Kutau oneshot: Lollipop
Utau's POV:
As I ran through the streets of Seyio, small teardrops started to form in my eyes. Why did he always have to treat me like that? I knew that my desires of him were wrong, but it felt so right. He was the only one I could trust in this lonely world. He was the only one who knew my pain. Because he was going through the same thing. But as time passed and I started to feel something more for him, our relationship got worse, and he started to back away. Earlier, I always wondered why, could it possibly be another girl? Someone he believed was better than me? No, it couldn't be, I said to myself. But already then, I knew that I was wrong.
I pictured a face in my mind. The joker of the guardians, Hinamori Amu, our enemy. But for some reason, Ikuto wouldn't accept that she was. He just fell for her, really hard. And she's only a kid, a stupid little girl. How could he be more interested in her than me? I had talked about it a lot with my charas. Il suggested that I should beat the crap out of Hinamori, but I just can't bring myself to, and besides, it isn't her fault. El, being the angel she was, said that I should let Ikuto be happy. And as I left, I believed I had. I was just another burden to him anyways.
Suddenly, I heard the sound of the river floating by. I stopped running, and looked up. I was at the outskirts of eastern Seyio. I smiled sadly to myself as I looked at the bridge separating eastern and western Seiyo. It was certainly a good place to end your life. If I just jumped from the edge, into the water several feet below, I could easily get carried away by the currents. It would look like an accident. That's what I had planned for that evening. To be carried away by the currents. To jump from the bridge who held my most precious childhood memories. Because I really wanted to die while thinking of the good times in my life, the times when I was truly happy.
More tears came to my violet eyes as my thoughts returned to my fight with Ikuto earlier. He had gotten so mad at me for saying those things. I said that he shouldn't see Amu anymore, not because of me, but because if Easter saw them together it would be the end, for both of us…
Utau's Flashback:
I had prepared for this moment for several hours, the moment he would enter through that door, with the satisfied smirk on his face. I knew that he'd been with that Amu-girl the whole afternoon, and Easter started to get suspicious. I heard him knock three times to announce his arrival, before he opened the door and went inside. There was that smirk, plastered to his face. He looked so satisfied, I hesitated a bit, but decided that I was doing the right thing. "You've been going out with the enemy a lot lately, Easter starts to wonder what's going on! What do you think will happen if they get to know this? If you don't stop they might do horrible things to us!" I yelled at him. He stared at me with wide eyes, obviously shocked. I could see that he struggled to get a grip of himself.
"And so what?" he yelled. "Why do you suddenly care so much about Easters opinions when they have finally given you that little piece of freedom? The only reason you are doing this is because you want me to yourself! And I thought you were over that phase. You're just annoying! Find someone else to bother!" A large wave of shock flushed over me. Was I really that annoying to him? But common sense took me back into the situation, and I remembered why I was doing this. It wasn't for me, it was for him. I did this so Easter wouldn't bother him anymore.
"Can't you see that I'm doing this for you Ikuto? Not as a lover, but as a sister! I don't want them to hurt you anymore; I want you to be happy!" I cried out, as my vision faded due to all the tears flooding from my eyes. "Then let me be with her, and leave me alone!" he said with a stern, cold voice. I realized that he really meant it. "Fine! If you don't want me here, I will leave now, and I won't ever come back!" I yelled, before I ran out of the house, and smashed the door behind me…
I continued crying till I was out of tears. My face was red and my eyes sore. I took a deep breath, and started walking towards the bridge. This was the beginning of the end. Soon, there wouldn't be any Hoshina Utau anymore. I wondered if my fans would miss me. Would Ikuto show up at my funeral? After what I said to him, he must be pretty mad, he would probably think it's a good thing that I'm out of his way.
My left foot stepped onto the bridge. Memories immediately flowed into my mind. Happy memories from my long lost childhood. Where did that happy Utau go? I wondered. And what about the thing he promised me, my brother; why did it never happen?
Utau's Flashback:
"Nii-san, look!" I screamed eagerly to my seven year old brother, Tsukiyomi Ikuto as I dragged towards the edge of the bridge. I let go of his hand, and went down on my stomach, watching the currents movements. He quickly joined me, getting down on his stomach as well. A gorgeous swan caught my eye, and I watched as it ducked it's head under water and tried to catch itself lunch. This time, it was a complete failure. I giggled at the scene before I turned to look at Ikuto. "Ikuto, do you think our lives will be that funny?" I looked at him with curious eyes. He straightened his body, making a serious face, as if what he was about to say, was really important: "Life has many ups and downs. But once in the future, you will ignore that, and think about the good things in life. You will find things that will make you smile no matter how hard life is." "You promise?" I said, smiling. "I promise…"
I started walking to the middle of the old bridge, as I thought about my past. Why did everything have to be so unfair? What had I done to deserve this? No, what have we done to deserve this? Ikuto is in this mess as well. I really hope he will find a better way out of it. I went to the edge of the bridge, and looked down. Fright boiled up inside me as I watched the strong currents. A small duckling was caught by them and got carried way down the stream till I couldn't see it anymore. Did it survive? I doubted so.
Now I was really scared. Should I, or shouldn't I? I looked at the sun that started to set, and the moon that had started to rise. The light made it look blue, as in my song. I felt the need to sing grow in me, the words floated out of my mouth and made their own melody: "Sasayaku Blue moon, te o nobahitara. Sugu ni tidoki so una noni! Itsumo yasashiku hohoemu dake de, oikakeye wa kurenai ne…" I stopped, because I thought I heard footsteps, but I guess it was nothing. I looked at the river once again, took a deep breath, and…
"Utau-chan!" I heard a familiar voice scream. I turned around and almost got bumped down by Souma Kukai. "Gomen." He said, as he brushed dust of his pants. A lollipop was in his mouth, which made his voice sound weird. "It's okay." I said, before I turned to watch the sunset. Maybe I should do it some other day then. When he isn't around, I thought.
Out of the blue, the brunette put his arm on my shoulder, and turned his head towards mine. "Utau, have you been crying? What's wrong?" The young guardian asked me, with a worried look in his eyes. And I thought I was out of tears! Now they were flooding down my cheeks like no tomorrow. "You don't have to tell me what it is, unless you want to though." He continued. "I just want you to be happy!" he said, and grinned. I smiled a little. Kukai wiped my tears away with the back of his hand. "Now, let me see a real smile!" he said. I couldn't help but smile a little at his happy-go-lucky personality. "See, it's not that hard!" he grinned. Then he suddenly turned a bit nervous, I wondered why. "Eh, here you go!" He said, and offered me his lollipop.
I was shocked at how nice he was to me, despite how I always acted towards him. I could see a drop of saliva on the red lollipop. If I took it that would be like an indirect kiss, right? Kukai's face turned a bit red and I saw that he was nervous. "If you don't want it I can just…" he started, but was interrupted by my laugh. Wait, I laughed, really? I haven't done that in ages. Ikuto's words echoed in my head: "You will find someone that will make you smile…" "No, I wanna have it!" I said, and put the lollipop in my mouth. Kukai smiled, and I blushed as I thought about our indirect kiss. He blushed a bit too. Maybe he thought about the same thing. I guess life has its ups and downs, and I have to live with them. There's no need to end my life yet, I thought. I'll just wait a little longer and see what happens…
