Author's Note: Hey guys! I love you all so fucking much for reading this like really. I don't think you understand how much I appreciate it. But last chapter, I forgot to say a couple things...
One, I'm not sure if my character–portraying is OOC or not, but please don't mind it too much if it is. (Natsu's a little, but it's told from his super deep thoughts so yea. Plus Lucy has a good reason why she's acting so weird.)
Two, excuse me for grammar mistakes. I am sorta grammar freak so yea. It bothers me.
Three, the time setting in this story compared to the actual series is after The Grand Magic Games.
Four, do you even read this?
Five, I completely forgot the disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FAIRY TAIL. I OWN NOTHING AT ALL, I SWEAR.
Chapter 2: Lucy Was Weird
Natsu Dragneel cringed at the faint memory. He felt twists under his skin, and he wanted to cry. Really hard.
His breath quickened heavy, teeth holding his bottom lip back. He refused to break out in tears in the middle of the guild. That was too girly, junior high girl girly.
He stood up from his place and quietly make his way to the guild's entrance. Some people tilted their heads in curiosity while others made notice of him but continued with whatever they were doing. In anyway, the entire guild knew of Natsu's dilemmas.
Just Natsu was the one who didn't. Well, at least who wasn't sure of his entire standings.
As soon as he left the guild's grounds, he headed to the old Sola Tree, his favorite tree.
When he arrived he slumped at the tree's base. It was late in the afternoon, a vivid pink laid itself in the sky. Like my motherfucking junior high girl girly hair, he remarked in his head. No one was in sight nor around to witness a pink haired boy bawling his eyes out.
Natsu, himself, couldn't believe it either.
Then again, he couldn't blame himself for tearing up with a mental breakdown sourcing to the third days (including today) worth of crap he'd gotten. It might have sounded childish to some people but...
He found his way back into his video slots of memories; dating back two days ago after he, Happy, and Lucy arrived back in Magnolia.
After his and Lucy's chat, the rest of the trip back was uneventful and dead silent. Happy was sound asleep. Lucy who was still deep in thought. Then there was Natsu who just sat there literally still in shock, struggling to down his new-found instructions from Lucy Heartfilia.
It was just plain fucking awkward.
When the train reached Magnolia, he wanted to barf, yes barf. He wasn't sure why but assumed it was maybe his motion sickness coming up late? He was completely wrong. So so wrong.
In reaction, he ran out of the train (through the nearest window) and chucked out probably all his organs including his poor heart.
He felt a warm hand stroking his arm. He roughly gagged even more. He knew it was Lucy but with her "not seeing each other" speech made him... Sad? Yea, but it wasn't the right word for it.
It was like waiting for your friend to come pick you up from your house for an awesome new lacrimal movie that was showing, and you're really excited for it. However, it turns out your friend went by themselves instead because of reasons unknown to you. Though your friend did have the decency to call you up right before the movie started to tell you they wouldn't come to pick you up. Then there you are listening to the news devastated and disappointed on the phone. You waited all that time just for your friend to let you down.
He gagged as his throw–up increased, burning his throat. Just before he let the geyser flow when he broke the train's glass window, he had found himself a nice big barrel for him to ya know.
The hand on his elbow softly brushed his skin. Twists and knots under his skin. His eyes were sore and his tongue was tasting crap. He coughed before the last of the barf escaped form the ruins of his mouth.
His insides burned like the undergrounds of Hell.
He weakly glanced over to his barf barrel to find the gross kicked–out liquids in his stomach were black. Like they looked burned then covered with his spit almost like ashes?
What?
He frowned in disgust and chucked the barrel a long–ways–away. Bye bye, you shitty half–assed barrel and vaguely remind me of Gray Fuckbutter... Damn ice princess.
Natsu then turned to face the familiar face of Lucy Heartfilia. He quickly wiped his mouth from all the extra slob and managed to pull up the sides of his cheeks, "No need to worry, Luce, I'm fine.~"
...That was so fake.
Lucy raised a brow, she obviously didn't get to see the contents of the barrel which slightly relieved him. He wanted to heard her say, "Natsu, you don't have to lie to me. Are you okay?"
