A/N: Someone asked me to do this, and at first I was like errrmmm... but then I sat down, and began writing, and I really liked how this turned out.
Disclaimer: Me nay own turtles.
"Raph!?"
"Raph! Guys! DONNIE! No, don't do this to me Raphael."
The words - his words - played through Leo's mind like the recording of a bad nightmare. His brother, always so strong, always so... Raph. Lying on the ground, cold and wet and covered in blood. Raph was taken away, rushed into the infirmary by Don and Master Splinter, leaving Leo in a puddle of blood that was not his own. Even Mikey couldn't crack a smile.
It wasn't even the worst injury Raphael had ever sustained. It wasn't the first time he'd been shot at this month, or even this week. It didn't stop the paralysing fear that splintered through Leonardo's chest; icicles of pain that filled his lungs with a cold kind of fire.
I should've... I would've... I could've...
I've failed.
This is all my fault.
This is all my fault.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
It was, quite frankly, a fairly average fight. But Raph stormed out nonetheless, because that was the way things worked. He'd be back, Leo knew, early in the morning, perhaps with a couple of bruises, a cut or two at the worst. Didn't stop Leo slumping onto the couch, the clock ticking away like a reminder that he still wasn't good enough.
And the worst thing was the familiarity of it all. Tick-tock. Just as familiar as his heart-beat. The anxiety an old friend. And Leo wished so badly to break out of the volatile cycle. To run out after his brother and fall to his knees and beg for Raph never to leave them again. To never run out and get into fights and come home wearing battle-scars like a badge of defiance.
But what could Leo do?
This was a competition, and the rules must be observed.
It was Mikey's warm touch that finally dragged him back into the present.
"Leo? Don't worry. He'll be okay."
Leo blinked. Since when had Mikey become the comforter, and he the one being comforted? With a shuddering breath, Leo got to his feet. He had to be strong now, for his family.
Pull yourself together.
But how could he, when part of him was trapped in the past, staring at the clock, and another part of him was lingering in the other room, watching Don work, and yet another part of him was living in the darkest corners of his mind, playing out the worst scenarios, scene by twisted scene.
"It's Raph. Of course he'll be okay." Leo said softly.
Mikey closed his eyes against the unspoken words. He has to be. Leaning heavily against each other, the pair made their way to the couch. The youngest turned on the TV, but it was just background noise to the thoughts inside their heads. Master Splinter emerged from the infirmary, and gently rested a paw on each of his son's shoulders. They turned to look at him, hope and desperation mingling in their eyes.
"I have done all I can. It is up to Donatello now."
Leo swallowed hard. "How is he?"
"Stable. Do not fret my sons. Your brother is a fighter. He will pull through."
Mikey gave a smile that wasn't a smile, and blinked away the tears. He had always been described as one of the more emotional of the brothers - it was one of the reasons he was considered the 'baby' of the family. Leo preferred to keep his emotions under lock and key. He and Raphael were alike in this way.
Raphael. No matter how hard Leo tried focusing on other things - the television, how Mikey was coping, how all his thoughts seemed to blur in his head - his thoughts always came back to Raph.
"He's going to be okay."
Don's familiar voice cut through the deafening silence. All of them crowded towards the other room. Leo was only able to spare a thought to how exhausted Donatello looked, before he saw Raphael; solid, and real, and undeniably breathing.
Donnie sighed. "He's going to be okay. But I don't know how long it'll be until he wakes up."
That night, Leo jerked awake in a mess of cold sweat and pillow-muffled screams. When the tears finally began to fall, hot and fast, they were the most selfish kind.
I want you back, Raphael.
Leonardo did not often have nightmares bad enough to drive him from his bedroom. But when he did, there was only one brother strong enough to fight away his demons.
Leo had never so badly missed Raph's chainsaw-like snoring in his ear.
A/N: What did you think? I have plans for a third chappie (the finale) and I guess I'll continue, reviews or not. But it would be nice to have reviews. REVIEW ME! Pleeease? I know the end could be interpreted as t-cest, but I can assure you, it's just brotherly love.
