Here you have the first chapter. I should have posted it earlier so sorry I didn't. XD

Now you can enjoy. ;)

Disclaimer: Not mine. I'm only using Takanaga-sensei's characters.

Warnings: None. ;) (K or K+ in rating although I suck when it comes to rating...)


Chapter 1

Two months have passed. Two months without Senpai. Morinaga missed him so much. The only way they were in contact was by e-mails and from time to time phone calls, but those calls were so seldom. Furthermore Senpai didn't answer every one of Morinaga's e-mails. Morinaga lived alone again. Senpai's things were still there, but it was as if only Morinaga lived there. He really got used to living with someone. First Senpai and Kanako, then only Senpai. It was hard on him to be alone again. When the three of them were living together, it was as if he had a family again. Or something that's even better than a family.

Morinaga didn't have many good memories from his own family house. When he went to live in this city alone, he thought that it was better than staying home. But even if he thought that, there were times he missed his family. They were the only relatives he had. He didn't want to visit then though. He knew how it would end, how would they treat him. That made sure he didn't visit home at all. It was better for all of them if he stayed away from Fukuoka.

Living with Senpai and Kanako was different. The way they acted was just like a family should. It made him feel at ease. When he lived only with Senpai, although the man didn't let Morinaga touch him, he felt the same way. Still he was left alone for two horrible long months. He wrote to Senpai that he missed him, but he didn't have the courage to say how much.

Not only was the apartment empty, but the lab as well. It was so silent there. He had some help with the research from his friends, but still, that wasn't Senpai with him there. He even missed Senpai's shouting. If the man did, that was a sign he was there. Now there wasn't any shouting to hear.

Morinaga had the feeling that he was left alone as a punishment for what he had done. That wasn't fair. How long can a man wait and restrain himself? He knew he couldn't force Senpai and he also wanted to make Senpai want him, but that was only Morinaga's wish. Senpai was his old self and didn't want Morinaga to touch him. It was even worse than before they did it at the hotel. It was as if they started at the beginning again when Senpai didn't want to do it. Senpai avoided doing 'it' with Morinaga as long as he could, as long as Morinaga could restrain himself. That time he didn't let Morinaga touch him even for a second either.

He didn't know what to think about all that. He had thought about it for two long months. All that time he thought about Senpai about THEM, about everything that was related to them and their whole situation. Now he was even more unsure of Senpai's feelings than he was two months ago. He really didn't know what to do, what to think. He wondered what Senpai did during the last two months. Did he think about them as well? About him? Or did he forget all about him till the time he saw his messages?

At some point Senpai stopped calling. He only sent him an e-mail in which he wrote that he wouldn't be calling again because it was troublesome and costs too much. Morinaga replied that he could pay for the calls, but Senpai didn't agree to it. He wrote that calling was expensive anyway and unless Morinaga won a prize, he wouldn't answer his calls. It was weird but he knew better than to argue with Senpai. The man wouldn't change his mind no matter what. After that, they only contacted each other by e-mail.

Morinaga felt lonely. He hadn't heard Senpai's voice for over a month now. He wanted so badly to hear it, to see Senpai, to be near him again. Finally today Senpai was coming back and Morinaga would be able to see his beloved one again. Morinaga's heart was beating so fast. The plane just landed and it would take some time to get out of it. Senpai would have to wait for his bag, but Morinaga was there, waiting to see that slim figure, long hair and calm expression.

God, how he missed Senpai! He knew he had to restrain himself. All he wanted was to hold the man in his arms and not let him go, ever. But if he did something like that, Senpai would surely get mad at him. Senpai didn't want their relationship to be out in the open. 'Can I really think about us in a relationship even?' Morinaga didn't know. All he knew was that he wasn't able to wait any minute longer. If he waited any longer, he would start to feel pain.

It would be really hard not to take Senpai into his arms right away and not kiss him. It was really bad. He wouldn't be able to stop himself, but he must somehow. If Senpai really meant that he didn't feel safe with him around, then Morinaga must show him that he was worth Senpai's trust. He would behave normally like he always did. He would act as if the time without his most precious person didn't affect him, not as much as it really has. 'I will behave as if we saw each other only few days ago. I'll...'

