The last song was Independent Women by Destiny's Child. Duncan's turn next. I own nothing.

My old man used to give me lectures about how to treat a girl right, but I wasn't listening to fucking word he said. Everything he said was just a load of bull. Nothing was real in this world, least of all love, if the man really loved my mother, he wouldn't have cheated on her.

Fuck love, it doesn't exist. In this world only three things matter: cars, drugs, and girls. I look to my left to see the latest whore I fucked and see a half lit weed next to her so I take it, relit it and smoked until dawn until I leave and drive off on my brand new stolen Bugatti Veyron. It can go 253 mph, 0-60 in 2.5 seconds and it's the fastest car I've ever driven in my life.

I liked things fast. Fast was the best way things that things could be done. Ever since I was little I loved to do things fast, whether it was my bike, relationships, school I did everything fast and I planned to keep it like that. Life was good until she came into my life and messed with my entire system.

Tommy Lee – Here's some music to crash your car to,
aint no use its to fast to undo CRASH...CRASH, 60 shots
of Jack and I feel you, equilibriums off and its
pure pandemonium

I first saw her on that hell hole people called Total Drama Island. The moment I saw those perfect curves, the flowing brown hair, the luscious lips, the mesmerizing onyx eyes on that girl I didn't need the hard on to tell me what I wanted to do to that girl.

I expected to get laid that night and then fuck around with the girl for the rest of that summer but fate just loves to mess with me ad the girl turned out to be the biggest prude I met in my life. I remember the day as if it was yesterday.

After we all fell in the lake, we crawled to the beach, the girl's dorky sweater vest clung to that huge rack, and I was itching to rip it apart. The savage stare must have alerted her 'cause she looked in my direction and sneered.

That was not the reaction I expected. Normally when a girl catches me staring at her, she blushes, looks down to her feet, and smiles at me. Then the rest is easy, I walk over and the girl is putty in my hands as I have my way with her. I usually wear a condom unless the girl happens to be on birth control, I love sex but I don't plan on being a dad ever so I try my hardest to make sure I don't get the girl pregnant.

We're going too fast, we're going too fast, aint no way this
is ever gonna last, we're going too fast, we're gonna crash

I'm just a wreck so what the hell did you expect

The sneer was refreshing but just turned me on further 'cause I loved a challenge and I just loved when the girl played hard to get, it made the victory all the more sweeter.

After the bonfire that night, Courtney was her name, cornered me in the forest, another surprise, and demanded to know why I was staring at her back at the beach. I smirked down at her and leaned forward so that her back was to the tree behind her and my arm could rest comfortably on the trunk as I towered over her. I breathed into her ear, it always works, and said low "Do you really wanna know what I was staring at?" My other hand was already on her flat stomach and moving up fast and would have reached the target but I doubled over in pain one second later.

That little bitch kicked me in the kiwis and ran back to the campfire, the rest of the night she ignored me and considered me beneath her. I didn't give up so easily.

Cockeyed joyride swervin between the lines,
rearview mirror makin me loose my mind,
all liquored up and he's back behind the wheel again,
got no idea where he's goin' or where he's been

By the end of this stupid series, Courtney and I had gotten together, broken up, gotten back together, broke up again over a raccoon, then made up on a bus, then I left her in Egypt to tour with my punk band, then went back to her, then ditched her for Gwen and now here I stand ten years later, single and hating it.

I know I love things fast but this girl made my life the most dangerous rollercoaster I ever went on. And you want to know the one thing I found hilarious? I never even fucked her.

We're going too fast, we're going too fast, aint no way this
is ever gonna last, we're going too fast, we're gonna
crash

I'd push my luck so what, I just dont give a fuck

I find that unbelievable for a player like me. I was with that girl for years and never got laid once. ME, Duncan Russell who fucks whores every other day and never bothers to remember their name could never get this one girl in bed with him.

I even fucked Gwen by the first week but after I did it, I had an empty feeling. I always have this empty feeling that no one can measure up to my former Princess. She made life interesting and even got me to slow down. I didn't smoke as much, or steal as much, and I was abstinent the entire time I dated her. It was hard to figure out who loved Courtney more, my parole officer or me. Hold up. I didn't say love. I meant like, I liked the girl. I never loved her. I would never love a girl 'cause that fucking emotion didn't exist. I don't miss anything about her. Not the way her hair looked in the bright sun, or the way her onyx eyes lit up every time I was near her, or the felling of her full lips against mine. I certainly don't miss the way she mad me stop and smell the roses, or kept me out of jail, or that warm feeling that filled my stomach every time she was near me. I don't miss her and never will.

GOING TO FAST, GOING TO FAST..

The suns coming up as you start to feel your coming down,
god damn give me hope, so I can kiss the ground!

But then, why haven't I been happy since she broke up with me? Why do I feel like shit every time I wake up to another whore, or take a drag, or steal some crap. Why do I find myself slowing down and following the damn speed limit? Why am I constantly stopping and looking around my surrounding and walking around town more than taking my car and racing out of here?

We're going too fast, we're going too fast, aint no way this
is ever gonna last, we're going too fast, we're gonna
crash I'm just a wreck so what the hell did you expect

GOING TO FAST, GOING TO FAST…

What the fuck is a matter with me? When the fuck did Duncan Russell fall in love with Courtney and Garcia? And why the fuck did I let her go?

Crash by Method of Mayhem. What do we think? Better or worse? Or the same?