Chapter 2

It was almost a week before the team returned from Portland and I was still in the hospital, although getting closer to being released. I made a point of walking past the nurse's station as often as possible to prove that I was up and about and on the mend. The Halloween-style bandage had been removed from around my head and I'd been dressing myself unaided to boot. I was definitely ready to go home.

To make it clear that I no longer required assistance, I'd taken to only getting into my hospital bed in the evenings when I was ready to sleep. During the day, I preferred to sit outside in the small garden. It may have been an effective way of showing them they were wasting hospital resources on me if I hadn't collapsed on my way down the third or fourth time, reopening a cut in my head much to my doctor's annoyance. Now I mostly sat by the window or in the hospital cafe under Garcia's strict supervision.

Everyone was very contrite about not having been able to come sooner—the case had been a bad one but it was all wrapped up now and they were glad to see me up and about. Garcia had been to my place to bring me more clothes but I purposely wore the same t-shirt and jeans JJ had changed me into for the day they were coming home. I also made sure I smelled a little nicer than I probably had that day. It had the desired effect—JJ's eyes were running up and down my body the second she stepped into the room. I knew she was remembering just what I looked like beneath those clothes.

I had to force myself to look away from her darkening eyes and acknowledge the rest of the team.

"Hey, you're here now," I said, letting them off the hook. "But do I get another cake when I come back to work?"

"None of your business," Garcia replied, tapping me on the arm playfully. I had suspected she'd been behind the last one and now I had no doubt.

"Okay, but can it be chocolate?" I asked cheekily.

"Get yourself cleared to leave and find out!" Morgan teased, as if I hadn't spent every waking moment for the past week trying to do exactly that.

"When do you get out?" Hotch asked and he was smiling too.

"Tomorrow morning if she's good," JJ said, surprising the others. Since she left for Portland we'd been calling each other every day and I'd kept her better updated than the others. "What?" she asked, aware of their stares. "I pay attention."

She was one shade off a perceptible blush and I was curious to know why. Had something gone on that I didn't know about? I was afraid to ask with the whole team present but resolved to talk to Derek later.

"So that's Monday I'll be back at work," I chipped in cheerfully, "If you're wondering what day to bring my cake. …Decent coffee would also be appreciated."

"Don't get me started on how bad the coffee is here," Garcia moaned, and I had to hand it to her. She'd been right here with me all week, drinking awful coffee and sitting in the most goddamn uncomfortable chairs man has ever constructed.

"We should probably let you get some rest if you're being released tomorrow," Reid suggested.

"Oh god, no—I am so bored!" I pleaded, panic edging into my voice. "I'm so well rested I'll probably fall back into a coma if I go to sleep. Don't go yet! Reid, I am even willing to play Doctor Who Monopoly with you again if that's what it takes!"

"Dude, Doctor Who Monopoly?" Morgan repeated, nudging Reid playfully.

"Don't tell me you don't at least have a pack of cards on you," I continued to beg, but I was ignored.

"I'll come pick you up tomorrow before I go to work," JJ offered as the rest of the team began to shuffle toward the door. "It's not hard for me to drop you home on my way through."

"Aww, okay… Wait, Morgan, can you stick back a second?" I asked, suddenly remembering I needed to talk to him.

Morgan raised an eyebrow as if to say "me?" but nodded anyway.

Rossi and JJ both gave equally suspicious looks but they left along with the others.

"Close the door," I instructed and Morgan did so, still looking somewhere between curious and amused. "Something happened since I was out that everybody knows about except me. Don't lie, I can tell when you're lying."

"Oh you think so?" Morgan laughed. "Well I don't know what you mean, princess. I guess we're all just wondering what came of that little thing you did before you went out."

I narrowed my eyes, shaking my head. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't remember?"

This wasn't funny anymore; I was starting to feel exposed. "Morgan, the doc says I'm suffering from retrograde amnesia. I lost a couple weeks. I don't even remember the case we were working on. Garcia told me about it but I don't remember it at all."

Morgan's demeanour changed at that. "Does Hotch know?"

"That was the first time I've seen Hotch," I reminded him. "Besides, I've lost my memory after a head injury before. It's just usually back by now."

"You were in a coma for five days, Emily. Mention it to Hotch, okay?"

I shrugged, knowing already that I wasn't going to say anything that might keep me in hospital longer. They'd already done scans of my brain and everything looked fine. There was some swelling but it was lessening—no permanent damage, and so on. Still, I couldn't even remember things like whether or not I'd taken my red coat to the dry cleaner yet, or if I'd paid back Reid for bringing me lunch a couple of weeks ago. It was disconcerting.

"So what did I miss?" I pressed. "You all started acting weird before. It was something to do with JJ."

Morgan looked awkward at that. "I don't know if I should say if you don't remember… Maybe that's better anyway."

"Why the hell would it be better for the whole team but me to know what I apparently did," I bit out. "Seriously, Morgan. I need to know. Garcia told me the unsub came at me with a pipe and I went straight out—did that not happen?"

"You went straight out all right," Morgan confirmed reluctantly. "At least as far as I know. We were ten or fifteen minutes behind you. We caught the unsub leaving out the back and split up to search the building… Em, you were dead. By the time I saw you, JJ was already down on her knees performing CPR. She was a mess. To be honest with you, I thought she was clutching at straws but I wasn't about to stop her.

