Chapter 1

T R I S

My name is Tris…Tris Prior.

I'm telling you this because it's the only memory that stayed with me since the day of the accident. It may not be my real name, but it'll keep me safe.

I don't know why I'm the only survivor, how the accident happened, or who my parents were. But there was something at the back of my mind that whispered my name. Tris, It said. Tris … I—but it ended there. Like there's a hidden barrier that just won't let the rest of the words through. The Prior...I don't know why it was the first thing that came to my mind, I wanted to change it, but somehow it stayed.

Right now I'm still lost. I decided to move on from the past and start a new life, but the guilt, the anguish and the loneliness still lingers somewhere, stalking me like I'm its prey. But I tried to brush it off, and I just can't. Why I'm telling you this is unfathomable, but maybe it's just the fact that I want someone to understand how lost my soul is right now. Someone to be able to understand the unbearable pain deep inside me.

I would be grateful for anyone who's willing to listen to my life's story, as damned and confusing it is. My life's one big tornado, friend, and it destroys everything in its path. Except for one. But enough for the fictional chit-chat and let me begin with my dramatic, probably-soap-opera-worthy life:

Two years have passed since the accident

Tori, the girl who took me in since they said I did not have any living relatives anymore, told me everything she could: I was an Abnegation (a faction who concentrated mainly on being selfless and caring), I was sixteen when it happened, and that I was now simply converted into Dauntless—another faction (there were five, Tori told me) that's primary trait was bravery.

The Dauntless were all below thirty, probably, and they were dare-devils or just plain bad-asses. I told Tori once that this wasn't bravery—it was stupidity—but all she said was, and I quote, "And we're damn proud."

In those two years, Tori was still a mystery to me. She was only a few years older than me, and worked as a tattoo artist, but she wasn't the type who likes to engage in a conversation. Neither did she like staying in a long one. But it was fine with me. She provides me my material and spiritual needs, I provide her with help and kindness. Unfair, I pointed out before, but she doesn't care, and I like that about her.

For the past two years I took into good use Tori's money and studied under Eric, one of the leaders. I couldn't go to Dauntless Academy yet without getting a certificate of approval from a leader. Seriously, I don't get it. Like we need to learn how to kill each other first before we can study and have jobs. Okay, okay, somehow it's convenient, but still weird.

Eric and I... well, Eric was only three or four years older than me and from what I heard from some he's as scary as hell. I couldn't disagree with the piercings and tattoos, but scary? Puh-lease. He's like a pit-bull—all bark and no bite—and trust me when I say he's taken a liking to me. Disgusting, I know, but it's pretty nice that he doesn't dare insult me.

So I trained with Eric during the day and competed in the Dauntless Undergrounds at night. That's where I met Christina, my best friend.

The Undergrounds was an arena that's literally underground where people of all (not actually) ages and sizes join to compete. I couldn't quite understand why, but it's a source of entertainment for the Dauntless. Winner gets money, obviously. And in those few fights of mine I received more than fifty thousand—winning each and every one. By the time I won fifty fights, they started calling me Princess, which doesn't sound Dauntless at all.

If it wasn't for Christina barging into my room that night I would never have met her and I wouldn't have a new and better nickname. And in some ways, I owed her. But it wasn't also for the better nickname.

"Joker," she told me that night. "Because, despite your small figure, you're tougher than cotton balls. I should know."

"Cotton balls?" I chuckled. "I think I'm tougher than those stupid cotton balls. But the stage name sounds awesome!" And in that moment we became best friends. It was a rather long story, and I'll save it for later.

Christina was actually the one who brought my "inner girl" out, as she calls it. Since Tori doesn't do girl-to-girl talk and most of the people around me are guys, I didn't actually believe in true love and girly clothes. But everything changed thanks to her.

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that Christina told me something interesting.

"Are you going to Dauntless Academy this year?" She asked me while we were at her apartment, lounging on her couch and watching action movies. I swear this girl is all too much of a guy and a girl at the same time. "Eric already approved that you go to D.A. right? Since he likes you and all. God, I get goose bumps just saying his name."

Stifling my laughter, I shook my head. "Yeah, but I'm not sure I should go. I mean people might not like me and they might laugh about my situation." Christina already knew about the fact I had amnesia two years ago, and she told me she didn't care if I was a ghost. I didn't know what she meant by that, but she decided to end the conversation at that, and I am grateful for it.

