Zim was again in his base, without his disguise, watching TV with Gir. This invention sure did help to learn about humans a lot. It even proved the difference between Zim and Gir: Gir preferred entertainment shows, especially the Scary Monkey Show, and Zim would rather watch the news, to know what precisely is going on Earth and Moon at this moment. Oh, and don't forget to tune in to the Skool-Channel every day in a 5-2 cycle 3 AM.
The day again went normal for Zim and Gir, with the lawn gnomes shooting Dib's pod whenever he got even close, when one of the newslines made Zim watch the screen and listen to every word the TV said.
Some time ago, people complained about Portal 2 having insulting comments mocking fat, adopted people, hobos and various other society classes. Tonight, however, it's quite a bit different. We've got a message from the Moon, where Dib and Gaz Membranes are complaining about the violation of privacy in the final scene.
The screen then cut to the final scene of Portal 2, with the main character yet again being sucked into space and noticing Dib's and Gaz's apartment.
The screen then again cut to live footage from the Moon, showing the male kid Zim already knew, next to some freaky purple haired lady.
"The Dib-monkey is on TV?" Zim shouted loudly. Gir noticed it, his eyes turned red and the perfectly fine-working SIR unit went to the room where Zim was.
Dib was the first to speak. "Okay, why the hell you contacted me? It's Gaz who complained. She's the video game freak."
Gaz followed him. "Oh, you and your huge paranormal head."
"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!"
"Okay, back to the point. There are many objects on the Moon's surface. The Apollo landing sites, which are now heritage areas, and hence, in public domain. Various craters. Other man-made and manned objects on space. And, out of all these, the game company almost deliberately contacted our father and exposed our space house to the rest of the sinful planet."
Very well, Gaz. Anything to say about Dib's, as you say, "huge paranormal head?"
"This is again insulting from Valve's point of view and-"
I said his head!
"and I believe that if controversies didn't put Valve down already-"
HIS HEAD!
"AGAIN, MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!"
"Um, no. Probably it is filled with images of ghosts, aliens and other kinds of paranormal, but that's beyond my knowledge."
So he's not only paranormal, he's also a paranormal investigator. What do you have to say about this, Dib?
"Oh, yes. Aliens have been the point of my entire life. In fact, I was disappointed that aliens did not live on the Moon. And quite a time ago, I actually found an alien. Can you believe? Me! Finding an alien! His name is-"
Sorry, Dib. It seems we were cut off by a video call from the Pacific. Someone claiming to be named Zim.
"He IS the alien! Take my word for-"
"YOU LIE! YOU LIEEEEEE! I mean, uh, no, Dib-human, I am a perfectly normal human being just as you, your sister and the news guy." Zim then turned away from the TV. "Gir! Stop messing around! You are disappointing ZIM!" He then turned back. "Yeah, my dog is very, uh, hyperactive. Just ignore it and you'll be fine."
Very well, Zim. How did you come to know about Dib?
"First I caught the Skool-channel where he immediately thought I was an alien, then we flew around the Earth and your nuclear missiles launched and blew up and from then on I only saw him on Skool."
This is crazy.
"No, it's true! I have him on tape!"
Very well. Can you broadcast it live?
The screen then cut to the abridged fifteen-minute epic of Zim and Dib's ships chasing each other, the Voot Cruiser getting a red flash at some points, and lastly a nuclear explosion.
Just WHY would you TAPE this?
"I considered sending it to Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery." Dib looked like he was full of pride.
That was disappointing.
Dib looked down again, the pride suddenly going away and being replaced with slight anger. "You honestly don't care that he could destroy all Earth?"
That wasn't a controversy. That wasn't news. That was just disappointing. Dib and Gaz Membranes, from this point on I officially consider that living in space has permanently damaged your brains and turned you into a huge-headed guy and a video game freak. Zim, nice work proving Dib is crazy.
"Oh, thank you, and yes he is."
Valve Software…
The screen showed only the text "DRAMATIC PAUSE" for a while, then showed a chart named "Probability of Valve Going Down", which rocketed up from April 19, 2011 on.
If you are going to rate your game E10+, make it at least somewhat family-friendly, because the probability of you dissolving is rising every day. Thank you for your time. Go watch something else.
The advertisement break then began. Zim didn't know much about what he had to do, but one thing was clear. Put Dib out of the line of sight, and only then steal the nuclear gun and destroy the Earth.
Gir went back to watching the Scary Monkey Show. That really was his favorite show.
