Again, not my property, just playing.
2.
Three days later Severus stormed through the halls with a murderous expression on his face. The students, who had arrived just last evening, jumped to the side, instinctively putting their backs against the walls. Even the first-years didn't need any prodding from the more experienced students to get the hell out of his way, one corner of Severus' mind was quite satisfied to note.
He slammed open the doors of the staff room and looked around. Only Minerva and Pomona were inside, sitting at a cozy table in the corner and discussing something over tea.
Severus closed the staff doors and, under the curious looks of his colleagues, started to ward the room against intruders.
"What's happened Severus?" asked Pomona, while Minerva surreptitiously called a house-elf for coffee.
"She put that infernal alarm in my potions lab!" Severus practically screamed. "The stupid bint wouldn't even listen to my explanations about sound-sensitive potions. Even my argument that the potions labs have disaster-protocols in place, was swept under the rug. 'Go complain to Albus' she said." Severus concluded his rant with some choice words about Ursula Paddingtons' ancestors and their procreation habits, and approached the table.
"She did the same in my greenhouses," Pomona said, "I tried to explain it wasn't necessary, the things are made of glass, it isn't as if something could catch fire unseen. As it is, the racket will upset my plants." Here, Pomona looked like she had eaten a lemon.
"You heard Albus," Minerva interjected while handing Severus a cup of the strongest coffee the house-elves could whip up. "Professor Paddington is in charge of the implementation of the contingency plans, you just have to cooperate."
Severus could almost hear Minerva's disdain dripping on the floor. He took the cup gratefully and settled in the chair opposite Minerva.
"Do we know when she's planning to test the infernal devices?" he asked, calculating how quickly he'd need to move his more sensitive experiments.
" She wouldn't say. She's planning to immediately add an evacuation exercise to see how much training and work will be needed." Minerva answered.
"So we'd best inform our Houses," Pomona said pensively, "Do you know whether she put those alarms in the dorms?"
"No, only in the corridors, I believe, but the noise should be enough to wake the students. For the teachers, a ward in their quarters will register the activation of the alarms." Minerva said. "Luckily, she refrained from putting up the things even there." Minerva's eyes grew pensive when she said that. She shot a calculating look at Severus.
"We'll have to wait until she has activated it at least once, otherwise Albus will immediately know who did it." Severus immediately answered the unspoken question with an evil smirk on his face, "It shouldn't be hard to drop some comments where some of the more adventurous pranksters can overhear."
"Severus," Pomona said with a warning tone in her voice, "Don't involve my students in any of your plans. Better yet, don't involve any students." She gave Severus and Minerva a sharp look, "If you two are starting to plot, I'm leaving." Pomona drained her teacup and bustled out.
"Goody two-shoes," Severus muttered under his breath and for once Minerva didn't berate him.
"Did you find them?" he asked Minerva after making sure Pomona had closed the door properly.
"Yes, I had to overturn most of the attic, but I found them." Minerva rummaged through her pocket and got out two shrunken objects. She put them on the table and unshrunk them.
There, in front of Severus was a somewhat battered copy of Paddington Marches On and a copy of Paddington Goes to Town with apparently some pages missing and a big stain of an unidentifiable substance on the cover. Severus gave Minerva an enquiring eyebrow. Minerva looked sheepish and shrugged.
"How are we going to get this in students' hands?" Minerva asked interested.
"I believe cleaning out an old classroom is a good detention. Can I help it, if some idiotic child stashed his favourite books in there?" Severus tried, and completely failed, to look innocent.
That evening, Severus entered the Slytherin Common room with sweeping robes. His students shot out of their chairs and couches as if bitten. Seeing Severus stride to the fireplace, the prefects sent runners to the dorms to get al the students downstairs. They formed up in a loose half circle, with the smallest students in front and waited patiently for the stragglers to fall in line. Severus looked his students over, examining uniforms and their faces for signs of distress. Severus knew he wasn't very good with children, but at least they would be properly fed, clothed and taken care of while they were under his care.
Ending the visual inspection, Severus cleared his throat and started to speak.
"As you've no doubt noticed, there are some new additions to the ceilings of the halls and classes. These contraptions are fire-alarms." Severus used his most derisive tone.
Seeing the non-comprehending faces of most of his students Severus sighed quietly and started to explain.
"The fire-alarms are a part of the new contingency plans. Should there be a disaster within the walls of the castle they will raise the alarm for evacuation. For instance, a massive fire that none of the paintings, the house-elves or the staff notices until it has taken such proportions it can't be extinguished easily by magic." Sarcasm dripped from every word. "The alarms will give a sound signal. I have no idea what sound, but I've been assured one cannot be mistaken when hearing it. Every students will then drop whatever he or she is doing, leave the castle and assemble at the Black Lake, were the Prefects will count heads."
Miranda Harris, a blond seventh-year prefect, put up her hand.
"Yes Miss Harris?" Snape asked, knowing what was going to come.
"What do we do when the alarm goes off at night?"
"You will jump out of your bed, put on shoes, cloak and wand and leave, Miss Harris," Snape answered dryly. "Dressing is, as far as I've heard, not necessary." Here he looked at a group of fifth year girls who, according to castle-gossip, were notorious for spending hours in front of a mirror getting ready for breakfast. They looked quite scandalised.
"Sometime this week there will be a fire drill. This means the alarms will go off and everyone will leave the building to see how quickly we can evacuate. Any questions about the fire drill should be addressed to professor Paddington. Are there any other questions?" Severus looked them sternly over. His face clearly said there'd better be no questions. None of his students moved.
"Very well, I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast." With this Severus turned sharply on his heel and left the Common room.
A/N: Paddington Marches On and Paddington Goes to Town are two of the Paddington books, first published in 1964 and 1968.
