Title: Legally Sane 2: Psychological Trauma
Pairings: HieixOC plus KuramaxBotan and YusukexKeiko and some unrequited KuwabaraxYukina
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho; I do own Lydia and the story...As well as any other OC's I manage to create.
Chapter Two: Are We There Yet?
The week passed me by in a blur of exams and late-night cram sessions; and when Friday finally rolled around, I was more than happy to crash on my couch with some Chinese take-out and a romantic chick flick with my roommate Keiko.
Unfortunately, I had work.
"You want fries with that?"
I stood there with one hand on my hip, the other holding a battered order taking notebook- trying in vain to avoid the groping hands.
"No- But I'd like a side order of those juicy melons of yours…" came the slick reply from a nameless jock with messy brown hair and blue eyes; which were now staring quite openly at my chest.
I restrained the urge to bop him one on the nose. For the love of God! Sometimes I wished I'd never developed; I missed my flat chest and narrow body because nobody found me attractive and therefore I was left alone. This was one of those times.
"I'm not on the menu!" I snapped, taking a large step back with a hand tugging down the obscenely short skirt I was forced to wear as part of my waitress uniform.
The group of lads snickered quietly, one of them going so far as to clap a friendly hand onto the offending jock's shoulder in a sign of support. I growled at that, my hand balling into a fist.
'Calm down, Lydz…Now is not the time for putting hormonal teenagers in their place! Remember what happened at Burger World!'
Yes- Who could forget the fiasco at Burger World? My violent antics had gotten myself and Keiko fired, and we were almost out on their ears that month due to funds being so low that we couldn't afford to pay the rent. Luckily enough, Yukina had stepped in with some tear gems she'd kept stowed away after watching King Kong with us that one time.
Taking a calm breath, I smiled winningly at them.
"I'll be right back with your orders, gentlemen."
And with that, I spun on my heel and flounced off towards the kitchen; pausing as the swinging door swung open to reveal Keiko and an armful of fast food. I winked at her, and she smiled back.
"How's it going?" she called out above the cheesy music.
"As good as can be expected," I replied, and after sharing a sympathetic look, we went our separate ways.
"Yo! Alvin!" I yelled, slamming the door behind me as best I could- Only for it to swing outwards, narrowly missing a patron. Oops.
"What?" came the cranky reply.
I peered through the greasy smoke, my hand above my eyes.
"I need two Big One's with fries and coleslaw! Make it snappy…The quicker I give it to them, the quicker I can serve everyone else and avoid them like the plague."
Alvin laughed, and soon enough his brawny physique came into view. His lank orange hair stuck up at odd angles from beneath his paper 'chef's' hat, his jaw smothered in three day old stubble and nicotine stained teeth a-glitter.
He was a nice guy, despite his unattractiveness.
"Two Big Ones comin up!"
I smiled at him, and pranced back outside, ready to serve the rest of the customers, my good mood restored. I raced from table to table; clearing up messes, entertaining hell spawn and helping the indecisive patrons with their orders.
The first hour passed by in a haze of cigarette smoke and loud chatter, and by that time my feet had begun to ache and my head was pounding like hell. That was probably why I hadn't noticed a certain someone entering the diner and soon enough, I found a beefy arm wrapped around my waist, hauling me back into a muscular lap.
"What the hell?!" I squeaked, coming face to face with none other than Johnson. My expression soured.
"Well hello to you too, love," he murmured, trying to nuzzle into the crook of my neck. "Mmn…You smell good. Like freshly slaughtered pig and onion dip."
My eye twitched. "Thank you for such a…Unique compliment. Now would you mind not poking my ass with your Millimetre Peter? I'd be entirely grateful."
Johnson's cheeks flushed, and I immediately regretted my harsh words when his hand slipped into my hair, dislodging the curls from their sloppy confines. I winced as he jerked my face closer to his, though I couldn't help the sneer my lips curled into.
"How about I show you what I'm packin…" he offered, his tone rough with bravado.