Morinaga wanted to convince himself that he could hold his feelings at bay, but the moment he saw Senpai he forgot all of what he was thinking. There he was, slowly coming towards Morinaga. He hadn't changed. Maybe his hair was a bit longer, but that was the only difference Morinaga could see. He was so beautiful. Senpai's looks were so mesmerizing to Morinaga. The way his whole body moved while walking. The way he turned his head and looked into one's eyes. All of him was causing Morinaga to want Senpai in every way possible and that feeling was maddening. To feel his body near, even if only for a short moment, that was what Morinaga truly desired. Senpai spotted him and went straight to him. When he was near enough, Morinaga pulled Senpai into his arms, laying his face on the man's shoulder.

"Senpai. I missed you. I missed you so much." He hugged the thin body even tighter not wanting to ever let go, not wanting to let Senpai see his face. So many emotions were running through him right now. To be able to feel Senpai again, to breathe in the man's scent made him feel at ease. Now he wanted to kiss those soft lips.

"Let me go you idiot! What are you thinking?!" Senpai pushed him away. Only then did Morinaga realize what he just done. 'Oh, shit! In the end... I couldn't stop myself! And I nearly kissed him here!'

"Um... Senpai, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... I only... I'm happy you're back." He couldn't help but smile. Senpai was again in Japan even although he was now looking at Morinaga with anger written all over his face. Despite all that, Morinaga was extremely happy. He wouldn't be alone anymore. He had his beloved again and they would stay together at the apartment. Go to school together, work in the lab, eat together, talk... and argue. They would do all those things they did before Senpai left him alone. Upon seeing how happy Morinaga became thinking about them together, Senpai got flushed, and a little embarrassed. He averted his gaze from Morinaga.

"Just... let us leave. I don't want to make a commotion," said Senpai still not looking Morinaga in the eyes.

"Yes but first... Welcome back Sempai." Morinaga smiled wide and warm to the man who was still looking away. Senpai only gave him a quick look and turned his head away again all red in his face.

"Are we going or are you staying here?" Senpai was irritated. Morinaga was surprised. He didn't say anything that was worth such a reaction.

"We're going. Give me your bag. I'll carry it for you." Morinaga wanted to take Senpai's bag, but Senpai didn't let him.

"I can carry my own stuff. I don't need your help!" He moved towards the exit.

"I was only trying to help. You look tired." Morinaga hurried and he was now walking beside Senpai.

"It's okay. You don't have to worry. I'll be just fine," said Senpai and walked towards the bus stop.

*** ***

Souichi was feeling bad. He couldn't sleep last night. He was thinking what his meeting with Morinaga would look like. He knew the man had missed him very much. He wondered what his kouhai was doing all that time they were apart. He suppressed all thoughts about Morinaga from that time he woke up in somebody else's bed. What would Morinaga do if he found out about that?

Souichi felt bad every time he thought about it. That was the reason he didn't want to talk to Morinaga. He was afraid that he will give something away and Morinaga would find out what he did. He didn't know how the idiot would react, but considering how he reacted on Isogai's bullshit talk(,) there would definitely be a scene. Somehow he knew he wouldn't have the chance to talk back or defend himself since what he did was wrong. It wasn't like they were together as a couple, he and Morinaga, but still he had to admit it, they were something more than just friends.

Souichi was scared of seeing Morinaga. He would try to act normal but he wasn't so sure if he would be able to. He was bad at lying. He thought all night about his "relationship" with Morinaga and he knew he couldn't let Morinaga find out about his unfaithfulness. It would be awkward. He was exhausted and slept on the plane, but still that was not enough. Morinaga saw that he was tired. Damn! It was hard enough to get off of the plane, but it was even harder to look into Morinaga's eyes.

It was a good thing that his kouhai did something that made him mad. It was better that way, as if everything would be the same way it was before he flew to Canada. But even mad he couldn't look into Morinaga's eyes. They were so happy looking at him. Morinaga couldn't hide how much he was happy to see him. That made Senpai feel really guilty. He knew Morinaga wouldn't cheat on him, no matter what. He didn't know where he got that knowledge from, but he simply was certain about it.

