Chapter Two

The next morning when Jarvis loudly announced the time and the sunlight began to stream through the windows, Tony Stark let out a moan, covering his throbbing head with the closest pillow. He was so not ready to face the day. "Jarvis, keep it down, will ya? My head is killing me."

"Not surprising, sir. You did party quite hard last night. Miss Potts can attest to that."

When Jarvis mentioned Pepper's name, Tony clutched the pillow over his face harder as the images from the night before flashed before his eyes. Last night. He had acted like a complete fool. The last thing he remembered was playing Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots with Rhodey in front of his party guests, and then Pepper had stepped in to stop them. And before that he had tried to kiss her right after he had peed in his suit. Oh shit. He was in so much trouble. Maybe he could suffocate himself with this pillow and not have to deal with the aftermath of his stupidity.

"Sir, you are aware that Colonel Rhodes left with a suit last night?"

"Yes, Jarvis. I'm aware." That had been his plan all along. He wanted Rhodey to have a suit, and he couldn't just outright give him one. He would know something was going on, and he wasn't ready to admit to anyone he was dying. Just thinking about how those closest to him would react to the news made his headache worse. It throbbed in time with his pulse. He didn't want to think right now. He wanted to go back to sleep for the next few days.

"You know, sir, there were better ways to handle the situation instead of destroying the house. Next time, why don't you ask me, and I will give you all available options."

Tony growled into the feathers. "Jarvis, would you please shut up?" He was one-hundred percent sure, if he had programmed Jarvis to laugh, that is exactly what he would be doing.

"I'm sorry, sir, one more thing before I let you catch up on your beauty sleep. I thought I would alert you to the fact that Miss Potts never left. She is currently downstairs trying to rectify the situation you created for yourself last night."

That got his full attention. Tony shot up straight in bed, blinking away sleep as his eyes slowly adjusted to the brightness of his surroundings. That was when he realized he wasn't where he should be. He wasn't in his own room. The decor was all wrong. Everything was wrong. No wonder the pillow had smelled so good. It smelled like Pepper. This was Pepper's room. He was in Pepper's bed. His heart-rate skyrocketed. How in the hell had he gotten here? Oh shit. What had he done? "I really need to lay off the alcohol," was the only thing he could think to say because thinking about what may have happened last night made him feel all sorts of inappropriate things.

"You said it, sir. I did not." Jarvis' quip was a slap back to reality.

"Jarvis..." Tony warned but there was no actual threat in his tone. He was more amused than anything. He enjoyed the fact Jarvis told it like it was. It made him seem more human than computer. He still could not remember everything that had happened. "Jarvis, how did I get here?"

"Miss Potts, brought you here, sir, because your bedroom currently has a hole in the floor. She did not want you injuring yourself."

Tony ruffled his hair, nervously, almost afraid to ask the next question. "Where did she sleep?"

"In the chair across from the bed, sir."

Tony let out a sigh of relief. Part of him was glad nothing had happened between them, and yet a larger part of him was disappointed. He really didn't want to think about why that was. Although he was really curious as to what Pepper Potts would look like naked, spread out on his bed. He wondered if she had freckles in other more intimate places, and if she did, he wanted to play connect the dots with his tongue until she was squirming underneath him, moaning his name...

"Might I recommend a shower, sir? You did have a long night."

Jarvis' voice burst through his intimate thoughts and forced him to blink the wonderful images away. Tony rubbed at his eyes. Pull yourself together, Stark. Now is not the time for fantasizing about things that will never happen. It was then he realized he was wearing the same clothes he had to his party. He ran his tongue over his teeth. Ugh. He hadn't even brushed his teeth last night. He did feel a little grubby. "Jarvis, you are such a mother hen."

"Someone has to look after you, sir, and Miss Potts is currently too busy to do so."

"Thanks, Jarvis." Tony softly padded down the hall toward his own room, careful not to make any noise. He didn't want to alert Pepper to the fact he was awake just yet. He had to figure out what the hell he was going to say to her besides the obvious "I'm sorry," she was owed. When he entered his room and saw the damage he and Rhodey had left behind in their fighting match, he sighed. "I am such an idiot."

"No. No, that's not what I said at all. Don't quote me at all if you are not going to do it right."

Tony froze when he heard Pepper's strong voice drifting up from the hole in his floor. Leaning on his doorjamb, he paused to listen. Someone was getting a stern talking to, and he was glad it wasn't him.

