Oh my goodness, I have uploaded in time(ish)! Honestly, I didn't think i was going to upload this week because I had written so little but after getting inspired, i knew I just had to upload it today. It's a bit late because it's not the normal time I upload it at, but it's better than getting it a week later, isn't it?
Anyways, you may be wondering why I changed the title to The Black Goat's Egg. Well, if you read this chapter, you'll understand why. I still love Glassy Sky but this one just fits.
This chapter is a lot worse in angst and trigger warning than last chapter. And I mean A LOT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Moving on, I really hope you like the finale to this story and thank you once more for Helafina for giving me this idea. I absolutely loved writing this and give me any prompt requests if you like! I'll definitely write them for you :)
Check out the poll on my profile and my other stories as well (I still recommend Memento Mori even though I've written it forever ago. That story just doesn't leave you)
So, without further ado, here is the finale!
(This chapter has been edited)
NOTE
Trigger Warning: General depression, implied cutting, and suicide attempts
You're alone. You're not wanted. You don't belong in this world.
But I do belong. I am wanted. I'm not alone anymore.
You were abandoned. You were left behind. They don't remember you anymore.
I don't care anymore. I'm starting a new life. I don't need them anymore either.
Liar. Liar. Liar.
I'm not a liar. I'm telling you the truth. Leave me alone.
Abandoned. Left behind. Alone. Alone in this world.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
Wouldn't it be better if you just died? Just die.
"Kuroko, hey, wake up." His eyes open blearily to the sound of a voice calling his name. When his eyes focus, which is surprisingly hard to do, he sees a vibrant red hair, making him choke on thin air.
"Hey, calm down. It's ok, you're ok." The voice reassures him and he realizes that this is a warm, soothing voice, not the other voice he dreads to hear so much.
"Kagami-kun?" He asks uncertainly and the blurry image nods.
"Yeah, it's me. Are you doing ok? You were crying in your sleep. Another nightmare?" Kagami asks him and he can only nod back. He's had this too many times. He's just glad Kagami is there with him the whole time.
It was only a few weeks before he was completely left alone. His grandmother, the only relative he had left, had finally passed away. When Kagami heard, he immediately took Kuroko into his own house, telling him that he lived alone anyways and it was nice to have a roommate.
Just when he thought he was abandoned once more, Kagami came to the rescue. He really was blessed to have a friend like him.
"Come here." Kagami says as he moves to where Kagami is. Kagami pats the side of his bed and pats his on the back soothingly.
"You're not alone, ok? I'm here for you." Kagami asserts and Kuroko snuggles next to Kagami, wanting the warmth of another person. He nods and takes the rest of the morning trying to calm his beating heart, to tell it that he is not alone anymore and that he has a friend again.
"Are you sure you don't want to come to orientation for basketball?" Kagami asks as the final bell rings and Kagami gets ready to go to the gym. It is the first day of high school and unsurprisingly, both Kagami and Kuroko are in Seirin High School.
Kuroko shakes his head. "I am fine."
Kagami rubs the back of his neck as he looks at the smaller boy with doubt. "Are you still weary of basketball?"
"No, it is not that." He says a quicker than intended.
Kagami gives him a pointed look. "I thought we established that we wouldn't lie to each other anymore. You're not complaining, ok? Don't ever think that."
Kuroko nods. "I am sorry, Kagami-kun. Yes, I am still a bit weary of the sport."
"It'd be nice if you came and cheered me on, though. Who knows? Maybe I won't get in." Kagami tries to persuade, secretly wanting Kuroko to smile just once and becoming more acquainted with the sport again.
Kuroko merely shakes his head. "I am sure you will be able to get in, even without my help. But would you like me to wait for you?"
"You don't have to if you don't want to. What would you do anyways while waiting for me?"
"I could always go to the library and read something. I don't mind staying after school."
Kagami looks at Kuroko for a second before smiling. "Thanks. Want to meet outside the gym or should I go to the library?"
Kuroko ponders about this. "The gym. I believe the library closes before you finish. We can go straight home afterwards."
"Maji Burger, too?" Kagami asks hopefully.
"Kagami-kun, you eat too much." Kuroko comments and Kagami laughs.
"And you eat too little." Kagami points out and Kuroko doesn't have anything to say. They part ways, though Kagami looks reluctant to do so, and Kuroko walks to the library. The door is still open and a few people are sitting on the couches and chairs, reading or studying. He picks out a book by Takatsuki Sen and walks to am empty table. He starts reading and is immediately immersed in it, taking in each word and each phrase to heart.
And that isn't a good thing to do.
'The boy walks to his deranged mother, looks at her with disgust, and kicks her in the stomach. The mother cries out in pain before shaking everywhere.
"Does it hurt, mother?" The boy asks but the mother doesn't answer back. He kicks her once more with a smile on his face.
"Does it hurt, mother?" He repeats once more but the mother just keeps shaking. His eye twitches as he realizes that the more he hurts his mother, the more joy she feels from it.
He soon stops the action and as soon as he does, the mother whines for more. He lifts his chin up, making himself look more intimidating, and glares down.
"Disgusting." He comments before walking to his room. Mere seconds before shutting it, he looks at his mother once more. She is still on the floor, shaking, begging for more. His eye twitches and he closes the door. When he turns around, he finds himself looking straight at the Black Goat.
"How are you doing?" The Black Goat asks with a smile on his face. It seems to stretch all the way to his cheeks.
The boy tries to ignore him but the Black Goat is persistent. He trails after him, only staying a few centimeters away from him. The boy does his best to block him out but finds that it is impossible to do so when the man is practically breathing on his ear.
