I quickly cleaned myself up, dressing again as Edward went out to the garage to load the Vanquish. In spite of the fact that my stomach twisted as he left the bedroom, I was glad he was gone. It gave me a few moments to get it together. I was so ashamed. Never had I spoken that way to Edward before. This unappeasable need for him that had nothing to do with sex… okay, almost nothing…was getting out of hand. It was all I could do to wretch myself from his arms moments ago. The terror I felt over losing any of the desire I had for him was driving me to extremes. All I could think about was making love with him. Lately, it had been a rare moment when I didn't feel like I was on the verge of a breakdown if some part of his body wasn't in direct contact with mine. I searched for the right descriptive word… clingy. I only felt safe when his hand was in mine.
He seemed so anxious as well. Was he sensing my fear? Was this what just made him look like he didn't want to leave me, any more than I wanted left?
I had made my intentions clear and at long last he was in true agreement with me. With out a doubt, he knew I had no reservations about what we were soon to do. But this was hard, the hardest thing I had ever done in my life.
He told me what my new life would be like, they all had to some extent, but this leap was vast and scary regardless of my preparation… or maybe because of it. But I had wanted to know, every little detail.
I had no idea if he was reading my fear or if it was just his own anxieties over my upcoming change that was getting him as possessive as I was to him. I knew as we made our preparations and the days whittled away my need for him was growing worse. I was too afraid of his reaction to air my thoughts aloud.
I had to be stronger… for him. I would not allow him to see me suffer. I put my happy face on, turned out the bedroom lights and headed to the back door, to the garage, and to him. That thought alone relieved the tightness around my heart.
Edward was just closing the trunk. I walked toward him, running my fingers along the body of the Aston Martin. Maybe it wasn't my style, but I couldn't deny it was a beautiful car. He looked up at me warily, as if I was some fragile doll that could be shattered with just the wrong word. I knew I had to bring him out of this.
"Gonna let me drive?" I teased. This wasn't about me being a mere human or even a girl. The only person besides Edward I had ever seen behind the wheel of the Vanquish was my father.
"Tell you what, I'll wake you up for a turn if I start to get sleepy." He smiled and opened my door for me.
"Not fair! You let Charlie drive it... once."
He laughed as I stomped my foot and pretended to hold my breath. "Alone time with you was at a premium back then. Heck, I would have bought him one of his own if it would have garnered longer unsupervised visits. Now…" he paused just long enough to kiss my forehead. "…be a good girl and get in."
We were really behind schedule now. It was nearly midnight when we got on ninety-one south. Edward raised one eyebrow, but said nothing as I opened the sunroof and rolled down my window, pleased the wind barely ruffled my hair.
Warm and comfy under the extra blanket we just made love on, I stretched myself across the armrest, my head on Edward's shoulder, my legs curled up underneath me. Edward had his MP3 docked in the console. An eclectic mix played… Green Day, Otis Redding, Queen, Ella Fitzgerald, Nickleback, Pink. It shouldn't have been good together, but somehow he had made it blend perfectly. I kept my eyes closed as we cruised down the highway at god knows what speed. Unlike in my truck, I felt no vibration from the gear shift, only that familiar sense of relief that came from my hand on his. If not for the breeze and the sound of the car cutting through the air, we could have been idling at a traffic light. But no matter how quietly the Vanquished purred down the road, I knew it was all an illusion derived by superior engineering, one that would be quickly dispelled were I to open my eyes and look.
I had gotten up early today to pack and it was getting hard to keep awake, especially with my eyes closed. When we hit our first gas stop, I got out and stretched my legs, trying to shake off my stupor.
"I'm running inside to use the ladies room and get a drink. Do you need anything?"
He rolled his eyes at me from the pump. "Just hurry up. We're running way behind."
After taking care of my human needs, I got an orange juice from the cooler. I bounced up and down impatiently as a large biker guy with a cut off denim jacket and skulls covering his bare arms dug around in his pockets for money to pay for his cigarettes.
As we sped back down the road, my mind on the verge of sleep started wandering, about details. "Edward, if you get a tattoo when you're human, will it still be there when you're a vampire?"
"What?" He snorted.
I broke my no looking rule, my eyes opening to his surprised face.
"You know, do you think the ink would burn off or would it just stay there beneath the surface?"
His smile lit his amber eyes as he responded to my question. "I never considered the possibility."
"Okay, I was just wondering."
It was a full ten seconds before his curiosity got the best of him.
