~3 weeks later~
BELLA
"Where are you going?" The voice of my brother startled me in my search for my house keys. I crawled on all fours looking under the couch to find them.
"Yes." I said to myself, and then turned towards Ashton to answer his question, "Oh yeah, I'm just going out with Mel." I said nonchalantly. Before he could answer Noah entered the living room.
Even though I'd just seen him not too long ago, me and Noah had this thing where we'd act like we hadn't seen each other in years. He'd throw himself in my arms and I'd catch him while he talked about his day.
"Hey there, Noah -Bear! What did ya' do today?" He gave me the biggest grin so today had to have been eventful.
"You'll never guess! Ashy took me to the park and guess what!? My girlfriend was there!" His 'girlfriend's' name was Roxy, and she was a year older than him but they were in the same school. He'd always talk about how they'd hang out at recess time and how much he loved her.
"Guess what happened Belly-Bean! She kissed me, right on the cheek! You know what that means? We're gonna get married?" Noah had a tendency of answering his own questions but it was cute when he rambled because most of his sentences weren't formed properly and it just sounded adorable.
"Oh my gosh Noah-Bear! You better start looking at places to live, cause I think you're gonna want to live on your own with Roxy right?" His face fell when I said this, and I tried not to laugh.
"Belly-Bean what are you talking about? I can't leave, Roxy is my wife but you're my special girl. I'm gonna build us the biggest house in the world and then Roxy can move in with us, okay?" I giggled and then nodded placing him down while he plopped on the couch.
"Noah go get ready, we're going to pick up my friend so the three of us can go out for lunch, and after that I'm gonna take you to Abuela's." Noah jumped off the couch and then headed to his room, Ashton following him to make sure he didn't get distracted by something on his way up.
Because of my mom's lack to take care of any of us, Noah lives with my grandmother. Ash and I have school so it's hard to pick him up and drop him off every day but he's always around on weekends.
When my dad died Noah didn't really understand, he was only 4 when it happened. He died in late October, only four months ago. We got the call at around 12:00 am, and all I remember hearing was my mom's sob and everything changed. We sat on the couch for hours, she, Ash and I, just silently crying into each other's arms. No one wanted to wake Noah up, but Ash told him when he did.
At first Noah told everyone not to cry. For a four year old he was pretty brave. He went about his day normally. I remember Ashton telling him that, 'daddy wasn't coming home' and Noah looked at him and shook his head. He knew my dad's job was dangerous, he just didn't understand the concept of death. When everyone was crying Noah was saying to stop. He said 'daddy doesn't like it when we're sad'. Days past and that's when he started to ask where he was.
The day of the funeral was when Noah had his breakdown.
We went up to the casket to put flowers, and when Noah saw him laying there lifeless he was telling him to wake up. 'Daddy your friends are here to see you' I remember him saying, and in the middle of the ceremony when they were putting his body under Noah kicked and screamed. He told everyone that they couldn't put him under. He said that he wasn't able to breathe even though he already wasn't. That's when I removed him and brought him to the parking lot where he couldn't see anything.
I was glad I didn't have to see it, my dad was my best friend, even though what Noah was saying about him not being able to breathe made no sense I wanted to yell at them and tell them to stop. Noah cried for hours, the only thing that would put him to bed was the song 'you are my sunshine'. I sang that to him over and over, of course it was muffled by my cries and sobs but eventually he stopped crying and fell asleep.
I haven't seen Noah cry since then. He's four years old so I'd expect him to cry over stupid things, but Noah was different. He wasn't like most kids, even when he asks 'when's daddy coming' and usually someone we'll explain to him that he's not or he can't Noah will just nod his head.
I wish I could be like Noah sometimes. He doesn't cry at all and I can't stop. Every now and then when missing my dad becomes unbearable I call his phone just to hear the voice mail. "This is Captain Nole Clowinsky of the Los Angeles police department, I'm sorry I can't come to the phone right now but I promise to get back to you as soon as I can. If this is one of my kids then guys I'm sorry I'm not home right now but I'll be there soon. Leave me a message after the *beeb*"
Sometimes I'll leave him a message begging him to answer the phone even though I know he can't. Other times I'll listen to the voicemail over and over again, begging and pleading for him to stop lying that he's dead and he can't keep his promises when he's dead.
