Nothing but Hate
Disclaimer:
Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight
Summary:
When all her life she had been shown nothing but hate, can one guy show her love? Or will Bella Swan push him away, afraid of being hurt? AH AU EXB OOC
A/N I changed the rating on this for this, mainly because with the amount of swearing, I really didn't think that a 'T' rating was sufficient.
Thanks to those who took the time to review last chapter.
I just want to say that between each section there is a time shift. Sometimes it's small, other times it's big.
Also because I'm aiming this on being a three shot, I'm not going into immense detail between Edward and Bella. The chapters just show the progression between the relationship between Bella and Edward. So if you find it skips too much I'm sorry. I just wanted to write snippets of the change in relationship. And right now I don't want to get into posting and writing another long story.
The months passed and slowly but gradually, Edward managed to gain some confidence from Bella Swan. They would meet at the table at lunch and ask tentative questions about each other's pasts. They opened up and let each other in. They were each others confidants.
Soon those meetings at the bench during lunch would expand to after school where Edward would meet Bella outside school and drop her home. They would then spend time together in his car.
And then Bella would creep over towards Edward's house in the night which angered Edward for her lack of safety. But she would spend the night with him seeking comfort and in the early hours of the morning, Edward would walk her home to make sure she got home safely.
And it was during those times that the two had grown to depend on each other.
Edward loved it.
Bella hated it.
"When's Charlie getting back?" Edward asked
"Who fucking cares?" Bella sighed as she laid her head on Edward's chest breathing in deeply, her eyes closed, and her hands playing with his messy hair.
"Bella…"
"In a few days – hope he fucking sinks that boat." Bella let the anger creep into her voice as she spoke the last part causing Edward to sigh.
"I don't understand why you won't tell anyone…"
"I fucking told you"
"And you also fucking made me swear not to tell anyone. And you know I have a thing about keeping promises."
"It's not as if it's that bad anyway…"
Edward snorted as he ran his fingers along Bella's spine. "Not that bad? Yeah fucking right."
"I'm serious. He only talks. It's not like he's ever hit me. I can't say I fucking blame him. I do look exactly like her. I'm a constant reminder to him and he can't stand it…" Bella sat up indignant.
"If it's not hurting you too much Bella – why do you want his boat to sink?"
Bella sighed as she looked away from his green eyes and out of the window where the rain was falling hard.
"I don't know – I don't really. I mean, he is my father. I lo- don't hate him or anything. It's just that sometimes his words hurt you know. And I wish they didn't but they do… whoever said 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' was really talking bullshit."
Edward sighed as he saw Bella's distress and pulled her down on top of him, letting her rest her head on his chest and stroking her hair with one hand whilst the other traced patterns on her back.
"Why can't you say it?" He asked her, whispered
Bella knew immediately what he was talking about. "I told you – love is a bitch. It fucks everything up and makes you hurt. It's always easier to hate…"
Edward's eyes darkened as he took on her words. He had hoped that through the months they had spent together, she had gotten rid of that ridiculous notion she clung to.
"Why do you listen to every piece of shit that your mother spouted to you? It's fucking bull and you bloody well know it."
Bella looked up from her position and stared into his eyes. "Haven't you always remembered the words your mother spoke to you? The words a mother speaks are powerful. They're drilled into your brain and you can't not remember them. They play in your mind over and over again and if they're good you recall on them with fondness. But if they're bad and hurtful you yearn to push them away but nothing helps. You wish for it to happen but they still play through your mind over and over like a fucking broken record and you are fucking helpless. I know you remember your mother's words. Why shouldn't I remember mine?"
"It's my parents' anniversary next weekend" Edward broke the silence
"Oh?" Bella's hands faltered their movement of running lightly through his hair before they resumed
"Yeah. I was thinking of driving down to where they were buried for the weekend – you coming?" Edward asked
"Do you want me to come?" Bella asked sitting up. Edward sat up to.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want you to come…" he smiled as Bella smiled
"Then yeah – I'll come"
He shut the boot of the car with a slam and turned around as Bella came out of her house.
"Does Charlie know where you're going this weekend?" Edward asked curiously
"I left him a note saying I'll be gone with a friend. Like he'll fucking care" Bella added the last part bitterly
"Let's go then" Edward grinned as he opened the passenger door and Bella climbed in.
