Chapter 2
Ohh...what happened? Feels like the morning after Twilight's birthday party.
Rainbow Dash slowly opened her eyes, only to see light green.
Oh no! No! Those trumblr pictures have come true! I was too awesome for sight, anyway...wait a minute...
Shaking her head, the seaweed covering her eyes flew off.
Ouch! Shouldn't move my head too quickly, but at least I can see...where am I?
Sand and palm trees surrounded Rainbow Dash's field of vision. Turning her head to the left, she could see water next to a beach.
Ok...I don't think we're in Ponyville anymore, Toto...what the hay is a Toto? Like someone is digging through my brain...Wait...I remember now...Derpy! Storm must have blown me pretty far...too tropical for Horseshoe Bay or Vanhoover...but if I were near Applewood or Las Pegasus, this would be a resort, not a deserted beach...am I all the way by the San Palomino Desert? Derpy, what I get my hooves on you...
Rainbow Dash's train of thought...mostly revenge fantasies on the cross-eyed pony...were interrupted by approaching voices. Rainbow Dash tilted her hear so her ear was pointed in the direction of the voices.
"Gilligan...I'm tell ya, little buddy, a horse can't swim."
"Uh, perhaps it is a bit like The Black Stallion ha ha...required reading at Harvard, not like those Yale ruffians who read Das Kapital."
"Oh how marvelous! Just think, Thurston, our very own horse here on the island...it'll be like the stables back home!" (He he, accent sounds like Rarity)
"This horse wasn't black, it was blue."
"A blue horse means lack of oxygen...probably already dead and just washed up."
"I've always wanted to try horse meat, like those fancy French chefs."
"Oh, poor thing."
"Here we are."
Coming out of the jungle came the strangest creatures Rainbow Dash had ever seen. They stood on two legs, like Iron Will and Discord, but looked very different. Their manes were very short, and besides that, they were hairless, exposing peach-coloured flesh. Despite the area looking rural, all the creatures wore clothes, which for ponies were reserved either for special occasions, or by the upper crust of Cantelot and Manehattan, certainly not natives on a tropical beach...
Wait a minute...natives cannibalise ponies! And to think, I felt nervous around Pinkie...she looks nothing like cannibal savages...
The seven strange creatures stopped and stared at the cyan pony before them. After a moment of disbelief, one of the taller creatures with ginger hair said,
"She's molting."
Now this comment just turned Rainbow Dash's curiosity into indignation. Planning on cannibalising her was one thing, but there was no need to be rude about it, as her friend Rarity would say. With that, Rainbow Dash quickly turned around, raised her hind legs, and bucked the ginger-headed creature into a nearby palm tree, causing birds to circle her head.
Fluttershy would be excited...more birds...
"Who's molting now, bitch!" shouted Rainbow Dash. Rather than being insulted, much to Rainbow Dash's surprise, the creatures eyes went big and jaws dropped to the ground.
"Did that horse just talk?!" exclaimed one of the heavier-set creatures.
"I'm a pony, not a horse...a pegasus, to be exact," spat Rainbow Dash. Flapping her wings to show off this fact, she was stopped from flying by a sharp pain in her left wing.
Damn...did that break again?
"This...this has to be some sort of mass hysteria," said the creature wearing a white shirt.
"See if this is a hallucination!" Rainbow Dash cried, as she again reared her legs and bucked straight into the creature's groin. A high-pitched cry of pain escaped the creature as he clutched his wounded gonads and fell to the ground.
"Think I just found a new job for you once we get off the island," said the creature in a red shirt.
"That's that, Gilligan?" asked the heavy-set creature.
"A soprano," replied the red-shirted creature.
"Gilligan...ouch...I'm not in the mob," replied the wounded creature.
"I meant an opera singer...like those sad clowns," countered the red-shirted creature known as Gilligan.
"If this swells too badly, I'll be more like a castrato," replied the wounded creature, still clutching his bruised jewels.
"You mean like that place all the swallows migrate to?" asked Gilligan.
"Gilligan, that's Capistrano, not castrato...though the same group is responsible for both..." remarked the heavy-set creature.
"Look, the poor thing's wing is broken, that's probably why she's so grumpy," noted a smaller, but surprising cute creature with brunette hair in the nicest voice Rainbow Dash had heard from this group yet.
"Yeah, congratulation on a successful diagnosis, Dr. Stable, now say how it's never lupus," spat Rainbow Dash. While the brunette creature had a kind voice, Dash reminded herself these creatures wanted to cannibalise her.
"Let me take care of this," the brunette said to her friends. Turning to Rainbow Dash, the brunette pulled a carrot from behind her back and slowly approached the pony.
"Why do you randomly have a carrot, Marry Ann?" asked Gilligan. Turning to him, the brunette answered,
"Well, when you got me, I was in the middle of something...not like any of the men here can take care of my needs...now, back on the farm, with those farm boys...hoo boy...take three nice strong, big farm hands to the hay in the barn, and they could take care of all three of a girl's holes...unlike you city slicker pencil pushers...and yes, pun intended...now, back to business."
Turning back to Rainbow Dash, waving the carrot in front of her, Mary Ann cooled, "Hey pony...nice, pretty pony...you want the carrot? Don't worry, pretty pony, we won't hurt you."
"You...you aren't going to cannibalise me?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"No, of course now...well, we couldn't...you're a pony, and I'm a human," replied Mary Ann.
"Hugh man?" said Rainbow Dash.
"That's right. Now, you want the carrot?" said Mary Ann, soothingly, sticking the carrot out. Rainbow Dash sniffed at the carrot for a moment. While it would have been easy for Dash to find Mary Ann condescending, Dash's natural pony instincts kicked in as she began nibbling on the carrot. A hand then began stroking her mane.
"What's your name, my little pony?" asked Mary Ann.
"Rainbow Dash, best flier in Equestria! Who are you?"
"My name is Mary Ann Summers, but you can call me Mary Ann. Now, you said something about 'Equestria'?"
"Yeah...you know...the pony land ruled by Princess Celestia. I'm originally from Cloudsdale, like most pegasi, but I live in Ponyville with my friends...now, I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me where I am and how to get back to Ponyville...somepony has to keep Derpy from screwing up the weather more than she already has," replied Dash.
With a frown, Mary Ann replied, "Oh, if only we knew! We're a long way from home as well, my little pony. Hey, you say you can fly?"
"Ha! Damn right I can fly...winner of the Best Young Flier Competition, only pony to ever successfully complete a sonic rainboom, and future Wonderbolt! Well...normally I can fly...but I think my wing is broke...could you please help me? I'm really sorry about bucking your friends earlier...I just thought you all were cannibals, and I'm no Fluttershy in any case," said Rainbow Dash, looking down as she finished the carrot.
"Of course we'll help you get better! Poor pony, far away from your home and friends, seeing humans for the first time, and you're hurt and can't fly, which you sound very proud of doing. Anyone would be cautious and defensive. Professor can make a cast out of coconuts better than anyone...we'll have you better in no time!" said Mary Ann.
"Now wait just a second! I'm sterile now thanks to that 'little pony'," said the Professor.
"Oh Professor, don't you see? This pony needs our help. And once she can fly, maybe she can help us get off the island!" countered Mary Ann, looking back at Dash.
"Yeah! I'll totally get a rescue party out here to get y'all home...wherever that is," agreed Rainbow Dash.
"We'll show you on a map later. Let's get back to the cave where the medical supplies are so we can patch ya up," said the heavy-set man. And with that, the seven humans and pony left the lagoon.
