Dean POV

"I'm not sure, Sammy. But this, this place looks familiar I know I've seen it befo—Son of a bitch! I know where we are." I can't believe that we're here. Oh god what if Sam sees the stuff I've hidden in here.

"Where the hell is here?" Sam asked.

"My head Sam. We're in my head. Fucking witches man." I said.

"Well how the hell do we get out of here? I don't want to be stuck in your head forever. How do we get out of here?" Sam asked.

Suddenly I remembered all the times Cas visited my dreams and I knew that if anyone could join us and get us the hell out of here it would be him. This has to work because the place we are in is the vault of bad memories in my mind and Sam didn't need to be privy to those.

"Dear Castiel who art busy fixing heaven. If you have a moment me and Sam could really use your help. Some witches trapped us in my head if you could please get us out of here. Breaker, breaker." I opened my eyes again and looked around.

"It didn't work Dean. He's not here. Maybe he-" Sam said, but I was busy looking over his shoulder at Cas who was walking towards us.

"Sam shut up and turn around." I interrupted.

"Dean what happened?" Cas asked as he stopped beside me.

"We were on a hunt and the witches we were after threw some spell at us and one of them grabbed me—I guess that focused it on me—and then we ended up here. Can you get us out of here?" I questioned.

"Yes of course Dean." Cas said as he reached and placed two fingers on mine and Sammy's heads. We waited and nothing happened.

"Um Cas we're still here." I said.

"Yes I know. Something is keeping me from taking you out and from leaving now that I am here. I believe that this is a very old spell and the only way to break it is to finish it. We are going to have to follow the path out of your consciousness. We should go through the door and then we will have to watch whatever memory the room contains before the next door will appear. Do you know where this door leads?" Cas asked.

"I'm not sure exactly, but you're not gonna like it. This is the place I keep all the worst memories so I don't have to think about them. Is there any way I can go through alone and then we'll all be free since the spell was aimed at me? I promise no one wants to see what's on the other side." I was worried Sam would hate me for this. I'm just glad I don't keep memories of Hell or Purgatory in here but rather in the deepest parts of my mind locked down in a vault.

"I am afraid not Dean. We must all go through together now." Cas said.

"It can't be that bad Dean. We can handle it. Let's just hurry and get the hell out of here so we can catch the witches before they can skip town." Sam said striding forward to open the door. I turned to follow with Cas close on my heels. When the door shut behind us I noticed the run down room and my younger self kneeling in the corner and internally grimaced at the thought of what memory this was.

"Hey I know this. This is that Asylum with the Ellicott guy right? This is a bad memory? Why? We killed the ghost and we weren't hurt, and we saved those two kids." Sam was asking but I just ignored him because I knew what was about to happen. I felt Cas place his hand on my shoulder in support because he knew what was coming. He had seen it in my mind before. I turned around just as the scene started.

[Memory 1 starts]

Sam-Dean. (Raises shotgun at Dean, Dean looks shocked, blood drips down Sammy's nose) Step back from the door.

(Dean stands and turns to face Sammy)

Dean-Sam put the gun down.

Sam-Is that an order?

Dean-It's more of a friendly request

Sam-Cause I'm getting pretty tired of taking your orders.

Dean-I knew it. Ellicott did something to you, didn't he?

Sam-For once in your life shut your mouth.

Dean-What are you going to do Sam? The guns filled with rock salt it's not gonna kill me.

(Sam shoots Dean in the chest and he flies through the door into another room.)

Sam-No but it'll hurt like hell.

(Dean wakes up gasping and coughing)

Dean-Sam. We've got to burn Ellicott's bones, then all this will be over, and you'll be back to normal.

Sam-I am normal. I'm just telling the truth for the first time. I Mean, why are we even here? Cause you're following dad's orders like a good little soldier? Cause you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?

Dean-This isn't you talking Sam.

Sam-That's the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I'm not pathetic like you.

Dean-So what are you going to do? Are you going to kill me?

Sam-I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. We're no closer to finding dead today then we were six months ago.

Dean-Well then here. Let me make it easier for you. (Dean reaches into his jacket and pulls out his handgun) go on take it. Real bullets are gonna work a Hell of a lot better than rock salt. Take it.

(Dean is handing the gun to Sam and Sam snatches it. Pointing it at Dean.)

Dean-You hate me that much? You think you can kill your own brother? (A look of resignation falls over Dean's face. He has accepted his fate.) Then go ahead. Pull the trigger. DO IT!

(Sam pulls the trigger and it clicks. He pulls it 2 more times. Dean reaches up and hits him in the face with the gun before getting up.)

Dean-Man, I'm not gonna give you loaded pistol.