"Are you fucking shitting me? How much did you fucking spend?" Bella gazed in awe as they drove up to the hotel they were staying at
"Carlisle insisted on paying. Said he wasn't going to have me staying at some run down motel" Edward shrugged as he pulled up to the front and handed the keys to the valet.
"Does he know I'm with you?" Bella asked before she got out of the car and slipped her hand into Edward's subconsciously as they walked up the marble steps of the front entrance to the hotel.
"No. I think he thought I may take someone but he didn't ask. Do you want him to know?"
"No – he'll probably tell you to stay the fuck away from me – what with me being the fucking freak of the town" Edward stopped abruptly at Bella's words and pulled her to face him
"Don't you fucking say that" Anger glinted his tone and his eyes burned through Bella. Her own eyes widened as she stared at his change of mood and she nodded her head slowly. Edward relaxed slightly and pulled her towards him, his arms moving around her shoulders as he rested his chin on her head before closing his eyes as he felt Bella's arms, wrap around his waist. He pulled away slight, kissing her forehead lightly before pulling away completely to resume walking.
"Are you ever mad at them"?
Edward looked down on Bella confused. They were walking back to the hotel after visiting his parents at the cemetery when Bella asked her question.
"Why would I be mad at them?"
"Because they left you – I mean, they just left you in this world all on your fucking own…"
"It was hardly their fault Bella. It wasn't really anyone's fault – the fire killed them." Bella nodded.
"You know you're really weird." Edward looked startled as Bella spoke and curiosity overtook his features.
"Really? How so?"
"You act like a complete bad boy at school – but your personality doesn't seem to match up to it. You do give a fuck about things. You don't smoke and drink and take drugs when you're alone or with me. And then when you go to school you mouth off and get into fights and speak your mind – but you seem to… I mean you just don't have this hate in you or this disgust or loathing or anything like that…" Bella looked at Edward to see if he understood what she was trying to say. Edward smiled.
"You know when I was put into foster homes I would be so trusting and ready to believe the best in everyone because that's how my parents raised me. They raised me to be a gentleman. So I would always say 'please' and 'thank-you'. I would ask if anyone wanted the last biscuit or chocolate. I would hold the door open for others. I would always let girls go first." Edward stopped and looked at the ceiling before snorting. "A lot of good that shit did me. Within two weeks I had these guys who were two years older than me corner me in my room and tell me that that shit didn't work there. They told me that if I wanted to fit in I'd better drop the fucking act or they'd do it for me."
Bella moved along the sofa that they were sharing to watch TV and put her arms around his shoulders as her fingers automatically tangled in his hair in an attempt to comfort him.
"I realised soon that if I wanted to not be beaten the shit out of I'd just drop all of my gentleman traits and adopt the image that all foster children had. I became moody and sullen – although I guess a part of that was because I hated it there due to the bastards that ran around that fucked up place. I became a 'bad boy' on the outside but I always hated it. It just wasn't me. I guess some of the bad boy traits grew on me though – like speaking my mind and standing up for myself and others."
"I'll kill them! I'll fuck them over so bad they won't know what fucking happened…"
Bella looked through her swollen eye at a furiously pacing Edward and she let out a loud sob. Edward immediately stopped pacing and stalked over to his bed where she was lying on, sitting next to her as Bella wrapped her arms around him and cried.
"You don't hit girls Edward" Bella mumbled against his t-shirt.
"I'll fucking break the rule once and hit them." Anger was still running through him and he clenched his eyes shut in frustration. How dare they? He looked down at the girl in his arms and sighed. "What the fuck did they do exactly?"
Bella stopped sobbing. "The cornered me in the changing rooms. Said shit like I'm fucked up and a bitch and I should just fucking kill myself and save everyone the bother. I stopped listening after a while. And then when I didn't respond to them, Jessica got all pissed and shoved me. And then they just started in on me…"
Edward glowered. So Jessica Stanley and her crew were behind this.
"Don't do anything Edward – please." Bella mumbled
"How do expect me to not do-" Edward was cut off as Bella placed a hand on his forearm and looked at him from under her eyelashes begging.
"Please."
And all of a sudden, Edward knew he could deny her nothing.
A/N So I've written a bit more about the pasts of Edward and Bella. I haven't actually finished the next chapter but I'm thinking it would probably be the last.
Please review and tell me what you liked, disliked, improvements etc.
XxxNicolexxX