"How are you doing?" The Black Goat asks once more as the boy stops walking around his room.
"I don't have to talk to you." The boy tries to say as confidently as he can.
"But you're already talking to me, aren't you? Tell me, how are you doing?" The Black Goat asks with his smile.
"Perfectly fine. Leave me alone." The boy says coldly.
"But you don't want me to leave. You don't want to be alone. Don't lie to yourself, boy. You want me here. I'm your sole comfort in this world."
"A serial killer living in my house is not comforting at all. Go away." The boy tries once more but the Black Goat just keeps smiling.
"You still need me. You have no one. You have no friends and your mother isn't even your mother anymore. Her life's being sucked out right before her very eyes, yet she doesn't even try to fight it. The only person you have is leaving you for her own selfish needs. I, on other hand, am asking you, how are you doing?"
The boy's eye keeps twitching as he covers his ears and tries to drown out the serial killer's words. He closes his eyes, closes his ears, and focuses on his breathing only.
But he has already heard everything.
He is alone in this world. He has no one to turn to, no one whom he can be with, no one whom he can feel most at home.
He is becoming absolutely nothing.
"Library's closing in 5 minutes!"
Kuroko is forcefully pulled out of his book when he hears the announcement. He realizes that he's been reading for about 30 minutes but would have to wait about another half hour for Kagami to finish his basketball practice. He decides to let go of the book for now and wait in front of the gym until Kagami comes out.
He puts the book back on the shelf and walks to the gym where lights are blaring through the enormous windows. He leans against the front wall and closes his eyes as he listens to the familiar squeaky footsteps and bounces of the ball. Sometimes there are swishes of the net and cheers of joy. He hears commands and orders from probably the captain and the coach, and he can practically hear Kagami's fist in the air at a job well done.
They abandoned you, you know.
I know.
The same thing might happen again.
Kagami-kun is different. He would never do that.
Just how your so-called friends would never do that to you? Look at you now.
Stop it, just stop.
I remember their happy little faces when they promised to never leave you.
Stop.
I remember their hugs and pats on the back.
No, stop. Please.
I remember every single detail about them. Would you like to remember them as well?
No, I don't. Stop it. I don't need this.
Remember when you were the mentor of the blonde? You felt important to the team.
Shut up.
Remember when you shared sweets with the giant? You weren't left out.
I don't need this.
Remember when you were recommended books from glasses? You felt wanted.
Stop, please stop. I don't want this. I don't want to remember.
Remember when the red-head gave you tutoring lessons? When he gave you a chance to enter the club? When you were given the opportunity of a lifetime? Now, wasn't that just a beautiful thing to witness?
I can't take it. Please, stop. You're killing me.
Remember when you became best friends with the one and only Aomine Daiki?
STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP
"Kuroko!
Hey, calm down.
Hey, look at me.
Shh, it's ok, it's going to be ok.
Take deep breaths, just like we practiced.
Inhale, exhale.
Come on, do it with me.
There you go, you're doing great.
One more time, take a deep breath and let it out.
With me, come on.
There we go.
Better, right?
Thank god."
"Kagami-kun." Kuroko whispers as they walk towards their home. Kagami decided that they could go to Maji Burger next time and declared that he would make one of the best dinners this time.
"Yeah?" Kagami answers as he looks at the smaller boy. He seems even smaller now.
"What happened?" He asks dreadfully and Kagami hesitates for a second. Kuroko notices this and an awful feeling pools his guts.
"You were having one of your breakdowns." Kagami reluctantly replies and Kuroko bites his lip.
"Was I? In front of the gym?"
Kagami rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, kind of."
"What was I doing?"
Kagami looks like he doesn't want to remember. "You were in a crouching position and shaking all over the place. It might have been one of your worst attacks yet. You were covering your ears and screaming at something to stop. Was it the voice again?" Kagami asks worriedly and Kuroko nods weakly.
"It seems be coming back more often lately. I have no idea why."
"Maybe you shouldn't have waited for me. Waiting in front of the gym must've triggered something. Sorry." Kagami apologizes dejectedly but Kuroko shakes his head.
"it is not your fault, Kagami-kun. I wanted to wait for you."
Kagami still can't get the expression off his face. "Are you sure?"
Kuroko nods again. "Yes."
Kagami sighs before looking at the sky. "Hey, is it ok if I ask something?"
Kuroko nods. "Yes."
"Were you thinking about them? Are they still haunting you?" Kagami asks hesitantly.
Kuroko is silent for a moment, making Kagami stop and look at the smaller boy. He involuntarily starts shaking and Kagami knows he has made a mistake.
He crouches down in front of Kuroko and pries his hands from his face. "Hey, Kuroko, look at me, look at me." He soothes as Kuroko, still shaking, makes eye contact. "I'm sorry for bringing up. I'm really sorry."
Kagami hugs him until he gradually stops shivering.
"Are you ok?" Kagami asks slowly and Kuroko, head buried, nods.
"I am sorry, Kagami-kun." He whispers and Kagami pats him on the head.
"What're you sorry for? It's not your fault."
"I'm weak. I'm only being a bother."
"You're not. You were just too strong. Don't ever think that you're not good for this world. Because you are."
Someday will come when he'll leave you as well.
He will not.
Just like them.
Do not dare start this again. You will not push me.
Have you even seen them lately? Do they even contact you at all? See how you are, which school you chose? How you're doing in general?
You know they did not.
Exactly. They don't care for you at all.