I was about to politely decline, when I felt a new hand on my slightly bare shoulder. I glanced over it, my expression brightening when I saw Yusuke- Keiko standing just behind him with a spatula held like a sword.
"Oi teme…" he drawled lazily, "That's my sister you're hitting on. I suggest ya let go before I get angry."
My grin grew as I caught Johnson's terrified expression, his hand unravelling from around my waist to point an accusatory finger dead in the middle of Yusuke's chest.
"Y-you're…Y-you're…"
"I'm…?" Yusuke arched an eyebrow, a cocky smile on his face.
"Urameshi Yusuke!"
"Bingo!"
I rolled my eyes, using this opportunity to slip out of Johnson's lax grip. My sneakers hit the worn linoleum and I sprang up next to Yusuke who immediately slipped his arm companionably around my shoulders. Keiko stood off to my left, her brown eyes glowing fiercely.
"I-I'm real sorry! I-it was just a misunderstanding!" Johnson babbled, sliding as far into the booth as was humanly possible.
"That better be all it was, ya hear? And I swear, if she gets called into the counsellor's office again cause of ya, I'll beat the livin tar outta ya? Understand?"
Johnson nodded, and I could see a visible moist patch slowly spreading around his crotch area. I averted my eyes, and snickered into my fisted hand. Keiko also saw, but didn't have the decency to hold her amusement in; she burst out into fits of laughter, clutching her stomach, and Yusuke snorted with mild disgust.
"C'mon girls. Ain't your shift finished yet?"
We nodded, and quickly shot off to the back to change; reappearing moments later in the generic jeans and sweatshirts. Yusuke walked us back to the apartment, and just before he left, he told us he'd be here the next morning.
"…Why?" I asked, confused.
"Don't tell me you forgot about the party at Genkai's place…" Keiko sighed in exasperation, a hand slamming against her forehead.
I blinked, then smacked my right fist into my left palm. "Oh yeah! But wait…That means I have to drive…"
We all paled, and blue sickness lines streaked down Yusuke's face; though he tried to be a man about it.
"Yeah…Well, I'll catch you hot ladies tomorrow!"
And then he was gone, leaving us to sweatdrop at his sudden departure. Well he was sprinting down the street as if the hounds of hell were snapping at his heels…
"My driving isn't that bad is it?" I turned to Keiko.
"…No, not your driving…It's just the car…" Keiko shivered, and we leapt into each other's arms as we glanced at the object of everyone's terror.
"Keiko…It's staring at us…" I whispered in horror.
"N-no it's not! It…" The front lights blared at us, then switched off again. "…Okay, your car just winked at us. I am formally freaked out."
My eyes widened and I shook my head swiftly, shuffling backwards into the apartment complex. When the crappy alarm system went off all by itself, I shrieked and threw myself into the building, scrambling frantically up the stairs with Keiko hot on my heels.
"Every man for himself!"
Needless to say, Keiko and I barely got any sleep that night.
The next morning was a bright one. The sun shone, the skies were a vivid blue and cloudless, and the breeze was balmy. Aah…How I love summer! Well, the beginnings of summer- It gets ridiculous halfway through June. Seriously…Who likes having their shirt stick to their back while they stand as still as possible stinking up the place with uncontrollable body odour?
The only thing that dampened our mood was the car.
"Road trip! Who calls shotgun?!" I called as enthusiastically as I could, despite the sudden tick that had taken residence at the corner of my left eye.
When the only response I received was that same lonely wind, followed closely by a random tumbleweed, I glanced over my shoulder to see if my passengers were still there and hadn't by any chance chickened out.
Nope they were still there, but they were staring at my car with something akin to absolute panic. I laughed nervously, and performed a mock bow, my hands gesticulating at the hunk of junk behind me.
"Your chariot awaits yonder, Ladies and Gentlemen…"
Shizuru was the first to compose herself, and after lighting up, she sauntered over to the car, claiming the front seat.
