Now he'd got her thinking she was a bad person. A sinner, of all things!
And then it hit her: he had done it on purpose. There were no "unlamplike" feelings behind that kiss, it was merely a strategy! He had done this so carefully it might have gone unnoticed, but not for her, oh no. She knew exactly what his plan was.
Mindy - trying to reach a higher stage of selflessness - was on her best behavior since dating Casey. The trip to Haiti was the ultimate proof that she was deserving of this amazing man, and that she had come a long way since the one-night stands with Jeremy, or drunkenly crashing bikes into pools in the middle of the night.
She was feeling proud of herself those last couple of days: she had canceled one of her gossip magazine subscriptions (okay, she was still receiving another 2 in her house, plus the magazines in the office, but whatever), she had been brutally attacked in a prison and hadn't made a fuss about it (if you don't count crying and threatening her hairdresser for thicker extensions), and she had gone from watching "Freaky Friday" to "Salmon fishing in Yemen" (much more "political", she thought). She knew, as did Danny, that in order to remain Casey's girlfriend, she had to do a lot of soul searching and be the ultimate Good Samaritan.
But then there was that party. And the jealousy and those stealing glances from Danny that made her weak at the knees (god knows why!). She had convinced herself it was the alcohol speaking, and also the fact that with a little imagination he could resemble a young hot Al Pacino. But the conversation in the bathroom had clouded her judgment really bad. She was even naïve enough to think that kiss with Danny had meant something to him.
But the truth was, and now she fully understood, that Mr. Italian Christianity himself had corrupted her with that kiss! That tingling, warm sensation still dancing around on her bottom lip and the tip of her fingers was the brand of the devil himself.
Her conscience was eating away at her now (and to be honest, her horniness too). But that had been the plan all along: she had sinned - willingly or not - and now she was scum again. She was back at the starting point. Down, way down in the human scale of decency, and that bothered the heck out of her. Danny knew she wouldn't be able to lie to Casey, and put that kiss behind her, and go to Haiti to pretend she was a glamorous Mother Teresa. That bastard!
He was set on his opinion that she was making a mistake, and that she wasn't good enough for Haiti, or Casey, or anything that might bring her redemption. He wanted to drag her down to his level, the "sad loser" level. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh. But he was so stubborn that he was willing to go and mess up his life too and kiss her and confuse her, just so he could prove a point.
But he was a Catholic, how could he? Must be that mob blood running through his veins, she thought. He's a gangster, he can't help it. Why go so far though? ... Why did he care so much? … Mindy couldn't help blushing at this question.
Would he be able to go on with Christina now that he was a cheater too? She knew that he knew it was bad, and that now Mindy had the power to break them up if she only spoke the truth. Of course it would backfire on her too, but at this point there was no way of getting out of this situation without getting her hands dirty.
Unless she kept silent about everything. Okay, she needed to do that. Lying by omission, they call it, but maybe it was better than being single again, and maybe it was better than breaking Danny's heart. Why did she care so much too? He had damaged her, and yet she still couldn't bring herself to hurt him...
Mindy wasn't too happy about this alternative, but it seemed like the right choice. Yeah, she would do that.
CUT...
Now she'd got him thinking he was a prick. A prick, of all things!
He, the poor victim of betrayal by women who loved him and left him, was now a cheater. Why had she done that? Why had she brushed her soft, full lips against his and made him fuzzy? Why had she come to the party with that tight dress and that cleavage that made him uneasy (and a little bit hard below)?.
Christina had invited them, true, but he never thought she would attend. He had witnessed the tension between the two women, and had concluded that either they were going to catfight it off, or just ignore each other. He evidently didn't know anything about women. Except how much fucking power they had over him, specially these two.
He wasn't even sure what he was doing living with Christina again. They were trying to sort things out, but the thing was this: he knew he couldn't fully forgive her. He also couldn't fully let her go. So he was stuck there, feeling like he had been handed a card of redemption, a do-over, and yet he wasn't sure if that was what he wanted. He had longed for Christina to come back to him for several months. He had dreams and fantasies about her begging and crawling her way back to him. He had waited for her at some point, sabotaging all his other relationships, thinking that until he had her back he wouldn't feel complete again. But the fucked up thing was that, now he sort of "had" her, he felt more incomplete than ever. He was empty, and confused, and still quite a bit angry at her (and at him to for taking her back so easily).