It doesn't matter anymore. I don't care anymore.
What will you do when you see them again?
I will not. The chances are so low. I will never see them again.
You never know. You might even see them tomorrow.
I will not. They would never even try to find me.
What would you say? Would you stutter? Blame them? Or just -
Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Break down like always?
"Why don't you just kill her? You hate her, don't you?" He smiles as the boy starts to actually contemplate it. However, before it can go any further, the boy vigorously shakes his head.
"Shut up, stop talking to me. She's my mother. The only relative I have left." The boy rejects viciously as he covers his ears to block the Black Goat's words.
it doesn't work, though.
"But she's been nothing but a disgust to you. She never helps you, never treats you like a son. The best she could do was get food but she can't even do that anymore. What more can she do that be selfish?"
"Every human is selfish. I am, too. My mother's well being is no concern to you."
"But she's overstepping her boundaries, don't you think?" The Black Goat says with his usual smile, ignoring the rest of the boy's words. In return, his eye keeps twitching.
"Shut up. You're overstepping your boundaries, too."
"Oh?" The man's eyebrow raises lazily. "How?"
"You're not only trespassing my house, but you're also intruding into my personal bubble. Lay off and leave this house. No one wants you." The boy stresses but the Black Goat still has his smile. Obviously, things are going his way.
"Are you sure?" He asks the boy and said person hesitates slightly. "Are you sure you don't want me? I can do wonders to this house, you know? Starting with your mother."
A few seconds later, the boy cannot help but ask, "What are you planning to do to my mother?"
The man bares his yellow teeth as he grins. "Exactly what you want me to do."
"You can't possibly know what I want."
"Oh," the man says, "but I do. I know so well."
The boy shivers slightly as the man walks up to him and pats him on the shoulder almost tenderly, like a mother's touch.
The man leans in to the boy's ear and whispers, "You want me to kill her, don't you?"
The boy's eyes widen as his knees collapse on him.
He screams.
"Kuroko?"
He whips his head to the futon next to him. He has already been awake for several hours, evident from his dark bags under his eyes. "Did I wake you up, Kagami-kun? It is still only 5."
"No, it's fine. I just had a bad dream. Why are you awake?" Kagami asks but as he leans in closer and inspects his face, his eyes widen in disbelief.
"How long were you awake?" He asks hesitantly and Kuroko shrugs.
"I believe I woke up a few hours ago."
"And you couldn't go back to sleep?" Kagami asks incredulously. Kuroko shakes his head. "Then you could've woken me up!"
"You were obviously tired from practice, Kagami-kun. I did not have a need to wake you up."
"But you had a nightmare yourself, didn't you? That's why you woke up, right?" Kuroko doesn't have to reply. Kagami already knows.
He runs his hand through his hair, torn between yelling at him for not waking him up and asking him what happened this time. He decides on the latter. "Was it the voice again?"
Kuroko nods. "It was asking me what I would do if I were to ever meet them. It told me I would most likely break down."
Kagami is silent for a second. Then, "What do you think you would do? Without recalling what the voice said. What would you do if you actually did see them?"
Kuroko doesn't know how to respond. He has been avoiding the idea the whole time. His eyes dart as he tries to figure out an answer. There is no concrete one and an immediate reply cannot come out as it doesn't write out logically in his head. It's all jumbled up and the voice just keeps telling him that he will break down.
He has no choice but to go along with it.
"I would break down." He finally answers, exhausted. Kagami looks at him with concerned eyes. Kagami knows in his heart that those words are not Kuroko's. It's the voice inside his head. His condition is only growing worse. But both are to stubborn to admit that they need a hospital. Both believe that they can figure this out themselves.
"You're not." Kagami declare confidently and Kuroko, so tired, doesn't look at him when he says that.
"How do you know, Kagami-kun?" He asks.
"I just do. And besides, even if you did see them, I would be with you. You wouldn't be alone." Kuroko can barely let out a small smile when he hears that he still has someone in this world. And yet, he wonders, why is Kagami going through so much for him?
To abandon you in the end.
"Will you abandon me in the end?" Kuroko involuntarily whispers and is surprised when Kagami barges from his futon and marches over to his. Kagami grabs him by the shoulders and has an intense look on his face.
"Like hell I would, idiot! Why would I do such a thing?" Kagami shouts.
"Because of what happened." Kuroko reluctantly says.
"I'm not them, Kuroko. You know that."
"But I cannot trust anymore, Kagami-kun. Not again." Kuroko looks close to crying and Kagami can't say anything to that. He instead changes the subject.
"Will you cheer for us at Inter High?" It's early, they both know, to be talking about such a competition when it is days away, but Kuroko knows how much Kagami is looking forward to it.
Unfortunately, he shakes his head. "I do not think I will."
Kagami's face falls. "Well, I guess we can't do anything about that." He doesn't ask the reason why Kuroko won't come. They both know it's because of them.
The alarm goes off, signifying 6AM and both get ready, Kagami with his signature American breakfast and Kuroko with his tidying up the place. It's become an unspoken routine between them and thankfully, they are both happy with it.
Kagami leaves first as always to go to morning practice and Kuroko stays in the house for a bit longer before it is his turn to go to school. To pass the time, he takes his book and reads where he left off. He's been reading this and only this lately, to the point where he can even remember passages off the top of his head, but he can't seem to stop.
"Kill her."
"No."
"You know you want to."
"I don't. You don't know anything."
"But I know you want to. Don't lie to yourself. You secretly want to wrap your hands around her neck and just squeeze until she stops moving, don't you?"