Reality hit him shit hard as words dropped from Lucy's lips, "Alright. But you should head straight home."
What? Why was Lucy being so cold? She was usually concerned and worried for him at times like this. He meant she was, but it was a little different. It wasn't the weird he was used to from Lucy. It wasn't the same weirdness. Lucy was weird, but it wasn't Lucy's actual, real weirdness. It was just different, and he had no idea how to explain it. Lucy's still being weird, but it's not the same type of weird he... liked.
He meant liked as in how Erza liked strawberry shortcake. No, that was a little too much. Like comrade–like, partnership, yea, that was it. It was like that.
Couldn't be anything more.
Lucy's expression was blank, but it almost looked as if she didn't get that much sleep. Exhaustion was the word. Lucy was tired, probably from the work they had done... or his dilemmas.
Couldn't be his dilemmas.
"Natsu?" he glanced at the train and saw Happy poking his head from the window he had damaged, "Are you okay?"
He wanted to scream out to the world that he wasn't okay even if in front of Lucy and Happy. He fucking wanted to take his stress out on something like a tree or a forest. No, he wasn't okay. No, no, no, NO!
"Uh–huh."
That couldn't be a lie.
He flashed a grin to the exceed; he tried his best not to frown. Then he raised an arm and flexed it to show his recovery, "See? I'm always ready for a fight!"
He tried his best to sound happy to Happy.
"Aye, sir!" Happy jumped up happily in response and a little too naïve to see the scowl in his charcoal eyes. At least he didn't have to worry about a depressed Happy.
Afterwards, Lucy had to apologize for the broken window he made and the slight panic he caused to the train people. He ended up having to hand over some of his reward money, but it was no biggie. He was used to paying for his destructions (although Gramps often or not paid for them more than he did).
It was late evening (Team Natsu had left for the mission earlier in the morning). Lucy said she was heading back to the guild to tell them they're back, and Happy decided to tag along probably to see Carla. Even though Lucy said he should go home right away, he planned to drop by the guild hall later on, but right now he wanted some time by himself. Alone.
The pink haired boy wasn't sure where to exactly go so he ended up just wandering Magnolia. During his time walking down the streets with lacrimal streetlights starting to light up and a dimming pinkish sky over his head, he remembered a certain memory as a child.
Natsu back in present time started to hum with the memory. It was a song that one day Igneel had taught him. By this point, tears began to glaze his once dried out eyes again.
And at some point, he stopped humming and began to lightly sing the song to himself.
Some search for a dragon to slay
'Cause they think it leads to their princess
To death drops and soldiers run away
But they act like some damsel in distress
He started to clap as he sang the next lines.
Scales are a dragon's heart
Roars are a dragon's soul
I'll find my princess' kick start
So I can fend off the princes for your parole
Igneel had taught this song to him when they were training together. They clapped their hands and stomped their feet together. It was a sweet memory with them laughing and smiling. It was almost like somebody covered it in glass and put a frame on it. He couldn't help but miss those times.
He almost wished he was a child again.
Then he reviewed the last events of his life; motion sickness equaled gone, Dragon Slayer Magic equaled gone, Lucy Heartfilia equaled gone. They had all slipped from his fingers like Igneel who equaled gone. But, he still held a chance to find them again... Right?
He couldn't be right.
He sang the last four lines almost in a whisper.
Please don't be afraid; just sing
I'll take you under my dragon's wing
We are the terrors of your knights
So I want you, for freedom, to fight
He never fully understood the song. Maybe he could ask Luce…
Nevermind.
Natsu wiped the back of his hand to his eyes and sighed. Stop thinking so much. It's kinda silly like Lu–…
Nevermind.
He should just quit thinking all together.
Natsu two days ago probably ran around singing that song for about uh.. maybe an hour? Then, he decided to head back to the guild. Boy was that a bad, bad decision.
I make fucking bad decisions everyday, present Natsu sassed himself.
Lucy could help me…
Fuck you too.
When Natsu Dragneel entered the guild, it was normal, if you counted tons of yelling and Cana drinking alcohol in barrels, normal. The only people he couldn't find were Lu–...a certain blond, Queen Icicle, and Erza.