"Hurry up you bunch'a chicken shits," she yelled over her shoulder, fiddling with a strand of brown hair. "If I'm man enough to call shotgun, then the rest of you can tough it out in the back seat."
Yusuke sighed and followed the older woman's lead, dragging a protesting Keiko behind him. Once he'd settled by the window on the right side, he slipped an arm around Keiko's waist.
"What's the worst that can happen, eh Keiko? I've died twice already…I doubt this car will be the end of me…Or you." He added, trying to reassure my best friend.
So that left Kuwabara and Kurama- The latter deciding to drag his ass to my house for fear of me actually forgetting him. What? It happens! I have a shitty memory.
"Kazu!" Shizuru barked commandingly when he refused to budge an inch, his face scrunched up as if he were constipated. "Get your ass in the car, or I swear you'll wish you hadn't woken up this morning!"
The carrot top swallowed thickly and shot into the car without a second thought. Damn…Shizuru could be a scary bitch when she wanted to be…Especially when she smiled at me like that…Yes, I'm now officially scared.
"Lydia?"
The polite voice caught my attention, and I spun around to shoot Kurama a questioning look.
"Yeah?"
"There are no more seats," he pointed out gently.
Blinking, I turned back to give the interior of my car the once over. He was right…All the seats were occupied. So where the hell was I going to put the redhead? Scowling with consternation, I mentally shuffled the people around to find a solution to my problem. But no matter how many combinations I used, somebody would be inevitably left out.
That is, until an idea popped into my head.
Kurama sweated nervously as he caught sight of my unsettling grin, and I quickly rounded the side of the car, popping the trunk.
"The solution, my friend!" I declared, waving a hand at the boot of my car. "You shall have the esteemed honour of riding bareback!"
Bareback in my language, is riding in a car without a seat or seatbelt. Nifty, huh? Of course the fox didn't seem to see it my way, and he paled.
"No," he stated simply, taking a cautious step back.
"Whaddya mean 'no'?!"
"I'm sorry Lydia…As much as I value our friendship…I value my life more."
Growling with frustration, I advanced on the older teen, my hands outstretched and ready to snag the front of his shirt. I'd drag him kicking and screaming to the car if needs be.
"Kurama, quit being a damn sissy!" Yusuke bellowed from his seat. "I can't believe the most ruthless and cut throat demon in Makai is afraid of riding bareback in Lydia's car!"
"You only say that because you don't have to!" Kurama retorted hotly, sidestepping my attempts at trying to grab him.
A few minutes passed with curses spilling effortlessly from my lips, as he easily evaded my efforts; though after a miscalculated step, he ended up falling into my arms. I stopped him from making pretty with the asphalt, and hauled his squirming body over to the boot, thrusting him in and slamming the trunk lid. The locks automatically settled into place, and I smirked triumphantly.
"Ha! You shall suffer with the rest of us!"
My maniacal cackle drew many an uneasy eye, and I slid into the driver's seat once I'd subsided to insane giggles. I geared the engine, the car spluttering a few times before it finally caught. I shot everyone a reassuring grin, though I doubt they recognised it as such. Flooring the pedal, we lurched forward, then sped off towards the freeway; my friend's hysterical screams ringing in my ears.
"We're going to die!!"
"…I think I did something involuntary and messy in my pants…"
I grimaced at this, trying my best to fight the nausea that was roiling in the pit of my stomach. Ugh…I really shouldn't have eaten before our little voyage- And I think everyone else was thinking the same thing.
"So…That was what that smell was…" Keiko murmured faintly from the back, and I managed to peer at her via the rear-view mirror.
She looked like death warmed over…Hell everyone did. Keiko's hair stood on end, her eyes wide and unfocussed, her body trembling from panic. Next to her, Yusuke didn't look much better; his usually gelled back hair had broken free from its chemical prison to shield his eyes from view, and his face was covered in sweat.
Shizuru had long since passed out. No I lie. She'd been knocked out when we had flown over a patch of unusual rocky terrain, and there was a large bruise forming around her left eye. Whoops…She was surely going to put me over her knee for this.