I tried to picture the scene but found I couldn't. "Okay, but then she got my heart started again and I was out like a light for five days. If I did something to weird you guys out it must have been before that, right?"

Morgan shifted uncomfortably, as if he were still undecided about telling me, but eventually he gave in. Dragging a chair up beside me, he looked out the window for a good minute before meeting my eyes. "You woke up," he said simply. "It was after the surgery that you slipped into the coma. You woke up at the scene and were in and out of consciousness all the way to the hospital."

"I don't remember," I said needlessly.

Morgan nodded and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, Emily, if it sounds like we're taking this lightly, we're not. We just kind of assumed that you and JJ talked it through since you both seemed…"

"Morgan, I don't even know what it is you think we needed to talk through. JJ certainly didn't tell me anything."

"…You kissed her, Em." Morgan's eyes were intense on mine. He sounded guilty, like he was betraying a past Emily by telling the current one what she'd done. "She was giving you mouth to mouth and you woke up and started coughing and when you stopped she was right there and you just… you know, pulled her in and kissed her. But I mean, it was a high-risk situation; you were both stressed out. Hell, you'd been dead... We were all prepared to give you a little license, JJ included."

"I kissed her," I repeated, leaning back with a dumb expression on my face. How could I not remember that? Had my brain literally shut itself down in embarrassment?

"Yeah," Morgan laughed, clearly relieved to have got it out. "Rossi was the only other one who saw it. The others came after. But I'm pretty sure Rossi would have told Hotch and, well, you know Garcia is like JJ's BFF or something, so she probably knows..."

"And did you—" I swallowed the lump in my throat uncomfortably. "Did you talk to JJ after that?"

"I really can't say if I did or if I didn't," Morgan replied, sounding as awkward as I felt. "Princess, you know I love you, but anything JJ might have said to me about you would've been said in confidence, you get that, right?"

I sighed, not wanting to admit that he was right. "But you said I was conscious most of the way to the hospital. What happened after I kissed her?"

"JJ rode in with you," Morgan answered. "I only know you were awake from her. I wasn't there so if you guys talked, I just don't know about it. They were wheeling you into surgery when I got there. You were in there a damn long time. JJ was losing it. She wouldn't talk to anyone. She flinched away if you touched her… Then they came out and they said you'd coded on the table but they'd got you back and they were hopeful… But you didn't wake up. Jayj stayed overnight at the hospital. We were all there for the first couple days. Although all of us went home except her. Then we got an urgent call. None of us liked leaving you. I thought Garcia might refuse but in the end she agreed to come, while JJ stayed. Nobody argued with her when she said she wouldn't leave you." He sighed then. "I'm sorry, Em… I assumed that you two had… You know, you kind of seemed like…

I put him out of his misery. "Something else happened between JJ and I the day I woke up."

Morgan perked up considerably now that the pressure wasn't on him to provide the gossip. "What exactly do you mean by something?"

I blushed helplessly. "I asked her to help me get undressed. It wasn't unreasonable. I was pretty incapacitated, to be honest. I could barely move without coming over dizzy. She came into the bathroom with me and undressed me and—Jesus, Morgan—I thought it was just me getting hot. I was trying to hide it. I literally banged my injured head against the wall on purpose to try and feel something, anything, other than goddamn ripe for her… But then afterwards she pretty much flat out admitted that she was turned on too. Then my mother arrived and Garcia came back and we haven't— We haven't really talked about it since. I mean, I've been calling her; she's been calling me. We've talked about other stuff, so I know she's not avoiding me…"

"She offered to pick you up tomorrow," Morgan reminded me. "Sounds like the opposite of avoidance to me."

"Right?" I agreed, perhaps too quickly. "I just don't know if I should bring it up again and, fuck, if I kissed her that just makes things even more complicated…"

"I can't speak for JJ, Em, but if anything, that kiss should make things simpler," Morgan argued. "For someone who'd just been resuscitated it was pretty damn full on... Gave new meaning to the kiss of life if you know what I'm saying."

"Did she kiss me back?" I barely breathed out.

Morgan sat back in his chair a little and gave a short laugh. "Yeah... Wow. She definitely did. Rossi and me were just standing there. I was yelling into my piece for the others to get their asses to our position and send help. You woke up, coughed yourself hoarse and then you just stopped and reached up to pull her down and JJ was..."

"What?" I choked out. Jesus, why was my voice failing me now?

"Well, she'd just spent at least ten minutes trying to resuscitate you. It was pretty emotional for her when you woke up," Morgan replied obliquely. Then he grinned. "I would've looked away but honestly I was so shocked. I hadn't pegged you felt that way at all. And then JJ... Look, all I'm gonna say is that I'm pretty sure I saw some tongue in there and you weren't the only one who was breathing hard when you pulled apart. No wonder she got a bit hot under the collar when you asked her to undress you."

My mouth had fallen open. I'd kissed JJ, JJ had kissed me back, and then she'd agreed to undress me knowing how I obviously felt about her? I wasn't sure if I wanted to call her back right now or crawl back into bed and never speak to anyone—especially JJ, Rossi and Morgan—ever again.

Morgan seemed to sense my dilemma. "You've got a lot to think about, princess," he told me, standing up.

This time I didn't protest as he made to leave.