"Natsu!" he looked over his shoulder to see Wendy coming from his left.
"Wendy," he grinned which was actually sincere this time, and then he was lightly tackled by the little Dragon Slayer into a hug.
Wendy pulled away from the embrace and smiled, "Romeo was trying to find you this morning. Where were you?"
"Ah," he thought for a moment, completely blanking out the events of that morning, "Gee, I–..."
He suddenly remembered his troublesome dilemmas.
"I went on a mission with Happy and L–" he struggled to say the last word, "...u–ce–ce.."
She tilted her head in confusion, not understanding his mumbles, "And who?"
He eyed the floor, a little embarrassed, "Loh–mumum."
"Natsu, that was even worse. Who did you say?" the girl tried to politely pry it out of him, staring at him sideways.
"Lah–cue–ee."
"Natsu, who's a cutie? Please try to speak properly," Wendy begged leaning forward, trying to get his attention. He refused to met her eye and continued to pronounce whatever name he was attempting to say incorrectly.
"Loci."
"Loki? Well, that's quite rare. I didn't know you went on missions with Loki."
"N–no, Lah–nee."
"Lali? That sounds like a ship name. Wait, gimme a minute, I can probably figure it out by then."
"Uh–uh, Loh–ce."
"I know! You ship Laxus and Lisanna! That's kinda an odd ship, but I guess they do look good together."
"IT'S LUCY, DAMMIT!"
Wendy watched him wide-eyed, not expecting him to shout out so suddenly. Well, nor did the rest of the member who turned all their heads in curiosity to see where the commotion was erupting from. On the second floor, you could see the heads of Gray, Luh–cumum, Erza, and Gramps peering down on the first floor. Guess I found those guys.
"A–ah..." the pink haired boy awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, immediately calming down, "H–hey guys. I didn't say "it's Lucy, dammit" or anything... hehe.."
H–here comes the awkward silence.
The entire guild spent like five minutes staring at him with rushing thoughts in their imaginative heads. Probably everyone, but himself and Wendy, were jumping to extreme conclusions and misunderstanding completely. Well shit.
Surprisingly, Gajeel was the first one to break the ice (No Gray jokes here), "Woah, fire-breath actually took it to the next level with bunny girl. Holy shit. Holy motherfucking shit."
After that, the entire guild exploded in celebration.
Elfman was yelling something like "I feel the man in the air! Dating is so very MAN!" Then, he was prancing around and took out a bandanna that said in big white letters "Nalu Forever" while wrapping it around his head. For some reason, mostly everyone else in the guild had some sort of article of clothing revealed that said the same two words.
"Na-nalu Forever?" he unusually asked Wendy nervously, meeting her eye, but then suddenly roared at the guild members partying, "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN!?"
Mira (who seemed to be one of the ones who were heavy clothed in Nalu attire) was carrying a tray of assorted drinks and sweetly smiled at him, "Hehe, it's yours and Lucy's ship name; Nalu. It's great you two are finally official."
Then she giggled covering her mouth with her free hand, keeping the unwashable smirk on her face, "I didn't even have to.. Oh, it's nothing, but I'm so happy that you're really canon!"
Mira probably shined the brightest upside-down scowl he'd ever seen in his entire life…
"WHAT!? NO WAY! ME AND LU–" a hand slapped over his mouth before he could say anything else.
"Hehe. I know you're excited Natsu–chan, but let's not say anything we might regret, shall we?"
...The look Mira was giving him was scaring the fuck out of him.
Like he thought he was going to actually piss in his pants, and he could've sworn he saw his life pass right before his eyes. Mira and her demonic eyeballs. The creepy aura around her. Her hands felt like a demon's claws ripping his skin face off.
Present Natsu sensed shivers coursing through his spine, and boy they weren't pleasant. Even the memories of scary Mira equally matched Erza's monster trip and..
They were all so nightmare–ishly scary and horrifying.
And there were fucking three of them.
More cold rushes climbed up on his skin. Sometimes, he wished there was an erase button on his memory slot. Too bad he was forced into traumatization with the memories drilled into his skull.
"DAMMIT YOU ALL!" he heard himself shout while he subconsciously stood up from his little seat and punched the Sola tree (at least he was conscious enough to not activate his magic).