A soft whimper from way in the back drew my attention, and I shifted in my seat to get a better look, my eyebrow raising sharply at the sight before me.
Kurama sat there in the trunk, with his legs drawn to his chest and he was staring unblinkingly out the window. His hair had literally gone white- Whether that was my doing or his natural instinct to let Yoko out when he was in trouble, I couldn't make out.
"…Lydia…Please stop…" Kurama mouthed, his voice barely above a whisper. "…You must be more careful…Lydia…"
"Holy shit, you broke Kurama!"
Kuwabara leaned over his own seat, passing a hand in front of the terrified teenager's face. When he received no response, he twitched.
"OLD MAN! GET OUT OF THE WAY! OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"
I shrieked and popped the driver door open, launching myself out of the car and onto the grass. Shizuru jerked awake, and was twitching like a rabbit on crack, Yusuke had managed to drag a shuddering Keiko out of the other side, and Kuwabara tried his best to calm Kurama down.
After thirty long minutes of trying to compose ourselves; with me struggling to pull my jeans up due to a severe spanking I had just received from a newly awakened Shizuru, we slowly ascended the million or so stairs that led to Genkai's mountain retreat.
"Hey…Kurama? How're you holding up there buddy?"
I'd lagged behind specifically to hang around the poor redhead. He looked a lot better now; his hair had gone red again, and his face had regained some of its healthy colour, but he was glaring daggers at me. Uh-Oh…
"I've lost my dignity, and my lunch…How do you think I feel?" he replied, tone cold.
"Aw c'mon! It's a normal reaction…I'm pretty sure Hiei would've done the same thing if he were in your shoes," I offered, patting his arm in a consoling manner.
He snarled at me, and sped up the last few steps, leaving me in a cloud of dust.
"Well that went well…" I muttered, pouting some. "I wonder how long it'll take him to forgive me this time."
Thrusting my hands into my pockets, I followed at a leisurely pace, knowing full well that I was in the doghouse with the lot of them, despite Keiko pleading on my behalf. Yes, my car was a menace to society…But I had offered them all a ride, with the full knowledge that they could all have been killed.
To be honest, the trip had started out alright. Everything worked, including the radio! I thought we'd get through it without a problem. When we reached Hangman's Drop, I retracted my earlier thought. Now you can probably guess what type of a road Hangman's Drop was…It was a bloody thirty foot hill that went down for miles and consequently, was the last stretch before we reached our destination. I slowly ascended from the other side, pausing right at the edge to check that everything was in working order. Once I was satisfied, and Shizuru had validated it…I was given the go ahead to descend the 'Drop'.
Halfway down, Kuwabara had looked out of the window, stating that it seemed we were getting faster, and had asked me to slow down a bit. Nodding, I had pressed my foot lightly against the break pedal. Nothing happened. Keiko was the second to tell me to cool down my road rage…So I floored the breaks this time. Still, we continued on at a breakneck speed. It was only then that I had realised.
The breaks had given out.
Really, we were lucky that we'd gotten out of it unscathed! Once we had reached the flat land, and our voices were hoarse from hysterical screaming, the breaks had magically come to life, and the car had come to shuddering halt a few hundred feet from the stairs that led to Genkai's temple.
"Lydia, move your ass! We have people for you to meet!"
Genkai's rough voice called to me from where she stood on the porch, her hands clasped tightly behind her back and her frizzy pink hair dancing in the breeze.
"Yeah, yeah! I'm coming!" I yelled back, quickening my pace.
Well…Hopefully the meeting would go as planned; I didn't want a repeat of the 'Kurama is a woman' fiasco of three years ago. Sigh.
Spirit: Haha...I was watching Azumanga Daioh when I came up with this chapter xD Love it? Hate it? Lemme know! Lol...Well thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and y'all know the drill. Constructive criticism is welcomed, and so are complimentary reviews!
