He sat in his spot again the next day. He liked his spot. He had his hitai-ate on his head, since he'd just passed the test. He looked around the room. More than half the students had already gone and were bragging to the others who hadn't. He looked over to where Naruto was. The boy was quivering in his seat. Sasuke shook his head, he'd told him to practice the jutsu.
He's not going to pass this time either, he thought. Unless I help him. This may have been completely innocent sounding in his head, but Sasuke had a very bad view on help. His was more of lie to the person he was helping, then lie to the person he was supposed to. He almost walked over when he stopped himself.
Everything had turned out fine when he was alive, why not leave it alone this time as well? He could always help Naruto later. He may not have the endurance or the same amount of chakra as he had before, but he still remembered the technique, and could so all his jutsu fairly well. He smirked at the thought of tutoring Naruto.
The people around him saw his smirk, and visibly relaxed. They had all been scared out of their minds. Sasuke himself was enjoying their fear. He enjoyed being crazy, and going out of his way to make others think he was insane. He could understand Lee and Gai's obsession with the spandex now. He imagined himself with the crazy outfit and eyebrow set up, and decided that it wouldn't be so bad.
While Sasuke had been musing his crazy concoctions, Naruto had gone and completed his exam. He came out with no headband, and a devastated look on his face. Sasuke found himself frowning, he didn't like seeing him upset. He had seen that expression every time he had killed someone in front of him, or had tried to kill the Dobe. He hated to see it.
"Hey, Naruto," he said, sitting on the ground next to the swing his friend was currently sitting in. He wasn't sure if Naruto thought of them as friends yet, but he was going to make sure he did. It was his afterlife, and he wanted it to go his way. It's like a birthday party, you get your way every time.
Naruto nodded his head slowly at him, and Sasuke felt his frown returning. This wasn't good. He needed cheery, annoying, and happy Naruto. Not this sad and quiet Naruto.
"Look, go find Mizuki. He knows a way to get you past the exam." Naruto looked up at him, his eyes shining hopefully. Honestly, he was lucky Sasuke was a light sleeper, else he would have missed the whole evil Mizuki Nine-Tails Story.
"But, is that cheating?" Naruto asked. Sasuke loved how he liked to play by the rules. It was so stupidly innocent. Didn't the idiot realize that the world didn't care if you ever broke the rules? Naruto would have more on his mind than that after tonight.
"Relax. It's nothing that you won't be forgiven for. If you get in trouble, it'll be because Mizuki told you to."
Naruto looked at him suspiciously. Sasuke knew what he was thinking. Probably something along the lines of, I can't trust this guy. He's been awful to me and everyone around him from the minute he was born! So hey, maybe sometimes he was a jerk. He'd had his fun in that role when he was alive, now it was time for something new.
"Alright," Naruto said hesitantly, and Sasuke couldn't blame him.
"Just make sure you don't take everything he says literally."
He sat down and watched Naruto where he stood in the clearing. The guy had managed to get the Fourth's Scroll of Sealing, and was now working on the bunshin jutsu. All the ones he'd made so far looked either like zombies or a rag doll. One had looked sort of like its creator, but it also had no nose. Or ears.
He ate some more of his "movie food", a pile of cut up tomatoes on a plate, and wondered when Iruka would show up. It had to be after Naruto learned the jutsu, else he was pretty sure that all participants would have died the first time around. Oh, there he is. Gosh, he needs to calm down, he's going to die from a stroke.
"Naruto!" Iruka called. "What are you doing?" Iruka was panicking. He probably thought that Naruto had gone crazy. Sasuke didn't like how he kept thinking "probably" in his head. He was just going to ask for answers next time instead of just watching.
"Ha! You've gotta pass me now Iruka! See!" Naruto then made a perfect clone of himself. The guy had lucked out, just two seconds ago his clones had all been a bright purple color.
"Naruto," Iruka asked seriously, "why do you think I should pass you?" This entire thing is like a cheap sitcom, Sasuke thought. Naruto just smiled even brighter, not letting his sensei's words bring him down.
"Mizuki said that there was a second test. A secret one! And I just passed it." Iruka's eyes widened as he realized what had happened. At that Mizuki shot in and landed on a branch in the tree next to Iruka. Someone likes a dramatic entry.
"Mizuki," Iruka shouted. "What were you thinking, doing that to Naruto." Mizuki shook his head at Iruka, a gesture that said, "why are you so stupid?"
"Come on Iruka, I thought even you were smarter than that! I want the scroll, and the kid' going to hand it to me," he looked down at Naruto, "now!" Naruto shook his head fiercely at the chunin.