Past Natsu quickly nodded in complete horror and terror. Sweat beads dappled his forehead as Mira gave him an eyeing glare that made him nod even quicker.
"Ah, that's nice, Natsu. Well, I hope you have a nice rest of the day!~" the white–haired mage released her grip on him (and her petrifying, devilish vibes) then waved him off with a gleeful beam. He had forgotten how truly intimidating Mirajane Strauss the She–Devil was.
Wendy glanced at him nervously then suddenly bowed in guilt, "I'm sorry, Natsu! I didn't mean for this misunderstanding to happen!"
"Nah, it's fine, Wendy," he ruffled her hair and curved his lips. Wendy naturally made him happy. Maybe it was because of her little sister–like air after the Nirvana incident, he felt like he was her caretaker even though she was capable of fending for herself. Dragon Slayers should stick together.
Then, he strolled away from Wendy into Gajeel's direction. He was onstage singing his "music" at the moment about "his and Lucy's after wedding" or whatever. He started to have fuzzy hearing and couldn't focus on it.
His pace tapped a little harder as stupid bolt brain got closer and closer in his little pixie white suit. Before he took another step, readying for a sprint to punch pierce–dump, a body slid in his path.
"Natsu!"
The voice belonged to non–other than a short white–haired and blue, blue eyed Take–Over Mage; Lisanna.
Her hands were on her hips and unlike everyone else, no Nalu clash of fashion were visible on her. Her hair was significantly messier, but he had no means of pointing it out to her after his encounter with Mira. Lisanna's bright blue eyes, one of the signatures of a Strauss, gleamed a weird emotion with scrunched–up eyebrows above.
"Oh hey, Lisanna," he pulled off a little upward tilt on his lips.
She stiffly shifted and constantly struggled to avoid direct eye contact, "So, you and Lucy? I guess I saw it happening.. Ha..haha…"
The girl who he viewed as a childhood companion weakly expressed joy.
He knew it was fake from the moment it caught his eye. On the inside, Lisanna was drowning in tears, and on the outside she pursuited to keep herself together with every piece in place...too bad Lisanna was a terrible liar.
He knitted his own eyebrows, concerned for the sad Strauss and searched into her eyes thoroughly, "Lisanna, are you… fine?"
"Yea! Of course I am...haha," she waved her hands in front of herself and shot for a giggle. It sounded more like a weep for help.
He deeply frowned.
"S-so," she broke from his gaze then went from looking at him and the wall, "You lo–love Lucy?"
When he was about to answer her, he experienced a strange tingle into his back. It felt like a razor–sharp knife digging into his skin. It took a second of thought to realize it was the She–Devil, Mirajane. He gulped tensely, she was glaring into his backside with those demonic–crazed glare. The same one she used on him minutes ago to manipulate him. And she wasn't going to let her Nalu ship dream crash so quickly even if her sister was going down with it.
Natsu swallowed uncomfortably, "I.." He turned from head from left to right uncoordinatedly and leaned close to the ear of the young girl who was shyly excepting or not excepting his answer,
"I love Lucy."
That was how it should've come out anyways.
"Mira's watching us. Let's take this outside."
Lisanna's eye zoomed at him in surprise. She gasped at him for half a second before surveying behind him to see her older sister and then immediately nodding.
The two quietly navigated through the bunches of party–ers and party–ees.
On arriving outside the castle–like guild hall, Lisanna sweated as she waited for Natsu's next line of dialogue.
"Lisanna," he began staring at the suddenly very pretty wizard patiently awaiting him. He swallowed roughly as he tried to find the correct words to present her, "I have something to tell you."
"Lisanna!" his ten–year old self cried at his friend, "I don't wanna play house! I have to find Igneel right away!"
"But Natsu!~" a younger version of Lisanna whined, tugging his arm which prevented him from taking off, "Gildarts says you have to play with me until he gets back with Mira and Elfman!"
"So what!" he snapped at her turning his shoes to her, impatient with her complaints, "Igneel is out there and I can't waste a day to search for him!"
