Nico played it all in her head.
It would be fine, right? She'd just ring the doorbell, Kotori would open the door, they'd share a hug and she would walk into the apartment. Simple.
So why was Nico so scared?
She glanced at her watch; it was nearly seven. Holding her breath, Nico jabbed her finger on the doorbell, perhaps a little harder than she had meant to.
Follow the script. Follow the script. Follow the script.
C'mon Kotori, Nico urged, open the door.
The door opened and Nico threw her script away.
"You're not Kotori," she blurted out when she met amber eyes that definitely didn't belong to her ash haired friend.
"What. Are you doing here." As cold as ever, Nico thought. She didn't think she would have changed at all.
"Umi," Nico greeted with a nod, hoping her opposite wouldn't notice the shaky tone in her voice. "I-I could say the same for you."
"Get out," Umi spat, pointing a finger that went over Nico's shoulder. "I do not know why you are here and I do not want to know."
"Umi-chan, stop!"
Umi's face immediately softened, and she turned around, her back facing Nico. "Kotori?"
"Umi-chan, I invited her here." Nico peeked behind Umi's shoulder. She could see Kotori, clad in a plain T-shirt and a pink skirt. She sent Nico a small smile before focusing on the other woman. "Please don't chase her out."
"I see."Calmly, Umi turned back to face Nico. Eyes still set on the black haired woman, Umi answered, "In that case, I will leave." Kotori made no attempt to stop her, instead handing the blue-haired woman her coat and waving her goodbye.
"I'm sorry," Kotori said softly, when Umi could no longer be seen, far beyond their vision. Gingerly, she placed a hand on Nico's shoulder. "No one's been acting like themselves lately. Not after…"
Not after I left, Nico finished bitterly in her head, knowing too well that Kotori was too tactful to include that. The younger woman led her inside, and Nico took the chance to observe her house. It wasn't small, but it wasn't huge either, and the minimalistic theme was somewhat aesthetically pleasing. Nico liked it.
She followed Kotori to the dining table. "Have a seat," she offered, and Nico hated the way she was treated like a stranger. Maybe Kotori did hate her. Maybe there was some kind of grudge held there, and the ash-haired woman was trying to do everything to get rid of it.
"Katsu curry," Kotori smiled a little as she set the plate down in front of Nico, "it used to be your favourite."
"Still is," Nico answered. "Thank you," she paused. For inviting me to your house. For being kind. For pretending not to hate me. "For the food."
"Let's eat."
Nico nodded, and tentatively scooped up a bit of the curry to taste it. It was rich in flavor; it tasted like memories. She held back a sob.
"Nico-chan…" Said woman looked up. Kotori was smiling sadly at her plate. "We were upset, you know."
I know. I know that more than anyone else. Nico didn't answer.
"We'd thought…We'd thought that after all those years, you'd never have to leave us." Kotori stopped for a moment, as if she expected Nico to interject. When no response found its way out of Nico's mouth, the younger woman continued. "And for most of µ's, that sadness turned into anger. Towards you.
"Maki-chan came to me, after you left. She told me about how you told her you were leaving, before you told the rest of us. And that she told you not to go. She was crying, Nico. She was so upset because she thought you'd stay. For us. For her."
"Stop." Kotori stopped, but Nico didn't. "Just stop, okay? I know I messed up! I know I'm a huge asshole for leaving! But don't ever use Maki against me that way!"
The ash-haired woman stared. Nico continued rambling. "I know she told me to stay! But I had to leave! I…I left because of her."
"Nico-chan…"
"No. I…thank you for dinner." Hurriedly, Nico stood up and rushed to the front, throwing on the coat she had hung neatly beside the door. Kotori followed behind slowly. Nico felt a bit bad for just leaving so suddenly, but she couldn't afford to mess up more than she already had.
Kotori opened the door for her. Nico tried for a smile, and the younger woman returned it easily.
"Thanks," she said again, and turned her back to Kotori.
"Nico-chan?"
Nico stopped walking. "What?"
"Maki still loves you. I'm sure she does." The door clicked shut.
Nico stepped out of the gate, and the words hung heavily behind her.
And for most of µ's, that sadness turned into anger.
Most.
Most.
If Kotori had said most, then did that mean not everyone was upset? Did it mean that Kotori wasn't the only one who could accept her? Nico shook her head to clear the thoughts; if Nozomi was mad at her – Nozomi, the playful, cheerful Nozomi – then it couldn't be possible that anyone else wouldn't be.
She shouldn't have left.
Nico slammed her knuckles against the wall. The bumps grazed her skin, but the pain hardly fazed her. She shouldn't have left.
It would have been fine. Everything would have been perfectly okay if she hadn't left. If only she just stayed, instead of trying to protect Maki from the monster that was herself.
Maki stills loves you. I'm sure she does.
It's a lie! Nico wanted to scream. Maki wouldn't love her – couldn't. Not after what she did.
No wonder everyone hated her now.
To µ's, Maki was one piece. Nico was another. They were two separate pieces connect thinly; if one left, the other would crumble.
Nico left.
Maki crumbled.
