"What are you eating?"
"I have no idea, I found it in the fridge this morning."
"It's brown."
"I noticed."
"What does it taste like?"
"My brain keeps trying to answer that same question."
"That's not a good sign."
"Meh, it's food."
"IT'S MOVING!"
"Liar."
"Worth a shot."
"So why are you here Mustang?"
"I came to give you an assignment."
"You could have waited till I was in the office. Why come here now?"
"I missed you."
"Awww. I feel loved. Can I have a kiss?"
"No."
"What? Why?"
"I'm not putting my lips where that brown gunk has been."
"So your discriminating against my lunch?"
"Maybe."
"Fine. No sex for you."
"How did we get from brown gunk to using sex as blackmail?"
"It's us. It's going to happen weather we know it or not."
"So no sex then?"
"Nope."
"What if I said please?"
"What if I eat more of the brown stuff?"
"Ed. It's me or the brown gunk."
"But, my heart is torn. I can't decide. If you love me you wont make me decide."
"What if I promise to wear the tie and nothing but the tie?"
"I'm sorry brown gunk. It never would have worked out anyway."
"So you're breaking up with your lunch?"
"And I'm even going to brush my teeth."
"Tie wins every time."
"Hey Roy?"
"Hm?"
"I think you forgot a very important detail in your master plan."
"What's that?"
"You owe me from last time."
"What last time?"
"When you said we can have office sex if I clean up the kitchen."
"...And?"
"I'm cashing in both today."
"...Shit."
"Exactly."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing pumpkin."