"Look, I'll say it again. Mr. Stark may be a lot of things but he is not dangerous. It was only a party. Yes, it did get a little out of hand but no one in attendance was injured. There was damage done to his own property. This has nothing to do with Stark Industries so I would appreciate you leaving that alone or this conversation is over. Oh, really? Good. Now that is a question I can actually answer."

She was pissed. That much was obvious. He rubbed absentmindedly at his goatee while imagining being on the other side of the phone conversation, experiencing her wrath. You won't have to wait for long, Stark. You can bet she is coming for your ass. Since it didn't sound like she was any closer to getting off the phone, he decided to take Jarvis' advice. A shower did sound amazing.

In the master bath, he poured himself out a handful of Ibuprofen and dry-swallowed them, almost choking as they tried to refuse to slide down his throat. It burned a bit, but he deserved to suffer after what he had allowed to happen last night. He had just wanted to have a good time but everything had gone downhill so fast. Why hadn't he listened to Pepper when she told him he was out of control? She wasn't wrong. She was never wrong. He shrugged out of his suit and left it on the floor. His personal tailor would have fainted in shock at the fact he allowed a suit that cost what it did to fall into a crumpled pile in his bathroom but what did he care? He wouldn't be around long enough to wear it again anyway. He would make sure Pepper knew to donate all of his clothes to charity. Someone deserved to get the full use out of Tony Stark's crazy expensive suits.

As he stood under the shower-head and let the hot water run over his back and shoulders, he shuddered and let his head fall forward against the tiles. "Fuck," he whispered. "What am I doing?"

At least Jarvis understood it was a rhetorical question and did not offer a reply. He needed this time to himself to think. What was he doing? What he was doing was dying. He was also acting irrationally and hurting the people he cared about most. Because of the stupid stunt he pulled back in Monaco, Pepper and Happy could have easily been killed by that madman Vanko and it would have been all his fault. Even though the water was scalding his skin, he shivered at the thought of Pepper's death. If he was going to be completely honest with himself, if anything had happened to her, he would have ended it for himself right there and then because what would be the point of living in a world without Pepper Potts?

He told himself he had gotten shampoo in his eyes and that's the reason they were stinging but he was only lying to himself. His chest grew tight as he thought about the woman who stood by his side through everything. Pepper had always been there for him. Even if she didn't agree with what he was doing, she had pushed her own feelings aside and helped him. Who was he kidding? He was in love with Pepper Potts. He could finally admit it to himself but in the end it really didn't matter. How he felt about her didn't matter because in a couple of weeks time, he wouldn't be around to do anything about his feelings anyway. He would be dead, and his secret would die with him. Pepper would go on to live a normal life without him. She would be happy. That was the only thing keeping him moving forward. Pepper would be just fine in a world without Tony Stark.

Standing naked in front of the mirror, he ran a hand over his chest and tapped his fingers on the arc reactor as he examined himself. The lesions were getting worse. They were starting to spread up his neck. He would not be able to hide them for much longer unless he started wearing turtlenecks and then Pepper would absolutely know something was up. Tony Stark didn't do turtlenecks.

A few minutes later, Tony had finally finished freshening up and knew it was time to face the music. "Jarvis, where's Pepper?"

"Miss Potts is back in her room, sir."

After dressing himself in his favorite Black Sabbath t-shirt and a pair of jeans, he decided he couldn't avoid her. He didn't want to avoid her because every cell in his being was telling him to go to her. The door to her room was open part way so that meant she had to be decent, right? He raised his hand to give a couple of quick courtesy knocks but let his arm fall back to his side when he saw her. He would have thought Pepper would be yelling and screaming and cursing his name but he was oh-so wrong. She was sitting on the edge of her bed facing away from him, head in her hands, thin shoulders shaking. Her hair was covering her face, and she was silent but he knew she was crying. His Pepper was crying. And it was all his fault. He had acted like a complete jackass last night and hurt her. Seeing her like that made his insides twist. In that moment, he decided he would rather be hit by a freight train than be the cause of Pepper's tears ever again.

Somehow even though he hadn't made a sound, she knew he was there because she sat straight up. She had always been extremely in tune to his presence. He was surprised by her tone when she addressed him. There was no anger present. Only concern. "Why are you acting like this, Tony? What aren't you telling me?" When she turned her tear-stained face in his direction and he saw the pain etched into her beautiful features, he found he didn't have it in him to lie anymore. He didn't want to lie. Not to her. By not telling her the truth, he was causing her a great deal of pain. He thought pushing her away would make it easier on her when he finally died because if she hated him then she wouldn't hurt when he was gone. But even after all of the shit he put her through, she still cared. He's pretty sure she would always care. It was just the type of person she was.

