Chapter Two: Curiosity Killed the Cat
Hermione was sat on the couch watching TV. Her hand brought a forkful of noodles up to her mouth, chew, and repeat. She'd been continuing this sequence for the better part of half an hour now, enraptured by the nature program she was watching.
It was a special episode on cats – both wild and domestic – and it was intriguing to Hermione, who had always been a big fan of cats. Unfortunately Crookshanks had recently died, and the Gryffindor bookworm sometimes got a little sniffly every now and then when she found herself wanting something to cuddle.
Not that Crookshanks had ever really appreciated the hugs that Hermione had lavished on him – he was a rather feral animal, after all. Maybe it was the kneazle in him, she mused.
She was jolted out of her reverie by the presence of a familiar redhead on the sofa next to her.
"Whatcha, 'Mione," Fred grinned at her, grabbing a fork from the cutlery pot – don't ask why it was on the coffee table, it was meant to be "artistic" or something ridiculous like that - Hermione was still trying to get her head round it, and suspected it was for convenience sake more than anything else.
"Oh hey, Fred," She smiled, "Made much progress with your list of reasons yet?" She grinned wickedly. Only Hermione Granger would set Fred an academic sounding task detailing why Hermione should have sex with Fred. She'd be so much better if she worked in politics, she chuckled to herself, taking another bite of the Chinese food.
"All in good time, all in good time," Fred grinned, throwing her a saucy wink as he cracked open one of the fortune cookies that came complimentary with the meal.
If the TV wasn't a good enough deal cincher for the twins RE: letting Hermione move into their flat, then the introduction to Chinese takeout sealed the deal.
Fred had been especially fascinated by the concept of fortune cookies, and had come to take the messages on the scraps of paper as divine guidance. Hermione was amused watching as he read each one, puzzling in thought as he tried to work out what it meant.
This time, when he read the prophetic sentence, a smile broke out across his face, and when he looked up he had a wicked look in his eyes.
"Hermione, you know the expression Curiosity Killed the Cat," Fred began, and Hermione regarded him with suspicion. Where was this going?
"Yesss…" She admitted, "What about it?"
"Well it would be an awful shame for you die, wouldn't it?"
"I wasn't planning on doing it any time soon," chuckled Hermione, "I've had plenty of near death experiences in my life already, thanks."
"Yes well what if you died from the curiosity of not having sex with me?"
For a few moments, Hermione burst out into peals of uncontrollable laughter, "Nice try Fred," she gasped, between laughs. "But I'm not a cat."
"Don't lie to me, Hermione, we all saw you in the hospital wing in your second year… Millicent Bullstrode's cat wasn't really one of you better looks," he grinned, dodging a cushion that Hermione had lobbed his way.
"How come you've never mentioned it?" She exclaimed, mortified that her furry little secret had been discovered.
"Well, Madame Pomfrey said she'd jinx us if we ever said anything –" Fred began, trailing off as he saw the cheeky expression on Hermione's face.
"Oh really?" She smiled, "Well it just so happens that Madame Pomfrey and I have stayed in contact – we're very good friends," Hermione remarked slyly.
"Nooooo," Fred exclaimed dramatically, "Anything, Hermione, I beg you, but don't set the matron on me – she's evil!" Hermione chuckled, rolling her eyes.
"Don't worry, I'm not a snitch," she admitted, "But tell anyone about the cat incident and your balls are in serious danger."
"My whole penis is in danger, Hermione," Fred grinned, "Will you take a look at it for me? I'll let you touch it, if you want," the redhead was doing his best not to laugh.
Hermione shot Fred a disdainful look. "You really are disgusting, you know that?"
"C'mon 'Mione," Fred whined, "I'm only messing."
"Good."
She settled back into the comforting support that the sofa offered, watching the remaining few minutes of the cat program. It was somewhat harder to follow, given that her conversation with Fred had distracted her from the documentary altogether.
Fred broke the silence. "C'mon, surely you'd have heard the girls at Hogwarts talking? You can't deny that you're a bit curious?"
Hermione looked at Fred pointedly. "You think I listened to the incessant drivel that came out the mouths of Lavendar Brown and those aggravating Patil sisters?"
"OK maybe not," grinned Fred, "No wonder you've still got so many brain cells – I bet you had your head buried in a book as thick as the three of them put together," he chuckled, "At the time they would have been discussing my –ahem- manhood," He lowered his eyes to his crotch, causing Hermione to tut in outward disgust. He really was vulgar, at times, she thought.
"Funnily enough, yes, I probably did. That's what clever people do, you see, read."
"Oh Granger, I'm offended that you insult my intelligence so… one doth protest," Fred mock clutched his heart, prompting another eye roll from Hermione's direction. "But aren't you a tiny bit curious?" He probed, genuinely intrigued.
It was a well-known fact that Fred Weasley was a desired individual. He had been through all of his Hogwarts years, and he still was now; the flocks of girls that came into the shop just to drool were evidence enough – and didn't he know it, thought Hermione.
She responded smartly with a witty comeback, the best way to avoid answering a question, "I think there's only one thing around here that's bound to be tiny," she trailed off, pointedly staring in the vicinity of Fred's appendage. She chuckled, laughing at the disgruntled reaction that flitted across Fred's face – replaced almost instantaneously by a look of determination, and perhaps even hopefulness, she noted, amused.
"Well you'll never know until you try, will you," Fred grinned. "I would whip down my trousers here and now, but if my memory serves me correctly, I've got to come up with nine more reasons, and then maybe you'll do it for me instead," he winked at Hermione, prompting yet another eye roll.
"You're insufferable," she remarked, noticing with amusement that the slip of paper from Fred's fortune cookie was on the table. It read 'Curiosity Killed the Cat'… "D'you know that?" She asked, already knowing his response.
He grinned. "But you wouldn't want me any other way," he pointed out, and Hermione paused in thought.
No, she supposed, no she wouldn't.
