Ranger Parsec landed his ship without incident (if he had to describe it that way), and escorted the Alliance's newest ambassador back into his own building. Oh, stars was he glad that was over. These people treated pranks and jokes like they were the best things ever invented by sentient beings. He wondered how long it would take for that stuff the Ambassador stuck in his shampoo to wash out. His hair was rock-solid and smelled like old onions. And that was just the beginning of the craziness he'd had to deal with! How someone could switch from professional diplomat to frat boy in a matter of hours was beyond him.
Some other Lahilans tried to make small talk with him, but he just wanted to go home. So he lied a little bit, saying he had to get back right away to give his report. This was technically true, but what he really wanted was to put the ship on autopilot and get some sleep! Hopefully he wouldn't have to dodge any Volturans again.
Just as Ty entered the ship, somebody yelled. He turned around. A young Lahilan man was running up with an urgent expression on his not-quite-bearded face. The man stopped to catch his breath.
"Heya we almost forgot, nobody I don't think did tell you 'bout the Apocritan mines in the asteroid belt, yah..?" the grey humanoid asked, green patches glowing.
Ty puzzled over that mess of a sentence; exhaustion and bad grammar had teamed up on him. When he figured it out he answered. "No, actually. There are mines in the belt?"
"Yeah man from Apocrita. Don't you go hitting on them, because you know they really mess up a ship, let me tell ya, they follow you and bust a hole right through the hull and then your ship you gotta land it, where's the closest place, man? It's Apocrita, yah? Don't do it! They eat people, man, no joke," the man rambled. Ty nodded. This guy wears a foil hat, I guarantee it.
"Thanks for the advice, Mr...?"
"Imek, sir, Imek Kemi..." the patches flared brightly, looking a bit more teal than before.
"Right. I will be sure to include your advice in my report," Ty guessed that the kid was as bad at sarcasm as he was at sentence construction. Apparently he was right, since the guy left happily. Locals and their pranks...
Finally, Ty Parsec was able to leave. He punched in the coordinates for Star Command. He made sure to make a route around the asteroid belt- even without any of these supposed "Apocritan mines", asteroid belts were best avoided. He set up the autopilot, and had Sentry Nine man the controls so he could get his eight hours. Maybe ten, given the way most of the trip had gone. Well, maybe it wasn't all bad. That (hilariously bad) Jo-Adian horror film the Ambassador gave him was worth another watch, if nothing else came up...
Of course, when people really, really want to sleep, their bodies naturally do otherwise. Ty woke up and looked at the clock. "It's only been six hours?" he wondered aloud. True, he was feeling somewhat refreshed, but in need of a shower and probably just a little more sleep. Talnak was a night-owl, which proved disastrous for Ty's sanity. Ty sniffed the contents of his tiny conditioner bottle, and threw out all the bath supplies, deciding a boiling hot shower would have to suffice until he got back to Star Command. The stuff in his hair dissolved, which was fine. The rotten onion smell got progressively worse, and by the time his hair was softened to something resembling normal, Ty was forced to flee the shower, gagging and holding back bile. Which was most definitely not fine...
"Craters! It's the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it?" he yelled. He dried off with a towel, grumbling about stupid pranks and professionalism. "So now I need to do this again, just to stop stinking up the ship!" he snarled, throwing his arms up in exasperation. The sentry bots looked at one another, but said nothing (well, nothing an organic could hear). Neither were equipped with olfactory sensors, so Ty's distress seemed a little silly. They could detect the harmless chemicals coming off him. One was a mammal-friendly insecticide. Perhaps the Ambassador had lice? Or meant to suggest that Ty did? The pair conversed 'silently' about the bizarre mannerisms of the Ambassador and Lahilans in general. Something beeped in the controls.
"Could you guys check that, please? I'm getting my suit back on," Ty asked. He was actually fully dressed except for his chest armor, and was toweling his hair. It was no longer rock-solid; more like soft clay. Well, at least it was coming out. Small miracles and all that jazz. He'd have to suffer though a few more showers if he wanted to avoid shaving his head, because there was no way it was all coming off at once.
