Galaxina-the-Seedrian: You're about to find out.

No Kat in this chapter. But she becomes important, I promise.

BTW, I got the idea from the fanfic "Silence Hurts." Just thought I'd give the author credit.


"MY WHAT?!" Heinz shouted.

"Your son," Francis repeated. "Do you remember Linda, your old girlfriend?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Seventeen years ago, she brought her illegitimate son to the OWCA, claiming he was your child. However, the child was unrecognizable, not even looking human any more. She claimed it had happened in an experiment gone horribly wrong, and gave me full custody over the child."

"I'm coming over right now!" Heinz said, grabbing his lab coat and running out the front door.

He met up with Francis a few minutes later outside OWCA headquarters. "Where's my son?!" Heinz demanded. "I want to meet him!"

"You already have. Since the child looked like an animal, we were able to make him an agent for the OWCA," Francis explained. "Of course, now that you know that means you and Linda now share joint-custody over the boy."

At the same time, Perry came out with a newspaper, which he nervously handed to Francis.

"Go ahead," Francis said. "He was going to figure out you could talk eventually."

"Is it really true?" Perry asked. "What they said in the newspaper?"

Francis nodded.

"What's Dr. D doing here, anyways?" Perry asked.

"I'm here because Francis has been holding my son hostage for seventeen years!"

"Seventeen?" Perry asked. "So there's someone my age around here?"

That's when it finally clicked for Heinz. Francis just confirmed it.

"Perry, I would like you to meet your father, Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Now that both of you know, you'll be alternating between Linda and Heinz's houses every other week, all right? I would suggest you get your things. You're going home with him."

The car ride home was silent. Not the not the usual silence, a more awkward one.

Heinz cleared his throat. The silence was killing him. "So, um, what all did you know?"

Perry shrugged, looking out the window. "Not much, just that I was a mutant freak," he said, looking out the window. "I kinda hoped my parents wanted me, but I figured it wasn't true. Guess I was right."

"Hey!" Heinz said, startled. "I never said I didn't want you!"

"But it's true, isn't it? Your own nemesis, your son? Not only that, but a freak who isn't even human any more? It's okay, I understand."

They pulled into DEI's parking lot. Heinz didn't know what to say. He'd been shocked when he found out, and found it all a little strange, but he still wanted Perry. He felt like he'd failed when it came to raising Vanessa, and he didn't want to screw this one up. It was a new start. Right?


The next day, Heinz was still worried about being a good dad to Perry. So he decided to go talk to Linda.

He knocked on the door. He recognized Linda, but she looked older and calmer. "Umm, Linda? It's me, Heinz."

"Come to talk about Perry?"

He nodded.

"Come inside. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Tea made, the two sat down in the living room. "So, what's up? I already have three kids- well, four, so I'm sure I can help."

"Three other kids besides Perry?"

"Yes. Well, one's my stepson, but the other two are all mine."

"How do you do it?" he asked. "My daughter hates me. I bet Perry hates me. My daughter doesn't tell me anything, acts like I'm a total embarassment, doesn't take any interest in anything I do-"

"First of all, I'm pretty sure your kids don't hate you. You would have to do something unspeakable for that to happen. Secondly, you need to try to understand your kids. Figure you how they think, what they like, and try to connect with them."

On the drive home, Heinz was deep in thought. How well did he really know Perry? Not hardly at all, actually. He knew he was a secret agent, hated evil, and well... he knew a little about Perry's past. Just when Perry foiled his schemes and how he came to work for the OWCA, though.

Perry was a fresh start. He had to do this right.