Eight months. His hell exists solidly in reality for eight months.
Eight months during which infamous history is made in the Battle of Canary Wharf, during which Ianto tries, tries so hard to save her.
Eight months. He is suspended from Torchwood Three and wishes he had been executed or Ret-conned rather than live through this. Then, possibly the only person who can reach him does and yanks Ianto back from the edge. Forcefully.
The more interesting story is the one that comes months after, where, through some twisted form of destiny, Ianto falls in love again. With an outspoken, gorgeous man, whose brash exterior hides his intense passions and the pain that he carries every day. He is beaten down by it. The first moment Ianto sees the brokenness in his eyes, he is hit by an overwhelming relief and dizzying happiness.
I'm not the only one.
It was the man's past. A past he point-blank refuses to elaborate on.
A past that Ianto knows is as war-torn as his, which has turned them both to desperation and loneliness. It's a past he doesn't want to remember.
And Ianto understands this about him. He understands that man better than anyone else.
His past is as much a mystery as who Ianto really is. But no one knows Ianto keeps secrets. So they don't bother to ask him. No-one cares enough to break down his barriers.
Then Ianto learns something extraordinary, and adds 'impossible' to the list of adjectives that describes his Jack. He wants to cry when he realizes that this beautiful man has been broken every few decades, and has then been rebuilt through those who are colleagues, and who gradually, against his will, become friends and partners.
Despite his internal arguments and rationalizations, it eventually dawns on Ianto that what he so desperately wants is to fix this man. Ianto wants to be the one by his side, always, so he can take away the pain, and put the broken pieces back together.
The absolution, when it finally comes, is such an overwhelming relief that they can't help but fall into each other. With every trial they go through as a pair, it only brings them closer together, despite the pain and the fear.
What first drew Ianto towards him was the despairing hopelessness he had towards ever finding anyone to love again. He's not like Gwen. He can't just go out into the world and find someone and hide everything from them. Well… he could. It's not like he can't see being with someone who doesn't know about Torchwood. After all, there are only five people who do, including him. And if there's one thing Ianto is good at, it's hiding secrets. He doesn't do it halfway. The lie is always perfect.
But hiding that much would kill him. And he knows, with Torchwood, eventually his significant other would find out.
He can't control everything. That, at least, he knows is true. Ever since those eight months.
And then it's the way he smiles, the way he charms his way into the hearts of his team. It's the way he leads them, not hiding any faults, not pretending any virtues, not lying about the horror of the job. Or the honor.
The thing Ianto loves most about him is impossible to name. They are both survivors. The way they find each other is a miracle he doesn't recognize at first.
And this impossible person, whom Ianto falls in love with, (for the second time in his life) is named Jack Harkness. He can almost taste the irony.
The story goes on for a few too-short years, and then ends. In the end, Ianto's life is overshadowed by a different story. A story of love and family, sacrifice and duty. That is all that is remembered of him on Earth. But light-years away, on an alien planet, the broken heart of his Jack carries Ianto's true memory for far longer than he ever expected to be remembered.