"What if he's in trouble? What if he's injured? He needs my help now! This can't wait! Igneel's in danger and I'm gonna find him!" he ripped her arm from himself and started to walk away from her.
"I can't play with you, Lisanna. My father's on his deathbed!" he screamed furiously while turning back to face her once more.
Lisanna was on the verge of tears. Her blue eyeballs pecked with droplets of water and her hand ready to shield her face from spilling them. Except he was already too late.
"Li–lisanna!" he whipped himself all the way around and ran back towards his crying companion.
She covered her face and cried through her fingers, "Na–natsu, I, hic, didn't mean to stop you from, hic, fi–finding your dad. Waaaa!"
He wanted to break out bawling himself because he had made from fellow comrade cry. His worry showed through his eyebrows pressing together. It was his fault he made Lisanna cry because he had gotten a bit violent and overdramatic to her, and this was the result.
"I'm sorry, Lisanna," he mumbled softly, scared of making her hate him, "I didn't mean to make you cry. If you want I can stay here and play hopscotch with you."
"N–no, it's okay. I shouldn't have forced you to stay with me. And I wanted to play house, Natsu," she raised her head with the few tears left in her eyes and smiled fragilely, "I guess I just was afraid you'd leave me forever since last time you left; you spent three weeks out of the guild."
"I'm really sorry. I promise I won't ever left like that again," young Natsu spoke lowly in disappointment in himself, turning his attention to his shoes.
"Haha!" Lisanna smiled with the sun and hugged him which in turn shocked him, "It's okay, Natsu, you don't have to worry anymore because you said you'll stay forever! We're family here in Fairy Tail, remember?"
He laughed with her, thankful that she didn't hate him, "Y–yea! Comrades look out for each other!"
He wrapped an arm around her arms that were around his neck, "I won't ever leave you again, Lisanna."
He swore to keep oath to his promise to her.
Yet little did ten–year old Natsu know that his promise would be broke in the future, not by him, but by his beloved Lisanna Strauss would leave him, thinking she was dead for two long years, in five years.
Present Natsu returned to setting his back against his tree in a daze; eyes glassy in a far far away sparkle. Too many memories sparked his train of thought to even get a full sentence out.
"Lisanna," he murmured, remembering her leaving him and then suddenly coming back, "That was really mean of you."
He retraced his footsteps from the past two days.
Natsu two–days ago observed as she stumbled over her words, "Wh–wha?"
He was looking seriously into the Strauss' eye, "You died two years ago and left me, left your brother and sister, and most of all; Fairy Tail.
"When we were younger, I remember we made a pact to never leave each other, Fairy Tail, ever.
"After you came back, I forgot about it for awhile. I mean, it was burned in my head that you broke the promise when you left.
"But now I think about it; the more I don't feel right about it.
"Lisanna..." he said her name his a whisper as he attempted to explain to her his unorganized and jumbled up thoughts.
"I don't know how you feel, but I don't feel a thing. I heard the gossip buzzing hot inside the guild that I'm dense or I'm just a simple–minded idiot.
"Truth is, I might be, but I don't think so. Lisanna, I'm numb. I admire and respect my comrades, but this whole love thing to me is just a block of ice. I don't get why it's there or how to get around it, and, when I touch it; it's cold, icy, unfamiliar, and just weird. It makes my fingers go numb and I don't know how to clash with it.
"Should I break it? Should I leave it be? Should I melt it with my flames? Or should I call up that ice–block himself, Gray, to tell me what to exactly do? I don't know!?" he concluded and ruffled his hair in a mess with the two of his fists.
The four lettered word confused Natsu Dragneel all the way. There he stood at Lisanna's will, begging her to assist him with his dilemmas. He would've asked his favorite Celestial Wizard, but it was out of the question for now.
"Na...tsu," Lisanna let go of the breath that she had held in so long, almost in disappointment, "How should I know your feelings if you don't understand them yourself?"
"B-but," she paused for a mere moment and took a deep breath to prepare herself for something, "How do feel about..um, me?"
"You are Lisanna."
The answer was straight and simple so it naturally came out of his mouth as a first, immediate answer.
She frowned, "How do you feel about Lucy?"