"Shut up."
"Or maybe hit her with a metal pipe. It'd make a mess but you could just clean that up."
"Shut up."
"You could stop feeding her, make her starve to death. She doesn't even give a damn what you do. You could even poison her food if you wanted. I could get you the supplies."
"Will you shut it?" The boy finally snaps and makes the mistake at looking at the Black Goat. He is smiling again.
"Just go away!" The boy screams as he pushes the serial killer away from him. He misses and the Black Goat merely leans forward.
He whispers, "You'll never get rid of me."
The boy shudders when he realizes that the man is right. He would never be able to get rid of him.
"Do you want to know how you want me to leave?" The man suddenly asks and the boy whips his head to face him.
His eyes widen at the mere thought of it. "Tell me, tell me now."
His smile grows even larger.
"Kill her."
Seirin lost Inter-High by none other than he. Kuroko doesn't even want to say his name without having another one of his attacks.
When Kagami came back from the game and refused to see him, he knew immediately that they had been kicked out of the match. It was too soon. Seirin had practiced so much yet it couldn't go that far.
When Kuroko asked what happened, Kagami refused to talk to him. It wasn't until later when he found out from one of the basketball players why Kagami didn't want to say anything.
It was all for him.
Kagami didn't want to remind Kuroko of him. He knew that Kuroko would react horribly to it. Kagami could have taken those days of grief telling him about the match, what had happened and how it turned out that way. He could have vented his feelings of sorrow for losing the game, he could have cried in front of him because the pain, but instead, he had decided to keep it all to himself, because of him.
He decides to go home first. Seirin has moved on from Inter-High and are now getting ready for the Winter Cup. Kagami and his basketball players have begun practice once more, this time with much more vigor and passion.
Kagami tilts his head when Kuroko tells him he is going home. "You're not going to wait for me this time?" He asks.
Kuroko shakes his head. "No. There is something I have to do. I will see you at home, Kagami-kun." Kagami looks at him funnily but then shrugs and ruffles his hair. He leans in to the touch.
"Ok, then. I'll see you in a few hours." And both part ways.
Kuroko runs home, not wanting to waste any time. He wants to thank Kagami for all he has done. He wants to show his gratitude and absolute honor that he had the chance of meeting someone like him.
He wants to show him that he has gotten better, though it is a complete lie.
A few hours later, when Kagami returns home, exhausted and tired from practice but still determined to make food for both Kuroko and him, he is surprised to smell food in his flat. He opens the door and the stench hits his nose stronger.
His eyes widen at the mess in the kitchen and can distinctly detect burning smoke. He runs towards it, afraid that something might have caught on fire, but is shocked to find Kuroko standing in the middle of it, equally surprised to see him.
"Kagami-kun? You're already home?" Kuroko asks and Kagami just nods, still taken aback.
"Practice ended a bit early. What happened here?" Kagami questions and Kuroko lowers his head. Kagami takes a look around the kitchen to see the damage and stops when he sees the dining table, full of food.
"Kuroko, did you make dinner?" Kagami inquires as he sees a bowl of boiled eggs.
Kuroko, with his head still lowered, nods. "I am sorry for the mess. I had no idea it would be this hard to make food. You always did it so easily that I believed it would be the same for me."
Kagami takes a second to process Kuroko's words and when it does, he can't help but laugh affectionately. He starts ruffling Kuroko's hair fondly and is immensely pleased when he sees that Kuroko's ears are red.
"Did you do all of this for me?" Kagami asks and Kuroko doesn't respond. Kagami feels his embarrassment and smiles even bigger. They move to the table and Kagami shouts out a whole-hearted, "Thank you for the meal!", and digs in.
Kuroko anxiously awaits for Kagami's remarks and can't even touch his chopsticks.
Then, "Kuroko, I didn't know you could cook so well!" Kagami shouts in glee as he begins to stuff his cheeks with the various appetizers Kuroko has made. There is something unbelievably happy rising in Kuroko, something he hasn't felt in a long, long time, and he whispers his own "Thank you for the meal" before taking an egg roll himself. Kagami had taken several in his mouth already. He wants to know how it tastes like.
When he puts it in his mouth, it puckers up immediately and he takes various lengths to swallow it without choking. He then realizes with horror that he maybe put too much salt on it. He then realizes Kagami had been eating the whole dinner and his eyes widen significantly.
"Kagami-kun, don't eat the food!" Kuroko yells and Kagami suddenly stops.
"What?" His words are barely comprehensible with the food in his mouth.
"Please spit the food out, Kagami-kun. I have made a mistake and put too much salt. I am so sorry you had to eat it." Kuroko pleads as he walks over to him with an empty plate. He pushes it to Kagami so that he can spit it out, but before he can process it, Kagami has already swallowed.
"Kagami-kun!" Kuroko exclaims in dismay. "Why did you swallow? It must have been too salty!"
"Kuroko, it's fine." Kagami reassures but guilt doesn't fade.
"You lied to me when you said the food was good. It was not."
"Kuroko, you know I would never lie to you." Kagami says seriously and Kuroko is captivated by the intense look. He really does look like he would never lie to him. "I said the food was good because the food was good. So what if it were a little bit salty? For a first try, it was delicious." Kagami consoles and Kuroko gets a bit more hope.
"Really?"
Kagami nods with a soft smile on his face. "Really. But hey, if you're worried, maybe I can teach you more about cooking."
Kuroko lowers his head and for what seemed to be longest time, he smiles.
"Thank you."
