Fall out
Rachel walked back into the room, expecting it to be empty. Everyone usually dispersed after Glee practice, and with today having been as rough as it was…well she expected them to have all run for the hills. She needed the alone time to regroup though. Sitting at the piano and singing her heart out may have been a bit dramatic but it would make her feel better. She had talked herself out of going after Finn. He didn't need her swooping in right then. He had too much to deal with as it was, and she had been the bearer of the worst news of his life.
That thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes. What had she been thinking? That Finn would just fall into her arms? Out of gratitude? Rachel Berry had never felt lower then that moment. Things were so complicated. She had hurt Finn, which she felt bad about. She even felt bad about hurting Quinn, and had never in a million years expected her to be rational about the whole thing. Then there was Puck. The boy she had known her whole life. Her best friend until her freshman year. Until her first slushie facial.
She had been in love with Puck growing up. He had been everything she needed. After his transformation into the uber jerk he was now that was when things had changed for good. She had begun pushing herself then. Filling her empty heart with something that could make her forget. She was going to be a star. That's what mattered. With as driven and dedicated as she had been, how had she managed to get caught up in this mess?
She was still shaking her head when she walked into the music room, only to find herself face to face with every member of the Glee Club. She stopped dead in her tracks, frozen like a deer. For a moment her star façade crumbled, and she had nothing to say. She had just blown their chances at sectionals. She had destroyed a relationship and several of her only friendships. The club was bound to be angry at her, probably furious. She had to face them, and what could she possibly say?
No one was used to seeing her that vulnerable, wide eyes with a few tears actually running down her cheeks. She had never cried. Not after the millions of slushies, not when Mr Schue gave away her solos. Not after Finn had kissed her and ditched her in the auditorium, or after she had broken up with Puck because he loved Quinn. Rachel was made of stone, or at least very durable plastic. She had never fallen apart until then.
Everyone didn't really know what to say. They had followed Mercedes blindly into a confrontation and now they all just felt bad. It was easy to forget that Rachel was human. She was bossy. And annoying. And constantly making everyone want to set her on fire, or themselves when she didn't shut up long enough to. Somewhere along the way she had also become their leader, and human, but that's the part they tended to forget.
Brittany was the first to step forward. She took a deep breathe put an arm on Rachel's shoulder. "It's been a long day. Are you alright?" It was simple, like Brittany, but filled with true emotion.
Rachel shook her head sadly. She was grateful for the blonde girl. It showed that maybe they weren't out to get her, even after the damage she had caused.
"I messed up. Ok? Is that enough for all of you?" She began, still crying. She couldn't meet their eyes, but just stared at the ground. "I did the right thing for once. It was selfish, but sometimes…most of the time I am. My intentions were true. I did it because this group wasn't going to survive this lie. Sure maybe we would make it through sectionals, but for what? To just fall apart? In the mean time we were lying to someone who's supposed to be our friend. If this group believes in that, then we shouldn't be competing. We shouldn't get up as a united group, when all we do is hurt each other. So I am sorry for telling the truth. I ruined our chance, and believe me I cared very much about winning. Sometimes you have to care about something else though. I'm learning that. You guys can be mad at me. You can treat me like a diva or whatever. Sometimes you just have to take it."
By the time Rachel finished the she wasn't crying anymore. She had swiped away the remaining tears with a passion they all knew. Her voice grew stronger, and wobbled less and less. She had stopped glaring at the floor and had turned her gaze to each of them. She was a leader, and strong. She had faced much worse, and they would not bring her down.
At the end they were all staring at her with respect. She was right, and they were all battling their own set of guilt. They couldn't blame her for doing the right thing.
"Chill out princess. We are going to be fine." Mercedes voice rang through the group, speaking for everyone.
Rachel almost began crying again as relief washed through her. It was relief that Mercedes wasn't going to beat her to a pulp, relief that the team was smiling at her like she was one of their own, and relief that someone had finally said it. They were going to be fine. Rachel could hope at least, as long as they were hoping with her.
Chaos broke out as they all began discussing their impending doom at sectionals the next morning, but it was with a new humor. If they were going to go down, it would be together. As a team. And as Mercedes put it, "they sure as hell weren't going down with out a fight."