"She's..." he glanced over his shoulder, not wanting to stare straight at Lisanna's soul, reluctant to talk about his partner when he was trying his best to not directly mention her name, "special, uh... I meant, weird."
Lisanna's stare dropped as her mouth gaped open from what he could see from his sideways view, "O–okay."
Their conversation was finished.
He was first to twist his feet, oddly, back into the guild, and he didn't bother to look back at the teary eyed Lisanna Strauss. He rewrote in his mind that she wasn't behind him, and that she wasn't crying. It was no longer his duty to look after her.
On his re–entrance into the building, he saw Juvia (another one heavy clothed in the armor of a Nalu shipper) lit up when she caught him reappearing at the party.
"Natsu–san!" she raced over to him and chipped warmly.
Then she proceeded to grasp his hand into hers, moving them up and down quickly, and sparks shot off her cloudy blue eyes, "Juvia thanks you for taking her love rival! But, secretly Juvia likes the idea of you and Lucy-san together. She also thinks you two are perfect! Almost like her and Gray-sama!"
The hearts in her eyes were undeniable, and Juvia was one person who he thought who had an understanding of love. He had thought she was a little of the odd side when he first met her, but now he saw her as a comrade and had to be with uh…no, it's nothing. Nothing at all..
"Uh yea, Juvia," he turned his head away from her, unsure of what to say to the Water Mage.
"Juvia wants to ask Natsu–san why he isn't with Lucy–san's side? She didn't see you come in when Lucy–san reported back in," Juvia cocked her head while releasing his hands from hers.
"Juvia! Uh… why aren't you with dumb–… Gray, yea, why aren't you with Gray?" he rushed to change the subject. He refused to talk about that somebody. He wasn't on speaking terms with her so why should he talk about her in another person's conversation with him?
"Gray–sama was pulled out to have a chat with Master. Oh, now that Juvia thinks about it; Lucy–san and Erza–san were pulled out too," she spoke her thoughts aloud, right hand on her cheek and the other tugging at her Nalu bracelet.
"A talk?" Natsu raised a brow, curious about the scenario.
She looked to her left for a moment then answered him, "Yes, Juvia thinks it concerns about… maybe a book? She is very vague on details."
"A book?" he questioned a bit aggressively, probably because why would snowcone, a blond, and Erza get a ramble from Gramps about a dumb book? Surely, he could ask Levy or Freed. Ok, maybe the blond in the group too, but… wasn't it odd?
A spark electrified the depths of his brain. Lucy had said that she needed to discuss with Gramps about him going on missions and his magic.
His magic was decreasing in its former strength, and it was strange.
"Natsu–san?" Juvia's voice buzzed in his ear as he started to stray away from her.
"You better go see Gray."
He needed to get answers to the questions floating around him.
Present Natsu sucked up a deep breath and then released it back into the fuming air circling him. A hand ran into his hair and began to absently comb it. The scaly scarf around his neck comforted him alone.
A lone word sang himself to sleep and pure dread; Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy~
He wanted to see his Lucy so badly.
Author Note's: Sorry if this is deep, but I wanna get into the pure core of what makes Natsu Dragneel tick. So here's the deep, ocean–deep depth his mind can get into. Super deep.
But there's something I wanna talk about and it's the Japanese honorifics. Okay, so I really didn't want to use these 'cause I want to stray from sounding too unprofessional, but some of the characters require to use the honorifics. In result, I've made a compromise; I'll only use honorifics if it is really necessary but most of the time I won't. This includes Juvia's character and one of Mira's lines in this. However, if you have noticed, I didn't let Wendy add a honorific to Natsu's name because I didn't find it too important or Lisanna call her siblings like she normally does (I actually got lazy on Lisanna but whatever). Yea, I just wanted to clear that up.
Now here I want to REALLY SUPER THANK YOU CUPCAKES FOR REVIEWING/FAVORITING/FOLLOWING THIS STORY. Ohmygoshh, I love you all so much. You all are absolutely beautiful~
'Kay last thing; next chapter should be due by next Friday or the day after that. My schedule for this story is every week on Fridays or Saturdays (I'll try my best to keep it this way) Yay! I love you all~33
P.S. You can tell I had fun with this chapter.