Such a sweet, sweet moment. I could just replay the scene over and over again.
What do you want?
Hm? Who said I wanted anything?
You always want something.
True, I always do. What do you think I want this time?
I am not playing your game. I am happy. Go away.
Really? Are you really happy? Are you sure?
I am. Leave me alone. I don't need you anymore.
I doubt it. You'll never get rid of me, you know? No matter how much you try, I'll always be here, telling you facts about reality. Just how someday, he'll leave you, too. Just like last time. The only difference is that it'll hurt ten times, maybe even a hundred times more.
I already told you, Kagami-kun would never do that. He even ate my food because he knew I spent so much time on it. He knows a lot of things about it and he is always helping me. He won't leave. He won't.
Oh, but he will. Because that's what always happens to you, doesn't it? You always get left behind, forgotten.
He will never do that. Leave my head. You are not wanted here anymore. I am happy. I am not depressed anymore.
Really? Do you really believe that? Shall we test it then?
What do you mean? What are you saying?
Let's test if you've really gotten over it. If you pass, I'll leave, never bother you again. If you don't, well, you know the deal. Ready?
Wait, what are you doing? What are you going to do?
First up, we have the pretty boy, Kise Ryouta. Such a cheerful boy, always smiling and bubbly, trying to make everyone get along. It didn't work, though. He ended up just like everyone else.
No, you can't do this.
Next up, the bookworm, Midorima Shintarou. I remember when him and you would always meet up in the library, recommending each other books and reviewing them with such vigor.
Stop it.
Next line is the giant baby, Murasakibara Atsushi. You guys got along everywhere, didn't you? Especially when you got him treats and he trusted you enough to give you some of his snacks. I wonder if he would do that even now, when he and the others all left you.
Please, stop. I don't need this. Please.
And look what we have here! The emperor, Akashi Seijuuro. He's the one who found your ability, wasn't he? He was the one who gave you the chance of being with everyone.
Please. Not him. Not him. Anyone but him.
No, wait. That wasn't him. That was -
"Kuroko, shh.
It's ok, it's ok.
Take deep breaths, in and out.
Shh, it's ok.
Don't cry, you'll be alright."
Aomine Daiki.
"Kuroko!" Kagami shouts as he enters the house. Kuroko looks up from his book and see Kagami's radiating smile.
He tilts his head. "Kagami-kun? Did something happen?"
Kagami can't stop grinning from ear to ear. "We won!" He finally explodes and before they know, Kuroko has stood up to run to him for a job well done. Kagami hugs Kuroko and swings him around, still unable to control his happiness.
They're like this for a while before Kagami finally calms down and puts Kuroko back on the ground. He has to grab onto something to balance himself.
"Come on, we're all celebrating. You're coming with me." Kagami says as he takes Kuroko's jacket and throws it to him.
"Me?" Kuroko asks with wide eyes and Kagami nods.
"Yeah, come on."
"But I am not even in the team. I shouldn't be imposing." Kuroko tries to avoid but Kagami already has him by the neck.
"But be so anti-social. Besides, the team won't care. They'll be more than happy to include you!"
Kuroko is still hesitant. "Are you sure?"
"Hell yeah, I am! Come on, let's go before coach has my head!" And Kagami drags Kuroko to the restaurant where they meet the rest of Seirin's team.
Kagami introduces Kuroko as his best friend, which produces a warm feeling in his gut, and the whole team greets him whole-heartedly. Soon enough, the whole place is in celebration as Seirin has completely dominated the restaurant with its immense glee.
For about an hour or so, the team is partying, dancing and singing, and others in the restaurant even join them. Kagami pushes Kuroko to them and the team invite him with open arms. He can't refuse and soon enough, they are all becoming one. Kuroko already feels at home.
He feels wanted again.
When they finally settle down and actually begin to eat some food, everyone's attention is to none other than Kuroko. He shrinks at the sudden attention.
"So, you're the famous Kuroko-kun Kagami-kun is always talking about?" The only female in the group, the coach, asks. Kuroko tilts his head.
"You know me?"
"Please, Kagami is always talking about how great of a person you are. It's getting annoying." The captain, a glasses wearing student, says while rolling his eyes.
"Kagami-kun?" Kuroko asks and Kagami rubs the back of his neck.
"I may or may not have talked about you to the team."
"He told us how you made him dinner once because you knew he was still down about losing the Inter-High. It was so sweet of you." The coach recalls.
"Soon enough, this Bakagami is just spitting out all kinds of praises about you. 'Oh, Kuroko does this for me' and 'Kuroko does that'. I hit him every time he does." The captain grumbles and everyone laughs as Kagami turns red.
"I do not say that!" Kagami vehemently protests but everyone says differently.
"Don't even lie, Kagami!"
"You're always talking about him!"
"We were wondering when you were going to introduce us to him!"
"He really does seem as great as you say!"
Kuroko listens to the team tease Kagami and he can't help but cry a little bit. Kagami has been kind enough to talk about him with his team members. He has been kind enough to remember that he was still in existence.
He can't be happier.
"You're losing it. I can see." The Black Goat notes with his eyes glaring downwards. The boy just keeps shivering.
"Shut up. Leave me alone." He says in a muffled voice. He won't lift his head up.
"Look at you, you're becoming your mother now." The man says in disgust and kicks him. The boy coughs in pain but doesn't move from his position.
"Exactly like your mother. What happened? I thought you didn't want to be like her. What changed?"
"Nothing changed. Leave me alone. I just like this position, that's all. The floor's comfy and I'm cold. That's all."
