Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Luna: Yay! I'm so happy we have fans! I'll update 2-3 times a week from now on, cause I originally thought it would take off like a lead balloon. . ANYWAY! Here it is…And I used the names of friends for the dead characters later on, cause I couldn't remember their names for the life of me.

Chapter 2: Enter the mall.

Frank stared at Carlito for a second and said, " Okay then…"

He went past him and through the door, gathering some helpful items along the way. And by helpful, I mean a soccer ball, a mannequin hand, and a bucket. But for some weird reason, Frank found that he could not carry all said items. And he felt the urge to take pictures of things…take pictures and he'll be able to carry it. Right? Right.

Frank got past a security screen, where a girl was dragged out of her car by several…people. He stared, and mumbled, " Gang bang?"
He shrugged, and kept going. Time is money. And money is the product of a good scoop.

Frank got to the main area of the mall, where several people were barricading the entrance with benches and such.

A random man cried, " Hey, bring that over here!"
A random old lady whines, " Madonna!"

She bumps into the guy holding a bench, and starts panicking.

" Madonna! Oh! Oh!"
Madonna? Wondered Frank, as in…like a virgin? Great, now that song is in my head.

" Quit screwing around!" cried Ryan, as the old lady Lindsey collides into Frank.

" Have you seen my baby?" she wailed, freaking, " Have you seen my Madonna? My little doggy?!"
"…The singer?" he asked, " Oh…wait-"
But she ran off, anyway. To what we all know is her inevitable death, like all old people in horror movies. They're the first to die.

Frank shrugged. He decided to pass the time by taking pictures.

" See! Something always happens when we go shopping!" said an old man to his wife, " Like that time the store was robbed when you just had to get that prune juice!"
" Shut up! We needed to get the new DVD limited edition of Murder She Wrote," she retorted, as I had pulled out every old person stereotype I could think of.

" Domestic Dispute!" cried Frank, snapping the photo.

He walked over to a girl comforting a freaked out girl, and snaps the photo; declaring, " I support yuri!"

What's funny is, no one seems to care that Frank is taking random pictures of them. Doesn't anyone find it a little…weird? Creepy? Stalkerish, build a shrine in my closet, creepy?

Frank then proceeded to stare at a 'mysterious' woman on the other side of the door. She regarded him coldly, and Frank kept staring. He liked it when girls played hard to get. Some even went as far to put restraining orders on him; but hey. More of a challenge.

" Hey! This is no time to be staring at pretty girls and trying to lose your virginity, son!" cried Ryan, " Are you looking to get eaten by zombies-"
Before Frank could protest he wasn't a virgin since that time in college when he got piss drunk and that band geek threw herself at him, he said, " What? Did you say zombies?"
Ryan sighed.

" Take a look out there! If those ain't zombies, what would you call 'em? There's been more and more of 'em since last night. Now they're all that's out there. Unless they are really drunken, battered, cannibals."

Frank did the only thing all reporters do when in the face of adversary. Take pictures.

" Alright then! Feel like makin' yourself useful? Take a look around the mall and bring anything we can use for the barricade back here. Andale! C'mon! Pronto!" said Ryan.

Frank glared.

" I am doing something useful, I'm taking Kodak moments before they get in here and kill everyone." Frank stated, but went to the back of the mall and help anyway.

Frank bent over to get some objects for the barricade that was on a one way trip to hell, when he noticed an old man on the other side of the gate.

" Huh?" asked he asked, dumbly.

Being the great photographer he is, Frank automatically takes a picture of him; for he's never seen an old man in the wild.

Dazed from the flash, he screamed, " You! Stop right there. Do you have any idea what you've done. Why did you summon me to this place!? What are you planning!? Oh, my EYES!"

The old man pokes his cane through the gates and shanks Frank in the ribs.

" Will you calm down-"

" Maybe I would if someone didn't flash their camera light in my eyes I would've calmed down!"

And with that, the old man hobbles off, still seeing spots from the flash.

" What the-?" Frank began.

Like every old person or child in any horror movie, Lindsey is an idiot. An idiot that would cause a bunch of people to suffer because of her stupidity, much like those brats from 28 weeks later who caused the entire place to get infected because listening to the quarantine rule was so last summer.

" Madonna!" she screamed like a banshee in heat, " My Madonna is out there! Being touched for the very first time!"
She starts moving the barricades, which is sorta weird cause she's old and frail and she's just…never mind.

Everyone started screaming at her, asking her what the hell she was doing. Lindsey ignored this, because the logic that the zombies were after humans not animals; was last summer, too. 2 burly men grabbed her, only for Lindsey to break free. Okay, how the hell does some tiny, frail, little old lady take on 2 grown men and win?

" Ageism!" screamed Frank, taking a picture.

