I try…?"
She narrows her eyes at him.
"I promise I won't cop a feel or anything! I just want to see if I can feel it move,"
"I told you, you won't,"
He gives her a pleading look.
"Fine," she concedes, "Go on,"
Barney drops to his knees in front of her, wraps his arms round her waist and puts his ear to her stomach. He clenches his eyes shut in concentration- but there's nothing. No sound of the little life growing inside her. Marshall and Lily's sex Barney reflects, is about love, and this baby's made from that love. He bites his lip, and feels relived that he doesn't understand.
"It's a dude," he states, looking up at Lily.
"How could you possibly know that?"
"Heh. Please,"
She rolls her eyes.
"Hey, in 21 years and, um, eight months, we are gonna be the most legendary uncle-and-nephew unit of all time!"- then he catches himself- "I can be his uncle, right?".
The uncertainty in his voice is touching, "I mean, not for reals obviously, but he can call me uncle, can't he? Please?"
His face is both hopeful and fearful, like Oliver Twist asking for more in the workhouse. Not for the first time, Lily reflects what a sweet little boy Barney Stinson must have ben. A nightmare one too, of course- she can compare him to any number of devils she's taught in her class over the years- but a sweet one, all the same. Lily touches a hand to his bony face and says softly, "Of course you'll be an uncle,"
His face lights up and he presses a kiss to her stomach like Marshall did before. Then he catches himself, freezes, and abruptly jumps to his feet.
"If you tell anyone I did that," Barney hisses shiftily, "I will make sure that your son doesn't get laid until he's at least thirty,"
She laughs and pushes him affectionately, "Is Barney Stinson getting soft in his old age?"
"Old? I'm twenty-eight! At least that's what I told the chick in the pet store last week- what up! And second- I am not soft. I'm hard 24/7, know what I mean?" his eyebrows wriggle, then he adds defensively, "And just cos I'm glad you're having a baby and I'm glad that Nora called me back, doesn't mean I'm turning into Ted,"
Lily bites her lip and wonders how to broach the subject of Nora and Robin with him. She's glad Barney's sorted out the mess he made with Nora, and that he's apparently trying again…but there's unfinished business between him and Robin. Anyone who'd seen that dance could see how much kinetic passion there is between them. And it may just have been the angle she was standing at, but Lily's fairly sure that that dance looked to be ending in a kiss before Barney's phone rang. It might be the hormones talking, but Lily can't see this predicament ending well. For anybody.
"Barney, I was-" but the words fade before she can get them out.
She'll have to consider carefully how to discuss this with him. Explaining to a man who doesn't believe in love that he's in the centre of a love triangle will require planning. He may well just take it as an ego-boost, rather than an actual emotional problem.
"Never mind,"
Silence settles. Barney scuffs his shoes in the gravel, mulling over Lily and Marshall having a kid. A few years ago, he'd have thought that having a baby around would ruin everything- although now it might actually be okay. Barney, Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin and Barney (because they'll name their child after him, right?). He can teach the kid how to be awesome- let's face it, which those parents, the baby'll need all the help he can get. Barney can buy him suits and inappropriate birthday presents like he does with Eli, and in a few years they can play Laser Tag together.
Yup, this new baby might be pretty legendary indeed.
Lily touches a hand to where the baby's growing again. She still can't believe it, but she thinks that she and Marshall are ready for it. She hopes so, anyway- and even if they're not, Ted's so dad-ish already, and he'll drop everything to help them out if they need it. Ted can be their baby's cloying, museum-visit, books-as-birthday-gifts uncle; Robin can be its has-a-cool-job-on-TV aunt, and Barney can be its crazy-suit-up-laser-tag uncle. That's all the bases covered, surely?
She glances Barney kicking a stone with his toe, and thinks that in many ways he still is that sweet little boy. Not the cynical sex-addict part of him; the wild and unstoppable and mad-ideas part of him who can't be talked out of any scheme no matter how ridiculous it is. She reckons he's the kind of guy who any kid should have around.
"You'll be an awesome uncle," says Lily quietly. Barney turns and smiles at her- and in all her life Lily's never seen him look so proud.
Thanks a million for reading. Anyone who reviews is totally awesome ;)
