Date Night

I got home and took a shower and put my best dress on with leggings and flats. I checked the body mirror on the back of my dorm door. I fixed my Orthodox Jew pony tail to perfection.

Hell yea, Amy. You are one sexy bitch. I said as I blew kisses to myself.

"Knock. Knock "

I opened the door and Bumper was there," so, you ready to do this or what?" He asked with no enthusiasm

"I guess." I shrugged and pulled the door shut

I got in his new dodge charger and he turned B.O.B on the Radio to full blast. I started rapping and I could see Bumper smiling out the corner of my eye. I turned the stereo down," Bumper, where are we going?"

"To a strip club" he replied joking

"Oh shit! I love strip clubs! I wish you would have informed me before we left and I would have gotten my single dollars out!"

He shook his head," Everything that comes put of your mouth surprises me." He smiled

He was so damn cute when he smiled.

"I bet vomit wouldn't surprise you if it came out of my mouth." I laughed

We pulled into a comedy club parking lot.

"We are going to watch people make jokes for the next two hours?" I asked dull. Deep down I was really excited because I love comedy clubs but, Bumper doesn't know that.

"Nope. We are going to watch people make jokes for two and a half hours."

"Oh. I stand corrected...smart ass"

He opened the door to the club for me," you know, If You wanted to listen people crack jokes you could always hang out with me more. I'm pretty funny Bumper Allen." I said taking a seat at the table

"Amy, you are the strangest girl I've ever met." He was looking at me with lust in his eyes.

"Want to know why?" I asked wiggling my eyebrows. He nodded yes" it's because I'm not a girl honey. I'm a woman."

He laughed," oh now I stand corrected. I see how it is."

We sat at our booth drinking and eating for two and half hours as we watched mediocre comedians take the stage.

"Now what are we doing? It is only midnight " I asked as we got back into his car after the club closed for the night.

"Geez. You are the most annoying person I've ever dated." Bumper said revving up the car

"Butt muncher, listen. We aren't dating. You have to buy me dinner, take me out to do something fun, and fool around with me before Fat Amy dates you." I explained and shrugged my shoulders," and, you have only done one of those."

He laughed,"what a skank! Do you sleep with everyone before you date them?"

"No. Only ones with potential to be my sugar daddy. I have to test out the merchandise before I buy it."

He shook his head and I couldn't help but laugh. I fibbed a little. I usually only sleep with boys i was in a serious relationship with, but Bumper different.

We pulled into a park. "You really put some thought into this date huh?" I laughed at got out of the car pointing at the park

"You haven't even gotten to the best part yet. " Bumper hit a green button on a pole and water started to shot up from the ground.

"Yessss." I yelled and grabbed a water gun and shot Bumper.

I took off running as Bumper ran after me with a bucket full of water and I fell.

Bumper was laughing hard and bent down to check on me," I broke my ass! It is broken!"

"Come on Amy. We better go before you get hurt." He held his hand out to help me up

"It's too late. I already broke my ass."

He started laughing and we went to the swings," I like you Fat Amy." He said quietly and still swinging.

"I guess I like you too Douchbag." I could feel my heart sink to my stomach as I said the words

"Wanna make out in my car?" He asked as he jumped from the swing set.

"I don't know. What If you have lip herpes or bad dog breath?" I asked smiling

"I was just thinking the same thing about you." He laughed as we got into the car. The moment he sat down I kissed him. He tasted like mint gum. He grabbed and handful of my hair and kissed me harder,"Lets do it." I whispered. "Shit. Fat Amy you don't have to tell me twice!" Bumper replied still kissing me. I enjoyed every moment of our date.

A few hours later*

Bumper pulled up to the dorms," This was a horrible date Amy. Maybe we could never do this again."

I laughed at him because In Bumper language that translated to man, Amy you rocked my world. Wanna go out again tomorrow?!"

"Whatever. Dweeb." I got out of the car and headed into the building and my phone buzzed.

"You just left me! And, your already calling?! Damn I know I am sexy but, this is ridiculous. " I said to Bumper a I answered the phone

"Shut your pie hole Amy. I wanted to tell you something."

"Okay. I'm listening." My heart was pounding fast.

"You know I have to be mean to you're in public. I have a rep to uphold." Bumper explained with a laugh

"I know that, and just between us. I like the Devil Bumper I see in public and I like Angel Bumper that I met tonight... If you ever tell anyone that I'll sit on you! First and only warning."

"Hah! Deal. This conversation never happened."

"Night Bumper. "

"Good night Amy. I hope the bed bugs bite."

I closed the phone and spun around my dorm room. I can't believe I slept with him! He must think I'm a Slut. Oh well, at least I'm his slut.