"Why do you want to know?" He pulled the hand I had returned to his atop the gearshift to his lips. "Are you considering a surprise for me? I'm fairly acquainted with your skin and I speak with confidence when I say that you... are completely ink free."
"Oh, I don't know." I replied thoughtfully. "Maybe I want to shave my head and get a snake permanently affixed to my skull."
His lips moved into my hair. "I'll be fine with it, but I think your sister-in-law might intercept you on the way to the tattoo parlor."
"Drat, forgot all about her." I yawned. "Guess we'll never know."
"Guess not." He chuckled.
OoOoOoOoOoO
We drove down Interstate ninety-one picking up ninety-five in Bridgeport. I could tell she was fighting sleep when we made our first fuel stop outside Philadelphia. Once we got back onto the interstate, I knew she would last much longer.
My arm was encased in her warmth, face pressed into my shoulder and hands wrapped around it like it was a favorite teddy bear. As soon as she fell asleep, I rolled up her window and closed the sun roof. I had smiled at the unnecessary gesture, but didn't comment or argue when she opened them. However, soon the aroma of our earlier love making billowed out of the quilt and filled the car, causing me as much distress as it did pleasure. I changed my mind and pushed the button to let a little fresh air in again from above our heads. She felt plenty warm on the heated seat wrapped in her blanket.
The night was beautiful and clear and I took a few moments, putting away my worries, and just let myself enjoy the speed. Rather than drive straight through to Jacksonville, we veered west in D.C. taking sixty-six to eighty-one and the Shenandoah National Park
I chuckle silently, listening to the steady beat of her sleeping heart.
… a tattoo of a snake on her bare skull…
No one could pull me out of a funk faster than her. I hadn't been able to stop smiling since the words spilled out of her mouth.
"Edward….' She whispered in her sleep.
She shifted her position slightly and one hand dropped away from me.
"Hold me… please…" Her fingers began to search and with a quiet sigh from her lips, they wiggled their way underneath my sleeve.
"…I love you…."
I can't imagine how I spent night after night in her room at her father's house listening to that and not caving to my carnal seventeen year old needs. The last few miles it had grown increasingly difficult to watch her sleep, hearing her whisper my name, professing her love for me, and not disturb her. She needed her rest and we were running terribly behind. But her ever compounding need to touch me, even while asleep, only fueled my desire to reciprocate. If it was practically possible, I would stay in bed and inside her, all day and all night, refusing to be disconnected from our beating heart and her soft warm body for one second.
Low on fuel again, I pulled off the interstate. We weren't far from our destination, probably would make it on what gas we had. However, I didn't like the idea of running the car too close to empty, especially with the faint glow of the sun on the horizon, so I decided to pull off now, and avoid the unnecessary risk. Careful as I was not to jostle the car, I felt her stir as we pulled into the convenience store parking lot in Harrisonburg.
"Go back to sleep love, I'm just stopping for gas."
As I got out to fill our tank, I heard her yawn and stretch. She opened the car door, stumbling out groggily.
Maybe she had to go to the bathroom again… maybe not. A shiver ran down my back as she walked over to where I was and trailed her nails down my spine. Her fingers rested briefly on the waistband of my jeans, only to stick themselves into my back pocket. My body stiffened as she rubbed her nose up and down my arm, exhaling her warm fragrant breath through my thin long sleeved shirt, the aroma whirling up into my face. Maybe I had become a masochist. The pain from her scent was now part of the pleasure and my eyes closed as a myriad of images of us making love immobilized me where I stood.
"What's the matter?" she asked in response to me turning into a rock.
"Would you please stop touching me?"
It came out of my clenched teeth before I could stop it. She pulled her hand out of my pocket and took a physical step back. The expression on her face was horrifying. I needed to explain... quickly. I abandoned the pump nozzle, pressing her into the side of the car and bending down to whisper in her ear.
"Do you have any idea what that does to me?" Her neck was just too close. I bent lower and brushed my lips over it as I continued. "The sun is about ten minutes from climbing over that tree there, and all I can think of is tearing every stitch of clothing off you and taking on the hood of this car... right here, right now, and right in front of anyone that would happen to pass by."
"Oh."
Oh...? Just oh...? I looked in her eyes, expecting a molecule of pity… or at the very least restraint. It was not what I received. She seized my face crushing her mouth to mine. Had she listened to me at all? Did she not realize that I was far from kidding?
With all the mental strength I had, I forced her away from me.
"You're killing me." I groaned leaning along side her against the car.
"I love you Edward."
"Not helping… But I love you too." I never missed an opportunity to say that.
"Do I have enough time to pee?"
"Go." I snarled and got into the car.
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