Lindsey moves the barricade, screaming, " I'm coming to save you baby! And letting everyone die in the process!"

Sure enough, she was pulled through the doors as her prissy poodle yelped.

That's when all hell broke loose, and the zombie invasion began.

Frank grabbed a bench and began mashing and bashing every zombie he saw.

" TOM JENKINS! IS DEAD!" a disembodied voice announced, in a voice that resembled Mr. Moviefones'.

" What the fu-" began Frank.

" SEAN THATCHER! IS DEAD!" it cried, again.

Frank looked around frantically. Where the hell is that voice coming from!?

Unfortunately for everyone else, Frank was only out for himself this time around. He threw a trash can on one zombie, and smacked another with a potted plant. As he neared the stairs, the same voice said, " AMANDA MARRA! IS DEAD!"

" Way to make a guy feel guilty!" snapped Frank, eyes at the sky, cursing the voice.

" What in the hell are you people doing!? Run! Quick! Move! Get over here! Everyone! Move this way! Quick! To the stairs! Mooooove!" came a man's voice, Brad; from the second floor area.

Frank follows him into the security room, where the menace of society know as Otis closes the door behind him.

" Where are the others?" demands Brad, as Frank stumbles in; panting.

" What others-I mean…uh…I tried my hardest but they're sorta zombie chow," Frank said, quickly.

Otis grabs a blow torch and started blowing the door…wow, seriously re-read that sentence for a second. I need some maturity. And perhaps better sentence structure.

" As long as those things are in the mall, we shouldn't use that door," said Brad, whose intelligence shocked me.

Brad then proceeded to stick his head up the air duct, to which Frank took a snap shot of. You know, for his scrap book.

" Downright oddness!" he cried, taking a picture.

" I'm not being weird," he sighed, " Those things aren't smart enough to use the ducts. So they won't be a factor.

" Wait a minute, you want to get back in there?" asked Frank, who wouldn't stop him cause the thought of a lot of brutality pics of him getting chowed on by zombies entered his greedy photojournalist head, " What for?"

Brad looks up in the duct and then crawls in it.

" Hey! Hey!" Frank cried, staring.

That's when Jessie appeared. And James. Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light! Surrender now or-wrong, wrong game. Wrong T.V show. Wrong everything.

" Nice camera…Are you a photojournalist?" asked Jessie.

" As a matter of fact, I am. Frank West, photojournalist." as he extends his hand to shake.

" Can you show me some pictures, Frank?"
Frank drops his hand and shows her the pictures on his camera. The first one was of a zombie chewing on someone's face, the next was the 2 girls, and the other one was Frank, half naked, on silk sheets, wearing a leopard print thong; making a porno face. Or looking very constipated, that depends on your opinion. Jessie gave him a weird look and he quickly moved over it, " That was for uh, a special occasion-"

" Wait! Stop!" she cried.

" Huh?…You wanna see it again?" asked Frank, surprised but sorta happy.

" No! The old man!"
" Old man? Oh…" he said, let down, " I took it near the entrance…why? He do something?"
Jessie stops for a second.

" Nope. Thanks for showing me, though."

Jessie hands him back his camera, and he says, " Hey! We're not done talking! Just who are you guys?"
" I'm Jessie. The man you saw earlier was Brad. That's all I can tell you. Or I'll have to kill you."
Seeing as Frank had nothing better to do but roam the mall without a weapon and traverse against seas of zombies to get some pictures, Frank went to the air duct. Where Otis said, " Hey! Take this map and walkie-talkie."
" Why?"
" So I can talk to you." he said, grinning.

" Uh…Okay…" he said, figuring Otis was a lonely old man.

And he would later find out just how lonely Otis was. As in, he's gonna KEEP calling.

So Frank went off to pursue his life goal of becoming filthy rich. That's when the call began.

" Hello?" he asked, answering the thing as he got to the elevator.

" Its Otis. I just wanted to see if you was still alive."
" Oh. I am…and…"
" Oh, that's it."
And he hung up.

Shrugging, Frank got in the elevator.

5 minutes later, as Frank was bashing in the head of a zombie, Otis calls again.

" Frank? You still alive?"
" Uh, yeah, but I'm a bit-" he smacked the zombie again, " busy at the moment."
" Oh…I see."

And the conversation ended.

Little did Frank know, as he neared the warehouse hallway thing, how this chain of events would lead to what I'd like to call, ' Lonely old men who don't know when to shut the fuck up.'

Frank, though he was carrying a lead pipe, decided to go for a fire extinguisher.

" Zombies, huh?" he asked, to no one, " I thought that you'd might show up…"
He swiftly turns, to find Jessie, who gets startled and falls to the ground.

Ow…

Luna: End Chapter! Chapter 3: Frank's covered wars, so that MUST mean he can use a gun!