But when he opened his mouth to explain why he was acting like a spoiled brat, nothing came out. What was he going to say? Just outright tell her the thing that was keeping him alive was also killing him? That he was being poisoned and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do about it? Tell her that he loved her and he wished they had more time...that he was a stupid bastard and should have kissed her back on the rooftop? Anything he said now would hurt her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Tony?" Pepper wiped the tears from her freckled face as he slowly approached her. Her blue eyes searched his brown ones for an explanation as he lowered himself onto the bed, purposely situating himself so the side of his neck with the lesions wasn't visible to her. They sat there side by side in silence, and Tony spent that moment in time just staring at her. He wanted to commit each and every inch of her to his memory so when he died, if by chance there was an afterlife, he could remember her just as she was in this very moment. It wasn't very often he saw her dressed casually. She was always so professional and put together but here she was dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts with her hair down. He liked her like this. He would have enjoyed the view of her long legs if the time had been right. And during all of his outright ogling, she stared right back at him just as intensely, and it wasn't weird. It wasn't weird at all. "Tony, please tell me what's going on."

But he couldn't. His voice was currently not working. Well, if he couldn't tell her what was happening then he could at least show her. He had never been more scared in his entire life than he was right now. With shaking hands, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and began to pull it over his head.

Shock registered on Pepper's face, and she tried to grasp his hands to stop him. "Oh no, you don't, Mr. Stark. Don't you dare think you can weasel your way out of this simply by removing your clothing. I'm not just another one of your one-night stands..." A gasp escaped her lips as he dropped the shirt on the floor next to him. She reached out a trembling hand to touch the lesions snaking out from the arc reactor. Her touch was feather-light, and he told himself not to move but he still shivered under her touch. "What is this?" she whispered.

"Palladium poisoning from the arc reactor." It was hard for him to speak. There was a lump in his throat that just kept growing bigger by the minute.

When Pepper's hand stopped over the reactor, Tony could have sworn his heart stopped too. He took a deep breath and didn't move, watching as her eyes darted back and forth as she took it all in. "How bad is it?"

No turning back now, Stark. "I'm dying, Pepper. I don't have much longer to live."

That was obviously not the answer Pepper had been expecting. Her eyes grew wider than he had ever seen them. "What? No. No, that's just not possible."

"Pepper..."

He could see the gears turning in her head. She was on her feet in a beat, beginning to pace back and forth in front of the bed before he could stop her. "I can't believe I didn't see it before. It all makes sense now. That's why you made me CEO. That's why you pulled that crazy stunt in Monaco. That's the reason you were acting more ridiculous than usual. You were planning on dying. Well, that's not happening. Not on my watch. There has to be something we can do about this. I'm not just going to roll over and let you die. We will fix this."

There was the Pepper Potts he knew and loved. Always a problem solver with a great head on her shoulders. And she actually said we. Not you will fix this. We will fix this. Tony would have smiled if his heart hadn't been breaking into a million indistinguishable pieces at Pepper's optimism to his deteriorating condition. She seemed hopeful but little did she know, there was no hope for him. He was a dead man on borrowed time.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to continue. "I've been working on it for awhile now, Pep. Jarvis and I have tried all existing elements to try and find a suitable replacement for palladium. None exist. I'm going to die..."

"No." Pepper said, shaking her head fiercely, as if simply refusing to believe his fate would be enough to save him. "No, I don't believe that."

Tony's shoulders sagged. "And there's nothing anyone can do about it. I've accepted it, Pepper. You have to as well. I'm dying. Sooner rather than later. I don't have much time left. You have to let me go." God, it hurt saying those words. The last thing he wanted was to let her go. He wanted to grab onto her and hold on for dear life but that would only be selfish of him. He was dying. She had her whole life ahead of her. He had to walk away now even if she was the one thing that kept him alive while he was being held hostage back in Afghanistan. While he was kept in those caves, just the thought of seeing her smile at him again gave him hope. It gave him the drive he needed to save himself. Pepper Potts meant everything to him. He only wished he had the time to give her the world because she of all people deserved it. He blinked back the tears threatening to surface. But someday someone else would. That thought alone would keep him going. Pepper would not be sad forever. No one as wonderful as her could stay sad.

From the intense look in her eyes, she was not accepting that his time was up. Not one bit. He didn't know what was going on behind those blue orbs but it was a battle of epic proportions. "You are not going to fucking die on me, Tony Stark." The ferocious certainty in her tone almost made him believe her. He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her so badly. "I won't let you." The next second her soft lips were on his, and any coherent thought he had was gone.