Maybe if he had scared that woman away after that night, he wouldn't feel this way now. But he didn't know how to do it without hurting her feelings, so they continued to meet. The truth was, whenever he turned around she was there, smiling at him and clinging to him. He was becoming desperate. It was good that he was going back home. After that night, he avoided drinking or being alone with her. He didn't give her the opportunity to do something like kissing him or even more. He didn't want to.

In Canada he had problems with Naomi, and here in Japan he would have problems with Morinaga. But he had to admit it, he preferred to fight with Morinaga. He knew him and knew what to say to make the other obey. He knew how far he could go and he knew Morinaga wasn't a crybaby. He could be as unpleasant as he needed to be to make his anger go away.

Now Souichi had to do something to become the way he was before. If not, Morinaga would sense something was wrong and he didn't want that to happen. Still it was hard. He tried with all his willpower to act normal and he hoped he managed to do it. They talked all the way from the airport about the experiments Morinaga did while Souichi was away. That made him less nervous. He even thought that with some time, he really would be the same as always. Without Naomi around, it wouldn't be that hard. Morinaga would make him angry and he would act like himself again.

First they got to their apartment. Souichi saw that nothing changed there. His things were still there. Now that he was home, he really started to feel like this was his home. It wasn't his house in which he grew up, but he somehow started to like the place. It was neat and comfortable. Morinaga even wiped the dust in his room and changed the bedding so he wouldn't have to do anything. He could rest without worrying about anything.

Morinaga didn't stop talking; he was so excited, still so happy. Souichi smiled inside. He knew Morinaga would be happy when he got back from Canada, but he was happier than Souichi imagined. He wouldn't let something so stupid like a drunken man's actions wipe that happiness away. He will remain silent and forget all about that stupid incident. He was in deep thoughts so he didn't notice that Morinaga came close and hugged him again, this time from behind.

"What the hell?! Can't you stop that?!" Souichi started to struggle. He got startled by Morinaga and now he managed to turn to look with his angry eyes into Morinaga's. He wanted to punch him for doing something he didn't want, but when he saw the look Morinaga gave him, he just couldn't. There were so many emotions inside his eyes that he couldn't distinguish them all. But he could see how desperate Morinaga was. He gave in and let Morinaga hug him.

"Just for a while Senpai, please? I missed you so much. Just a bit more. I won't do anything bad to you so... please, let me hold you longer." Souichi couldn't say no. He himself wanted to be held by Morinaga. Here in his arms he stopped thinking about unpleasant things. There was only he and Morinaga.

"Senpai, I thought a lot about what happened and I'm really very sorry. I really want you to trust me more. I want to show you how much I love you. I'll do anything, really. So please, believe in me." Souichi was feeling pain inside and with every word Morinaga spoke it was increasing. He felt the guilt and didn't even notice that he hugged Morinaga back. He hid his face from Morinaga and listened to his words.

"The last two months were so lonely. We spent almost five years together and I... really got used to living with you. I'm sorry about that time I almost did it. I really don't want to force you into something that you're not ready for. I can wait. I love you and I would rather hurt myself than hurt you." Souichi couldn't listen to Morinaga anymore. Everything he said caused him to feel even worse than he felt before. If it goes on, he wouldn't be able to remain silent.

"Stop that! I heard enough. I know what you mean so just cut it out... and let me go! You hugged me enough." He was squirming in Morinaga's arms.

"I'm going to sleep now. I'm tired." Morinaga reluctantly let him go. Souichi, without making any eye contact with Morinaga, hurried into his room.

"Sleep well, Senpai." Souichi couldn't say anything back; no matter how much he wanted too. He knew his voice would give him away, so he only shut the door and locked it. He didn't want Morinaga to see him like that. He knew that he was on the verge of crying and if Morinaga walked into his room and saw him, he wouldn't stop asking questions until Souichi would say what brought him to that state. Souichi threw himself onto the bed hiding his face and the tears that were ready to spill, fell on the pillow. 'I'm sorry.'


Note: This is it. I hope you liked it. I'll try to update as soon as I can. :)