"Such stupid excuses." The Black Goat tsks before hurting him once more. The boy cries out in pain but finds that he can't stop shivering. He's starting to enjoy the pain.
"Are you feeling deprived? Stripped? Unhuman?" The man asks. The boy doesn't answer.
"Do you feel as if you can't do anything in this world? Do you feel as though if you do something, it'll just kill you in the end?"
No answer.
"Well, it's true." The man whispers as he crouches down to him. "Everything you do will lead to your demise. Be in that position forever, exactly what your mother is doing right now. Now that I think about it, she's almost dead, isn't she?"
That gets the boy's attention and finally, he lifts his head up.
"What?"
The man gets closer. "She's dying. She's not eating, moving, barely breathing as it is. Aren't you happy?" He asks and loves the expression the boy has.
"She can't be dying." The boy says in dismay and slowly stands up from his egg position. The Black Goat merely watches him.
"She can't be dying." He repeats once more and his fists clench. "She can't be dying because I'm the one who wants her dead."
The man smiles. "What do you want to do now?"
The boy is frozen for a moment before turning to the Black Goat slowly. When they are face to face, the man is more than satisfied with the expression in the boy's eyes.
"I want you to kill her." He orders in a low voice and the man's smile reaches to his ears. The slits are even more prominent in the night time.
"Guide the way."
Kuroko is more than ready to go to the stadium to cheer Kagami on. He doesn't even care for the fact that Kagami is up against him, he just wants to support Kagami any way he can.
He remembers when he made this decision. It was just after Kuroko finished dinner on his own. Kagami had gone to the States a few weeks back to train even more extensively with his old basketball teacher but he didn't mind as much because they Skyped each other every night.
They were talking this time as well when Kagami began the topic. "So, the Winter Cup starts in a few days."
He nodded. "So it has."
"Our first opponent is Touou." Kagami said solemnly and Kuroko's eyes widened. He hated hearing that school name.
"I believed you could not have a match with schools from the same Tokyo block." Kuroko reasoned but Kagami's face merely turned sour.
"It normally isn't, but they made exceptions this time."
"What will you do?" Kuroko hesitantly asked and Kagami just smiled.
"I'll do what I'll always do. I'll play my best." And after a moment's silence, Kagami added, "Will you cheer me on?"
Kuroko lowered his eyes from the screen and pondered about it greatly. Would it be worth going if he had the risk of meeting them? Would it really worth it to cheer Kagami on when he was still on the brink of the cliff?
Then he remembered the restaurant with the other Seirin members, when he felt most at home with, and he realized his answer was simple.
He turned his attention back to Kagami, who was staring at him intently, and before he knew it, he said yes.
Now, here he is, waiting outside the stadium for Kagami to come. He already met the rest of Seirin, who seemed to also be waiting for Kagami to show up. The coach, Aida Riko as she introduced herself last time, ranted about how much of a Bakagami he was before saying goodbye to Kuroko to go to the lockers and get ready first.
He looks at his cellphone and sees that Kagami is about 20 minutes late. He sighs as he predicts that it is because Kagami forgot about the time difference between Japan and the States. He decides to walk around and view the scenery while waiting for him.
It's been a long time since he's been in a place like this. The last time he had been in a stadium was in middle school, when everything went wrong.
He doesn't want to think about it now. He doesn't want to get depressed now out of all times. He has to cheer for Kagami, he has to cheer for Seirin.
He takes a look around the place and sees that a lot of people are gathering. The Winter Cup has become incredibly popular and Kuroko is amazed by how much it has grown. He has been away from basketball too long. He barely knows anything anymore.
"Kurokocchi?"
He stops short as he hears that familiar nickname. He's frozen.
"Is that you?" The same voice asks but he still doesn't move.
"Kuro-chin?" A lower-pitched voice and somewhat of a more drowsy tone asks and he starts shivering subtly. He tries to control himself but he finds extremely difficult to do so.
"Kuroko? Kuroko Tetsuya?" A deep voice, one many girls would have found extremely attractive, says next. No, he can't. Not now, out of all places. The voice is talking to him again. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.
"Tetsuya, turn around." It's the tone of an emperor, a tyrant leader. He's asking him to turn around but his feet are rooted to the ground. Make the voice stop talking. He's breaking again.
"Tetsu."
A sob rises but he clamps it down. Make it stop, please make it stop.
Before he knows it, a hand grabs his shoulder and forces him to turn around. He then is frozen stiff when he sees five familiar faces all looking at him, either in shock or curiosity. He still can't say anything.
"Where the hell were you in middle school?" Aomine Daiki, ace prodigy and once best friend of Kuroko Tetsuya, explodes. "Suddenly skipping class, not even bothering to come to graduation. Do you even play basketball anymore?" His tone is accusing, as if it was his fault that they all became like this, jaded and alone.
His shivering doesn't stop, only increases, and this time, it is visible enough for people to see it. Kise is the first one to notice.
"Kurokocchi, are you ok?" He asks worriedly and Aomine flips him off.
"Fuck off, Kise. I'm trying to talk to him here."
Kise's face twitches. "Aominecchi, there's something wrong with him." He says but Aomine isn't listening. Midorima and even Murasakibara see it, however, and they start to move forward to Kuroko. He doesn't want them to. Akashi is just silent.
"What school are you even at? Is it that no-name school? What's it called, Sierin? Seron?"
Midorima grabs Aomine's shoulder. "Oi, Aomine, lay off him for a second. There's something wrong with him."
