A random phrase just occurred to SG-chan as she was doing her homework: "I don't know how to tell you this, Shinichi, but I'm pregnant." Muses immediately discounted Ran, considered Kaito being serious, shoved Kaito being serious down a drain, and concocted this monstrosity. Enjoy, and don't forget to review, please!
Princess
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 353
"I don't know how to tell you this, Shinichi, but I'm pregnant." Shinichi looked up from where he been reading, blinking. The others who were there, Ran, Sonoko, Heiji, Eisuke, Hakuba, Aoko, and Akako, also blinked. They looked at this girl who had just randomly burst into the Kudo house and claimed to be carrying Shinichi's child.
"What the hell now?" the Meitantei of the East inquired.
"You've been cheating on Ran, Kudo-kun??" Sonoko shrieked at him.
"What?? Wait, no, I-" At Sonoko's shriek, the floodgates opened.
"What?"
"How could you, Kudo-kun?"
"She's yer girlfriend!"
"You two have actually made it past first base?"
"Quiet!!!" Ran shouted. Everyone turned to her. "You guys, Shinichi and I aren't in that kind of a relationship," she explained.
"But you two have been pinin' after each other fer forever!" Heiji scratched his head in bafflement.
"Yeah, well, that's because Ran was trying to make the person she likes jealous," Shinichi nodded.
"What?" Everyone turned to the karateka, who was fiddling with a strand of her hair.
"Well, um, uh, I, well…" she trailed off a moment. "Oh, I can't take it anymore!" Ran burst, then grabbed Sonoko and started heavily making out with her.
"Whoa." Heiji blinked. "That's surprisingly hot." The other boys nodded.
Aoko huffed. "Oh, no you don't, Saguru. You watch me and Akako-chan enough, I swear."
"Indeed," the sorceress agreed. The two girls then seized the British teen and led him, uncomplaining, off to a different part of the house.
"Well, now that that's out of the way." The random girl who'd started this all was suddenly obscured in a cloud of smoke. When it cleared, Kaito was holding Shinichi bridal style.
"Kaito, put me down!" Shinichi sputtered, blushing.
"Aw, c'mon, princess, don't tell me you don't like it," Kaito cooed.
"Don't call me 'princess!'" Shinichi protested as he was carried away.
Heiji turned to Eisuke. "You wanna be my princess?" he inquired with a leer. Eisuke blushed.
That was the completely crackiest thing SG-chan has ever written (she thinks). She hopes her parents never read any of this, or they may question her sanity more than they already do...