"Yes, sir," one of the robots answered. Then, sounding concerned, "Sir, something's following us. It looks like a satellite of some sort?"
"Is it sending out any signals or anything?" Ty stepped into the main bridge and sat down in the captain's seat. Blast, that was a speedy little whatever-it-was. The sentry to his right said no. "It's just tailing us, sir."
Ranger Parsec glared at his monitor. "Actually, I think it's getting closer," he pushed a button before continuing in a stern voice. "This is Ranger Ty Parsec of Star Command. I repeat, Ranger Ty Parsec of Star Command. Do you read me?"
There was no answer. Ty repeated himself, waited, and then a third time with a command to stop shadowing the ship. Still no response.
"If you don't stop following, I will be forced to assume you are hostile," he warned, "and I will be forced to defend myself." Nothing. This is getting weird... He hailed the unidentified object, warned it again, and when it still didn't respond, he opened fire. The satellite exploded behind him, and they continued on their way.
Looking forward, Ty could see a massive blue and green planet with three moons to his right. Said planet and moons, according to the sensors, were surrounded by some kind of satellite security system. It wasn't Lahila. Lahila looked green and brown, and was maybe two thirds the size of this world. And it lacked a satellite security system.
"Sir, we are receiving a pre-recorded signal from the surrounding satellites," said Sentry Ten.
"Play it," Ty ordered, after a few moments. Somehow, he felt something was going to go horribly wrong.
Sometimes Ty hated being right. A loud, droning screech sound blared over the communication system. Images flickered across the monitors- gigantic trees and florid grasslands burning, what looked like bugs covered in goo, and then an unnecessarily long series of pictures of mangled people. Most of them were Lahilan, but there were a few other species that Ty recognized. He hit buttons, going through all the stop commands and sequences he could remember. The sentry bots were silent. Nothing was working! It wouldn't shut off! The last image (another Lahilan, or at least most of the unfortunate man's body) lingered for about ten seconds. The entire message was a full minute of audiovisual hell. Then the ship became dark and silent, as all his input commands decided that this was the perfect moment to go through and overload the computer. His ears rang out in protest, and his heart raged against his ribcage. The foul onion smell helpfully informed him that he'd begun sweating.
"What in the Hell was that?!" he shouted once the ringing in his ears subsided a little, "And why didn't anyone help shut it off?" No answer. The robots were offline. There must have been a hidden overload signal in the message, he realized. Ty growled, and got busy getting the ship (and the robots) back online. It took forever to get the ship running, and its sensors told him that he'd drifted off course during the message and subsequent blackout. Once the Sentry Nine was awake (it took longer than expected), Ty had him monitor the ship's status while he got Ten working. It occurred to him afterwards that he probably should have fixed the robots first. He'd only opened Sentry Ten's chest panel when Nine alerted him to yet another problem: the ship was being followed by more of the satellite-like objects, larger and faster than the earlier one. Ty frantically ordered the robot to open fire and steer the ship back on course while he got Ten working; they'd need all three to work the controls. Finally the second robot came online, just in time for a satellite that didn't get shot to slam into the side of the ship and explode.
"This is getting ridiculous!" He yelled at nobody in particular.
Even more satellites appeared, and Ty suddenly realized that the scruffy young man wasn't joking about mines, but had definitely gotten their location wrong. Several more darted in, and the hull was breached. The ship's readings did not look good. Another mine took out the escape pods.
"Losing pressure, sir," Sentry Nine droned. He was still getting his functions in order. Ty growled, knowing he didn't have many options. The stats were getting worse, five or six different alarms were going off, his sentries were taking way too long to come online... Oh, and the satellite mines kept coming. Fantastic.
He groaned, rubbing his forehead. Then he sent out an automatic distress signal, and- hating himself every second for it- turned the ship toward what he assumed was Apocrita. Hopefully they didn't really eat people.
A/N:
Thanks for the reviews and advice! I hope Ty is in character.