"You really should go. I don't want to go there without at least knowing someone."

"What about that guy Will? The one from your initiation two years ago who you said you had a crush on?" I smiled when her cheeks heated. Christina wasn't actually a Dauntless in-born; she was a former Candor who decided to go to Dauntless. She told me that she was tired of always being surrounded in a world of truth because it was like the Candor were pointing out that there's no perfect in life, that we're living in reality.

"Whatever. Just go with me. Please! I mean, you have a lot of cash stocked up for the whole semester, right?" She grabbed my arm and whimpered, making me laugh even more.

I wave her hands away. "Christie, I got enough to buy me a mansion!"

"Oh my God! Where—What—How... Ugh," She throws her hands in the air. "So are you going or not?"

"Well..." I trail off, teasing her a bit. My visage changes when she jumps out of the couch to kneel on the floor, much to my amusement, and clasps her hands together like she's praying.

"Fine, fine," I tell her, waving a flippant hand at her. "But if I'm going to do that I might need to move out."

"Then move out! You can pay your rents through your DUFs." Sometimes I'll never understand why she likes to abbreviate things. DUF stands for Dauntless Underground Fights, something she thought up with. Then with that small reminder, realization kicks in.

"But what if people from the DU know me there? Everyone's seen me and all, right?"

"Yeah, and you, Joker, will be the hottest, most awesome student in DA!" She beams, pretending to punch the air. "And I can kick their asses if they even talk about how lame you were at DU."

"Whatever," I roll my eyes and reach out to grab her wrist. "Better stop punching the air there, girl. You're as tough as cotton balls." She snorts at the dialogue she told me when we first met and I laughed. We never failed to put the 'tough as cotton balls' phrase in every conversation we make, be it about the Underground fights or picking out clothes.

~oOo~

And here I am now, staring at the ridiculously large building called Dauntless Academy, where everything is just too mainstream.

"Come on," Chrstina says, grabbing my wrist. A few minutes ago Christina decided to barge into my room (I still haven't bought my own yet, but I think I can make-do for now) to make sure I was still going. When I told her I can't because my legs feel sore from yesterday's DUF, she said, "I don't give a damn, woman. Now go and prepare yourself while I pick out your clothes. I need you to make a good first impression on the first day."

As we push open the doors, the musky smell of danger, sweat and excitement welcomes us.

I don't know if this was what I expected and I'm glad it was, or just downright disappointed for the stereotypical image: people making out, bullies, emo people and the casual smart-asses. Except for one thing: we're Dauntless—badass punks who learned to kill before we could learn of the Dauntless history, so we're more than just that.

"So," Christina says with a nervous laugh as a one kid throws a knife at another kid's locker. "Welcome to Dauntless Academy."

"Hmmm."

"Well... We should go get our schedules from the office." My grip on my messenger bag tightens and I nod. I'm used to seeing people with piercings and tattoos, but somehow, when it's your first day in "high school", you're bound to feel like you're going to throw up sooner or later.

As we walk through the halls, people's eyes snap to our direction, their gazes lingering on me. My hand reaches for Christina's arm and I try not to meet their stares. Christina gives me an encouraging nod, and we continue walking.

"Joker," I hear one of them say. My head turns to the brown-haired boy a few feet behind me. Behind him is a somewhat taller version of him, probably his brother. Before I could ignore him, the boy winks at me. I turn around, but he's not there, and so is his brother.

A hundred stares and steps latter, we stop in front of a wooden door that reads HEAD OFFICE on the glass. I knock three times before opening the door.

"Excuse m—"

My eyes focus on the guy standing before me. And I think time stopped for me to drink in his features. He's wearing black jeans, a black leather jacket and a dirty-white shirt underneath it, fitted enough to show the shape of his abs. His blue eyes are staring at me—more of like my body—and I see something flash in them, but it was too quick for me to see. My lips suddenly feel dry, so I lick them. It might give him the wrong impression, but I don't care.

He looks too familiar that it makes my head spin and my heart jump, but the second one was for a completely different reason.

This boy knows how to take my breath away, and it's one thing I'm afraid of.

For what seemed like hours later, Christina coughs, brining me back to reality. I blush at the way I gazed at the mystery boy. "Uh, hi. Is the secretary here?" He goes silent for a while, but he looks at me and smiles. Kill me if it's wrong to smile back.

