Hi, me again *waves* so here's chapter 2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUEY! This ones for you, because I adore you and you deserve the best. Hope you like it (even though it's sort of sad)!

In answer to the Guest review on last chapter, I will be continuing my storyline and you won't have to live through 8 seasons of angst again, I promise! This and the previous chapter are the only ones I've got planned (so far) to be affiliated with the canon storyline. None of the others are shown in the show! Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and favourites and follows and that, they make me so happy. Hope you enjoy this chapter! (I promise it gets happier! Chapter 5 is FUN.)

And a big thanks to Jen too, for hyping me up.

'Cause I only lose my mind when I ain't got you

And how can I win when I'm always bound to lose?

When I'm always bound to

'Cause I tried to hold on tight to make you mine, but I lost each time

And I only lose my mind when I ain't got you

His hands shook as he dialled her number, mind consumed with fixing what he was so concerned with ruining. He hated that he was so nervous, hated that he let her affect him like that. He consoled himself with the fact that she effected everyone, so he couldn't have resisted her if he tried. An unfamiliar beep sounded and he heard her bubbly voice say, "This is Donna! If you want me to call you back, please say something interesting." He frowned at the voicemail message, all too aware that she'd never not answered his call before.

Attempting to shake off the intrusive thoughts that he'd finally driven her away, he put on an overly bright voice that he knew she'd see through instantly and spoke, "Hey, it's me. I was thinking that maybe we could..." He paused, unsure how to continue before sighing, "Talk? Anyway, let me know if that's interesting enough for you." He finished with an awkward laugh, cringing when he thought about the relentless teasing he'd have to endure once she heard it.

It was hours later when his phone chimed with her signature notification. He smirked despite himself, consumed with relief that she wasn't ignoring him like he'd assumed. The smile was quickly replaced with a frown, though, when he saw her reply.

"Ok."

Just ok? He thought, concerned at the total un-Donnaness of the message. His Donna would give him a time and place because she could never trust his choice in location or his ability to schedule his life. And not only that, his Donna would probably provide him with some kind of gossip that he'd have to pretend to care about. He tried to ignore the voice in his head telling him that maybe she wasn't his Donna anymore.

A brief conversation resulted in plans being made for The Talk. Harvey had capitalised the event in his mind, and attempted to offer an olive branch of sorts when he suggested they meet at her 'comfort cafe'. He never really understood that phrase, but the only time he asked her why she went to that cafe every morning, she responded with that. He was trying to make her comfortable, attempting to create some semblance of normal in a situation that had him feeling anything but.

Harvey arrived at the cafe ten minutes early, and cursed himself. She knew that he was never early, to anything. He had adopted the (possibly unhealthy) mindset that being late showed a lack of control as soon as Jessica told him it, and he supposed it was fitting. He never did have control when it came to her.

She arrived five minutes later, but he wasn't surprised that she was early. She always was a stickler for punctuality. He pretended to ignore her red rimmed eyes as she approached the table, but his heart clenched as he cursed Marcus internally for ruining his shot. He considered continuing, telling her that he wanted to try, that they should screw the rules and make it work because it was them and it would work out because it had to, but then he saw her bite her quivering lip and he couldn't do it. He didn't tell her that he wanted to make it work because he couldn't. He couldn't be what she needed, and he'd screw up because that was what he did, and he couldn't afford to do that. Not with her. So he started to tell her that he was sorry he left, before he was cut off with her harsh voice.

"Get to the point, Harvey. I have things to do."

He stumbled at her words, not used to her being so severe with him. In all the time that they were partners, she had never spoken to him like the enemy. Even when he slept with her friend and never called her again and she called him (more than) a few curse words, she had never been so cold.

The rest of the conversation passed in a tense atmosphere, words of "going back" and "forget it" being spoken in a frenzy, neither letting their guard down for fear of something that they were both too tired to face. He received a smile from her when he let her write her signing bonus, and he tried to make himself believe that it was genuine, but the way that her eyes wouldn't meet his convinced him otherwise, and he briefly wished that she had no power over him. He corrected himself after that, because the hurt he was feeling was better than not having Donna at all. It was later, when his sleeves were rolled up and he had an all-too-full glass of scotch in his hand, that he took solace in the pain. Feeling everything with her was better than feeling nothing without, he told himself.

Across town, she sipped the drink that she had only recently grown accustomed to, chuckling tiredly as she realised that he was probably doing the same. They were paralleled, even at their worst. Even if they were angry and hurt and wanted to cut the other out of themselves, they had an unspoken connection that she wasn't sure how to stop. She didn't know if she wanted to, most days, and she wasn't sure if this meant he was thinking of her like she was thinking of him. She hated herself for hoping that he was.

And I know that I broke all your rules

Oh, now you're looking at me, and I'm looking at you like a fool

But, you don't know what it feels like to fall in love with you

No, you don't know what it's like when you can't go back