When Ashton comes back he turns to face me just as I'm about to leave,
"Bells you can't leave you're supposed to meet L-" I cut off his whining because damn was it getting annoying.
"Ash I'll meet him when I get back don't worry about it." I groaned in annoyance. I headed out the door before he could say anything, else. My brother always has to be protective of me, and I'm glad but sometimes I just was to punch him in the nose. Ash is 21 and sometimes he thinks he's 41. He has all these extra responsibilities now that my dad is dead, and I just wish he didn't think that I was one of them.
I wish my mom was around more, we talk sometimes, only when Phil isn't around and he usually is. Phil, ugh I can't even begin to describe the hatred I feel towards that guy, we all hate him, Ashton especially. He's always trying to get Noah to call him dad and Noah usually bites him. Ashton almost killed him one time when he tried raising his hand to Noah, jeez if looks could kill Phil would have been six feet under.
He's also really handsy, like when we go out for dinner he always puts his hand on my lower back to escort me out. Like dude I've got two feet I know where I'm going.
I just want my mom to open her eyes and realize it, because sometimes I need her when I'm sad and she's just not there.
In my driveway Melissa's car is parked, she's wearing her sunglasses and I can tell by just her shirt she's wearing a slutty outfit.
"Hurry up bitch!" She joked. My relationship with Melissa was always like this, she was considered a bit of a slut in our school because well... She was a slut. I don't care though, what she does isn't my business the only thing I don't like is that she likes to share in great detail what goes on in her sexual life and well, she's quite the sexual girl.
I trust Melissa with personal stuff even though she isn't very trust worthy when it comes to other people. If I were having family problems then sure, she'd be the first to know and best at giving me advice.
I think I could trust her with my secrets but not with other peoples. That's why it was harder to gossip with her, because if you told her just a bit of dirt on anyone it was like giving a miner a shovel and she wouldn't stop until she got the gold.
For example in the 11th grade Melissa's really close friend Allison told us about this time when she had a threesome- which by the way was really gross because she went into descriptive detail and the guys were like 35 million years older but anyway- Mel told the whole school and Allison despised us, even though I had nothing to do with it. Since then I knew it was best to keep my sexual life to myself.
We hit up a few stores including H&M and Forever21 before deciding it was time to get food. We sat in the food court eating New-York fries while Melissa was telling me a sexual story.
"...and then bam I just gave him a blowjob." She finished off her story earning disapproving scowls form an elderly couple sitting near by.
"You are such a slut." I laughed and she smirked proudly. I just shook my head telling her how sad it was that she took that as a compliment. She threw a fry at me and said,
"Don't act all innocent with me. I know you slept with a guy at the club." I hated when she did this. Always turning the tables to me. Like fuck, I don't want to be apart of her games.
"Just tell me, was it any good? All you've said was his name is Luke, you haven't been with any other guy since Jason and I-" She stopped dead in her tracks and my eyes went wide. I grew angry by just the mention of his name and she knew that.
"Why are you so fucking nosy!?" I snapped. "You already know why I don't tell you anything yet you insist to know. Maybe if you kept your mouth shut for one second I'd tell you." I huffed. I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she knew everything about Jason and how I felt when she brought him up.
Jason Abrams was my ex boyfriend from grade eleven. We'd been together since the beginning of that year and inseparable ever since. Jason was a year older than me, and I think I was mostly attracted to him because every girl wanted him. We broke up after I lost my virginity to him, just a few months before my dad died. I hated Jason for some many reasons, one being the fact that he told his whole football team that I put out, and I had guys asking me- rather begging- for me to do stuff with them. It was horrible.
I couldn't stand being there, so I stormed out and left. I caught a cab home trying my hardest not to cry. I then remembered Ashton's friend Liam was coming today and I didn't want to embarrass myself. I got home a little past eight taking my time to compose myself and then opening the door to my house.
"Bella." My brother yells the second my foot is in the door. Jeez can I not get a second?
"What!" I yell back. He didn't answer so I guess I might as well walk over to him. The second I step foot in the living room, all the air is taken from my lungs and I freeze. Unmistakable blue eyes and tall height made me stop. There he was.
"Bella this is my best friend Luke. Luke this is my younger sister Bella." His name was not Liam.