"And I'm telling you to fuck off, Midorima. I'm trying to get answers as to why he fucking disappeared without telling any of us!"
He doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't want to stay here. He wants to leave. He wants to never see them again.
I told you you would break. I told you you wouldn't be able to handle them if you ever saw them again. Do you still think you're cured?
To everyone's surprise, Kuroko starts crying.
"Stop, I don't want this anymore. I can't take it anymore." He sobs as he covers his face and crouches down, curling his back as if to protect himself.
He just wants the voice to be gone.
"O-oi, Tetsu?" Aomine has figured out too late that there is definitely something wrong with him. Before anyone can take a step closer to the smaller boy, the view is suddenly blocked by a furious red-head.
"Get the hell away from him!" Kagami yells as he covers Kuroko's body with his own. The five, shocked at the sudden appearance of Kagami Taiga, don't move.
Kagami immediately reverts his attention back to Kuroko, who is completely breaking down. Kagami knew he shouldn't have asked him to cheer for him. He was a complete idiot for even suggesting it. This would have never happened if he didn't ask him. It was his fault.
"Kuroko, it's ok, it's ok. I'm here for you, I'm here. Shh, calm down, calm down. Take deep breaths, deep breaths. Kuroko, it's ok, it's going to be ok." He keeps trying to soothe but this time, it isn't working. Nothing is working.
"Fuck, Kuroko, I'm carrying you, ok?" Kagami decides to take him to the locker room where they won't be able to see the five.
"Hey, where do you think you're taking him?" Aomine calls out but Kagami doesn't answer him back. Aomine, not taking that as an answer, runs after him and catches him by the shoulder.
"Don't fucking ignore me, bastard." Aomine growls but Kagami shrugs him off.
"I'm taking him to Seirin's locker room. If you want an explanation, I'll give it to you after I take him there. The team will be able to calm him down, I hope." Kagami says, mostly to himself, and runs as fast as he can, whispering soothing words to Kuroko along the way.
The five watch the figure slowly dissipate and they decide to takes Kagami's word for it and wait until the red-head comes back. Even the emperor himself is confused.
"You killed her with your own hands, you know?" The man smiles. The boy starts to shake terribly.
"What're you saying? I didn't kill her, you did. I didn't kill my mother." The boy tries to makes sense but the man is relentless.
"But I'm not the one with blood on my hands." The boy slowly looks at his hands and the man's at the same time. To his horror, only his hands are stained.
He starts shaking his head vigorously. "No, I didn't do it. I'm not the one who killed her. I just ordered you to do it for me. It wasn't me who did it, it was you."
"You don't get it, do you?" The Black Goat says as he grabs the boy's head and starts squeezing it. The boy starts screaming in pain.
"I'm not the one who killed her. It was all you. Can't you see I was made from your depravity? I'm just a figment of your imagination, made from the need for you to stay sane.
"You killed her. You killed her with your own bloody hands."
The boy just keeps screaming.
"How did it feel? Did you enjoy? You seemed very happy when you kept hitting her with that metal pipe. I can barely even recognize her anymore."
"Stop it, stop it, stop it! It hurts! It hurts!"
"Such irony, isn't it? Making a figure like me just to keep yourself sane. Didn't work now, did it? Now what are you going to do? You're a killer, but instead of becoming your own person, you've just become your mother. You've become nothing, absolutely nothing. Deprived of everything you are. You're not even human anymore. The only person who remotely cared for you, you killed her. You don't deserve anything else in this world. It's all against you. You've been abandoned, can't you see? No one wants you, no one cares for you, no one even knows you exist."
"Stop, please." The boy starts crying with tears running down his cheeks. He can't take it anymore. The Black Goat still squeezes the top of his head. It feels as though it might crack.
"What else di you have? You're got nothing. No family, no friendship, no love. Best thing to do now is just die. Not a bad idea, right? I'll even do it for you."
The boy can't say anything as the Black Goat takes his other hand and wraps it around his neck.
In just a few seconds, he breaks.
"He's been going through depression, are you happy now?" Kagami spits out angrily. He came back from the locker room and was currently telling the five prodigies about what happened. Everything from when they first met to now.
No one seems happy. They are all just horrified at the news.
"Because of us?" Kise whispers as he covers his face in dread. The others don't look well either, especially Aomine. Kagami hates him the most out of all of them. He was the first to leave Kuroko and everything else behind. He was the one who hurt him the most.
"If you have any remorse and sympathy for him, you'll stay away." Kagami warns but everyone except Akashi vehemently protests.
"You can't possibly expect us to stay away after hearing something like that!" Midorima bursts, completely unlike him.
"Why do you think he was like that in the first place?" Kagami snaps. "Can't you see you guys are the reason he's like this? He's still not over it, he may never be. Do you honestly think you guys will be of much help when you were the beginning of everything he's been through?"
Kagami runs his hand through his hair in distress. "Just stop. Don't make it worse for him, got it? He needs more time, and you guys are just going to take it away from him."
"But we want to help!" Kise cries out and Kagami sighs, tired from all of this. He still needs to see if Kuroko is ok. Is the team doing their best to soothe him? He hopes they can.
"Then let him decide. Let him choose when he wants to see you again. But trust me when I say this: he doesn't need you. Not yet, at least. The trauma you guys have given him is unbelievable, ok?"
Kagami checks the time and sees that it's almost time for them to leave. He starts walking away. "Don't make it worse for him, not when he's just started to open up again. Don't be selfish and only think about yourselves again. He really doesn't need you at the moment, not when you guys are still the trigger to his depression."
