Title: Oculum
Pairing: Kurogane x Fai
Fandom: Tsubasa RESERVoir Chronicles
Theme: 15. Perfect Blue
Notes: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I never thought that this would be that popular xD Anyway, onwards! (I think they're rather OOC for this one, so yeah… bear with me again xD)

(x)(X)(x)

Blue.
Fai was alone. He had been alone for some time now, having left the other three back at the campsite with some semi-plausible excuse and a smile. The fact that they had not come to look for him was something of a comfort, as he liked to reflect on things by himself where he could control the clarity.
Though, somehow, whenever he went off alone in to his dream world, his thoughts always seemed to drift to one person… Ashura.
No! He longed to shout at himself. Ashura is sealed. Gone.
The last time he saw him, he had sealed Ashura, surrounded by ice and water.
Blue.
No, not just blue… Ashura was too perfect for that. Too perfect for him. And Fai had been cast away like a dalliance, like a nothing. Nothingness… void… black.
Perfect blue.
Fai's mask was slipping. The recollection of the past proved too much for him, with all his power and with his knees refusing to support him any longer, he collapsed, falling onto the ground with a soft thud, his lean frame shaking. Uncontrollable. Emotions were uncontrollable. Fury, anger, envy, greed. They were like an endless plague, yet Fai had stayed atop of them. But now he was here, alone, broken. The magician drew his knees up to his chest, and held them tightly as if all his problems would disappear if he stayed in that position. Alone.
Forever.

(x)(X)(x)

"He's been gone for some time now." Syaoran stated, looking intently at the fire, mesmerized. Sakura was already fast asleep on Fai's voluminous coat, with Mokona tucked snugly in the crook of her arm. "He does this every time we stop for camp."

Kurogane looked up. "He likes being alone." He said bluntly, going back to polishing his sword with the ragged cloth in his hand.

Syaoran sighed and closed his eyes. "Sometimes being alone too much is a bad thing. You start to think there's no one around that cares or worries about you. No person deserves that."
Kurogane stopped what he was doing and the camp was silent for a few minutes. Given, he had a lot of conflict with Fai, but most of it was just for show… he had to keep up his appearance, didn't he? Showing emotion meant showing weakness, because emotions were uncontrollable. He would never like to admit that there was a small part of him that joined with Syaoran in worrying about him and his escapades away from the rest of the group- he was too important. Too loved.

"I'll go look for him, then." The ninja said gruffly, leaning his blade against the nearest tree in his reach and retracing the direction they saw Fai leave in earlier. "Look after Sakura while I'm gone."

(x)(X)(x)

You deserved it, Fai. You know you did. Why are you running from the truth?

I didn't! I didn't do anything! I am running from nothing but a plague. A plague of emotions. YOU are a plague.

Me? Ashura did what he had to and you froze him. Suspended him in time. Your anger got the better of you.

I can control myself! What I did was justified, and now I will never have to deal with him again.

Running. Running away.

I'm not running! Stop this!

Running.

"STOP!" Fai screamed, locking his hands firmly over his ears and shaking his head, his body shaking violently with unreleased emotion.

(x)(X)(x)

When Kurogane heard a cry, he immediately knew it was the voice of the person he was looking for. Whirling around, he ran blindly in the direction he had heard it, dodging branches and thicket that blocked his path. As he neared the source, he heard quiet cries and slowed down to a jog. He stopped completely when he found Fai, sitting on the ground, shaking. There was something about the small gasps that the magician let out that made Kurogane feel like his heart was going to break; his breath was edged with pain and sorrow, head bent in agony. The ninja walked quietly up to the magician and knelt down next to him, tapping him on the shoulder. Fai jumped, obviously startled. He quickly made to wipe his eyes and smile, meeting Kurogane's gaze.

"I thought I told you not to follow me." He said quietly, his voice uneven and not as calm and collected as it usually was.

Kurogane scoffed. "You told us you were going for a walk. That's hardly comparable."

"Even so, Kuro-rin…" Fai grinned, but Kurogane didn't buy it. He scowled.

"Fai! Will you stop it!" He shouted, angered by the façade. Some things shouldn't be hidden, couldn't be hidden.

Fai looked innocently at him. "Stop what?" He continued, extending his arms and stretching, faking a yawn. Kurogane grabbed his arms and brought them towards him, toppling Fai over.

"Stop this. I mean it. Every time you tell us you're 'going for a walk', you come here and wallow in your agony. You put on a mask to hide it, from me, from Syaoran and Sakura, because you don't want to worry us. But you know what? Having you in a state like this worries me even more!"

Fai blinked a few times and looked away, arms still captured by Kurogane. "Is it really… that obvious…"

Kurogane let out a sigh. He had to do something, as out of character as it would seem… Fai's life was more important than what he wanted himself to be made out to be.

"Listen, Fai. You have to talk to someone about what's happened to you, it's the only way you can fix it. We all care about you too much to see you in a state like this, try hard as you might to hide it. Do you understand?"

Fai smiled sadly. "You've been doing your research, haven't you? Are you in danger of becoming a good man, Kurogane?"

Kurogane wanted to snort, but the time wasn't right for it. "I speak only the truth."

The truth. You deserved it. He lies.

Fai's face slowly distorted into an expression of pain, a tear running slowly down his cheek. The mask had been dissolved and now his true colours were being shown, ugly though they were.

Perfect blue.

Kurogane's eyes widened, still locked in a gaze with Fai. His eyes showed so made sadness and regret, the ninja didn't know what to do, but to follow instinct. Still holding Fai's arms, he drew the magician's frame towards him and held him tightly, Fai breaking down into repressed sobs, clutching at Kurogane.
All he could do was whisper words of comfort and slowly stroke Fai's blonde hair, while holding him as if he would never let him go. As Fai quieted down a little, Kurogane decided to screw his persona and go against everything he appeared to be. Kissing Fai's head lightly, he said to him, "No matter what you think, you're perfect to me in every way."

Perfect blue.