"How sweet. The demon still thinks it can play games. You do know that's what you are right? You're a demon, a lying, cheating, murderous demon." Iruka blanched.
"Mizuki no, it's forbidden!" Mizuki just laughed. Poor Naruto looked really lost. He managed to catch on to their tone though, and he was scared. Sasuke could tell by the way he kept glancing back and forth between the two arguing ninja. Oh, and the way he was shaking helped too.
"You really had no idea did you?" Mizuki continued. "You idiot, it's the reason everyone hates you, the reason you could never be a ninja! The day the Nine-Tails attacked, you were born. The day the Nine-Tails attacked, you lost any shred of humanity that you may have had." Mizuki grinned an evil grin. "You're the demon that killed more than half the village that night Naruto. You killed the Fourth Hokage!"
Naruto's face widened in disbelief, but that quickly went away. He knew it was right. He couldn't deny all the things that the villagers had said or done to him over the years.
Sasuke got bored then. He'd run out of tomatoes, and he already knew how this would play out. He decided he was going to go figure out what other people had done the night Naruto learned about Kyuubi. He had the perfect targets.
Sasuke grumbled to himself a little as he watched Kakashi. He thought this would be interesting, but here he was sitting in a tree watching the guy sit in front of the memorial stone and read his book. Nothing had happened in the past hour other than Kakashi's eye growing bigger as he read. Sasuke didn't understand it. His sensei has to have read those books a million times, how was he not bored of them.
Man I'm bored. Then he had an idea. Ghosts haunted people and pulled pranks right? He was dead, so he might as well start acting like it. He got his plan all thought through, then slowly descended from his tree, so he wouldn't alert the Copy Ninja.
Kakashi was just about to finish the next chapter, and was completely absorbed in his book when he heard something. A small branch broke as someone stepped on it. He didn't move. The most likely explanation was that someone was stalking him to figure out what was under his mask. If the guy following him was funny, then Kakashi would let it go. It may also be an enemy ninja trying to attack him. It was a ridiculous thought, but nonetheless he listened to the things around him while he read.
He heard something else. It sounded like giggling. So there was another stupid genin following him. His eye crinkled as he thought of how the kid would be disappointed. Something soft brushed his arm.
Looking down he saw a cat. It was a small, calico cat. His eyebrow raised, and he looked around, wondering what type of distraction this was. It was a mistake though. There were cats in every single tree. There must have been hundreds of them. Kakashi made to stand up and walk away, and he felt something rustle around beside him. He jumped to his, feet alarmed, and looked down. There was a huge bag of catnip beside him. Alright, he figured, the cats'll all go away if I leave that here.
He got up and slowly walked away. He didn't look back for about two minutes, and when he did, he saw a swarm of cats and butterflies chasing him. His face went as white as his hair, and he sprinted away almost as fast as his former sensei. As he ran, he thought he could hear someone cackling in the distance.
Sasuke himself released the genjutsu as soon as Kakashi started running away. He had fallen out of the tree he had laughed so hard. It was a good thing that Kakashi told them meaningless stories when he was late and they'd been waiting on the bridge forever during their genin days. He never would have known about the cat phobia if he hadn't. He really owed Gai one. Speaking of which…
The Blue Beast of Konoha was training with his favorite pupil. Again. They had to have run around that track a million times already. Why didn't they ever get bored of the scenery? Sasuke himself enjoyed seeing something different every time he trained. He could always imagine the new target as a different face to beat in that way.
"Lee, my star pupil, your youthful essence is burning bright in the late night lighting!" Gai almost started crying as he watched his student do two thousand more push ups.
"Gai sensei, your praise means so much! I promise that my youthful fire shall burn eternally for you!" Both of them started crying. If the village ever needs a secret weapon, this drama right here is cringey enough to make any ninja fall into a puddle and beg for mercy. Sasuke himself was enjoying it though. It was hilarious to watch them as they went and hugged and cried every time one of them finished something. Their "youthful essences" were definitely burning bright.
There was no way he'd be able to prank them. They took everything too literally for that. Sasuke walked out to them and walked up while they were in the middle of one of their hugs. That spandex is just too much, he thought.
"Hey, Gai." Sasuke said, already regretting his decision. Gai and Lee both continued their embrace. Up close it was even more awkward to watch. When they finally stopped, Sasuke had lost six inches in height from the cringe he had received.
"Yes, oh youthful child? What is your fiery, burning inquiry for the Blue Beast of Konoha?" Lee's eyes shone brighter than the light bouncing off of Gai's smile.
Sasuke shuddered. Now or never, he told himself. He almost chose never.