(Knocks Sam out. Then pats him on the back.)

Dean-Sorry, Sammy.

[Memory 1 ends]

As the memory fades we are left standing in an empty room with a door on the other side, probably there to lead me to more hurt.

"That's one of your worst memories? Dean I apologized. You know that was the ghost controlling me. I couldn't kill you you're my brother. We need to talk about this." Sam said looking at me with hurt in his eyes. Cas just stands there patiently with his hand still on my shoulder offering me support.

"Let's just stow this right now, Sammy. Let's just open the door and see what other crap those bitches are going to drag us through." I said as I strode forward to yank open the door knowing they would follow me.

Once we were inside the new room and the door shut I realized what this was. Oh god I never wanted Sam to know about this. That's why I lied when it happened. Son of a bitch here we go I thought as I saw myself turn to face the other version of myself.

[Memory 2 starts]

(Dean walks into a room and Dream Dean turns around to greet him.)

Dream Dean-Hey dean.

Dean-Well, aren't you a handsome son of a gun.

Dream Dean-We need to talk.

Dean-I get it. I get it. I'm my own worst nightmare. That it? Huh? Like the "Superman III" junkyard scene a little "Mano Y Mano" with myself?

Dream Dean-Joke all you want, smartass. But you can't lie to me. I know the truth. I know how dead you are inside...how worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror...and hate what you see.

Dean-Sorry, pal. It's not gonna work. You're not real.

Dream Dean-Sure I am. I'm you.

Dean-I don't think so. Cause see this is my siesta...not yours. All I got to do is snap my fingers, and you go bye-bye.

(Dean snaps and nothing he snaps 5 more times and still nothing.)

Dream Dean-I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you.

(The door slams and locks behind Dream Dean.)

Dream Dean-Like I said... (Raises shotgun)...We need to talk.

(Dream Dean starts circling Dean as he beings to talk again.)

Dream Dean-I mean you're going to hell and you won't lift a finger to stop it. Talk about low self-esteem. (Chuckles) Then again I guess it's not much of a life worth saving, now, is it.

Dean-Wake up Dean. Come on. Wake up.

Dream Dean-I mean after all you got nothing outside of Sam. You are nothing. You're as mindless and obedient as an attack dog.

(Dream Dean comes to a stop in front of Dean)

Dean-That's not true.

Dream Dean- No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean your car-that's dads. Your favorite leather jacket-dads. Your music-dads. Do you even have an original thought? No. No, all there is, is "Watch out for Sammy. Look after your little brother, boy." You can still hear your dad's voice in your head, can't you? Clear as a bell.

Dean-Just shut up.

Dream Dean-I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you...boss you around. But Sam...Sam, he doted on. Sam, he loved.

Dean-I mean it. I'm getting angry.

Dream Dean-Dad knew who you really were-A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you!?

Dean-YOU SON OF A BITCH!

(Throws Dream Dean into the wall)

Dean-MY FATHER WAS AN OBSSED BASTARD!

(Dream Dean stands and Dean kicks him back into the wall then hits him across the face with his shotgun and shoves it into Dream Dean's throat holding him against the wall.)

Dean-All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam that was HIS crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family.

(Dean hits Dream Dean with the shotgun twice again.)

Dean-He's the one who let mom die! Who wasn't there for Sam! I ALWAYS was! It wasn't fair. I DIND'T DESERVE WHAT HE PUT ON ME! AND I DON'T DESERVE TO GO TO HELL!

(Dean shots Dream Dean twice in the chest. Dream Dean slumps back dead. Dean walks toward Dream Dean and looks at him. Dream Dean wakes up as a demon with black eyes. Dean steps back.)

Dream Dean-You can't escape me Dean. You're gonna die. And THIS-this is what you're gonna become.

[Memory 2 ends]

"Sammy I know what you're gonna say and—" I started but Sam cut me off.

"Oh really!? You do? This was what you saw when we had the dream root wasn't it? Dammit Dean. You told me you didn't see anything. Why'd you lie?" Sam shouted.

"I was trying to protect you Sam. That's my job. I just didn't want you to get hurt." I said.

"So it's better that you get hurt. Dean is that what you really think? That Dad loved me more? You didn't have to do it alone Dean. I just—I just. Agh! Dammit." Sam shouted as he turned and punched the wall.

"I believe we should head through the door before this memory starts again." Cas said as he ushered us towards the door.

God could it get any worse. I only hope that this ends before Sam gets a glimpse at some of the really nasty shit I have hidden away up here. It's like I told Jo, I'm 90% crap and 10% real. Problem is now Sam and Cas are getting a glimpse into my head and I know that if I can't handle this shit then they certainly won't be able to.