He had this idea of what a man should be, and endure, and let go of. And it turns out it was a load of crap. He had tried to be Clint Eastwood, yet he felt as stupid as Matt Damon on the Ocean's 13, or 19 or whatever movie. He was fooled time and time again, and all he could do was watch as this one tiny blonde ruin his life over and over.
And then there was Mindy, and that bathroom, and their bodies so close he had had a hard time not plunging himself on top of her (in a way, to shake her off this goodie two-shoe attitude and, in another way, to rip her clothes off). Mindy didn't make him feel like a fool, but she definitely made him weak. Her words affected him more than he cared to show ("a doormat" she had called him. Ouch.), and her silly little rambles and quirks ignited a fury in him that could only be described as passion. He would have never imagined her being the first of the two to give in to these "unlamplike" feelings. It caught him SO off guard, that leaning in, her mouth on his mouth, those breasts pressed against him... Shit Danny, down boy. Get yourself together.
And now he was a cheater twice. Because no, little shithead couldn't leave it at that, and had to go on and kiss her and confuse her and, to sum up, fuck things up BIG time. Man up, Castellano. I can't believe you did this to yourself. You swore on your mother's grave that you would never EVER be a cheater. And now look at yourself, Mr. Scumbag.
This whole thing was so annoying, and he had not only messed himself up, but he had dragged Mindy into his "sad loser" level. Would she still go to Haiti after this? Would she go to Christina and turn him in? Or would she come to him, wanting more? He grinned at this mental picture for a second. Truth is he hadn't meant for any of this to happen. Okay, maybe this moment they'd had was a leftover from that Santa Fe trip, before things got so complicated (He could still reenact that hand-holding sequence in his head like it was yesterday). However, the bottom line was that she had made him a cheater. She had initiated this whole thing. SHE had grabbed his hand in the plane. SHE had leaned in. SHE had kissed him. Good, Castellano, make up excuses, like you are a frigging saint. Jesus!...
He would not be able to turn her in to Casey, though. He didn't know why. The girl had damaged him so bad, and yet he couldn't bring himself to hurt her. He secretly wished she would stay, although he knew this would mean the end of himself and Christina (his conscience would surely burn if he repeatedly saw Mindy and Christina in the same room, and he wouldn't be able to stand it). Maybe he shouldn't do anything. Maybe the only way out of this situation was to say nothing and do nothing and just let things order themselves. Mindy would go away for a while, and that would give him time to think. Christina would stay, and they would try to see if there was a shot at rekindling things. Danny wasn't too happy with this alternative, but it seemed right. Yeah, he would do that.
CUT...
It's Monday morning. Danny enters the elevator, longing for this few seconds of solitude before entering the now Mindy-less office. He has to put on a show, like she had said. He can't let anyone see through it. Just when the doors are closing in, a hand stops them from touching.
It's Mindy Lahiri.
They look at each other. A beat. Then she enters the elevator. They stand side by side, looking at the ceiling in total silence.
D: So…
M: I didn't go Danny. He did. It's over. Drop it.
D: I'm sorry.
After a second of silence goes by he says:
D: You look nice.
M (acting disgusted): Shut up
They are about to get off the elevator, but she presses a button and the doors halt to a stop. Mindy turns back to him, poking a finger in his ribs.
M: That thing Castellano? It NEVER happened, okay?
D (playing along and holding his hands up, like surrendering): Don't even know what you're talking about.
Mindy opens the door and they both head into the office. The crew welcomes them eagerly, surprised by Mindy's presence. Just when she is about to close her office door she overhears a rather loud conversation between Danny and Morgan.
Morgan: So, Dr. C, how's the wife?
D: Wouldn't know Morgan, since I'm not married.
Morgan: But what about Chris…?
D: Nah, that could have never happened. (a little louder and looking over his shoulder) She's gone.
Mindy quietly shuts the door of her office, with pursed lips that could easily become a smile at any second.