"How do you… ugh, how do you find your inner youth?" He rushed out the words. Gai's mouth dropped open, and his entire face took upon itself an expression of pity. Lee mirrored his sensei perfectly. The only thing different about them was Gai's massive eyebrow size. Lee's was… impressive? But Gia's were a class all to their own.
"My poor, dear friend!" Gai shouted, crying. He hugged Sasuke and crushed him against his chest. He almost started hyperventilating. Scratch almost. Sadly, Lee and Gai thought he was upset about the same thing as them.
"Not to worry, my friend!" Lee said, giving him a thumbs up. "We shall help you in any way we can! Everyone has the youthful flame burning inside of them, it never is extinguished, only dulled! Every flame can burn bright once again with the correct fuel!" They were both only inches away from him. He regretted everything in his life in that moment almost as much as he had when he'd died.
The next hour was a blur for him. It was filled with hugs, tears, and panic attacks. Many, many panic attacks. By the time they were done, Lee and Gai had hugged so many times, and hugged him, that he was actually almost immune to the cringe. Almost. He had no clue what had inspired him to do this. However, before it could end, they had one more piece of advice for him.
"Your youthful flame will never die." Gai said, completely solemn for the first time that night. It somehow made Sasuke pay attention and actually listen to the words. "As long as you continue to fight for the right thing, the thing you care about, then that fire shall keep burning. If you die defending that fuel for your fire, then the flame really won't die. It shall burn forever!" Sasuke nodded, then froze. "Die defending the fuel?. "Burn forever?". Alright, he was being paranoid. No way Gai could know that. This was all his afterlife anyway, maybe he'd made Gai say that in his dead subconscious. That was it. He had one more person he had to annoy that night anyway, so dwelling on it would get in the way. Poor Sakura.
Sakura had been enjoying her night. She'd finally recovered from the confrontation with Sasuke, and she'd gotten her hitai-ate. Tomorrow, Sasuke would see her in it and realize that she was the perfect kunoichi for him.
She looked out her window at the stars, and imagined they were smiling at her, telling her that she was right, and that Sasuke would love her forever. Her gaze stopped on a tomato on the windowsill. She frowned, not knowing where the heck it came from. She got up, opened the window, and tossed it into the street below.
Sasuke winced as the tomato was thrown out so viciously. How could a girl expect him to lover her if she treated his poor tomatoes so badly? He'd decided that instead of a prank, Sakura would be a test. If she liked even one of the things he left on her windowsill, he would ask her on a date. He was putting all his favorite things there, so if she picked it up and kept it, it was something they had in common.
Next up came a picture of a cat. He'd decided that he really liked cats after the Kakashi thing. Sakura didn't notice it for a while, and when she did, she walked over and tore the picture into tiny shreds. His eyes widened, Sakura really was a violent person. He'd expected it after she'd trained with Tsunade, but maybe for violent nature had been what ad made the medic pick her in the first place.
Now for the Last thing, if only because he was running out of ideas. It was fun to watch Sakura destroy stuff. She'd had this funny look on her face when she was going to beat something up. Her face got all scrunched up, and one of her eyebrows quirked up, making her looking like she was questioning her life. He got out the little wooden toy his brother had made him when he was a baby. He brushed his fingers across it gently. Even before he had learned about the coup, he had kept it. It reminded him of all the goods times he'd had with his aniki. The wooden wolf looked up at him, as if to say, "well, what are you waiting for?".
He placed it carefully on the edge of the window. The wolf sat with it tail sitting in front of it, and it looked up as if it was viewing the night sky. Sasuke loved to watch the stars, and he had always felt like the wolf was sitting there, watching with him. It had felt like his old Itachi was back with him after the massacre.
Sakura saw it, and Sasuke realized to late that he'd just offered his poor little wolf up to her destructive tendencies. He was about to go get it, not caring if she saw him or not, when she reached out and took the wolf in her hand. She absent-mindedly stroked it as she gazed out at the stars. He breathed a sigh of relief as she placed his friend on her nightstand and went to sleep. Sasuke himself went home after that. Twenty minutes after he went home, he left. He got his wolf out Sakura's room, and then went back home to sleep.
Author's note- Hey guys, it's SarniePolla. Just wanted to let you all now that I'm sorry for the confusing scene switches and Sasuke's thought interjections. I can't figure out how to make the document manager keep the little space makers that I put down to try and make sense with. I put Sasuke's thoughts in italics (thank you to Scaredfox for that reccomendation by the way) and the document just set itself back to its normal font. So again, I'm sorry for that, and I'm trying to figure it out, but it may take a while. Love long and prosper.
~SarniePolla