"Yeah," He says, his voice low and sexy like I imagined it to be. He rakes a hand through his dark brown hair and licks his lips. "She'll be here in a few."

"Okay." I move toward one of the metal chairs near the desk and he moves to the door. Our arms brush at some point and it sends an electric current down my spine that results in a shudder. I swear there's something about him—something I should know—that I just can't put my finger on.

"Well, I'll be going then."

"Ah. Thank you…"

"Four." He chokes out, and I'm wondering why his name is a number. But somehow it suits him—It feels right.

"Four," I repeat, a smile plastered on my face. Again, an emotion flashes in those blue orbs, and I'm still not fast enough to know what it was. His lips curve to a crooked smirk as he opens the door.

"No problem, Tris." And with that, he's gone, leaving me wide-eyed and silent as his words sink in. Tris. He called me Tris.

I gaped at the door. He knows my name, and I never told him. And he sounds… he sounds familiar in ways that my heart can recognize, but it won't tell me.

"Tris, babe, did you see him?" Christina chirped. "Of course you did! You two looked at each other like you're having eye-sex or something! Did you see the way he looked at you? He's undressing you with his eyes, and from the way you looked at him it seems your doing it to him, too."

My cheeks colored and I stuck my tongue out. "It was just… He kind of seemed familiar, don't you think?"

Her playful smile falters. "From the Undergrounds?"

I shake my head no. "Like he's really familiar. Like I know what his voice sounds like and how he would react. And he knows my name."

"Of course you know how sexy his voice would sound. Maybe you used to be forbidden lovers pre-accident and when you lost your memories he decided to go here and—"

"I'm from Abnegation," I reminded her. "My life is anything but romance and drama. But he really looks familiar, and he doesn't look like an Underground person. I mean, he does, but I've never seen him in the crowd before."

"Maybe you just didn't see him before, since you have so many fans and all."

"He knows my name!" I wailed. "No one knows my name except Emilio, Tori, Eric and you. They never allowed us to use our real names remember?"

She nods, realization sinking into her brain. Finally. "Maybe he's been stalking you? Or he's from your past?" Okay, okay, maybe not finally. I roll my eyes. I'm certain a guy wouldn't want to stalk me knowing my reputation. And if he was from my past, then why would I know someone who's a Dauntless? As far as I remember you can't talk to people from other factions unless you've known them before you had your Choosing Ceremony or if they're your family... And I don't have them anymore.

Before I could voice out my words, the lady-secretary enters from the other door. I sigh and try to block all my thoughts about Four and how sexy he is and how he knows my name.

Minutes later, we exit the room only to be met by the boy from the halls. He's with two girls: the one on his right holding on his bicep with a flirty smile on her lips, the other has a mischievous smirk and it looks like she shaved her hair. And behind the boy is his look-alike or brother, either way works.

"So you're new here?" He says, and I nod.

"Welcome to Dauntless Academy," The girl on his right cooed, but she's glaring at me.

"Welcome, Stiff and 6th Rank." The other girl says. So I'm guessing they and Christina shared some memories during Initiation.

"Stiff?" I ask, glancing at Christina then the bald-girl. I flinch when the guy's brother starts to speak. I forgot he was there.

"A Stiff is what we call the Abnegations, since you are one. We know you, Joker." He walks forward and raises his hand in front of me. "The name's Zeke." I take his hand and we shake.

'The girl on my right is Marlene, Uri's girl." He points to Ms. Clingy. "And the other is Lynn." He nods to the bald girl. Lynn gives a stern look and salutes before nudging Uriah.

"And the kid—" Before he could finish, he's shoved to the right by his brother. He hugs me tighter than Christina ever did, and I think I literally lost my breath.

"I'm Uriah, Zeke's younger brother. I can't believe the Joker's going to study in DA!" He exclaims, holding me tighter while bouncing like a little boy who's waiting for his ice cream. Marlene's clutching on Uriah's shirt, a growl on her beautiful face, and Lynn's trying to sniffle her laughter. Zeke moves toward Christina and they shake hands, apologizing for Uriah's behavior. Uriah moves away from me, smiling. "I will never wash this shirt. The Joker is fucking studying here. At Dauntless Academy. The Joker!"