Kagami leaves the five to themselves and Aomine punches the nearest advertisement board.
"Why the fuck would Tetsu try to kill himself because of us? Because of me? Fuck! "He screams and no one can do anything to appease him.
Kuroko wakes up in the locker room and sees that no one is inside. He looks at the time and realizes that the match has already begun between Kagami and… him.
He suddenly remembers everything: his unexpected meeting with them, his complete breakdown, and Kagami's rescue. The recollection is vague but he distinctly remembers Kagami soothing him till the end. He can also remember the rest of Seirin trying to make him feel like home.
He takes deep breaths as he calms down his heart.
He knew the voice was telling the truth. He really wasn't over it. But at the moment, he doesn't want to think about it now. He has to cheer for the one person who cared for him when no one else did. He needs to cheer for Kagami.
He moves out from the locker room and walks inside a big hallway. As he gets closer to the shining light, he can hear shouts and cheers from the audience. His eyes widen when he sees blue lightning flash by.
So he had opened the door to the Zone. It was obvious that he would.
He walks over to the benches where Seirin is at and though they run over to him to see if he's ok, they can't focus properly because the match has suddenly become too one-sided. He sees Kagami's desperate eyes and he realizes that he never wants to see that kind of face on him.
Before anyone knows it, he starts screaming Kagami's name.
Kagami must've heard because something sparks in him and in mere seconds, the court is filled with red and blue lightning clashing against each other. No one has time to breath until the very end of the match and just before the final buzzer rings, Kagami takes the final shot, making Seirin the winner.
The team all run towards Kagami, the main protagonist, and Kuroko joins in on them. Kagami is crying tears of joy as he takes Kuroko by the arms and lifts him up to shoulders. Kuroko cries as well because he is happy to see Kagami like this. He is happy to see that his best friend has been able to beat an impossible opponent.
"Tetsu." Kagami and Kuroko both hear and they direct their attention to Aomine Daiki. Kagami slowly puts Kuroko on the ground and puts a firm hand on his shoulder, telling Kuroko that he will be ok.
"You've won." Aomine says simply but the expression in his eyes says different. The duo wait for Aomine to finish what he's been trying to say. After a moment, he does.
"I'm sorry. About everything." Aomine whispers and eventually, tears start running down his face. Kuroko can't bear to see the sight of it.
"Aomine-kun." He never thought he would say that name again. Aomine looks up, still crying, and he finds himself looking at a small extended fist.
"I still have not gotten my fist bump back from middle school." Aomine splutters at the sudden gesture, unsure of what to do.
The voice is still telling him he will break. He knows that, he can already feel like he's going to fall. But at the moment, he needs to admit to himself that he can overcome this, that he is capable enough to do so. And the first step in doing that is making amends with the one person who gave him most hurt.
"I am sorry but I will not be able to see any of you until I know in the bottom of my heart that I have overcome my own depression. Please understand." Kuroko says but Aomine gives him a small smile.
"But it does mean we have a second chance, doesn't it?
Kuroko can only nod. Aomine takes it and returns the fist bump. When the stadium empties out and Kagami and Kuroko have gone home, Aomine gathers up the rest of the five and tells them that maybe it would be better for them to wait until Kuroko is ready.
Kagami had been right by telling them they were too selfish. They have given him enough hurt already. The immense guilt settles in even deeper, making everyone feel absolutely terrible, but they know that this pain isn't even a third of what Kuroko must have had felt when they had left him.
They remember their second year in middle school, at the culture fair where they all gathered to say their wishes. Kuroko had wished that they would never change. Unfortunately, they had, and soon enough, it all tumbled down. Even though they hated to admit it, they were glad Kuroko met someone like Kagami. They were glad that Kuroko was becoming stronger.
They all agree to wait and they selfishly (guiltily) wish for the day of Kuroko's recovery to come as quickly as possible.
A little over a year after the Winter Cup, when Seirin has beaten Rakuzan and Akashi Seijuuro, the emperor and the absolute, the five Generation of Miracles get a text message from an unknown sender.
But they all know who it is. They can't help but smile while crying tears of joy. The day as finally arrived.
Would you like to play basketball with me?
And that was the end! How did you guys like it? Was it good, bad, meh? Tell me in the reviews!
So, i'm pretty sure they're gonna be people who'll be like, 'It ended to abruptly!' or something like that, and well, I'm sorry if you think that. I really did want to write more for this but it's currently almost 2 in them morning and I am dying. But then again, I also think the ending is perfectly fine.
Anyways, what's done is done, so that's that.
Oh, and no, the excerpts of The Black Goat's Egg are not derived from Tokyo Ghoul at all. It is my work entirely. I don't think there's an actual book called this by Takatsuki Sen and it's only from Tokyo Ghoul. I really do wish to read it though. The plot seems so interesting :)
(Also, for the one reviewer who was confused, yes, the boy killed his own mother. The Black Goat was merely a figment of the boy's imagination because he was at the breaking point and it was the only way to keep himself self. Kind of like how Kaneki dreamt of Rize when he was with Jason)
What did you guys think of the whole perspective changes thing? One time it could be the voice, other times it could be the book, and it could be the story in general. Was it too confusing or interesting enough? Make sure to give me your opinion on that too!
This is the edited version and I hope that there are less mistakes now.
I hope no one hates characters because of this (because I did make Aomine kind of douchey here) but whatever. The story took me there, I couldn't control it :)
That's it for me, I don't know what I'm going to upload next, wish me luck on school, and I'll see you guys when I can!
Peace,
FlyAndDontLookBack