"Shut up, Uri." Zeke puts his hand on Uriah's shoulder and smiles. "Sorry for him. He's a big fan of yours and all. So you and Christina are new here?"

"Yeah," Christina says. "We just got our schedules a while ago." Zeke asks for our schedule sheet and we show it to him. A minute later he nods and returns it to us. "The six of us have the same lunch periods. Christina, you have the same physics class with Lynn and history with me. Joker, you have the same chemistry and P.E. class with Uri and Lene." Oh great, but I don't dare show my irritation. Instead, I give him the brightest fake-smile I could put up. But something about the way he address me makes me uncomfortable. So I tell them:

"Tris," I correct him. He looks at me like I said something stupid and I tell him again. "Tris. Call me Tris." I don't know why I said it, but somehow I trust these people. Even Marlene.

"Tris, then." Zeke nods. "Well we better go. I have Computer Lab. and it's almost time. Do you know where your rooms are?"

"Sure," Christina replies. "We both have HRC first. What's that, anyway?"

"You'll find out. It's an exciting class, I tell ya." Lynn says, and I realize it's the first thing she's ever said to us. The four wave us goodbye, Uriah still a little jumpy, and we part ways.

When we reach the HRC room, the bell strikes and the mutters fade into silence. We move to the two empty seats at the back, ignoring (again) the stares directed at me. "What do you think this is?" Christina whispers as we sit at the last row, but I don't dare answer her. My eyes zoom in on Four, who's sitting in front of me.

Christina notices this and nudges my ribs. I wince and a groan escapes my lips, earning Four's attention. He looks at me with a smirk on his face, and we stay like that until the teacher enters the room. When I turn to Christina she has one brow raised and her smile is from ear to ear. 'Eye-sex,' She mouths, and I blush.

But I still couldn't fathom why this Four guy looks familiar, and how his voice and eyes seem to look into my soul.

"Welcome class," The teacher, a blond woman probably in her mid-twenties, says. "First, who can tell me what HRC is? I'm only asking this because it seems we have two new students here." She smiles at us. Four raises his hand and I, despite being behind him, could feel a smile forming from his lips.

"Human Reproduction Class," He pronounces them slowly, in a way that makes the word sound like a forbidden erotic word. The atmosphere suddenly changes, and by the way Christina uncomfortably shifts in her seat, I could tell she feels it, too. Four goes on. "Or in simple terms: Sex Education. Where we learn about the functions of the human reproductive system… and sex, obviously. Lots and lots of sex."

Ho-ly-shit.

It seems like he's talking to me and this makes me squirm in my seat. And I couldn't figure out why the classroom is so hot, even when the air conditioning is turned to high-cool. Some girls start to fan themselves. One said, "A great way to start Monday for the first class." And I couldn't agree more.

The teacher blushes and motions the swooning girls and sexually encouraged guys to quiet down. I look at Christina, who is still uncomfortable in her seat, and try to tone down my laughter. Four turns to me again, brows raised, and I give him my best what-you-said-didn't-affect-me smile. He chuckles and turns to where he's supposed to be looking again. I exhale the breath I didn't realize I was holding.

This is definitely going to be a long day.


A/n: SUE ME FOR MAKING FOUR LOOK LIKE A SEXY BADASS because he'll be like that for the first few chapters. And whoa, 3k plus words! Apologies for the length, guys. The recap of Tris' first two years in Dauntless is kinda long. But the next few chapters will be shorter. I hope.

A little uneeded info: Tris and Four are both 18 here. Tori and Eric are 22. And there is one person in the school who's a traitor; try to keep your eye on him/her in the upcomming chapters and tell me who you think it is~

(update) I will be posting a new Shatter Me fanfic entitled "Ignite Me" so if you liked Shatter Me then stay tuned for my fanfics! It won't have the same writing style as Mafi's, but it's beautiful in it's own way. If ever Mafi announces that the book is entitled "Ignite Me" I will switch the title to "Break Me" or "Save Me"

If you have any suggestions, questions or in need of someone to listen to your life's story, I'm always here, loves.

DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE A REVIEW, or else I won't continue this story~ (Seriously)

I've also posted my favorite quotes from my stories on my profile description. Most quotes won't be seen until the future chapters, but if you want a teaser of my story you can check my quotes section.